TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :) new thread!!

[m33r]

Hopefully we'll see more BFPs on this one!

Thank you m33r. Massive luck for the laparoscopy. Keep us posted and have a few treats planned for after xxx

It's a funny one - hoping there is something wrong that can be 'fixed' but at the same time not wanting ther to be anything wrong jesse Hope you get some answers/reassurance from the results.

Good luck with the lap m33r

Having seen the GP on Tuesday last week to get the fc referral done, received a form to complete with letter saying apt should be 12 weeks from when they receive the form back. Will post tomorrow. I am considering a private internal scan as I am convinced my extremely light AF post mc#2 are the issue. I have freaked myself out consulting dr google and not sure if I can face a 12 week wait - I will be over 40 by then....

Good luck with your lap m33r.

Can I ask you more about fertility treatment please? When you get referred what happens and in what order? How long do things take? M33r, do you definitely know you are having ivf? What criteria did you have to have? How many cycles can you get on the nhs? From much Googling and it seems that my nhs centre only gives you one free cycle. I'm cacking myself. Looked up private and they do a special 'package deal' for £8,999 not including drugs! NOT including drugs! Oh my god! There is no way we can do that! So that's it. One shot at ivf and if it doesn't work, a lifetime of childlessness! I feel as if I'm falling slowly and painfully apart at the seams! I feel like hiding away from the world and I don't know how I'm even going through the motions of living at the moment. I'm due to go out for dinner with mates tonight. Mates that don't know. How am I meant to laugh and joke and enjoy myself when I'm dying inside. I'm thinking of canceling.

I'm ok when I'm at work, but I'm off work today as I've hurt my hand gardening at the weekend. Have the doctors this afternoon about my hand. Hopfully I can go back to work tomorrow so I don't have to sit in front of the tv googling infertility. Got our 'proper' GP appointment Friday with dh. Calling it D day. Hope I don't break down there. Need to keep my head. Must stay strong!

Vic I am so sorry that you are struggling. I cannot comment on your individual trust, as each varies. But yes it may be one, 2 or 3 rounds of IVF/ICSI.
I think the best advice anyone could give you is to take each day at a time and each appointment at a time. Trying to think of this as a whole is soul destroying, and stressful and life seems so unfair.
My close family member who has been through all of this (2 DC) states that she always had her eyes on the prize. She had 4 rounds before her first gorgeous baby came along, but she felt determined not to give up hope. She had 2 nhs in her trust, then had to move privately and she "found the money".
Usually, once all the investigations that they deem necessary are out of the way, you get put on the ivf waiting list for your area. Mine is currently 2 years from when you get put on (but that is particularly bad). My family member only had to wait 8weeks from when she was put on x
Overall, huge variability, but like I said, take one appointment at a time
X

vic I'm at work now and have a meeting but didn't want to leave you hanging. I will get back you on my lunch hour. In the meantime, put google DOWN! Get something on tele that you like - friends or satc are my choices! - and I'll be back with details in two hours.

Thinking of you x

Cross post with jess but I'll be back soon anyway. X

I don't think its fair that there is a postcode lottery for treatment. It should be one thing country wide. I've spent 13 years working for the NHS in my city but now I'm just going to resent it. NICE guidelines say 3 tries, all Trusts should give 3 tries. NICE guidelines should be NICE laws.

Vic I know its hard but try and stay calm. while you are waiting for m33r here is my experience since referral so far...
we had call with 2nd SA results from Dr on 6th March. should told us it could take 4weeks to hear about referral. we got a call about 3 weeks later and were booked in for first app with snr nurse on 1st April. I was booked in for first ultrasound on 8th April. had to have another on 14th as I wasn't close enough to ovulating. if they had had an app I could have booked hsg for 3rd April but they were full. I couldn't book in for next cycle as we were on hol so I am currently waiting for AF (due today or tomorrow) to phone and book hsg for around 12th June. I've been told it will be an 8wk wait to see consultant after that.

no one has mentioned dhs results really, and they haven't mentioned what the ivf waiting list is like or how many goes we get. that sort of thing will be what is discussed at consultant appointment I assume.

word of warning though. when I got the call for the first app I was offered 3clinics in my county. its worth researching all the clinics to see which one is best/if any give you more goes. then you can be prepared when you get the call. you could ask Dr about it but from my experience they know very little beyond the referral. I hope that helps a little.

jesse glad you us went OK. and glad you had a nicer nurse than I did first time around!

