Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Yup she sure said the immortal words 'sore tits'... She's a little, ummm, untraditional my mother.
babble POAS! POAS! POAS!

babble

I'm going to say POAS in the morning - now you have support covered for whenever you do it.

fx this is it!

min I love your mum ! Mine told me once in no uncertain terms Ogaden to get in the bedroom and get my cape on!

babble POAS!!!

Where did Ogaden come from??

I think she thinks she a trendy 20something still.
We all call her da mommy and she answers back with ya fanny! Crazy woman.
She calls my niece her hairy melon and has named her pets over the years some quite funky outlandish names.

before he sounds insensitive men just don't get it

I went to see doc when my periods hadn't come back 3 months after stopping pill. My usual doc was away so I got this old arsehole man who laughed at me and said I was making a big deal and to go away.

Stressing out a bit. Not been able to get cape on much this wk due to dh job shifts. Just twice this week and o day is tomorrow :(

Oh it's me by the way -lala!

Aargh you need to stop changing your names! My brain can't cope! Lol!

Don't stress Lala (smurphy). Can you do tonight and tomorrow morning?

Haha me neither Rpopz, easily confused.

I have been such a lazy fecker today. 1 week until AF. No symptoms at all. Although if I press my nipples REALLY hard then they hurt .

Babble POAS POAS!

I saw myself as more smurfy than teletubby!!

Oh I didn't think of the teletubbies. I kind of presumed your name started with an 'L'.

I also find the name change hard to deal with!

On way home from a hen do now. Good time, tempted law of sod with cocktails! Haha!

babble - POAS!!

Keeping everything crossed before!

And Babble too!

Ok ok I changed it back

I POASed 2 days ago it was a cb and bfn, I think my cycle must be longer these days, well its got to be, there is no other explanation !

and let's not forget that I have had an extremely stressful week with my stupid essay !! next month I am going to make sure I leave myself a tremendous amount of time to do my essay. Ideally a week, I'm pondering whether it would be worth making notes for essay whilst doing the the work!!! sorry brain fart

Aarrrgggh, I can't sleep. Am going to be in bits tomorrow and we're going to a toddler birthday party.

Have been thinking a bit about what sonographer said, judged it to be a thoughtless comment rather than anything worse. Going to put it down to experience and wait for AF so I can get my cape on again.

Rest of scan was OK, thanks, have to discuss a few "observations" with my GP. No obvious issues though, so that's good.

Ooooh Zing I sew a lot too. And I'm into patchwork in a big way. I have a "sewing room" which is really the spare bedroom but I started calling it that and now everyone else does.

Babble have you ever tried D-Mannose for water infections. Helps me a lot.

Must sleep...zzzzz

Knock knock... Anyone around? I think I have news...

I'm here dulcet what's happening? Good news??

I think so, yeah. I'm a couple of data late so I did a test and... Well... Theres two lines! I am not sure I believe it though, it feels a bit weird!

Morning viroids!

Ooooooooooh! You kept that quiet! congratulations!!!