The Berries: The one where The Berries cease to exist after a spate of waxy knicks and a'hem seepage (thread 20)

[funkymonk]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

Arr hb that's so shit. It's a total headfuck and nightmare all the waiting and the initial excitement that turns into worry and uncertainty. I'm so sorry it hasn't worked for you, I was really, really hoping. At least now you know for sure. X x x

tiger and happy hope hangovers have truly gone. The anal comment made me laugh!

barking grrr to your friend and what an ungrateful so and so with your lovely teddy. I would love it if someone gave me something like that, I think it shows real love and care. Totally second what gilster said about stopping this pimping- it's way too early, you're only going to wind yourself up, possibly get false readings which will wind you up further. Even waiting till OTD date doesn't seem to get a clear definitive answer and it seems waiting til a week + after seems to give a clearer answer with no danger of hsg or uncertainty. I know it's a nightmare but waiting will get a better result and also keep things clearer for you and your lovely dh.

Oooh rp is it beer o clock or have you peed on a stick? Would be lovely to have a berry bfp.

I had a lovely w/e with all pg tests left safely at home. We went cycling and my bike is rather shit, doesn't have many gears so when faced with a hill I had to eventually get off and walk!! Got rather out of breath and bit warm. Thought uh oh, not really meant to be getting sweaty but dh thinks it'll have done me good to get the blood pumping. The bleeding had stopped but noticed bit more brown after cycling but went cycling again on 2nd day and was fine, even though there was a bit of a hill. I just haven't done any exercise, including yoga since all this treatment started. Actually felt so nice to be out in the countryside. I even had a little bit of alcohol. Was a bit like running the gauntlet trying to dodge it though!! I took some low alcohol beer that I like and had a quarter of one of those got my dh to have the rest, then my friend had prosecco so filled my glass. I sipped it v slowly and ate a shit load, she tried to refill it(was still mostly full) and was like come on. My original plan was to chuck my drink on the grass when no one was looking but we were inside an awning so couldn't, so took my glass to the loo and chucked it in the bush! I then got offered cider! Gave it to dh to drink up, who didn't quite pick up on the hint to drink it for me!! Tbh it was nice to have a little drink but don't worry, I won't make it a habit!!

Tested today when got back home and is a positive. Think will phone clinic where I had ec and et and try to speak to a doctor and maybe see about the epu advice, although I've no idea if we even have one round here. I just really want to know what that 'thing' was and also there was a lot of bleeding. Basically spotted and bled for a week and bit more spotting this w/e, seems to have stopped now fingers crossed. So trying to not worry and chill out. Got a massage and facial tom and will mention that I am... Pg.. Feel like I can't believe it and not real.

Just popped over for stealth stalking bushy All sounding positive at the moment!

Bushy good for you! Sounds like a good weekend. You know, stop me if this is way too obvious, but your clinic don't sound super-helpful, eh? What about googling your nearest hospital name + early pregnancy unit to see if they have an EPU? I think most decent sized hospitals will! You could then ring them direct to see if they could do bloods or offer advice? I don't know if you need a referral to an EPU but I'd assume if you are pg you can just go?

I haven't poas'd as no test and been our utility room painting all day. It's taken 3 days of work including skimming the ceiling, hacking all old paint off, under coats + two top coats.... My arms are killing me! But it is lovely and pure white now. However no time to go to shops so no test.

I feel quite AF ish and I cannot bear the bfn :( it always makes me feel so stupid, like who was I kidding, buying a test like it might actually happen. I might have a beer tonight anyhow as I am fairly sure game is up this time.

Can I just post a selfish mini-rant?? DH jizz analysis will be back at the GP on Monday, and he doesn't want to know the numbers . He is just planning on ringing GP reception to find out "if it was okay or not".

