Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

And definitely take a hol rpopz even if it's a short one! while you're not massively pg and before baby madness!

before wasn't that scan ages ago? Fx!

Also extremely jealous of all the holidays. We were planning to go away this week but didn't get our arses in gear - I could have been in Turkey drinking an efes right now!

Just found out there's another girl at work who's preg. Which is hilarious for two reasons.... One: she's been going round telling everyone who'll listen that the promotion that is coming up shortly is for her because "I've already had my kids- I won't be buggering off on mat leave" (She's the same age as most of us, but she had her first two kids young). Two: its supposed to be a secret but she's told a load of people already, its like she's desperate to tell people, literally any excuse she'll blurt it out, but then she's all "shhhh its a SECRET"... and today she turned up to work with those travel sickness band things round both wrists. Subtle! Think she may be annoyed if I steal her thunder later (since I am actually a secret for now!).

Lol. I have no idea why people do that, tell everyone then say it's a secret! Either it is, and you don't tell anyone, or it isn't!

I won't be able to keep it secret when I get pg, will have to tell work as soon as I know so they can risk assess and will prob be moved off normal duties..hmmm

Are you one of the sciencey people Zyla? Your holiday sounds fab.

RPopz she sounds hilarious. She will be absolutely gutted when you reveal your news!

Sorry about BFN Tabby. Hope it's just not showing yet.

I'm science cos I'm from a science degree/teaching background, but ATM I'm teaching in a prison (probably outing myself here lol) so there may be issues/probs if something was to happen :)

It's not dull

*sciency

That sounds intense Zyla!

Before and tabby you're not out til the fat witch sings! Fx for you!

Ahhhh holidays sound amazing. We're too poor this year but can't moan coz had amazing honeymoon last year.

Being healthy this month - taking my colic acid and trying not to drink wine. Massive effort !!

Where's red? I hope she is ok

Ah ok. No that does not sound dull!

This TWOT is lasting forever.

It's usually ok rpopz. Like teaching, except with more keys lol. Tho yesterday some of my guys were talking about sentence length etc, then asked me if it was weird to hear, I suppose it is when you think about it... But like most things, hear or do it enough and you get used to it :)

lala I had my frolic acid with wine tonight! But I'm officially allowed to drink some this month, too early in cycle atm, also holiday time in a bit and we've decided to just relax and enjoy it, hoping law of sod kicks in! :)

urrrggghhh this cycle is taking forever already, its only cd4 and I'm in dire need of chocolate but I don't want to travel 4 miles to get it, and dps not getting the hint either, I'm still suffering with cramps as well, which is the other reason I don't want to go out for my chocolate.

welcome newbies, I hope this or the next thread is lucky for you

I have finally caught up with uni work and I am on track again, I shall be making more of an effort with it though and trying to get a bit done every day except for weekends, so that I don't lose my rhythm or head towards the end of the month when tma is due, and hopefully it'll be enough to keep my mind off ttcing enough to conceive, maybe

poke

Ok sorry lol! Thread was filling so fast I thought it'd broken. Never mind me :)

Job sounds interesting zyla!! Actually have loads of questions but you'll probably feel a bit exposed so ill shut up!

Congrats on catching up with uni work babble. It's not easy!

This Fred still has a couple of days in it!! Any hopefuls towards the end of the week?!

Well I'm either pg or ill. Hoping for the former as I have Dulcet's sore throat but it actually feels like it might be a bug. So it's either going to be a nice surprise or a night on the bathroom floor...

Ask away dulcet I'll either answer! or apologise and not answer if I either can't! or if it'll out me too much :p

And wil hope it's pg! Feel better soon.

AF has got me 5 days early!! Bit bewildered as thought I was a pretty regular 28 day cycle gal. (Cue instant paranoia about getting old/early menopause - bloody internet). Ah well, onwards and shagwards. Good luck, rest of you twotters.

Ah gutted Splodge sorry. My periods started dicking me around like that. I was always 5 weeks on the dot and then as soon as I started tracking them the got earlier and earlier every month! Must be something to do with "stress" or whatever.

Feel better Wil xx

Thanks. Actually don't feel too bad. Have a cold and a massively bloated tummy so kind of expecting AF but you never know. Sorry you're so early Splodge. That sucks but less waiting around I suppose. Hoping for a quick day at work today.

Sorry to hear that sploge, as reassurance though, that happened to me a couple of times in the past few months. 23 day cycles for no reason really!

Boo to bugs wil!

Sorry to hear that splodge

min what was your red convertible poem again? That cheered us all up last month!

I'm a twotter - 1 week minimum to go...

Poem? Did I.do a poem? Blimey.

I also had a 23 day cycle 6 months or so ago and Dr Google had me panicking I was doomed to early menapause etc. But alas, don't fear it was a rogue one and I was back to normal after!

I'm on cd4 also, yawn! But back on the coffee, wine etc with a vengeance. Haha.

Hope we have another sneaky bfp before this thread runs out xx