I've just found this website where you can find clinics and get info. link

apparently my clinic has no ivf waiting list....I don't believe that as they told me they are busy and understaffed! but at least it gives other info. like it says NHS will fund 4iui cycles, but ivf is patient dependent. I'm hoping that means as we are young and healthy well get more than one go but who knows!

Vic put in your postcode and see what clinics come up and see if they differ on number of goes.

Afternoon Ladies,

Holly Google isnt very helpful with making any one feel better, maybe going private might be quicker.

Vicky I wish I could make you feel better and that I could tell you everything is going to be alright. Its incredibly hard but try and focus on the positives...you and you dh have each other, you have family and friends who love you, there is still a chance to get pregnant with ivf etc and there are a lot of positive stories about people that ivf has helped.
Its not over yet hun honestly, take it one day at a time and we are all here for you xxx

CD 13 today and im trying very hard not to get my hopes up that my bodies trying its best to ovulate. even though I have various ovulation symptoms

I hope everyone is doing ok, im stuck at work and can not wait to finish.

Hi again. Think most of this is now covered but for what it's worth...

I went to doc and told them I'd be trying for one year - was more like minths really - and she have me 21 day test which was three days later. DH sa was right after that and repeated in two weeks (others it's three minths).

Our doc put us the queue from the first day I arrived there before any results or tests had even started. This got the ball rolling (and meant I have caught up with my friend in RL who has been trying for 6months longer). My specialist appt came in three minths later at which they scanned my ovaries. At this point I was told:

I could get and hsg but waiting list for six minths

Or

I could get laparoscopy with a waiting list of three months but obviously lap is more invasive.

And

Regardless if the outcome of these tests eg you're tubes are fine or your tubes are mangled - that we were in a queue of about 18minths from point of first specialist appt. this is because if the results come back fine, then I'm unexplained and therefore up for ivf; if they're not fine, the way they by pass tubes is ivf.

I have since heard (again friend in RL) that they are six minths ahead of schedule and therefore I could be in soon. I should add that I lived 2miles away, my wait would have been 12 minths. The reason they are hammering through the list is that rules have changed re smoking and bmi which means people are being removed from the list (I'm in Scotland).

I think I am entitled I two rounds on nhs but cann't remember where or why i think that.

Fwiw, DH and I have sort if thought that if the two attempts fail, we won't pay. It's costs about £5000 here from what I gather.

Hang in there vic. I know it is so miserable and hard but I spoke to one woman who had an awful journey (4yrs or cr*p) and she said to me that she just wishes she could get the last four years of her life back. She had a 6mth old from ivf at the time. I try to think positive and say: my baby will be here in two years so I need to live my non-baby life now. It's sometimes hard to convince myself of this but I figure if I knew for sure a baby would be here in two years I'd calm down and live well in the interim ... And so wouldn't wish for four years back.

Hope you are feeling a bit better and this helps. Feel free to ask anything too: we're all here to share.

Apologies for multiple typos and non-sensical sentences: am on phone and rushing. Hopefully you get the jist!

Thanks for being great guys. I'm so glad I have you to turn to when feeling rubbish. I know I'm not the only person here who is going through all this crap, we are all in the same horrible boat. I just hope this boat stays afloat! And of course, reaches land at the end of this journey! Its just a bit of a rough sea at the moment.

Hugs to you all x

Oh Vic I feel your pain with google and boredom...you should try night where I work! Tbh I havn't massively looked into waiting lists etc for our area because fertility treatment is not something I personally believe should be available on the NHS (please don't kill me - I don't blame anyone for taking it!!) and so dh and I have agreed we will prob go private if/when it comes to it. All I can say on the cost front is if you start saving now you'll either have a chunk to put towards extra cycles if you need it or a nice nest egg to buy your baby loads of nice things if you get lucky on the NHS postcode lottery!! It is shit that it's a lottery though...it should be the same for everyone. I think when I looked it was more like £5000-£6000 but it was only a quick nose. Surely there is more than one clinic near you?

