Going Clucking mental? Old birds gather round.....

[Gingerbreadlady1]

A thread for the older ttc'er. Join us in the chicken coop for support, advice or just somewhere to rant.

Here's the old thread for those wanting to do serious lurking:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1978730-Old-birds-wanna-join-the-coop?msgid=47008448#47008448

Fx tilly

Hello peeps...

Welcome back ginger! When you say "a bit of colour", do you mean an embryonic suntan, or the traditional Celtic Magenta?

Well, AF has arrived today....on CD43! So much for my normally regular cycles....I guess it's a good thing that this was the cycle I started charting, as at least I've been able to gauge what's been going on to some extent....Basically, delayed ovulation I think. Should any charting geeks be interested in taking a look, here's my chart:

www.tcoyf.com/members/crackofdoom/charts/3.aspx

I think I ovulated on day 28. It's been pretty horrible- symptoms left, right and centre, I've been convinced I was PG several times- had a couple of BFNs- because you can really only see a pattern to what's going on in retrospect. I'm almost glad that AF has turned up- and I have learned several things- not least that I seem to have a nice healthy 14 day LP, so hurrah for that!

Also, I had quite a big bust up with DP last night, and he stormed off home, driving over the limit, so thank goodness he didn't have a crash or get caught (small country lanes, mercifully). Funnily enough, it was over my charting- he didn't bother asking me why I was doing what I was doing- just Googled it and then started telling me I was doing it all wrong. You can imagine how well that went down

According to my Take Charge of Your Fertility calendar, we have about 9 days to make up in before I start getting fertile ...

BTW any geeks, to see the actual chart referred to, you have to select no.2 in the drop down menu at the top of the page.

Hi stubborn
Your cycles sound like mine were. Have you been back to GP for blood tests? Progesterone, LH, FSH and prolactin and another one oestrogen I think. I went a year and a half ago and was told all was "normal" then started temping and noticed v late ov. Went back 7 months ago (wish I'd gone earlier) and they found out I was having anovulatory cycles and prescribed Clomid. They'd tested me on a 'good' cycle. If I hadn't gone back for another test I would never have known I wasn't ovulating every month.

Clomid regulated my cycle to 28 days with ov at day 14. I got a BFP after 3 months on it (resulted in mmc). You may already have been back sorry if I missed that.

Ps can't see your chart as says 'don't have permission'.

Oh poo, I shall have to change permissions.

I don't know Annie- I've had one set of bloods taken and apparently everything was "normal" (but I might ask for a print out to pore over) at the CD3 test, but my 7DPO test for progesterone was "slightly low", so I'm going to try and pinpoint ovulation this month, and then go back for another one.

That's something I've found out in my obsessive Googling this month- that your blood tests are only as good as the cycle you're tested in!

By the way, another day, another PG announcement from an over-40 of my acquaintance! (actually, I've known she was PG for a while, but only found out her (approximate) age today- nosey nosey!)

Exactly Stubborn. It took someone else saying it to make me go again. I would never have thought about re-testing. I suppose when you're told everything is normal you're happy with that and believe it.

My progesterone was 2.0 ( I think, was v low anyway) the second time I went and that's when I was referred to OB/Gyn.

Like I said I WISH I'd gone earlier to get re-tested.

Same goes for sperm tests. Results are as good as the time you test. DH thinks he's off the hook with smoking and drinking because he's been once and sperm was "normal" but he's got to get tested again in a few weeks so he's cut back a lot. It will be reassuring to know if it's "normal" again.

My cousin just had her first at 45 and have a friend who just announced first at 44...

Hiya stubborn, thankfully i managed to avoid Celtic magenta (b&q should use that for a paint name) mostly....I'm intrigued, did you & dp fall out over your charting technique? Wish my dp was that interested. I've noticed the last few months that we have a massive argument just as I'm ovulating, it must be my hormones. Not conducive to sexy time when all I want to do is sulk or inflict bodily harm.

