Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

I'm absolutely bungalowed!!

Hello all - can I join? You all seem lovely. Driving myself crazy trying not to obsess about all thing baby related and such a relief to see I'm not the only one....

Home! Wish I could get on t'internet at work!

I had salad for lunch, was nice tho.. I've discovered lovely crispy bacon bits which I scatter on, they're yummy!

Do need a cuppa tho.

the convertible is on the drive

Oh lil I'm sorry chick! bloody convertible driving flange wanker!

Hi aubergine welcome! What's your story?

Aww lil so sorry to hear that

and

Welcome aubergine

Haven't read fred so apologies for any important info missed.

Last night I had a mini panic attack over references, now I say mini panic attack, I was hyperventolating(sp) a little but then took myself outside to straighten my head, it worked so it wasn't as dramatic as it seemed and I'm pretty sure the people with real panic attacks are thinking . This amongst a few other things has made me think that something isn't right with myself esp over this last week, i have had emotional outbursts, been snappy, forgot things and most importantly lost my sex drive!!! which leads me to thinking i might be suffering from stress anxiety again, which means i may also need to be medicated for it unless i manage to change a few things, so i have decided that i am going to drop 2 of my businesses, (1 is almost non existant anyway, and the other is Avon) slimming world and try and see friends more!! i think actively ttcing is going out of the window if i can help it too. i will be still doing it just not with a cause hopefully. i have POAS today, due in 2 days and its a neg, so if needs be i can go on meds.

going to read thread after ive cleaned up a bit.

Aw Lil, really sorry. Holiday for you.

Hi Aubergine welcome to the madhouse!

Babble hope you're ok. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate Anxiety is just the worst, going back on the meds was the best thing I ever did, despite ttc. You got a Drs app? Try and relax tonight, hope you got your references sorted!

Can't stop googling chemical pregnancy.... Hooya me someone please! gently

stop it right now.

Just poas (that makes 5 now...) its still there!

Hey all thanks for the welcome - just recently off the pill and trying to work out what the hell my body is up to. I miss predictable pain free periods!!! But hopefully all worth it in the end eh?

hi aubergine

would you kindly help me hold RPopz down and tie her hands behind her back, please?

she just can't stop POAS so external force is necessary

Flange wanker min?

Sorry lil that's rotten xxx

Hi aubergine!

Step way from the plastic pineapple cup popz!!! Bad viroid, bad!

Flange wanker may be my new favourite insult!

And stop it rpopz it's fine, breathe and smile hon.

Hang on aubergine when are periods pain free? I'd like one of those...

Haha no probs - rpopz consider yourself restrained! And hello btw ;)

Eeuurrgh I know... I'm a douche. I've been fine all week its just this evening I can't seem reign my thoughts in. Plus mega bout of cramping just showed up right on cue!

Tell me funny stuff to take my mind off it?

Keep meaning to post a picture of the pineapple of truth (PPC)

I saw someone at work literally hiding under her desk in a dark room today so she didn't have to talk to someone, was funny!

She thought it was too, so it's ok hehe

Hi Aubergine

Right Rpopz it's probably not very pc to hooya a pregnant woman but I'm going to anyway. i also feel guilty because I brought it up yesterday. STOP googling right now. If you are already prone to anxiety, you know that isn't going to help. You have to acknowledge that anything which happens from this point until about 6 months, is out of your hands and stress will just be bad for the bambino. No point in worrying over things you can't change. Do not feed it! also stop POAS because if you get a random lighter one you're going to freak out.

Take care of yourself Babble. It sounds like you already have a good plan in place to lighten your load though.

So sorry Lil. Try to enjoy the rest of your hols and relax .

Min love 'flange wanker', brilliant. The 13th is really soon eeeeek.

Right I've had my tea since beginning this post so sorry if I have missed anything significant in the meantime. Still no clue what is going on with me. I have stabby ovary which could mean icing today. But Mr Wil isn't fit for anything. Aaargh. But remaining sane and not going to yesterday's weird place.

I forgot it was you who had the pineapple of truth Rpopz! I needs to get me one because it must be lucky.

Oh and zyla, that's so funny. She must have been really desperate to avoid whoever it was.

Nooo seriously Wil, its not you. I was worried from the beginning, with it being an early test. Just a downside to the frer I guess! Did an ordinary clearblue tonight and its not as strong but not going to read anything into that!!

Who was she hiding from Zyla ?? I often wish I could do that at work lol. Either that or lock myself in the stationary cupboard...