Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

God Min that sounds horrendous, hope you're ok, have a cup of strong and some ginger biscuits. I've read that it's important to eat little and often, don't let yourself get hungry as that can make the sickness worse.

Cookie those statistics are surprising, considering puking is something everyone considers a normal pg symptom. Having said that, most of my friends didn't puke, and my mum and sister never had any ms - so I hope I'll be the same! Doesn't it all depend on how your body reacts to the 'foreign bodies' i.e. your DPs cells taking up residence in your body though? So you could get really sick with one man's baby, but not sick at all with a different man's baby... I might have just made that up though..

Hope you had a fab holiday Lil

DP is off at the docs for a blood test this morning, still trying to get to the bottom of his high blood pressure. I'm surprised they're taking it this seriously to be honest, it was only slightly elevated and he's otherwise really healthy. Maybe that's why they're concerned - because they can't see any reason for it to be high - other than stress. He's had to fast for this one, presumably they're looking at his blood sugar levels etc, so he's going to come home for some brekkie shortly, bless him he'll be starving!

Men really do get off lightly don't they...!!

Why oh why does my DH keep eating too much shite in the evenings and ending up with terrible indigestion at night, so I have to fold my cape back up and ram it in the drawer!?

minion

it's like being the creme de la creme

the top richest people are only 5% (or less!) of the population, but posses 90% of all wealth between them.

poor you.
I used to have red pinprick marks on my neck, around eyes, even near my nose when throwing up several times daily.

30 weeks today, still feeling sick.

That doesn't sound good at all min. Have a sit down!

Those fasting blood tests are the worst snow, I feel for him! Just knowing you can't eat makes me automatically more hungry. I hope he's getting some bacon and hash browns to reward him!

Kato ... perhaps you should follow the advice my sister gave me when I complained about DP being too knackered to get it on at night.. "Jump him when he comes through the door then".. or in the morning, or whenever. Not sure whether that's practical if you already have DCs though and I haven't bothered despite having no kids, I'm just lazy!

Alternatively could you cook him a 'romantic' meal which you've secretly designed not to give him indigestion...?

Thanks Dulce he's been home for double breakfast now. Ironic that you should mention bacon & hash browns - he's almost veggie (well I'm veggie, so he doesn't bother with meat unless we go out), eats really healthily, won't eat fried food, eats enough fruit every day to feed a troop of monkeys... he's skinny and super fit, not an ounce of fat on him.. and yet he has high blood pressure and had his cholesterol tested today! I don't understaaaaaand! He needs a bloody holiday asap!

Ohhh maaaan dulcet, now I want a hash brown. A really dirty salty mother of a hash brown..
Damn you

I've just got in from a driving lesson. Yes, I'm still chipping away at the hole. Turn in the roads... Fine.
Driving... Fine
Bit reversing round a corner has completely flummoxed me. How the heck can I look in a mirror and do what needs to be done when it's almost backwards?
Arghhh

Oh Min you're double hard, taking driving lessons while suffering from the pukes. Don't puke on the instructor....

Reversing around a corner - my driving instructor (who liked to touch young girl's knees when indicating when to brake, but let's not go there) - told me to find a reference point in the back window - a sticker or the wiper or something, and focus on that in reference to the kerb. It worked for me, I'm now shit hot at reversing around corners

Min my driving instructor had little blobs of white tack at the bottom of the passenger side window that I used...

Now I just hurl my car around corners!

Hahaha snow, I wasn't so hard last night! snot and tears streaming down my face moaning at my husband for getting me into this mess...
I'm gonna try and just look out the back window next week when reversing, instead of the left wing mirror. I was getting right confused, you know when you have a grey hair (no, just me?) in the mirror and you try and get a pair of tweezers to pluck it out.
But then you realise it's on the opposite side as you're counting on the reflection? Just. Like. That.
Can't seem to work it out.

I had to tell him I was in the 'family way' as there was a fair chance he would have got a face full of vom when I looked in my Wing mirror ha!

