Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Plus someone moaning about their neighbour putting out her washing - it's an eyesore.

My old neighbour had a really high washing line and her bloomers (yes - proper voluminous pants) would billow in the wind. Impossible to miss.

Is this Fred broken? Mine won't update

I think you are just the only person to post lala?

still on crotch watch here but no sign of her yet!

Just a quiet day I think lala.

Same here lil...

Ahh...it was lonely for a bit there

Yay you're all awake, I wanted to post this morning (really ridiculously early) but I had nothing to say.
lil and dulcet I'm crossing everything girls! I truly am.
Well the estate agent is coming this arvo to take pictures of the apartment as we exchanged on Monday! We move the 19th, so it's all go go go.
Now if I can pull myself away from the belvitas to actually make this front room looks acceptable ( and move away from the porcelain throne) it'd be a sodding miracle. X

I'm here, just don't have much to say!

I thought ERTD had buggered off, but apparently not, so the cape is still in the cupboard for this month.

DP has been told he has high blood pressure. He's the healthiest, fittest guy I know, except he's very stressed. So we need to work on de-stressing him. Perhaps a bit of cape action would benefit us both then..!

Sounds like an excuse for a holiday to me snow! Whisk your man away over the most fertile time...

I am lunchless today so had to go to shop and get a wrap. It is the most limp and lifeless thing I have ever eaten (cheeky!). One bite and I have had enough. Not much else on offer though...

Thanks min. Not sure how I feel about it this month really. Theres every chance, did it enough and at the right sort of times but that happens most months! No feelings or 'symptoms' either.

I'm trying to plan a holiday, but DP has a big move in the pipeline with work and won't let me book anything until he knows what's happening... aaargh!

I think I'll persuade him we need a weekend away before that. For health ttc reasons

I'm almost lunchless today as well, and I'm at home! Have hardly any food left in the cupboard, Mr Tesco is coming later - but DP was going to come home for lunch and bring me something... just called him now before I starve to death and he's forgotten to tell me he's not coming... so I've managed to find a Cup-a-soup and a couple of tiny pieces of bread. I could of course go out to a shop and buy some but I can't be arsed

Dulcet what CD are you on then?

hi guys. tiny bit of brown smudge today but then nothing again. (I assume we are agreed on the earlier post saying we r past tmi warnings!) tempted to test in the morning but I know if I do AF will show moments later. due tomorrow so if nothing I'll test Saturday. although if I decide to mention to dh and he says test tomorrow... well let's say I won't need much persuading. someone hooya some sense into me. I need to believe AF is coming, I can't cope with the dissapointment of getting my hopes up again just for a bfn/AF to show.

Would he do yoga Snow?

How exciting Min. When's your booking appointment?

You are totally addicted to AIBU Lala! (I secretly love it too).

Thanks all for putting up with my crazy half-hour! And for all the advice re luteal phase etc. I will know now not to get excited if ERTD is a bit later than normal. Mr Wil seems to have a nasty bug so we're definitely done for the month. Only managed 7 so no SOTM for me! Going to start later next month I think and buy some stick things. Not going for CBFM quite yet.

It's a slow old day at work today.

What do you think would make you feel better Lil? Testing in the morning so you know or trying to not think about it and waiting for AF? I'm not going to hooya you but I say that if you're getting spotting, expect AF.

Dulcet and Snow your lunches sound rank. I, in contrast, had a lovely lunch and feel really full! Sorry.

Would he do yoga Snow would he heck as like! He's really fit, and he used to work out but hasn't really done so since meeting me my lazy rubs off so he's talking about taking up cycling or running again, which would be good. The biggest issue though is he's self-employed, and was working 7 day weeks non-stop for ages... he's trying to take 2 days off at weekends now and I think it's helping.

Dulcet and Snow your lunches sound rank haha that made me laugh. I found one of those pasta cup a soup thingys, so it wasn't too bad. Could do with a biscuit though..

OK Lil I'm going to Hooya you. Not because I want to, but because you sound like me a few months ago. I sincerely hope it's not AF and I would be so chuffed for you if you are upduffed. But please don't get your hopes up too much.

I did this - I never got pre-AF spotting, so one month when I did, I was convinced it was implantation bleeding. I totally got my hopes up, and of course AF came. There followed a few months where I got brown spotting for a few days before AF, I'd never had it before. Just weird things my body suddenly decided to do. I'm back to normal again now with no spotting. Weird.

So try not to get too excited, just stay calm, and see what happens. Of course, I'd love you to prove me wrong, FX for you xx

dulcet I too had no symptoms. But they all appeared on the ERTD was supposed to park up....
lil hold out till you're late kid. Or at least the day you're due on. Don't let your head get mashed thinking about it though. Have a few holiday cocktails, get gazeboed then if it is a + it was you last blow out.
wil booking appointment is on the 13th, eeekkk.

I'm waiting for the afternoon cake time at work. Yum.

God I'd kill for an afternoon cake.....

Lil I forgot you were on your holibobs! In that case, do exactly what Min says - get shitballed, have a fab time, and please dont let it get you down if the witch does show.

and

I caved and cracked open the emergency Tesco value 'lightly fruited cake' dry as a witches tit and then Mr Tesco (the 4th Emergency Service) turned up with my grocery delivery! Yay!

How's the watermelon Zing when's it due to pop?

No time to catch up with you all atm but dropping in to say hi!

Loling at shitballed

thanks for asking Snow

due on 15th July.
baby is fine, not just kicking, but cage fighting!
but I've been stressed (and exhausted coz of insomnia coz of worrying) because of moving.
more because of delays.

but we are supposed to exchange today - fx. then I my brain can rest.

thanks gals. I'm not getting my hopes up. and decided not to test until sat if AF doesn't show. I am getting some mild cramps now which is slightly unusual for but I'm expecting AF by lunch time tomorrow. as for gazeboed and shitfaced...not feeling like booze ATM wierdly....but putting that down to being ill the other day or something its not a symptom, its not a symptom!

zing hope move sorts itself out. try and do some if that yoga

min that's exciting about booking appt. how's the ms?

snow I'm glad you didn't starve and Mr tesco turned up!

hi to everyone else

haha. What the hell is getting ''gazeboed' min?!

What was the first thing you ate when tesco turned up snow? I left half my wrap and have just had a ginger biscuit. Will have a banana on the way home. Can't eat it here as the girl next to me will gag!

I am on CD27 today. Used to say I am 27-29 days but the last few months have ranged 23-33 days so who knows. Based on suspected ov date I would expect AF today or tomorrow. But that still only puts me at roughly 9dpo so not much to get excited about at the moment.

Yay for houses zing! More moving stress before July though?

lil I'll not fuel the crazy! though I'm hoping against hope that this is the month of lil!
Ms is alright really (at the moment however), I just get no warning that I need to barf and have to visit my new bestie. Starts off with a burp, disturbing to say the least. Find I get a bit shaky if I don't eat little and often too.
Other than that, not much different than pms in all truthfulness. I did however get home from work (and I use the term work loosely) to discover some spots starting to pop out. Great!
Been consulting t'interweb and the man from google, he says girl!
Who knows tho.

Lol Dulce "gazeboed" is a Michael Mcintyre thing isn't it?

Lil hope you're enjoying your hol even tho AF is potentially getting in the way! Aren't there any nice cocktails around to tempt you?

Hope everyone's properly fed and watered now

My boobs are killing! Been wanting to say that all day but I've got noone to say it to!!

I loves me some Micheal McIntyre me! The foppish haired one!