Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Scan is done! All is well!! Due date brought forward a week 4th November, 13 weeks today! Sooooo relieved!! Xxx

What do you do lala? My DH is animating a bears pants exploding off!

I'm on a conference call... Shhhh

Hooray Ness! You must feel so relieved

Delighted for you Ness, what a relief!

I work with animals and it was an educational leaflet someone was designing :)

Fantastic news ness! You've a keen little bean there for sure x

yay !!!!!

Oh Ness!!!! That's amazing!!!

Hi viroids .

Feeling crummy/crampy today. But gave myself a round of applause for not buying a first response, despite now knowing a) that they exist and b) that the chemist near my work sells them. Remarkable restraint, I feel.

How's everyone else this fine evening?

Ooh, sorry. Missed the good scan news, congratulations Ness

Yay Ness!!

So thrilled for you my lovey. Aww I love this thread - full of happies!

I've read crotch watch on a few threads before, I didn't realise it has an alternative meaning in the aviation industry Min! Haha! My crotch watching is for AF. Had horrible period cramps all day

Well done resisting Before !

Hope you're ok RPopz and Before.

Great news Ness.

I am pooped but feel I should still get some cape action going. I will actually be glad to see the start of TWOT

Ness
lovely news, so good to hear!

Hurrah ness!

popz, I'm still getting the ertd-y cramps and I'm 7 wks, I get them for the first few months, so fingers crossed it's just settling in pains!

Thanks viroids You guys rock!

Me too popz I get them when I sit down. Walk around a bit, I find it settles it a bit. When's ur due date?

Great news ness! Hope you feel better now, and you get to meet him/her sooner!

Well done for not cracking and getting the FR before, how long can you hold on though?!

Knickers duty is well underway here too. Ever trip to the loo is an adventure. This is a long old week though, isn't it?? Only Tuesday - how?!

Thanks Min and DrF, that is reassuring. Dr Google said implantation cramping. And I did see brown mucousy lumps on crotchwatch earlier tmi sorry so am going to hold that thought! Due date is 10th Jan (week before my birthday!!)

Get that cape on Wil

Dulce I KNOW! Work today was ridiculous. Doesn't help I'm doing the most monotonous job in the lab at the minute... Another 3 day weekend soon thank god!

Don't think there will be any cape action. I'm very nearly asleep. I am really scared we've stopped too early though. This has been the most stressful month yet.

Is Cape action having a bounce? Gads I'm up at 5

Got to get my cape on tonight. Oh god, I'm knackered...

Ness that's fantastic news

Hoping that I've delurked to the lucky thread!
Not holding out hope although I am drubbing myself crazy symptom spotting, although it's proven that I don't ovulate

but I've just got a feeling I can't describe after having the ERTD that appeared in March after 5 months of nothing has kicked something off, but don't say it out loud

Yeah Kato. You will need to design yourself a cape. They can be topical and can change. We had a number of furry ones over Christmas and some air conditioned ones when it was warm.

I am invoking the law of sod in writing - I have a hen do this weekend and if I was preggers I would be due on MIL birthday... just saying!