Hell no Aunt Flo! You can't park that red convertible here. This space is reserved. Turn on, tune in and cop off. It's Just Shagging part 23!

[Minion]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 22 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2035460-Get-your-ROCs-off-Get-your-ROCs-off-honey-Knickers-down-legs-up-and-capes-on-in-the-competition-for-SOTM-Just-Shagging-part-22-the-one-with-all-the-BFPs?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is  <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging shaggers!

Er Babble not Barking! I'm the only one around here who's barking!

Waves hello to tabby

Hey all, and welcome to everyone new.

Many congrats ness, glad it's all ok... And again to you rpopz

Sorry went a bit quiet, been crying sulking trying to get my head around the AF thing after I'd absolutely convinced myself it had worked this time.

Anyway, I'm not positive yet, but trying to be (please help!) we've got docs on fir next week and icing should be when we're on hol so plenty of time for Cape on action, but I think I'm not cutting out alcohol this month, due to hold and a bit of a fingers up at the world...

Docs on fri next week that is

I feel your pain Babble ... did a degree last year whilst working full time and i nearly spontaneously imploded! Talk about stress. Hope you get your essay finished, too many words is better than too few

Sorry to hear Before Not over til the red lady sings though!

Hey Zyla sometimes a good sulk/ wallow / crying fit is required! Glad you're feeling a bit more positive now though. Where you off on holiday? So jealous of all these holidays!

I'm wishing the days away til Monday (day 35 - longest ever cycle) and an official missed AF. Though this cramping is almost too bad to be period pain as I only usually get that on the first day of AF... Aargh...

Some crazy thunderstorms here tonight!

Get pissed Zyla, fuck it! Sorry, that doesn't help with positivity, but there's only so long you can be good for!

Hooya Before, but sorry it was BFN. You're not out yet though.

The other reason for not testing early is finding out you've had a chem pg. I'd rather just get AF than get a BFP followed by a BFN 2 days later.

I'm really tired and can't remember what everyone has said. Sorry about the spotting Lil.

Welcome Tabby.

I'm feeling a bit confused and in the dumps. I'm on CD19 and have had quite a lot of CM for the last three days although seems to be lessening now. (We're past needing TMI warnings right?) Which I guess means I probably iced yesterday or today maybe? We haven't had sex since CD16 so if it was today, I'm screwed aren't I? Mr Wil is already in bed as he's ill. And even if it was yesterday, that's not great. Apparently Champion's League was more enticing last night . I just feel like I/we(?) have put so much effort in this month and yet it looks like it's been at totally the wrong time. Also, if I'm only icing now and I have my normal 28 day cycle, then is my luteal phase is too short? Or am I now going to have some sort of weird long cycle? Or is it possible to have EWCM after ovulation? I realise this is a big paragraph of random spew but I'm feeling very frustrated. I think I am going to need to get some OPKs so I at least have some idea of what's going on.

Ok I'm actually going to hooya myself after writing all that pish. I needed to get it out though. I feel immediately better!

Mini hooya Wil. I know some people say opks etc make ttc more stressful but there's definitely something to be said for being certain!

I'm terrified of chem preg

Oh and hi Tabby Love that name.

We're off on a cruise around the Baltic two weeks on fri, and as I iced on cd21 last month it should fit in!

Thanks for positivity messages, and yes wil I'll probably get pissed :)

One thing about the cb ovulation test last month was it reassured me that I did ice, and then that I had a normal 2 week literal phase, so sort of put my mind at ease, tho might have got a proper cb advanced fm now, sorry, sorry, sorry (slightly) - tho my excuse is that I think we maybe got SOTM last month at 12 and that didn't bloody work so I'm allowed what I want this month hehehee

Oh shit RPopz, that was a really thoughtless thing for me to write, so so sorry I said that if it's made you worry. I have everything crossed that you have a very sticky little bean in there. . >

Luteal not literal phase, silly autocorrect :)

Noooooo don't be silly Wil ... I was always going to be anxious! Roll on Monday! (never thought I'd be sayimg that!)

Plus I kinda think that line was so bloody solid... surely it can't be?? touches wood

It was a particularly good line!

Am definitely being talked into OPKs. Buy now to invoke the law of sod or wait until AF arrives?

Depends if you're doing just an ov test, or getting a fm? The ov tests just need peeing on at certain times, the fm needs setting up when you start ERTD or within first few days (4 for mine, sorry for contraband!)

