Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

After much squinting, BFN. Opks 1, me 0.

tabby, did you use an opk instead of a pg test? I read that's not always reliable...

dulcet is right tabby you need to do a hpt!

Nope, sainsbos cheapy pg test.

Was meaning the opks were clearly right about my cycle unless it's the menopause - I was very cynical but my cycle is evidently less regular than I thought.

popz can you repeat your post? I don't think I quite understood what you were asking...

Twotty mctwotty for me today and soooo frigging annoyed coz I think we might have misjudged this month. Iced Sunday so dtd sat/sun but didn't manage it (hangover) Monday. Now I've read we should've done it then too. Man!!!

tabby how many cycles are you after coming off pill, I can't remember? Mine took ages to settle down so I now just try to concentrate on JSIng every 2 days x

lala the reason this thread is filling up so quickly apart from my stupid tablet playing up is you triple posting lol!

sorry it was bfn tabby. at least if AF now shows up with same delay as opks you will have learned something about your cycles.

fly home tonight and just found out our flight is going to be delayed by an hour! how do they know this stuff 12 hours before!

I'm on a phone app which doesn't let me see anyone's posts as I type so I have to go back to answer various questions, hence my posts sorry

I copy/paste responses on the app lala. Write one response, copy, cancel, go back in and read and then paste my previous response and add to the bottom. Just in case that helps you.

I am so busy but unmotivated. It's a lethal combination!

I have sickness stats! From the NHS! (Looking for info for DH who wasn't convinced there wuld be symptoms this early one)

"Around half of all pregnant women experience nausea and vomiting, and around three in 10 women experience nausea without vomiting. For most women who have morning sickness, the symptoms start around six weeks after their last period."

Solved!

lala it's our first cycle trying but I haven't been on the pill for many a year - we were using withdrawal condoms. So I've wasted plenty of chances to track my cycle, but it would have sent me bonkers monitoring when we weren't trying.

lil, very true. Wasn't expecting it to happen this time so may as well treat it as an info gathering exercise / excuse for a few shags.

Hi tabby - not to give you false hope but I was late POAS said bfn so went for a night on the lash - 1 week late felt a bit odd sore boobs no appetite funny chemical smell in nose and only spotting for AF so tested and - BFP. Give it a week and try again unless normal AF service resumes?

lala I didn't mean it horribly...you post away! I do the same as dulcet fwiw.

AF has left the building now so shall be getting out a glittery summery holiday inspired cape from Friday. just sat around waiting for it to be time to leave now. I always hate the last day of a holiday.

fx for you tabby and hoping frog is right. you realise if you r upduffed you will have done a kitten!

lil I know sad face looked a bit more forlorn than I meant! How was holiday? Are you tanned?

Perhaps we should all have a themed cape, mine is going to be silver with a sheen on it

holiday was fab but I am completely ready to get home now. we don't land until 2.15am now so going to be nakered, then have a loooong train journey home from London tomorrow I think I'm slightly tanned. hopefully it will look more impressive next to all the whiteys back home!

so we are in the airport, our plane doesn't board for another 4 hours...how on earth do I kill the time!

Hey hey, I have been working. I clearly have loads of reading to do.

Sooooo AF now two days late, by my reckoning. Before I get too excited, I've had a two BFN, although not for a while. And that supposedly renal ultrasound, which I'm taking as a pretty definitive no. So... Cape on.

Hurry up AF, you're coming. Don't see that posted on here everyday!

Is everyone OK. I haven't missed any more good news, have I?

Sorry to hear about the bfns Tabby and Before .... not out yet though!
Lil you'll fill your time on mn... obviously!

Dulce I don't like your stats as much as cookies!

No, I don't like dulcet's stats as much either! but they do sound more believable with all the things you hear about people being sick...

lil you're bound to look more tanned than you think against everyone who hasn't been away :)

And sorry to hear about the BFNs, but you're not out until AF shows up, as auberginefrog demonstrated!

I'm on cd9 now but as my cycles are long, not fretting yet. Hoping icing coincides nicely with holiday, relaxing and extra time with DH!

Super jealous of all these holidays!

Still got over a week to wait meh, am already completely over-excited :)

oh yeah obvs on mn

zyla as am jealous you still gave your holiday to look forward to. I'm now counting down to when we go away again in October!

before fx AF stays away for you...that guy was a knob at the scan, he was probably totally wrong hoping

Where you going Zyla? I'm thinking a last minute holiday might be on the cards... we werent going to go away this year because of the puppy but I suppose it could potentially be our last one alone for a while!

We're off on a cruise around the Baltic excited dance

Going a week on fri :) :) :)

Will have very little holiday time left when we get back so need to get upduffed to give me a change in routine hehe