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH.

rp my reaction to that would be to say that's fine as long as he's prepared to do everything that he would need to do in the event of the numbers being just 'ok' rather than 'excellent', ie healthy diet, minimal alcohol, vitamins etc. Then it's irrelevant what the numbers are as he's doing everything he can anyway. If he's not prepared to 'prove' it's all as good as it can be so he doesn't need to quit alcohol etc, that's the only other option .

bushy sounds good, I still think you need to demand a blood test! Why all the alcohol drama? Can you not just tell friends you're on a detox? I've been not drinking on and off all the way through the last 2.5 years, my friends know I'm ttc so they don't bat an eyelid, no-one has ever assumed I'm pg as they know I'm just trying to be as healthy as possible for the ttc and not wanting to drink in case I am.

bushy & gillster calm down! I'm not pimping at 7dpo to look for a bfp, I was looking for a post trigger baseline bfn!! I have no plans to continue pimping this early!
Err, other than at 13dpo, the reason being that I leave for my school residential on 14dpo and won't see DH for 3 days, so if there's anything to see I want to know beforehand.

sounds like a good weekend bushy. You do need to get some answers from your clinic though - they don't seem to be very hands on! Will they do bloods?

rp even if he doesn't want the numbers, tell him to ask for a copy of the results to be emailed/left at reception. I think Barking is right, you need to know if improvements can be made.

beaky know how you feel. Some friends are trying for their second already and we don't even have one!

barking you're half way there! Everything crossed for you.

Really can't be bothered to do work now...sigh. Luckily I have some chocolate to get me through!

Well we have a satellite clinic ( the ones that haven't been so helpful but my usual nurse who is on leave is great, think they're a bit understaffed) and a bigger clinic further away,where all the big things were done. I was thinking if ringing the bigger one. Thanks for the advice on epu's. Will check it out.

Yeah the alcohol one is a funny one, whenever we get together with friends we do tend to have a few drinks. The last time I was with these friends I got adjective straight up are you still drinking or... So they would sort if think something was up. It is a bit daft really. I did say to my friend I am trying to be healthier to help ttc so hence not drinkng a lot. I'm going to a party this week and my friend I'd trying to waggle lifts for us so we can drink wine, think I will wheel out antibiotics excuse.

Ooh rp well done on all the painting! sounds like you are a DIY goddess. Have a beer but fingers crossed for you. Dh's are a funny lot aren't they. I think their sense of manliness can be hurt by all of this. Could you say it would be helpful to know the numbers as when they improve you can compare and feel better.

HB I'm so so sorry it wasn't sticky, big hugs for you. Why do our bodies play such cruel tricks on us?

barking I think I'd have done the same in your shoes - very organised! Hope the next week goes quickly and you get the opposite result next time.

beaky I am so far behind in my family too, luckily my siblings are a fair bit older than me so it doesn't really bother me and I am pretty sure they've finished their baby-making days now. Glad you had a good time.

happy and tiger'hope your hangovers are gone now! I stupidly over indulged in gin last night despite having the cold from hell (thanks easyjet) and feel super shitty today. Idiot!

rp I am crossing everything for you but I know exactly what you mean about feeling foolish for getting your hopes up when it shows up, so let us do that bit for you.

bushy you're being so sensible, I don't know how you do it! I'd definitely seek out an EPU if you have one nearby, they are generally very good in terms of walk-ins and so could be much quicker than waiting for your clinic.

CD8 here so not much happening. TMI alert - I have found a small, hard white spot thing just inside one of the outer..... flaps (nolly come and hold my hand please) and it's sore to touch! I think it's just a blocked pore or something but it's positioned perfectly to get in the way of shag week ( friction - owwwwww). Advice?!?

Ooh rain sounds sore! expect it's just a blocked follicle, hope it gets better! Well I'm learning at being sensible, the first w/e I got the original bfp before all the bleeding I scared myself a bit with all the googling so trying to take it bit by bit and stay calm.

Got offered gin on our w/e away too, think I offended my host saying I didn't like that brand!!

Now I know you're talking about a hair follicle, bushy, and I agree with your diagnosis, but I can't think of follicles in a non ttc context at the moment, and my initial thought was confusion about a) how a follicle could be 'blocked' and b) why it would cause a white spot on the outside of the body!

Rain could it be a Bartholin's cyst?

Having a beer, local 7-11 shop doesn't sell pg tests and I can feel AF brewing so fuck it.