Don't give up drinking Zyla there's a lot to be said for a relaxing holiday. Ttc #1I had months and months of abstinence, mung beans, Emma Cannon (anyone read that?), tai chi etc etc and all for nought. Went to Scotland, drank whisky and then it happened, not a bloody mung bean in sight.

Sorry for the confusion Wil, it's utterly crap when you can't make head nor tail of things and your insides are doing the fandango. I can't recommend ovk, hated the bloody things and didn't see a single positive, but then I probably wasn't icing at all for various reasons. For me, they made things worse but they MUST work for some folk otherwise no-one would use them.

I hope you both feel brighter, and soon.

before DH said the same about me getting away from work (stressy ATM, even though I was already working out how being pg would change it.... Work would want to whip me away from normal stuff immediately and I was trying to work out how to finish some groups of classes and then move without looking weird lol) and he said it'd do me good to chill out, relax, and then conceive :)

I have been doing the whole caffeine free, alcohol only at ERTD time, but yeah, I'm going to try and relax and get cape on for the fun of it ... As well as when contraband bonkometer says ;)

Fingers crossed

And it'll be fuuuuun. Yes, might be on wine ATM, oh dear, poor work tomorrow lol.

So so sorry for my whine/ sulk before, it does help so much to know you guys understand x

And it was a great line rpopz it'll be great! just pg cramps! loads of people get them.... I'm betting twins, such an early positive! Any history of that?

Will reply properly to everyone's posts later but felt I should say in case it's helpful to zyla - if everyone abstained from everything bad when Ttc there would be very few babies born. Give yourself a break lovely xxx

Thanks lala I do agree with DH when he says I'll probably conceive when more chilled out, so I'm going to go away and relax and enjoy myself, going in 2 weeks and a day wheeeee!

And thanks again all for helping me regain the positivity!

Sorry you're feeling lil, hope AF does a u-turn & decides to skip your drive!

Well done on the essay Babble - you're giving me uni flashbacks! I am soooo glad that I'll never have to write another essay again!

Tabby, I'd say you go one of two ways: either exert will power, use an app or whatever to determine your likely ERTD date and NEVER allow yourself to test before; or alternatively, buy a bumper pack of internet cheapie pee-sticks and allow yourself to pee on one as soon as you can't bear to wait any longer, in the happy knowledge that you've only wasted 20p or so.
What you really don't want to do is spend £7 on a Clearblue test and do it 3-4 days pre-period, because it's very likely to be negative, and you will be poor very quickly!
I chose the cheapie route because I have no patience whatsoever

Sucks that the witch got you Zyla Some months just feel so right that you can't believe it when it's not! Deffo don't give up the booze though! Life's too short!

Wil, from what I've read, you can ice early or late in a cycle, but your literal phase is personal to you, so it should always stay the same. So if you have iced late, then you'll come on late and have a longer cycle than usual. Day 16 does not put you out! Sperm live 4-5 days, right? Fx for you.

This Fred is moving super fast!

Too right Ness ;)

Tho I was happy to give it up before, I think we're looking at. A more balanced month, with me 'trying' to stress less about it :)

It is moving fast!! Laying in bed now so can't do thorough reply, DH first night home since Sunday too. Catching up to do!

wil - I have had that exact stream of thought before. Like nessa said, you am ov whenever in a cycle but luteral phase stays consistent but even that doesn't have to be 14 days like the average. Mine is 10 by my estimation and I think that is part of the problem - too short!

Well done on the essay babble! What a relief

Zyla you sound like you need a hug and some

wil you sound so frustrated - I know it's contraband but perhaps one month of opk would put mind at rest? I was miserable, thinking I wasn't fertile, then discovered opk and when I got the smiley face it made everything better. That was about 6 months ago so obviously not that simple, but at least I felt everything was working!
If you ov around cd19 but dtd cd16 no way are you screwed - swimmers survive for longer than 3 days. RPopz didn't you say something about that recently?

Today I'm having a glass of wine. I feel like I need a glass of wine, as things are a bit stressful just now and if I were to not act normally at least in some way I might actually scream. Nothing sinister - just a bit too much going on.

It's nice to have people to chat to. My dh did say to me last night though - 'get off that page talking about conception and actually conceive a baby!' ha ha ha ha! It did make me laugh. Oops.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Just read some more AIBU. I LOVE it!

There are lots of mums on there who quite obviously put stuff on because they think its funny, rather than actually worrying. I love those mums.

AIBU to put my child in a red coat when she has a purple pram?