The Berries: On knockerwatch, sniffing willies and clinging to the coat tails of the continued clusterdiff (thread 21)

[barkingtreefrog]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Aarf at lumen's comment to rp. Product testing pregnancy tests is a good idea, send a review in to Which? Magazine with your findings. [smiley face]

barking you are amazingly stoic. I'm filled with awe at how you are handling this while also on a residential.

After all your TTC trials and tribulations it must be galling to fear that defeat could now be snatched from the jaws of victory. All the uncertainty and waiting and hoping does your (my) head in. You must feel that all your efforts have just brought more of the same. But every step and misstep brings more knowledge about your body until one day you will have your answer.

Hang on in there until the test results.

I decided ages ago that we would get diffed immediately after the hycosy RainDrops . I tricked my mind into believing that. Now it's shag week and I'm mentally preparing myself for disappointment. Flipping TTC roller coaster.

LOL, hahaha!! At anyone who thinks 30 is some sort of cut off age for conception for anyone except the Duchess of Cambridge and her ilk. Ooh, hello Kirstie Allsop.

Sorry didn't get chance to drop in again yesterday ladies. Am just skimming quickly through.

Barking you are a brave berry. Are you going home this afternoon?

Bushy I had an inconclusive first scan. I should have been 6+3 but was measuring 5+1. I was so worried and spend a further 6 days sobbing. When I went for the second scan there had been 7 days of growth. I was measuring 6+1 and here was a heart beat. By my dates I should have been at least 7 weeks. The heart rate was slow so I was asked to go back the following week. I was lulled into a false sense of security and at the next scan mmc was identified. I of course don't know whether the slow growth was the problem or whether it had been a late implanter and the problem was my progesterone levels or the thrombophilia, of maybe something else! I guess that's not reassuring for you in any way, but just go let you knows experience.

Will defo call back later to read through properly.

Excuse typo's. On phone

Just got back to the youth hostel and all the kids are very noisily chilling out. DH is coming to get me in a couple of hours. Don't want to go home . I'd rather spend another day with my head in the sand being kept very busy instead of sitting in the house on my own waiting for the time I have to pick up the phone and face the truth.
bushy how are you doing today? Did they tell you when to go back?

btw feather from few days ago, re acupuncture. I am in nw currently and have a lovely lady, pm for details anyone, but will be moving to big sm

Christ. phone.

moving to London over summer so tips welcome.

hope you get some relief being with dh barking. we'll all be here with you for the results.

thanks to everyone for kind words. even Uber-sceptical oh realises how lovely you all are to me and what a difference it makes.

Ps (sorry. phone. cluster post)

as I said earlier kirsty a is not only over exposed - why should she get q say?- but also wildly ignorant. Hadley freeman had a good go at her on twitter too.

nolly send me a pm when you can and I'll pm you london acu lady's details. Also Allsop needs to shut the hell up about things she knows not of. Her saying that women should consider putting further education on hold to have babies really got my heckles up. Grr.

barking how you're ok. Has the bleeding stopped? Sending you everything I have in hope it all works out for you.

bushy how are you today?

Hi everyone else! How is everyone? funky so good to have you back.

I'm in wedding frenzy now. Wrapping up at work - tomorrow is my last day so all a bit mad. Excited and nervous and trying not to think about the you-know-what till after the wedding. It's all about me and Mr Feather this week. Does that sound cold? Hope not.

Very excited about your wedding feather, I enjoyed ours so much, I hope you and your fella have the best day of your lives

Thanks lumen! Just do a big sun dance for us between now and the please! Storms are forecast! Also, is lumen short for luminosity?

oh barking this is all so tough. There probably isn't anywhere you could go to escape all of this, but at least you'll be with dh tonight. Am hoping for you and sending positive vibes.

wildflower your holiday sounds lovely! We're off to Italy in September, and I can't wait!

nolly moving to London will be exciting! I miss it so much sometimes.

feather will do a little sundance for you! I really hope you have an amazing wedding! I think you are quite right - this weekend is about you and your soon to be dh.

