Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Ultimate contraband - clearblue fertility monitor!

Hi all,
Ugh, rotten backache/cramps all evening but probably OBEM induced I'm trying to ignore.

I don't mean to be dumb as a newbie but what's a frer?

So great to see a BFP, hopefully the first of many. congratulations

Haha Kato I have read that thread, it made me wince! Didn't realise that. was you! And yes you will learn that some of us mainly me are total hypocrites when it comes to contraband

Have frer now... too scared to pee on!

Not that I'm like going to rely on gadget and wizardry... But out of interest, does your monitor data correlate with app findings?

This was my first month using the cbfm and only my second month using an app. Bizarrely I ovulated one day before the app said I would (according to the opk) - but I think that must be coincidence... unless I'm just very average

literally just had another little earthquake!!!!!!!

Earthquake again?? Weird!

I can't afford cbfm so even if I did partake in contraband i couldn't do it.

Apps are crap - I tried one for 2 months and was more confused. Now we're just shagging!

before first response = frer. Ultimate symptom spotters nemesis.

Question - is it utterly disgusting to buy cbfm off eBay? Just hypothetical of course

Lala you can get new ones on ebay for fraction of shop price. However, urine never actually comes in contact with the device so second hand ones are not particularly gross... and there's loads of them on there.

If this bean sticks, you can have mine!

Fucking beautiful line! Literally a fucking line. Hereby declare piss sticks to be fucksticks!

So pleased for you and thank everything it wasnt an evap! Hurrah popz, how did u get dh to agree to a night test?

Ignore that. It's utterly gross

Thanks popz I'll check eBay for cheap ones

wil I've tried to get him mingled with other children with ADD, ADHD and ASD as he has AS traits too, however he has a lower tolerance to children similar to him, in fact there is one in our village who he goes to school with but he gets on with him sporadically, he not long got kicked of the school bus for lashing out at said child on the bus, they are friends ATM though, but I want to kind of keep his friendship with him quite limited just so that they can a) learn to like each other most of the time, b) learn to tolerate each other, and c) be able to spend more than just 2 days worth of breaks and lunches before ds get arsey with him, also my ds is medicated and other child isn't, and other child has hyper element, and ds is pretty much static the majority of the time, which annoys him, its quite hard to explain actually. he does have a couple of other friends in this village and the next but his confidence is at an all time low, I'm also gently trying to convince him to try cadets, you know the odd ohhhh that's a bit like cadets when I see something remotely army like!, although unless it has a computer game attached I'm not entirely sure I can convince him. sorry for waffling

not studying anymore for the night, dp keeps coming up to tell me about this docu he's watching, on preppers, people that prepare for the end of the world! here's me studying to get a decent paid job for our future and trying to make babies and there's him, checking out ways to prepare for a nuclear disaster!

where do you live babble?

(it's almost 1 am in the UK)

Morning Viroids!

Not sure I slept a wink last night! Sorry for bulldozing everyone else's conversations last night and thanks again for all your kind words I'm staying in here for aaaaages yet!!

DrF I think he just didn't want me to do it last night and "waste" a test as I've told him you're supposed to use fmu. He said if it was neg I'd be awake all night wanting to do it again in the morning! But... one I'd be awake all night anyway, two I was always going to buy more than one test anyway and three if a line came up with evening pee on those shitty two for a quid sticks then evening pee should work on the frer too!! He came round to my way of thinking

Rpopz I'm on my phone so can't zoom in but even I can see the line! So happy for you.

zing I live in Rutland, its lovely, it only has 2 towns and the rest are villages in the whole county.

Popz I can't see a pic on my phone did you test again?

hi all .. I got WiFi!

so much has happened while I was travelling!

hi Katy kato and before . I am so heading to the bollucle Fred later...intruiged!

lala, think it was you with app being thrown out by one cycle? I also use fertility friend, you can remove dodgy cycles from the calculations by untucking it in the settings. I did that with my 70+ day cycle.

zyla sorry she got you, I really thought it was your time.

rpopz omg congratulations! you have renewed my hope for my cbfm

babble hope the earthquake wasn't too bad!

ness what happened after the spotting? have you had scan? hope alls good with you?

red where are you?

no symptoms here to speak of. seems I did have a tummy bug as dh got it just in time for travelling! luckily he only had it 1day, not 4 like me! so still twotting but at least I have sunshine to take my mind off it!

Where are you on your hols lil?

rpopz that's a beauty of a line that us!!!!

That is a lovely line there popz, no 'canyouseealine.com' needed for you! I wonder if you maybe ov'd earlier as that looks much clearer than others I have seen at 11dpo? Maybe it's twins! haha!

Lala I did a frer last night after dh finally took me to tesco! And another one this morning haha... both came up straight away

Crotch watching like nobodies business now though... Does the anxiety ever end??

Hooray for holiday wifi Lil! Hope you have a brill time. Did you pack the test in the end??