Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

@ Crotch Watching

sounds like Bill Oddie in perv mode!

Well I'm going to have to delurk now to say a big congrats to Rpatz ??

While I'm here I may as well admit that I am ttc despite trying to trick my body that I'm not desperate for a BFP

Name: Koala
Age: 28
ttc since: Jan 2011
Children: DD - 3yo

Ooh who was it coined Crotch Watch - was it Wilh? It's just exactly what you'll be doing for at least a month Rpopz!
Thanks lil, scan is today!! Don't mind telling you that I'm freaking the fuck out!!
Four and half hours til I know if the last 12 weeks of stress have been worth it. I'm currently playing both options in my head alternatively (the good: cry; ring my mum; send scan pics to friends who are waiting ; let work know all is good; tell you guys; tell my family this weekend; mucho excitement. The bad: cry; ring my mum; let work know I won't be in for a while; tell you guys; take next steps; cry; reevaluate whether or not I can go through it a third time)
Driving myself CRAZY.

RPopz not Rpatz! Stupid auto correct

fingers crossed for you ness

Hi Koala! Haha do you type about Rpatz a lot? I always thought he looked a bit poorly, like he lives off crisps and pop!

Ness sending you super positive vibes, I am terrified of the early stages as I found out I was having DS when i was 5months gone and know next time round I'm going to be a nervous wreck. I'm sure everything will be fine!

Oh my god bollicle thread is amazing' I had op once to remove mystery thing. Turned out to be hymen! Who knew!? I did go to very religious school so perhaps it was reinforced over that period

Rpopz where the heck is the line? Why can't I find it?

Hi koala how's it going?

ness hope it goes well today! Exciting! X

Whoo, congrats RPopz fabulous!

I've not been around much lately so hello newbies, I'm Juni and I'm 15 weeks pg today. WOW.

I used to walk past the Jason Doner Van every Friday and Saturday in its trusty Bristolian spot!

Let's hope for a flurry of BFPs and all good things. Hope it goes well ness, I'll try to pop in more often xx

Oh ness, you sound very scared. Hope it all goes well for you and you can implement the 'good' plan fully! Think you should tell us before work though, they don't need to know!!

Hi to the newcomers by the way, sorry I missed that in the BFP excitement! We appreciate your enthusiasm for JSing but the last few weeks have been tough and a number of contraband items have been used. Tut tut! Hopefully you can help renew our enthusiasm!

Lala are you on the app? I can only see pics on the actual website.

Ness got everything crossed for you.

I need to find another 700 words on this essay, including intro and conclusion, brain has decided to not work, and I'm just thinking about crisps, I also realised this morning that I only have today and tomorrow to perfect essay and the rest of assignment as ds1 has ortho appt Thursday morning!!! and we will be out for the majority of it and should just about get back in enough time to check it and send it off! why do I do this to myself!!! every bloody time !!!!!!!!

Crotch watch was my baby. We do it every time we check seatbelts are fastened.
Very funny first thing in the morning after some boys wake up...
If you get my drift...

No more contraband.
JSing.

What is crotch watch? I assumed it was checking your knickers for fluids etc?

With my Bollicle past, I'm good at checking my own undercarriage!

OMFG kato I just read bollicle follicle thread! a PLUM! I've had a pea sized one down there before but a f'ing plum! and 5 stitches! wow! I'm speechless!

oh and I packed 2 ic's...can't remember who asked

ness by my calculations you'll be in your app now. got everything crossed for you. eagerly awaiting your update....won't leave the WiFi hotspot until you post!

Good luck Ness hope all is well xx

Min those newbies who don't know your profession might find your post a little confusing . Minion is a glamorous cabin crew flight attendant (what the hell is the proper term for it these days?), hence 'crotch watch'! Horrible image there of checking out your passenger's morning wood though...

But I agree in terms of this thread, Crotch watch is akin to Pant snot checking, right?

I'm getting my cape on tonight, I'm on CD5 and ready to roll. I often get - ahem - naughty dreams about DP around this time of the month, so perhaps my body is trying to tell me something.

Pant snot?! Jeeeeez

Ha ha ha ha haaaaa!!! I forgot min is a glamorous air person and was picturing her and dh checking each other's seat belts in the car!!! I was trying to work out why they'd be there so early in morning...oh dear

Phahahaha brilliant!
Yes I'm partaking in a completely different type of crotch watching currently.
I'm bored out of my tree folks.
There's naff all for me to do, think I may skip out early doors! Such a shame being stuck inside on a day like this, I was almost cock a hoop when the fire alarm went off earlier.
This will be a long 7 months I fear!

Lurking in .....

Waves at everybody :)

Lurks back out ......

I love my job it's ridiculous - today I checked that a cartoon fox looked like a fox