Oh my instructor actually had a bit of sticky tape as a reference point, deliberately place!

In my opinion the veggie bits are the best bits of a breakfast anyway snow; hash browns, fried bread, mushrooms and beans. That's all I would need! Doesn't sound like your man would want that either if hes a health nut. Get him a holiday though, stat!

Sorry min! I think I can smell one now though...!

Just remember Min that you almost never have to reverse around a corner ever again once you pass your test! There is almost always an alternative if you want to avoid it. But once you crack it, it's quite easy. If you don't like using the mirrors, just turn around (but I prefer the mirrors, I get confused when I look behind me)

I'm with you on the hair plucking thing too, although my problem is a full on 'stache these days, going to attack it with a wax strip later

Mmmmm full breakfasts ... we often go out for a slap up brekkie of a weekend, eggs, mushrooms, beans, toast and veggie sausages. Drool. DP isn't so much of a health nut to refuse a dirty breakfast once in a while.

I'm currently planning my next holiday, want to go to the States. I'm already drooling at the idea of pancakes with maple syrup for breakfast. So wrong, but so right.

min I don't want to state the obvious but in a few months you'll need that mirror to reverse around corners...don't think it'll be too easy to look out the back window with a massive baby bump!

Nnniooooooooooooooooioooooooo lil nooooooooooooooooooooo

Ha ha yes we had a sticker on the back. I also always line up wing mirror when parallel parking with the other cars wing mirror. I am parking queen.

Horrible day at work. Feel rubbish, just want to go home and sulk like a 12 year old child

Happy Tuesday! :)

So glad it's a shirt week this week, spent most of the day being confused and thinking it's Monday so I'll be nicely surprised on fri heh.

I thought morning sickness was a lot more common than that too!

How's everyone's days been?

Thanks for the welcome ladies.

Been trying to do a mini catch up! 3BFPs/ 4 preggos! That's fab. Congrats ladies. Hope the morning sickness eases off minion.

I hated driving lessons. Reversing round corners is stupid. Everyone knows you drive round and round until you end up in the direction you wanted to go, even if it adds 20mins to your journey. Haha.

Oh and I'm on CD2 and bored all ready. Haha, I need more patience.

Good look to those in 2ww. Anyone due to test?

Short week I mean

And missed a page!

haha sorry min, just do the window thing to pass your test...then the driving around til u r the right way sounds good! or 10 point turns!

I didn't mind reversing round a corner at all. But parallel parking is still a mystery to me, 17 years after passing my test. You'll get there Min.

Haha Mrs BBB, I think cd2 is quite a nice time in cycle because you have a valid excuse for not JSing!

My day was fine today but pretty tired now. I didn't vom when I was pg, although I did feel constantly nauseous for about the first 15 weeks.

Why did you have a horrible day at work Lala?
I second the shagging before bedtime Kato. I usually try to get it in soon after MiniWil goes to bed otherwise I can't be bothered. I would prefer mornings really but not prepared to get up at 5.30!

Things to do during TWOT?? I think I might email someone about joining a yoga class - may try to invoke the law of sod. Although pretty sure I am not upduffed this month.

Helloooooo. You lot are too chatty! I need Internetz at work

Hope everyone's well. What happened at work lala?

Hey MrsBBB! This fred is def the place to be right now

5% cookie seriously?? How come its such a stereotypical symptom then! I like those odds Saying that, I hate hate hate being sick, and seem to have given myself the ability over the years to talk myself out of actually vomitting. I always assumed pg would be the same.

Still on crotch watch here, nnnnnungghh. Preferred the shagging bit which was much more fun.

V impressed by min's driving lessons and all the other driving viroids, I am constitutionally unsuited to driving would just get distracted and look out of the windows.

Rpopz my sister has a vomit phobia and had HE so pretty sure you can't will yourself out of it! Fingers crossed being a non sicky person will hold you in good at. ad