Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

ayles I don't get it. and in my head my attempt at a Scottish accent is more pirate. I tried again and just got brummy. I give up.

dh now on his phone ignoring me so I'm free to waste time enjoy the internet!

as for ROCs we decided mine sounded like a penis beaker. I must get a new one!

Oi Lala, just because you've moved away don't be insinuating that we're not all posh and stuff up here. The glamour of the Lacoste tracksuit and bright white trainers just hasn't reached south of the border yet. We set the style up here. .

Haha like that Duck.

Lala can you print off lots of info about what a male should be doing for optimum fertility and make him read it and remind him of the shit you're going through and that he could actually be helping with that instead of getting pissed up? It's hard because maybe he's just living it up whilst he can before the sproglets come along but you'd hope he'd outgrown it by now. Mr Wil is also a man-child in many, many many ways.

Hehe I had forgotten about penis beaker ROC Lil. 'a meringue' sounds like 'am I wrong?' when said in a strong, less than desirable, Glasgow accent.

I'm so lucky my dh is teetotal! I feel for u guys having to have the drunkard convos and game console convos.

so, should I convince dh till visit the Adonis waterfall at a cost of â?¬7 each so I can touch the dick of a statue because doing so apparently brings women fertility, even though my fertility so far appears fine and dh seems to be the erm problem for want of a better word!

Yes Lil you definitely should! At this stage in the game, it's all worth a shot.

lol wil its just a bit more crazy to add into the mix isn't it!

Lil do it, and get DH to touch the dick as well!

Rim Brush is my new favourite autocorrect! Wouldn't want Irn Bru brushed anywhere near your rim though, that stuff is toxic!!!

God I realise my post is plumming new depths of crudeness now... back to talking about Pineapple cups I think!

I don't get it! Is it an accent joke? I am shit at accents so if it relies on me doing one then we are out of luck!

Oh, there was a whole other page when I submitted! Opps!! I see it now.

Rim brush - amazing!

ladies I so want to meet up with you all. I laugh every day at this thread xx

Haha I love that joke! Mon the Weegies!!

Dulcet - I think I need one of your AF tests - any made it to production yet? I used to think working out if you were upduffed or not would be simple - no period, test - positive - midwife/GP then 9 months later - baby.

Now I think I'm AFing but after spending waaaaaayyyy too much time reading threads on here I'm wondering about implantation... Spotting but no real bleed yet and have just felt weird this month. Someone slap me please!

I think i might have to give up my MN/google habit for the sake of my sanity

just a little me me me announcement:

WE HAAVE EXCHANGED!

YAY!

moving in 3 weeks time - I am so excited!

Happy BH weekend viroids - may you shag your brains out!

Great news Zing - happy packing!

Fabulous Zing! Don't envy you trying to organise that move around 6 1/2 nippers!

Hooya Aubergine. I am sure implantation bleeding must happen but I don't know anyone who has ever had it. (I hope that's what yours is, but STOP GOOGLING! i have NOT been googling whether CM after ovulation means you're pregnant, no I have not)

snow your palate is clearly just not refined enough for Irn Bru.

wave hey all! off out for a bit having made it in from work! back later!

Grats on exchanging zing :)

Haha or not, apparently wine and pizza instead :D

Maaaaaan I've missed so much on here today! Unfortunately I work in a lead box where mobile internet signal goes to die!

Great news on exchanging Zing! I guess you'll be tea lady during the move as you won't be heaving boxes and furniture around. Great excuse!

Hope you enjoy your pizza Zyla Debating eating out tonight again So can't be arsed cooking!

A Yorkshire(wo)man here!

I'm a Derbyshire girl, but (almost) honorary Yorkshire lass as went to uni in Sheffield then lived there for years :)

I'm not allowed my phone at work either, on most of the internet, so miss out and have to catch up in the evenings too

Oh Aubergine I've just read back my reply and it sounds really mean. Not how I meant it at all, I just hate getting my hopes up and then AF comes crashing in. I am very much lacking in tact this week. Sorry!

No way Zyla, thats where I am! Probably totally outing myself here.

Congrats zing, wish you much happiness in your new home! We exchanged a few weeks ago and get keys soon -all v exciting although the stress of exchanging sent my cycle round the twist!

I'm not there any more, but not too far away :)

snow you just made me snort out loud there on a bus!

This Fred is hilarious today

wil I'm proud to be Scottish and wear my super dry with pride!