Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Yeah I'm not actually doing it though RPopz. Can't quite get off my lazy ass yet. I refused to put the tv on this morning and consequently every square inch of my living room carpet is covered in toys. This is why Peppa Pig exists.

Ah Aubergine good to know! I generally engage gob before brain.

Cookie, that's so weird they didn't do a pee test. What if you were just making it all up for shits and giggles? Not that you would obviously, but I'm sure some people may for attention or whatever.

Not managed to get off my ass yet either Wil. I've made the difficult transition from bed to sofa though... am thinking fuck it to the cleaning!

Wish I was having a lovely lazy day - (especially involving chocolate mousse mmmmm) instead I have to make myself go for a 20 mile run Why the hell did I think a marathon would be a good idea? Was hoping for a BFP so I have an excuse to back out gracefully but no such luck

Anyone around? Haven't read back sorry. So very sad :(

Have just been for a renal ultrasound because I keep getting bloody cystitis. I didn't think ahead. Sonographer (male) checked out ovaries and womb too, not sure why. Close together I guess. Ov'd from the right side and... "Nothing in there this month."

Didn't think he'd look at that or say that. Felt nothing, then minutes later found myself teary in the contraband aisle of my local boots. Walked out empty handed and sniffly, couldn't even bring myself to buy frolic acid.

Now in cafe with much-needed bagel. Oh f**k.

Saved me a few quid on testing, maybe. And at least when AF comes it'll be fine. Sort of.

Oh Before ! That seems a bizarre thing for them to say especially if you didn't even ask! But... I didn't think anything would be visible on a scan at this stage anyway ??! Isn't that where the term "chemical pregnancy" comes from? Because the only evidence of pregnancy is HCG until a certain point.

I certainly wouldn't discount your chances yet! Hope you're okay though xx

Yeah they can't see anything until at least 6 weeks on a scan - pretty insensitive of him - stupid men what would they know about ttc. At least the rest of the scan was ok though? Virtual hugs hope you feel better soon

He was a jovial sort, but no, I didn't ask. It was really odd, I just wasn't expecting it at all. I don't know - I think you're right, it's still possible but now feels highly unlikely.

Am OK for eating. Just a bit resigned now.

On a totally different note, will anyone be watching Eurovision next week? DH won't tolerate it and it's not the same on one's lonesome.

They can't see if you're only just pg! I know if it ever happens to me I'll be going for a 'viability' scan at ... Is it 4 or 6 weeks, but that's cos of the diabetes, hate the scan name tho... They can't do it earlier cos they can't see anything!

Bloody men sometimes grr!

On a more positive note - one layer of mousse done and setting, 2 more to go :)

Oh Before, that was really silly of him. Hope you're ok, what a shitty thing to happen. Also hope rest of scan had good results.

Mmmmm I want mousse Zyla. Are you a bit of a whizz in the kitchen?

Aaargh why am I so lazy? MUST GET OFF ARSE.

I'm rubbish generally, just do deserts when we have people round, my DH is way better, but no good at making things look pretty, so he does savoury, I do sweet. It works for both of us and as I'm not allowed the sweet to often I don't have to get involved much mwahahah

*too often

Must slow down typing on ipad screen grr

hi everyone... think I beat you all in the southerlyness...I live in south west Devon! my family are all from the Midlands though so I don't sound too much like a bumpkin!

before men are pricks. hope the rest of the scan was OK? if it was me I'd make a complaint about him being so insensitive. but I am a confrontational person sooo....

I too would love you lot to be my RL friends and not just because I only have about 2 RL friends

still sunny here but the wind has picked up and its due to rain for our last 2days on Tues/weds

decided not to risk hsg this month as AF came a day earlier than expected so I'd have been cd13 which seemed too big a lie. instead we will get capes back on once we are home and try for one more month before hsg, then I'm looking forward to s month of not being allowed to ttc! I wonder if we have any Jonny's in the back of the drawer!

congrats on exchanging zing that's fab news!and loving the sewing room idea! but I too am wondering how you have time to sew!

min I think you need a mini hooya...if poas helps you to stay positive then do it, but limit yourself to fmu and only every 48 hrs so the hcg doubles. have you done a digi yet to see it in words? if not, do that!

red where are you? hope you are OK?

I sort of thought that too Lil - I'd be tempted to complain too Before ... seems very unprofessional of him! But I am also quite argumentative....

Layer 2 done... Shame I have to laze about sit down while they set, stopping me from doing other useful stuff ;)

I can't keep up with you!

sewing - I do it in the evenings or when DH is around to watch kids.
The only pain is that I have to take out & pack away sewing machine every time - such a waste of time!
I'd get more done if I could just leave it as it is, lock the door, then pick up when I left it.

recently I've been doing "chore sewing" - name tapes, mending, taking up trousers' legs.
I prefer "fun sewing" - patchwork or embroidery.

Tesco awaits.

Enjoy the sunshine!

Hi all, hooya gratefully received and put to good use! Sad to say I did indeed poas and both lines all present and correct.
Phew.
It's crazy, these non pg days girls. There's no bump so it looks like you're fibbing, and some days you feel fine, which you don't hear about on the telly, so you automatically think something has gone wrong.
Of course, then hunger strikes and you inhale all the food in a 2 mile radius so you feel like a right wally.

I talked to my mom and she said all she had was sore tits and tiredness and you're supposed to get virtually the same symptoms as her, I'm just hoping I'm one of the 'lucky one's.
Sure, nausea is still lurking in the background but it's nowt a tub of pringles, half a rack of ribs and enough fries to feed the whole of Ireland, won't sort.

Got myself a pg book to peruse too, won £100 vouchers at work so bought loads of crap for nothing

Bargainous!

I'm quite envious Min, it is a worrying time but it's also pretty exciting. I loved reading my chapter every week about how the baby was growing i am possibly a little bit tragic Apparently you labour like your mum too so hope she had a smooth time. (That's probably not true but somebody told me that and it was pretty true in my case). Mr Minion should get up in the night and steal your pee-stick stash.

Don't worry wil I never gave details, just told her some of the funny substitutions :)

glad you are seeming calmer min

everyone around me has a pram or a bump grrrr must be that time of the month for sulking and self pity...good job I'm on holiday drinking a calypso coffee on the sea front and eating popcorn then!

Min did your mum say 'tits'!?

LOL Lala!!

period is due today!!! its not arrived!!!! and i have another water infection!!!!!!! fml !!!

POAS Babble ?