Nope DH isn't bothered about knowing numbers or doing any "woo stuff" such as taking vitamins. I have exhausted rational argumentation and may now fall back on my ultimate weapon of looking a bit teary and going to bed on my own.

So sorry hb. What a cruel way for it pan out. Hope.you have some.nice.things planned for the week?

Hi everyone else! On.phone so.will catch up later
. Been on.epic cycle woo.

hb so sorry this cycle has not worked for you, we all put everything in to ttc and it is so hard when it doesn't happen.

bushy you are still my IVF 'teacher' as I aim to emirate your calmness and sensible head. I hope your FC offers you blood tests soon.

barking glad to hear the trigger is out if your system and that you are not going to be daily pimping, only one more week to get through

beaky I am also miles behind all friends and family. I spent part of the weekend with my Petri dishes niece and nephew who are 4 and 2. The youngest finally called me by my name on the weekend, melted my heart. He is the one that was conceived at our wedding when we started ttc.

nolly congrats on the epic cycle.

rp hope you are enjoying your beer. I had a glass of wine with dinner and read on side of bottle that you should not be drinking if pg or ttc, not seen the comment about ttc before.

rain no advice on the spot but I hope it doesn't impede shag week.

chloe hope follies doing ok?

Hi to anyone else I have forgotten. Not much going on with me, still sniffing dr drugs, feeling very tired every day. Have two days off work and some family visiting so more secret sniffing. Had to take it whilst in car with dad on w/e, told him it was for hayfever

Fuck a DUCK rp!!!! I had to Google (images) that and now I am going to have nightmares! Definitely not that, it's entirely above the surface and very small/hard, looks just like a regular spot really. I don't know what to do with it, will keep an eye on it and go to GP if it doesn't stop hurting (only does when touched, which due to position is quite frequent ). He's seen my fanjo before, it's no biggie!
Hope the beer was tasty!

lumen excellent cover work there! god help me if we ever get to medical intervention, I am rubbish at lying.

hb I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news. My heart goes out to you, take care of yourself and your OH.

bushy I'm glad you had a good weeknd, sounds like it was great fun! If I ever get preggers I don't know how I will cover up not drinking. My friends would be immediately suspicious as I do like a drink (not that I'm an alkie or anything!)

rp Well done on all your hard work, you deserve a beer! That sounds like a typical male reaction from your OH about the test results! DH was all for telling his parents we would be having treatment went it looked like the issue was my PCOS. Now that there are some issues (lazy swimmers) on his side he's decided we shouldn't bother!

lumen Loving your excuses!

So scan update. Had it with my usual dr who is much nicer than the dr I had last week. He's also really good looking and I actually quite fancy him.

I have 13 follies on the left and not as many (about 7, can't remember!) on my right. They are all a little bit small, so I need to stim and take my dreaded itchy Orgalutran for another 2 days. Then another US on Wed and EC on Friday!

Had a little chat with the dr about how many embryos to put back. He seems quite confident that we would have a good shot with 1 and have some to freeze. So we will probably go with that. I totally love the idea of twins, but not when I think that there are more likely to be pregnancy complications and of them being born pre-term. What are everybody else's thoughts?

Have got my first acupuncture session tomorrow. Am kind of in two minds about it as the lady (though specialising in IF) sounded a bit bonkers on the phone! Wish me luck!

Scan sounds good chloe, hope your follies keep growing. What is this orgalutran you are having to take? I will only be stimming on Gonal f.

At our FC they will transfer 2 embies if a day 2 or day 3 trf, and if day 5 but not as good quality as they hope then it is our choice to have either 1 or 2.

Sounds like lots of follies Chloe , give them a little time and they will get bigger.

Every time you mention your orgalutran drugs I keep thinking orangutan!

gillster I'm in the habit of calling them orangutan injections too!

lumen I take the Gonal F for 10 days to stim. From day 5 I had to take the Orgalutran as well. This basically stops the LH surge from happening too early and causing ovulation - you don't want those eggs doing a runner before collection day! Not sure if this is the same in all protocols though?

