The Berries: On knockerwatch, sniffing willies and clinging to the coat tails of the continued clusterdiff (thread 21)

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

That's really encouraging bat - just a couple of hundred more days of nail shredding anxiety to get through! Will you have more regular bloods now? Oh, and ditto what lumen said, I've had my phone on refresh since lunch!

Welcome serenity!!

60% eh barking? It's worth coming out from old berry land for! Is it ok to be just one tiny bit excited for you???
Let's say just 60% excited.
Lol

great news barking! hope some of that stress has lifted

Fab news Barking I hope that everything starts to settle down

That's good barking.

Very cheeky parent indeed, I agree with you tigerdog. I'm now thinking I'm going to have to be careful with my clothes,I'm wearing looser things anyway.

That was a great come back article to ka barking, the wyle coyote ovaries running off in all bar one did make me chortle.

Phoned clinic and eventually got my nurse ringing back,apparently she had requested to epu but they hadn't done anything. Anyway I'm now booked in for Thursday 12th, got to bring urine sample and have full bladder, what fun!! Works out well because I'm on a course that day so will go on to that afterwards and hopefully won't have to mention it to work. Fingers crossed it'll have grown and got cosy.

Feel really tired today, was knackered yesterday too. Stomach bit funny today, think dinner was a bit rich last night. Not as twingey today though.

Welcome to seren, which part of oz are you in? We went about 3 years ago.

Barking I am seriously dreading it and if it wasn't my best friends then I would not hesitate in not going. Man ever mind the fact that I have cross stitched a baby blanket and am making a cake for the shower!

Does the pain every stop? I knew that going through this process was going to be difficult but having this chemical has really thrown me - I was so prepared for the negative test that getting a positive was amazing.

The appointment with the clinic and Consultant was pretty much what I expected; I know the Consultant so knew how honest he would be about things. The long and short of it is that there is nothing that they would change about another cycle and that what has happened is cruel but one of those things and I'll be another statistic. The only thing they learnt was about how my embryos develop; apparently we actually had 4 blastos plus a the one they put back but only one fit the freezing criteria. They have suggested that as there is only one in the freezer that we have a fresh cycle. So DH and I need to make some decisions about what to do next; on the positive side this was the first time in nearly 3 years that I have been pregnant (albeit for a week).

Sorry for the long post I think that's I'll return to the blanket for now; will poke my head out from time to time and try and find some decent drugs to get me through Saturday.

Hope everyone else is ok; sorry this has been a me, me, me post.

Everyone is allowed a 'me' post when they need it hb. Hope baby shower goes ok x

aw hb, I feel your pain and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Going to your best friend's baby shower won't be easy, but I'm sure your friend will appreciate all your efforts and will be doing the same for you one day. I have a christening on Sunday and buying little gifts for their boys made me feel irrationally sad.

Feeling a bit more cheered about work after a good chat with my boss, and some positive feedback. I feel better about being able to stick my job out and finding internal opportunities to do interesting work. I am trying my best to think positively!

Grr, just typed a message and it disappeared

hb hugs. What you're saying is striking a chord with me. The upsetting thing is having the positive ( and like you I had prepared myself for a negative so was cautiously happy about it) and then having it ripped from you. It's like you only had a few days of joy and dreaming, before it was taken from you. I feel angry for you, esp when it seems that everyone else seems to get pg easily and quickly and can then luxuriate in baby day dreams and planning and not having this uncertainty and worry that we've had.

My nurse said to us that if it doesn't progress for us that we should take as positives that I responded well to drugs, that the eggs fertilised,that we got to day 5 and also that it did implant. She said miscarriages are common, one in four women.

What a lovely friend you are making a blanket for your friend's baby. Does she know about what's happened?

My dh recorded a programme called secret life of babies and the quadruplets prog for me, anyone watch them?

tiger am I getting confused, I thought it was you going for an interview and you wanted to move jobs?

hb that didn't sound remotely me me me compared to some of my whining recently . Is there something you can plan to do with DH straight after the baby shower so you've got a nice thing to look forward to?
Sorry the appointment wasn't very illuminating but good to know there wasn't a problem other than bad luck, as shitty as that is. It sounds like a plan to start a fresh round and get more eggs, do you get another on the nhs?

Hugs to tigerdog too. Hard buying these types of presents. We were invited to a christening this Sunday but declined. I felt if things hadn't worked it would be the last place I'd want to be... I think it's still prob a good idea we're not going but have bought a present and card which I'll give to someone who is going.

bushy I've avoided both programes. Can't do baby programes anymore, not even call the midwife which I used to enjoy as a 'period drama' but now I can't get past the babies .
How are you feeling now you've got a scan date?

