Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Don't even get me started on cheese Dulcet!!

Haha oh god I'd not even thought about it apart from the obvious... stilton, pate, booze etc!

Thanks Lala. I'm in a bit of a grump about it if I'm honest.

Glad things are moving forwards Zyla.

Thanks guys, we're positive, even if only to know it's all ok. Tho DH read the info for his collection pot, the fact it's got to be handed in within an hour ( with parking at the hospital and our distance from it, wouldn't happen) and the fact you can 'collect your specimen here' and he decided "Looks like I'm booking into the wank tank at the hostel then!"

Lol.. And bless

Hospital, not hostel..that'd be a whole different story!

Lol I was going to say!

It's good he's willing too zyla. These men of ours can be resistant at times!

Well I have pointed out that he's just got to hum.... Come in a pot... And I'll be poked, prodded and tested way more! So he can't really argue, don't think he would. But there's not a leg to stand on :)

Also..... I'm a bit weirdly interested as to what the room will be like in the hospital, will there be porn? A bed? What?!

Lol

Harumph! Came home all slinky in my disco pants and big hair piece and DH just wanted my leftover minstrels and has gone back to his office to work (he is on deadline, but still!)

Now I'm in my my little pony jammys eating said minstrels. He's not getting away with it I'm jumping tonight!!

Show was amAZing

ah kato men can be soooo oblivious!
my phone keeps changing your name to NATO! tres annoying on the autocorrect front again!

zyla I know what you men about hol interfering with tests. I couldn't book hsg for this cycle as we weren't back from holiday in time to get it done before cd10, so I have to do it next month. its a total kicker as we will have to wait 8 weeks after the hsg to see a consultant. apparently everyone in my area is as barren as I am!

duck and tabby congrats on the house moves. dh and I were talking about a move on hol....watch this space!

Morning viroids!

Kato I'm loving the mlp jammies! I was in my mlp t shirt last night too - ultimate chill out.

zyla how long did u leave it before asking doc? If I'm not upduffed this month I'm going to speak to doc.

So who's actually JSing at the moment? We have me tabby and wil twotting (1 week to go for me!) and lots of you now are upduffed.

zyla I really want to know what room is like! And what type of porn - as in is it playboy etc or perhaps just nuts magazine.. ?

I've asked about the eggs thing, and as long as they have the British red lion stamp on they should be ok, but to limit them. So that was my quota for the month (sad face, #firstworldproblem).
I too am moving a week on Monday so I may be Mia for a week or so, inbetween overseeing all the heavy lifting and napping.
I'm going to miss eggs.
And Brie.
And pate.
And cocktails.
And oysters.
When Christmas rolls around, guess what's on the menu at minions!

lol all this talk of food is making me hungry.

one of my mates demanded a prawn baguette the second her baby had been born. I shall be demanding a whole brie!

minion I feel your pain. my house looks like a bombs gone off.

No prawns either! Do prawn crackers count?? Bloody hell lol.

My house permanently looks like a bomb's hit it. I used to be houseproud and then I got a dog!

Ooh upsizing Lil?

Hope everyone has lovely weekends planned!

No prawns?! I have so eaten a prawn uh oh!
Yeah, I'm going to asking for a massive baguette with lashings of chicken liver pate for Christmas! Followed by an extensive cheese board with port!!

lala he's going to book in for the week after we get back from hols, so I'll make sure he reports back about the room! :)

As for how long before docs, we've been trying about 8 months, but are over 35 so don't have to wait as long I think. Check the NICE guidelines :)

Loads of luck to all who are moving!

Me and DH are JSing, but it's a bit early in cycle atm to be much use. :)

I am in ikea.

I am not happy.

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Seafood ok as long as it's cooked. I had soft shll crab in tempura batter the day after I find out, and calamari last night.
Everything in moderation I say.
Apart from the obvious stuff, ie unpasteurised stuff and raw meat and seafood.
Heck I'm even eating peanuts which I know is ok now, but still some people think hmmmm when they see.
My appetite may be back, and I'm wanting morrisons salad and grapes!

Yesssdsd

The peanuts thing is ridiculous, I'm not going to stop eating them!

Ayles I LOVE Ikea!! Maybe not on a Saturday though....

I believe Ikea on Saturday is one of the 7th circles of hell.

oh dear duck! I hope u escape unscathed!

rpopz yes looking to sell our rented property and upsize from our 2 bed. easier said than done though!

I have been working and stuffing on chocolate and cake! out for dinner tonight too. oops, diet starts Monday!