Dh counselling is falling WAY outside NICE guidelines at the moment so understand how frustrating it is to be on the crap end of it.

I've been looking into my clinic a bit more ...Vic had me reaching for Dr Google!....and its £2850 for an ivf cycle + about £1000 for meds here. that's the bare bones one, it obv gets more expensive if other bits an pieces have to be tagged on and I can't tell if you'd have to pay extra for consultant appointments. dh and I will try ivf at least once on top of NHS allowance if it comes to it. beyond that I darent think about it.

hope you are feeling better Vic.

The price I quoted was their package of 3 cycles, there was no costing listed for 1 session. It looks like icsi is more than normal ivf anyway. All I can seem to find out, including off that web link lil, was that it is a postcode lottery in England and also case dependant. It doesn't look good for over 35's either, which I prob will be by the time it comes around.

To be honest MB, I felt the same about fertility treatment on the NHS a few years back. When that money can be spent on cancer or something. The same with boob jobs etc. Now obviously I see parenthood as a right and I should get it!

Had a random cry earlier because I bought the wrong size wrist support from the chemist. Dh couldn't see what I was crying about but he doesn't know how upset I have been all day and that just put the icing on the cake. I wouldn't normally cry over buying the wrong size! Honest!

Ha Vic I do but normally cus I buy something in the sale, get home and it doesn't fit so have a I'm hideous cry lol. On the pLUS side dh and I joined slimming world last night. Going to change the way we eat to give us the absolute best chance. Feeling positive today :-) although af will prob show her face tomorrow and it'll be all tears again

vic hope you're feeling better today?

My lap is tomorrow so just wishing today away. tomorrow I'll know a little bit more about what's going on...

Hey all,

Sorry for being quiet, I've been enjoying and wishing away my month off! AF arrived yesterday, yeay!! (First and only time I have been pleased to see her arrival!) so means can get cracking again soon.

M33r, just wanted to wish you all the best for your lap tmrw, hope it goes well, thinking of you.

There's been too much going on since I was last on to comment on things individually but it's lovely to see everyone being so supportive, we'll get there ladies, we really will.
M33r is completely right about living our 'non-baby' lives to the fullest as best we can, not always the easiest thing to do, but so important, it's what I'm focusing on, every time I do something that I won't be able to do with a baby I make myself enjoy it all the more, might only be little things like going to the cinema, or having a drink, or a spontaneous night away, but I am determined to enjoy them all whilst I can!

All I can say is BIG hugs to you all xxxx I've been keeping up to date with the posts, and trying to stay positive myself.
Victoria, be kind to yourself and spoil yourself xxxx

Thanks one. I have another work meeting then playing sport tonight then home for bed. Should get the day in. Before I know it will be 8am tomorrow morning and it'll just be a case of waiting to see... Cross everything there is a teensy tiny problem whoch they identify, fix while in there and send us home make our baby! X

Love your positive thinking m33r I really hope that turns out to be the case.

I realised this morning that the form I sent of to the fc yesterday was incomplete as I could remember when my last smear was and was going to check but forgot - sigh! I am hoping this won't mean them sending it back for completion before we get an apt. Surely that can access my records and check for themselves.
I was hoping havong done the referral would allow me to relax and go with the flow but it has just made me more anxious

good luck tomorrow m33r

Good luck tomorrow m33r

No sign of af yet, keep getting my hopes up then thinking don't be silly. 29 days is unusual but not unheard of for me. Tomorrow is 14 dpo but have no idea when I normally ov as only just started using cbfm

Evening ladies

Good luck for tomorrow m33r

holly hopefully the form won't matter to much

one it is weird being happy when af arrives but sometimes its nice to have a new start!

Had another letter from gynae about appointment today looks like they will do a vaginal ultrasound etc while im there. Little bit worried to be honest only a couple of weeks and I might know what's wrong which sounds silly I know. Im always thinking the worst.

Hope every one is ok