Liking the plus 40 preg stories, it needs to be one of us lot next!

annie confusing talking to you over 2 threads lol. It'll be reassuring when you get your results back. What's happening with ivf? We received our apt for acu @gri for 22nd July. Not sure what wait will be or if they want to start with iui first. Also letter from fc. When finished with clomid (this month) they're gonna medicate to sort out my prolactin issue. Phew, all go here, which is great!

Hi girls just checking in. How are you all?

Wow that was a long cycle stubborn, have you had cycles that long before?

Not much to report from me, I had a bit of a moment last Saturday as I would've been 12 weeks and announcing it to everyone. I felt v angry with the world too, not a good place to be.

Feeling better this week and think I'm about to ovulate as I feel twingy and lots of EWCM (sorry TMI)

5 weeks until holiday cannot wait! X

Sorry about the crap moment tranquility.....hope your body and soul are mending well...

This is the very first long cycle I've ever had- hopefully the last, too! it's not the start of the perimenopause, it's not. I really wonder, though, if the aftermath of the last time I was on the Pill could possibly be having any effect? I was only on it for 6 months- from Jan-Aug last year. So I'll have been off it for 10 months now.

DP and I occasionally have really awful arguments about anything ginger. This one just particularly made me flare up because it was a v. sensitive subject, but the issue is more how we argue, and not being able to bring arguments to a fruitful conclusion. He's coming round today, which is going to be no use re: talking until DS goes to bed.....

Also, great news on the action front ginger! Great to have the specialists on board.

Hope you get it resolved stubborn. I'm beginning to worry about the strain ttc is putting on us. We couldn't dtd this month after positive opk as dp suffered performance anxiety. And it's killed off our sex life generally. After a bit of on line research I think this apt at acu is just to get on waiting list, gutted doesn't come close! . Was up to 3am researching ivf abroad. Can't take another 2 yrs of this.

Dogus, serum & invicta looking interesting.

Hope you get your pos opk tranquility x

Hi everyone!

New job is going well thanks Ginger, it's taking my mind off ttc which can only be a good thing :) I obsessively google too! I spend half the time looking for information and the other half trying to find reassurance and then I get upset when I read the age v fertility stats and I don't know why, they're the same every time I read them. How are you making a decision on whether to go for IUI or IVF? I'm in the same position and I don't know what to do. I keep delaying making a decision in the hope I'm going to fall pregnant naturally and won't have to spend all that money.

I'm loving the older pregnancy stories :) I was really pleased to see that actress Claire Sweeney has announced she's pregnant and she's 43 almost 44!

Stubborn Have you made up with DP yet? Are you both quite strong willed? I'm in the same boat as you and Ginger for some reason my DP always seems to be working stupid hours and/or stressed over work when it's those crucial few days and he either doesn't get home until really late or he's too tired/stressed and nothing can get him in the mood so our chances of baby making are zilch, which normally results in an argument and then tears from me. I can't work out whether it's just those few days we have this problem or we have this issue at other times of the month but I just don't notice it because I'm not so desperate to have sex :) Some months I haven't let on when we 'need' to do it and other months he's told me he wants to know but then when he does know he feels under pressure.

Annie My DP has the same attitude as yours towards the sperm test. He had a test about 7 months ago and because it came back really good he's convinced it would still be really good regardless of what he eats/drinks. Btw my fertility consultant said anovulatory cycles are 'normal' as we get older. On average women aged 30 ovulate 11/12 times a year, aged 35 on average 9/10 times and aged 40 on average 7 times. Obviously everyone is different and they're just averages.

Tranquility Sending you a hug for your 12 weeks mark x

Tilly Your tattoo is a lovely way to keep the memory.

Lifehas Any news on AF?

KEGirl Your cake is amazing!!

I'm on CD24, I'm not symptom spotting but.... I have sore boobs, feel sick on and off, have a queasy stomach every time I eat (this was my first symptom last time) and I'm off chocolate - this never ever happens! I don't why I torture myself looking for signs :)

oops Fankle and Mampam I almost left you off! :) Good to hear all is well with you both.

Hey girls, just coming home from a lovely day out in Cambridge with my boys.