Just watching springwatch and some beautiful baby foxes playing, so cute! Cheering me up somewhat as I seem to be stuck in a gloom that I can't shift. The next couple of weeks are going to be a bit of a nightmare - laparoscopy next week, and then this job interview which needs loads of prep including two online tests and a putting together a presentation.

Tigerdog, yes the little foxes on Springwatch were cute and so was the baby owl. But eighteen feeds a night for the baby owl!! Would it be wrong to mention that to parents of human babies when they say they are tired?

feather good luck with the manic in countdown to the wedding. Don't know how to do a sundance but will google it now.

Thanks nolly and tiger. Not sure DH is any help right now. He is in a completely foul mood (the obvious which he won't talk about plus work shit, dog being an arse and not having eaten properly all day). And I kind of wish I was still out of reception as I just had to return a call from my mother. After asking about theatre tickets she finally got round to asking about me. And then the subject went back to theatre tickets.

feather no bleeding today but I was led to believe the progesterone would prevent any bleeding anyway so it stopping doesn't give me any hope. Symptoms have all gone, nurse said it would take a miracle. I really don't see the point in hoping. Don't want to fall from a greater height than I'm already at.

Hope your wedding is amazing. I'm quite jealous you're still in the looking forward to it stage, I want to do mine all over again!!

Good Evening Berries.

Barking are you home with your feet up up now? How is the bleeding/spotting?

Bushy- How about yours? I forgot to add before in my last post about the early scan that I had bleeding/spotting for a few days and every day in the run up to the second scan (lasting 10 days in total). I only managed to get prescribed progesterone pessaries the day before the miscarriage diagnosis. The spotting instantly stopped. I know I'm a total progesterone junkie, but after this experience, in my heart I feel that if I had the pessaries sooner then the outcome may have been different. In my head I know of course that it may well not have been. I stupidly joined an antenatal thread on mumsnet, but a bonus of it was that I met a girl who was the same age as me, trying for number 1, with a previous miscarriage under her belt too. Our edd was the same. We chatted via pm on mumsnet for a week or so and then exchanged numbers. We message each other every day and have done for 8 months now! It's difficult sometimes as she is still pregnant and has the same due date as I should have had, but anyway the point of my long and unnecessary waffle is, she also had spotting the same as me. She had a private consultation and got progesterone a week at least earlier than I did. She never spotted again. I know each pregnancy is different and no answer to why my baby died will be known, but spotting can be threatened miscarriage and whilst pessaries can delay the inevitable there is also research to say that it can support the pregnancy. I feel that is why my friend is still pg and I am not.

Beaky, Tiger, I'm ok thank you! Beaky when will your IUI be underway? Tiger don't lose heart! We will all achieve our goal in the end! we best had do anyway!

Sorry that you are struggling this month Nolly. Is your luteal phase usually pretty static?

Ooooo Feather, your wedding is so soon! Honeymoon? I haven't been anywhere have I?! Just crap at posting sometimes!

Rosie yummy baking. You'll have to bring some to Berry HQ's Friday night party. We haven't had one in a while. Though maybe we should put it on hold while there are a couple of limbo berries.

Sorry Barking. Cross post. Yes you're right about the progesterone. It may well stop bleeding that would otherwise be there. Is it tomorrow you are going back? Morning?

Sorry that DH is being unhelpful. TTTC is a testing time for any couple, let alone with this going on

I'll there at 7.30am as bloody usual to queue outside for the first appointment at 8am. Results line will be open from 1.30.

I really thought progesterone pessaries would help me funky, solve the issues caused by my crap lp. Seems not. I'd rather mc now than have it masked though.

Good luck for tomorrow barking

Enjoy the last run-up to the wedding feather. It's probably the only time in your life when you will both have all the people you love the most around you, so enjoy every second. I want to get married again, it's such a truly special thing. And I hope you have followed Kirsty Allsop's advice and not spent too much money on a boring day Hope you have a great day, it will be amazing!

