Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Sorry splodge, fx for the rest of the twotters.

Still no af here. Have decided I'm not ready for a baby this month

Sorry I prob missed it earlier in the thread, but when is AF due tabby and have you poas yet?
Fingers crossed x

It was due on Monday according to me, today according to opks. Tested yesterday, BFN. I'm sure I'm not pg - not even really late yet!

Now 4 days late, another BFN (arrggghhh, need some internet cheapies).

So, assuming I'm not pg, and I think I have to face the fact that it's pretty clear cut, where the flip is AF. I had longish but regular cycles. But of course this month when I really thought I might be pg, she decides to mess with me. I really don't want long AND irregular cycles, that would be utter crap.

Has this happened to anyone else? I may have to consult Dr Google.

Have been sulking quilting today, to try to make myself feel better. Do you know that I must sew now feeling, Zyla?

Oh Before and Tabby that's really annoying, hope it turns up soon.

Oh wine sounds good BBB, I'd like to drink this cold away. Don't really want to take painkillers just in case. Bit ridiculous probably.

Mr Wil is out, leaving me alone in symptom-spotting hell . Somebody please distract me!

I hear you before! My last cycle was 26 days. (usually about 30). Now on cd33 and would quite like the witch to do her worst!

before mine are long cycles too! and when I'm stressy or I'll or have convinced myself I'm upduffed they can alter, you're not alone

*or ill that should say! silly autocorrect

I'm a 26 or 27 dayer normally. Last cycle was 37 days completely and utterly unexpected. It was a bitch.

Sorry for the BFNs tabby and before. Fingers crossed its too early

before :( I sympathise - happened to me, had 28-30 day cycles then for some reason a 39 day one. Totally threw me - evil!

I am SO ready for this week to be over!

wil you're not being ridiculous about the painkillers, that's just conscientious - but for the symptom spotting here's a very gentle hooya from me and a in place of wine. I miss wine - it's been 3 days now...sweet wine, how I miss thee yes I am away I sound like I have a slight case of alcoholic dependency but if you knew the week I've just had you'd forgive me...

Is anyone watching the new series of Mad Men?

*aware

Thanks Lala. Currently trying to persuade Mr Wil to make me a brew but no joy as yet. I love wine but it gives me a horrific hangover that I can no longer cope with alongside a toddler, so I mostly drink spirits now. I miss it too. Never been in to Mad Men. In fact have missed most of these series that everyone seems to watch. I don't think I have a very good attention span.

No Madmen spoilers please, I've literally just started on series one...yes that's how in touch and up to date I am with telly drama. I am toasting the unwelcome arrival of the evil aunty with some rum & coke this eve. I can't do wine + toddler hangovers either. Too cruel a combo.

I'm a Mad Men addict Can't believe they're splitting this season in two

Thanks for the commiserations folks - just reading my old diary to find that the cycle before we conceived #1 was a 42 day joy-a-thon. So it could be worse.

We too are at the cutting edge of TV Ness being a whole 5 episodes into Breaking Bad. :)

splodge ah, you have so much goodness to come! No spoilers here - I had both the ending of Breaking Bad and How I Met Your Mother spoiled for me by stupid people on Facebook. Just enjoy the outfits, the first season is so good for them :)

ness I didn't know that! That's a bit daft...

Arrgh been awake since 4.45am and have so much to do today. Feel like a zombie. But at least it's almost the weekend. Happy Friday Viroids!

Same here wil dh came on at 3:30 from pub. Am symptom spotting. Must stop, far too early

I'd struggle if my DH had that job Lala, I find it so hard to get back to sleep. Also symptom spotting which is so stoopid. Realistically I maybe have slightly tender boobs and that's it so I'm totally expecting the witch, but there's still that little part of me thinking 'oooh' every time I get a twinge or I feel thirsty! So ridiculous!

get on your and ride!

I am totally inviting the law of sod to ruin one of my best friends birthday drinks now!, she's doing a fancy dress effort, a where's Wally theme and I desperately want to wear the hot outfit not the frumpy outfit, obv going as Wendy but wants to hot it up with long socks, stripy vest top, and blue hot pants, definitely do not want to do stripy tights long sleeved stripy top and knee length skirt. So I need to lose about a stone and a half in a month, which means I need to eat as much veg and lean meat as poss, barely any carbs (they are not my friend) and go to the gym every day, if in 2-3 weeks I am still looking fat, I will need to clean 9 it, (not recommended during pregnancy) which is where the law of sod comes in, so this month I am actively avoiding conception. But I will be lurking to see how you guys get on

OMG that's quite a lot of effort for a friend's birthday, you're very nice. I'd just wear frumpy outfit and eat !

not really, she came to my 30th in a massively 8 months pregnant state, in the middle of a heatwave, and suffering from SPD! I'm just dressing up

Sounds like a lot to our yourself through babble! What's clean 9?!

I've just utterly disgraced myself, thankfully there was no one to witness my gluttony.
I had my leftovers from last nights tray bake, for lunch, a handful of cubed potatoes and 2 sausages, reheated in the frying pan.
When I ate it, it just didn't taste 'right' and the only way it would, would be the addition of 2 semi runny eggs.
OH. MY. GOD!

It was fit. I practically inhaled it. Then next came a bag of crisps and I'm contemplating a yogurt and a soreen bar next.

I'm off to the theatre tonight, to see rock of ages and dinner before so hoping it'll all stay down.

I'd love to go to a where's wally party. Have you seen the photos of all those stag dos as it too?
Brilliant!