Im cd9 and shoeing no signs of an oestrogen rise at all. CBFM reading low and no signs of any EWCM - I normal ovulate on cd13 and get EWCM for about five days, so this isn't normal for me.

I'm hoping my monitor picks up a High tomorrow but bit hugely hopeful.

Not hugely hopeful.

Hah! We're cycle buds again inshock, I'm cd22. Obviously not hopeful this month. Decided against iui as from what I can see it doesn't help those who have had regular sex with no issues with sperm (gcrm website) who haven't had a bfp. Plus just so fed up would rather use money towards ivf as think that'll be our best bet. Time to bring out the big guns! Going to wait for apt at acu, find out what's what there & then make a decision. So that'll be end July. Just fed up with the stress, hassle, pressure etc. plus we're unexplained & feel like there must be something wrong as only 1 very early chem preg in 2 yrs!

You might just have a slightly longer cycle this month sebsm fx you see that high.

Totally understand Ginger we're in the same boat, unexplained, all our tests have come back normal, I can't believe how frustrating it is. Maybe we'll be IVF buddies soon :)

Hi Sebs stay positive it's early days.

Maybe, annie too. Be good if we do it togther, I'm dreading my evening, dinner with 2 friends, both mums, one of which had her baby few months ago & has nothing else to talk about. She also just got engaged so it'll be all babies & weddings. Shoot me know. Please.

Shoot me now rather. Honestly, I can spell, kinda

lol I went to lunch with a bunch of 20 somethings this week and their only conversation was getting married and what age they want to have babies....I tolerated it for so long before telling them everyone I know who's been with the same partner since their late teens/early 20's is now divorced. I couldn't help myself. It would be great if we all sync with the ivf too :)

Lol! Brilliant! Id prob have done similar. This is the really insensitive friend I've mentioned on earlier posts. We were going thru it together when she got preg (at 39) & became all "you just need to get trying" wtf!!! She also went on at the other friend (behind her back) being a baby bore & said "I will NEVER become like that", she's worse! So much so I've un-followed her on fb recently. Dreading getting drunk & saying something I can't take back...it's her belated 40th meal.

Have you done any research? Any thoughts on ivf/iui? Be great if we do do it together. I'd be so up for meeting up with people from here on but we live so far apart. I'm struggling with morale.

Hi Ladies

What a mixed bag we're having ATM. Been away with work for most of the week, had hormone bloods done before I went. Dh has his appointment this week, then all we can do is wait.

Hope everyone keeps positive. it will happen at some point for us. Mil keeps pestering us!

Hello my lovelies! DP and I have mostly made it up- well, we have really, but he did have to go home last night due to a lot of work on but hey, that doesn't matter, it's not the fertile time of my cycle.

I was fretting about the age statistics (again) and came across this comment on the Taking Charge of Your Fertility forums that put it a bit into perspective:

"I'm a research scientist who uses probability stats in my data analyses. Probability stats like the ones posted above usually reflect population-wide averages; the don't tell you where YOU are chance-wise. For instance, at age 40 the population-wide rate of conception may be 50%, but that includes all the 40-year-olds who don't ovulate, those who use substances, those who don't chart and know nothing about when they are most fertile, etc. In fact, the chance they give you is a mean chance level, meaning it's centrally located in a normal curve of chance rates: 40-year-olds who have hit menopause already have zero chance, whereas 40-year-olds who are still ovulating and produce tons of EWCM and know exactly when ovulation occurs and have all the other characteristics of highly fertile people are going to have a much higher chance! So on average 40-year-olds might have a 50% chance, but that doesn't mean YOU have a 50% chance if you're 40. This isn't to say that you can override nature if your body truly isn't fertile, but doing all the stuff we do to maximize our fertility certainly isn't going to LOWER our chances either. So I say, keep at it! (38 here, and clinging to my optimism.) [f]"

By the way, I had to run a search history on this poster to track this comment that I read yesterday down again, and nowadays she's mostly pondering vaginal vs. Caesarean and where the best place to have her baby might be