I took similar drugs in the short protocol (Menopur and Cyclogest(?)) I think. The Menopur was for the stimming (from menopausal ladies' wee) and the Cyclogest helped mature things and stopped me popping too quickly. I still have a vial of Menopur in the fridge which will come in handy if I have to pay for a round of treatment. Also have a cupboard full of bum bullets (which I'll hopefully be putting to use in July). Also had to take some tablets that diabetics take but not sure why.

HB so sorry it didn't work out for you. I cannot imagine how hard this must be at the moment. Sending lots of berry power of kindness to you.

bushy, congrats. This is great news. After all the headf** of the bleeding this is fantastic.

chloe and lumen good luck for the rest of your stimming/ jabbing/ pinching and whatever else is involved in the IvF. Will be looking towards you and bushy for role models in sanity and patience in a couple of months' time.

barking, I can understand that time must feel as if it is moving extra slowly for you at the moment. I am keeping my fingers crossed that Sunday will be the lucky day in the barking household.

rp, hope it's not AF. I told DP about your baster project as he is working away every week and I have suggested we should copy your ingenious idea. I totally get being frustrated at apparent lack of interest on DP's part. I do hope that the SA comes back ok. Fingers crossed.

beaky, I get the feeling of being left behind. Purposely avoiding school reunion because I feel like a failure for not having produced husband and offspring. But as these thoughts are just getting me down, I am still trying to remind myself of compassion and kindness to myself. It works, sometimes, at least.

Afm, nothing to report here. Sorry for being awol, have been away with the family for the funeral. It has been quite an upsetting time. I have also given up hope of a natural bfp given the very, very low sperm count. So at least I feel under less pressure. Things have to change in Rosieland as our relationship has really been hit hard by the combined stresses of work changes/ overload, moving, house purchases, breavement and ttc issues. Unfortunately, I haven't found the magic bullet yet. Trying to take it step by step but as I am the most impatient person in the whole wide world, I am struggling. Anyway, enough about me.

I am willing all of you berries on. Have a good start to a short week.

Congrats bushy! Wonderful news!

chloe great re follies and so pleased everything is coming along nicely for you. You too, lumen - got everything crossed for you both and your ivf cycles.

barking how you doing on the countdown? Not long now so hang in there!

beaky know exactly what you mean about feeling lft behind. I was chatting to a mate who has an 18month old and it suddenly hit me that we both told eachother that we were ttc and she instadiffed. And here I still am.

happy hope you had a brilliant hen! Bit scared of mine this Saturday. Even more scared of the wedding the week after. How are your plans coming along?

rp hope you're ok. Sounds like your oh is doing the typical male reaction. I think it really screws with their masculinity, this idea that the 'problem' is them.

rosie so sorry you're having a rubbish time. Sounds like you and oh have had a lot to deal with recently. Is there any way you could take some time out at all?

rain OUCH! Maybe try sitting in a bath with drops of tea tree oil in it?

Nowt much to report here. Around 11dpo and now getting impatient to poas. When do you ladies think I should give it a go? Wait till 14dpo? That's what I'm leaning towards...

bushy am so excited for you! are you going to FC to get bloods done? (sorry if you already said over the weekend, i try and avoid my computer then as the rest of the time I'm glued to the b*stard).

Rp my oh is the same - not at all convinced by the vitamins etc. when i mention it he assumes i'm off on a feminist rant again. which is, to be fair, usually a reasonable assumption. Is there any evidence that supplements etc work though? really impressed with your DIY. I am so lazy myself. any news today?

AFM i am 9 days dpo and trying and failing to stay away from google. having lots of cramps and tingly boobs though, so even if not pregnant at least I'm having a proper cycle. some months virtually nothign happens and then af arrives. who am i kidding, I'm going nuts. Sunday is D-day (when I'll be babysitting nephew, yay).

glad you're back rain! sorry about your weird spot. I've had one before (too much cycling. Not w*anking). and it just went away after a few days. hope it's not too sore or anything?

barking and rp i sympathise re feeling sad for DH. for me that is the hardest thing - I wouldn't mind so much but he gets really sad.

chloe I dont' know much abotu follies yet but that sounds like good news... I'm going for woo needles this pm too, is yours a fertility-network one?

hope your day perks up lumen. like the casual 'hayfever' excuse!

rosie, things sounds tough. sorry . it's so easy for ttc to loom over everythign and it sounds like you've had loads on your plate. holidays due?

feather I'd wait personally. but that's because I'm a coward.

hi everyone else, sorry for epic post!