So I had to go and check out KA's ramblings today and OMG. What a patronising idiot. Why does starting a family have to be at the expense of getting an education, they're not mutually exclusive. Why should we make a sacrifice when men don't have this issue? Surely what is needed is a change in society where the work environment makes it easier to combine a career with family life. She makes it sound like all women want to have a baby from the second they hit puberty but we just need to find a man willing to updiff us. I guess it's my own fault for being infertile because I didn't feel ready to have a baby until my 30s. Aaarrgh. Sorry rant over.

Oh god, barking that is so tough. I guess you just have to keep that faint flame of hope alive until you can't anymore. Can you distract yourself tonight?

Feather you enjoy your wedding! I loved mine. We got married in Plymouth registry office in jeans but I still had to hold back tears.

Tiger you'll get through it on adrenaline. And then collapse and probably get a horrid cold, if you're anything like me. But you will pull it out of the bag! Can you do as much prep as poss beforehand so you aren't under such pressure after the lap?

Today was a good day No massive cramping, didn't feel so tired. Temp still elevated. So at least I know I can make a baby and carry it to 5+1. That is something.........

Sweet Christ on stilts, did someone say Kirstie Fucking Allsop? Ragetastic!

Yes I get the point that we should discuss what 'having it all' means but the way to do that is not pulling bright young women out of higher ed! Has she seen the state of the jobs market? Does she have any fucking clue what it will be like for these women trying to catch up on building a career in their 30s or 40s when all the men other people are all starting younger?

Oh and yes, because of course this should mean compromising young women! Men can do what they like, because after all making babies is a women's issue.

Stay hopeful Batking (just unintentionally put Batking instead of Barking, so it therefore must be true that you are indeed a superhero).

RP there is nothing wrong with using all manner of preggo tests that you can get your hands on. I did them daily and made a collage of them. Neatly selloptaped to some A4 paper with 'DPO' written underneath each one. This is normal behaviour for any in sane woman.

Funky I have only done 2 FRER, 1 clear blue Digi, 2 Morrisons basics and an IC. Nothing wrong with that!

Glad you're feeling ok today rp. tiger a busy time for you up coming! you will be able to do interview prep/revision after your lap as it's quite stationary. I found the day and day after it paid to have everything close to hand in my base (the sofa) to avoid extra bending forward.

Nobody has rang with a date for my next scan even though they said they'd ring Monday arvo, now I'm thinking have they got my mobile no wrong, although the amount of times they had to ring me Back last week they should flipping know it!!

Feeling more twinges and almost a kind of hot feeling in my abdomen. It's really swollen and gets bigger by the end of the day, lots of my clothes are tight so am onto my baggiest trousers and even they're a little tight! Tmi alert. Had the shits today also but think it was due to rich birthday meal for dad's birthday. Said no to wine and was Sauvignon blanc, my favourite!!

One of the parents asked my ta was I pregnant today!! I had to laugh when my ta told me and said maybe I should wear something different if that's the case!! There's a job being advertised at ours and they've put 2 & 2 together and got 6 thinking it's because of maternity. I did actually think afterward that it was a bit of a cheeky question, because if I was properly and haven't said anything am I going to tell them?? Puts you on the spit. I did think recently if this carried on when would I tell people. I know some do after 12 weeks but then it may feel better to wait longer and keep it safer and quieter. Anyone ever thought about this, I suppose the other thing is when you start showing and can't hide it anymore. If things do progress got the feeling I will blow up.

funky so sorry to hear things didn't pan out for you, nice to have made a friend but difficult at the same time.

Can I join in?
ttc 18 months
Had the fibroids and ovarian cyst removed and tubes unblocked. Have low progesterone and egg count. Don't ovulate regularly. No other issues. Really run down. Stressed to the eyeballs. DH is fine. Meh.
Had 3 rounds of clomid which did nothing but make me fat and a bitch.

Hi, Serenity - I despised clomid too. It made me feel rough and I had ridiculously high progesterone levels afterwards. Should never have been on it though as bloods tended to suggest I was ovulating.

Do you know what your next step is? Iui? Straight to IVF? Something else?