Yay barking, am so glad it's positive news. That is really shitty that the clinic muddled your dates up. Can we be cautiously optimistic for you now!?

serenity welcome. I'm new here too but everybody has been really lovely and suppportive. Though it's crap to find yourself here, at least you're in good company! I just had my first round of IVF so give me a shout if you have any questions. Do you know what protocol you'll be on?

hb You're being really brave going to the shower and such a sweet friend for stitching a blanket, I would love to receive that as a gift (though I'd settle just for being pregnant too!) Hmmm that's a tough one deciding what to do next. If you went for an FET would it be natural or medicated? Lots of people talk about an FET being much less stressful than a full cycle, you might want to give it a try just on that basis?

feather What a cheeky comment, sounds like she was just snooping for gossip! I have a good colleague at the mo who I am sure is pregnant but I would never dream of asking until she's ready to come out.

tiger Good luck with your interview prep.

So I have a taste of how expensive kids are before they're even born. Got the rent invoice for our frosties today!

hb you are being so brave going to that baby shower.

Does your best friend know about your struggles to conceive? I honestly think that in your position I would be inclined to explain to my friend. If your close and she cares then she will understand.

But if you are keeping everything to yourself wrt TTC then telling her is not an option. Tell one and you tell all in my experience. Best of luck with it. xx

Oh Batking that is so great I know you are not out of the woods but I have a good feeling about this one.

Tiger so are you thinking you might stay?

HB that is so good of you, and I'm sure your friend will appreciate it. You sound like an amazing friend, and it will be all the sweeter when she is visiting you with your pub

chloe I can't remember, was your IVF on the nhs? If we manage to get any frosties then we get three years storage included, but we only get one round of IVF.

I seem to remember bushy saying that they get three rounds but no freezing included I think?

These dr drugs are addling my brain! What with that and the constant need to pee due to all the extra water drinking I can't wait for scan on Monday and then hopefully stimming a week today.

barking yes it is me that is looking to change jobs. I'm also realistic in that I've got 3 tests, a group exercise a presentation and a partner interview to get through for the one I'm keen on, and there aren't many opportunities out there at my level locally. I'd also be swapping good work / life balance for uk travel and longer hours....so I really need to give it some careful consideration. rp there's every chance I'll be there for a while longer yet so trying to make it work for me in the meantime. The difficulty is each job represents a compromise, I'm just not sure which one is more palatable....

chloe so you have to pay for the storage time too?

lumen not too much longer till you reach the next stage!

Thanks all again for your support. It would be a medicated FET but the problem with doing it with only one emby is that if anything happens in the thawing process there is not back up. Our first cycle was private and I have just worked out how much a second would cost (£7500 & £4500) respectively.

My best friend does know and we met up last week after I found out about the cp but there is a lot going on for her and so whilst being empathetic her head is in other places - I don't think that she would take it well if I didn't go. I will however post pictures of both!

I may be able to duck out of the baby shower next weekend as this friend is not as close and I also have another friend and her two boys over next weekend but I should be able to play the dutiful godmother (I must be off my rocker!)

Tiger I hope that the Christening is tolerable (god I sound like Mr Darcy!)

Happy to make anyone a blanket, to be honest it has been fairly therapeutic and has managed to help keep me focused (and for every tear that I have shed there is a stitch).

Hb I want to hug you, not least for being so bloody brave x

lumen and tiger No NHS for me, I live in Germany and went private. My insurance covers most of the costs but probably not the freezing. I think I'll just send them the invoice and give it a go! It's so unfair that the NHS is such a postcode lottery for IVF. Still I guess we're lucky compared to places like the USA where you have to pay for everything yourself.

lumen Good luck with your scan on Monday. Did you really say you can't wait to be dildocammed!?!? Don't worry, I know what you mean, I was always quite excited to see if I was making any progress too!

hb I Hope one day very very soon you can make yourself a blanket cross-stitched with happy tears

Welcome Serenity!

Barking that's really great! What a few days you've had. I really hope this works out for you.

So sorry that you're feeling down HB. What happened to you really sucked. To be teased with a bfp and then have it taken away so quickly is so unfair.

Oh for some reason my phone won't let me scroll back so I can't read any other posts. I'll post this and then read back...

Barking, congrats on the good news.

HB, you are very brave and I admire your calm. I am not sure I would be able to handle this. Your loving and thoughtful blanket making sounds great and I hope your friend appreciates it. When do you have to make decisions concerning the next step?

Bushy, well done on getting a scan date. Only 8 sleeps, right?

Tiger, good luck with the interview. I think it's a sound strategy to see whether you can progress at your current place, too. I hope you can find a compromise that works for you - even if it is probably as difficult finding out what that compromise is.

Chloe, when is your test date again? Did you have ET at the weekend?

Lumen, good luck for the next stage.

Serenity, welcome. The berries here are all wonderful people and they make me laugh about ttc which I really need at times. Wildflower, welcome back from holiday.

hb massive, massive hug to you. You've brought a tear to my eye. I think you're being hugely brave and hugely graceful in the face of a lot of shit. Your friends are lucky to have you.

hope everyone is ok today. Will catch up on thread tomorrow morning. Still wrapping up at work before having a week off (yes, seriously) and then need to head to wedding venue for a meeting.

for all

And bushy brilliant news on scan date. It's the day before mine. We're in this together!

Tiger your interview process sp

Bushy not seen either of those shows. I saw Secret Life of Babies was on but didn't fancy it.