Aww Rosie I'm sorry you are struggling, just try and keep going and it will get better. As Feather says is there anything you can do together to just spend a bit of stress free time enjoying each other's company?

Feather how exciting - hen do this weekend!! If you are 11dpo today you could do Friday - 14dpo as you suggest or you could do it now?!? I know I like to try and wait but I usually get AF first!

Chloe things sound like they are going well with your follies, and EC on Friday! Exciting times, will cross my fingers for you.

Lumen good work with the sniffing excuses, good thing he didn't have hay fever and want to try it when is your next appointment?

RP dh's can be so frustrating. I think they don't always take responsibility for their part and think it's down to is.

Rain maybe take some antibis if you have any? It will probably go away on it's own though but painful for shag week!

I'm coming to the end of what I have decided was my second AF in two weeks, woohoo. What a special treat . Could have done an iui cycle if I had known, so thanks for that body!

How's everyone else today? And teacher berries, hope you are getting a bit of a break this half term!

rosie sorry you're feeling the pressure. DH and I don't fight as a general rule, it's very, very rare we ever argue, but of the three arguments I can remember us having one was after the miscarriage when I wasn't coping and one was over ttc (when he sent me the link to the article claiming stress prevented conception and I blew up). The third was when he cut the dog's fur, don't ask. It's horrible that the thing that's supposed to connect you more than anything is what can tear you apart with the stress of it all. It's supposed to be lots of sex then a bfp and a happy pregnancy goddammit!! .
TTC on it's own is difficult, but add bereavement, work stress and house buying into the mix and it's not surprising you're feeling it. Can you book in a date night or get a weekend to yourselves to do nothing much at all, or get away somewhere?

chloe follies sounding good! I've been having acupuncture for 5 months now, it brought my cycles back after the mc and has started levelling out my hormones, but I am having wobbles now it's during the IUI. When I went on Saturday it really, really hurt, and I still have red marks 3 days later where every single needle went in. This doesn't usually happen, I might get marks from one or two, and a few sites might be painful going in, but not like this was. It's freaking me out a bit, and there's a language barrier (she has a very strong chinese accent and speaks in pigeon english) so it's difficult to have a reassuring conversation. I keep reminding myself that she's got photos of babies all over her wall so she must be doing something right, but I think I want to cancel tomorrow's appointment...

lumen when do you start injecting?

gillster I'm sure my bum bullets are called cyclogest?!

feather I am not the person to ask. I'm kind of missing merk and her early pimping, every berry left is far too sensible about these things .

It's now 8pdo. This is driving me insane. I have zero symptoms. I am getting very frustrated at everything I'm missing out on while I wrap myself in cotton wool. This half term is pretty shit as a result. We cancelled plans to go away due to the horrible weather forecast because we were camping, and while I'm 'being sensible' I can't climb or go biking which just leaves walking in the rain, but apparently the weather where we were going is blue skies . I've not got any work done yet so I still have that hanging over me (and being on here isn't helping as it's been half an hour since I turned on the laptop and I've done nothing productive so far, exactly like I managed all yesterday afternoon). I just took the dog to the park and burst into tears standing holding the ball thrower. Feeling irrationally emotional, skin is bad and I've had cramps - all the signs that AF is on the way, only it's being blocked by the progesterone so I don't even have the shorter wait until the disappointment (I'd usually be due on today).

Nolly my FC helpfully told my dh in our appointment last week that there was no research supporting supplements improving sa. I think that is crap and was saying to him about others on here who have tried them and saw a difference but then he said it could be an improved diet and lower alco intake. Damn his rational argument. Anyway he said that he would take them anyway as it wouldn't hurt! Honestly he could have said that in the first place. His sample was fine although they didn't give exact info. Your symptoms sound promising, especially if you don't normally have any!