Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Was just from a guy who keeps asking her the same question and doesn't like the answer, so he keeps asking lol. She's on leave tomorrow and it was 20 mins before the end of the day and she couldn't be bothered with it so hid we got the giggles after so bad!

Sorry lil, had fx for you :(

hi aubergine, newbie high five!

Babble my sis can't be off anxiety meds and had two perfect adorable kids taking the meds at lowest tolerable dose throughout conception and pg. Not what she would have chosen, but better than the alternative. I've just come off but it's early days and if I needed to go back on them I would still carry on ttc.

I can hear the convertible round the bend - think I must have a short literal phase.

wil crossing fingers for you!

babble I suffer from anxiety - totally appreciate how you feel, but try not to panic. You will be fine x

We should just start calling luteal phase 'literal phase' because everyone's phone is autocorrecting it.

I don't like the literal phase - mine keeps changing and makes no sense :)

The luteal phase does the same thing.

I love autocorrect - it cracks me up!

Haha, I thought Tabby did it on purpose!

Hi Tabby high 5 received and returned! good to have some Newbie company amongst the old hands ;)

Rpopz I have to ask what is the pineapple of truth? (Also think faint lines possibly due to you being well hydrated?)

yes, I missed pineapple of truth as well.

Some of us here POAS and some of us pee in our ROC (receptacle of choice). My ROC just so happens to be a big plastic pineapple (totally stolen from a cocktail bar during a hen do). Pics when I get off my ass a minute

You're gonna make me need to find a cooler ROC! Mine's just a hairspray lid..... I already want something cooler!

Yeah, mine is a cotton bud lid. I want something cooler!

Well I can certainly recommend Revolucion de Cuba as an excellent source of plastic pineapples

Warning: may contain rank cocktails.

Might keep an eye out this weekend hehe

A cotton bud lid Dulce ? Isn't that too... shallow...?

Mine's a bubble bath lid!

Popz I wondered about that too!

#pissyfingers

flange wanker....snigger.

Haha. I think it's quite deep actually popz but I can't deny the pissy fingers!

Haha love the thought of the pineapple rpopz

Mr Rpopz was just very stern with me about the fifth pissy stick. (He's usually a massive softie). He's threatened to confiscate my sixth and final one! So that's me told

In other news, I think I've reached a pregnant person low point. I'm wearing a tshirt I've had for about 20years with a purple sarong instead of pants because none of my trousers fit around my middle. And just in case that wasn't attractive enough, I've just thrown up in the kitchen sink and my DH cleared it up for me He's my hero, but I'm not sure he'll ever shag me again

Ness I think it probably shouldn't go back with the Tupperware

Save for next one?

I'm sure literal phase is accepted already!

Right, viroids, I've had an invention brainwave and I'm half way through my dragons den application. What it is right, and you'll love this, it's like a pregnancy test but its a AF test instead! So maybe FR is the most responsive we can get for pg but maybe we can get somewhere with a detector of AF! Maybe they can be combined - POAS and it could be one colour for AF and another for pg.

How many shall I put you all down for?