Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

AIBU to think that huskies and malamutes are the new staffies?

No.

Manolo Blahniks are the new Clarks.

Addicted to it. It's brilliant.

Haha, say goodbye to your evening La I've started something now!

Thanks all for your sympathy, and sorry for regaling you with my TMI. It's bloody horrible, just need to vent every now and then. The camping in the forest thing has been postponed due to weather, we're doing it tomorrow night now, so hopefully I'll be feeling a bit better by then.

Oh god I used to be addicted to AIBU, until I had a thread of my own and got thoroughly pasted. There are some nasty harridans on there, so I've hidden it now cos it just pisses me off.

Babble the 'Are you on glue' comment is someone being completely unoriginal and following the herd. It originated in a hilarious thread a year or so ago, as a response to someone who was being genuinely bonkers. Since then, it has been totally over used. Tell the people who are bullying you to fuck right off. or I'll find your thread and go and tell them for you

I look at Chat every so often, but there's a lot of crap there too. MN is a time eater for me, so I have to be careful not to get sucked in!

These days I stick to this thread, and I've been browsing the travel section to help holiday planning! Stay away from the harridans!

Ha ha ha ha!!! 'Dreadfully entitled'. New favourite phrase.

Ladies we'll see you in about 3 weeks. Once you're suckered into AIBU, it's a long old road to recovery. Reading it actually makes me hate mankind. And the parenting things that people get so uptight about! Like you are abusing your child if you let them watch an episode of Peppa Pig. Oh and when they can't find anything else to slag you off about, they begin correcting your spelling and grammar. They all need to get a life as clearly I do as I've spent so much time reading the threads

Sorry it was BFN Zyla .

Ha Babble, I have seen your thread. You're ok, it's not a crazy one.

www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/04/25/fancy-a-slice-of-rainbow-farting-unicorn-cake/

I don't know if this link will work as I've never posted one before but I found us a cake.

Right I'm away to don my cape .

ooh Mich what was your thread about?

ooh Mich what was your thread about? haha not telling in case you think I was unreasonable!!

It had something to do with horses and DP's mother - which, for the sake of brevity, I called "MIL". I was slated for calling her that, since we're not married, and told that I was probably hanging around hoping he would marry me, but that he most likely has already been lined up for one of the other women in the village....

I've had a couple of others (different name) and had some really nasty vicious responses. So I've given up. Not worth wasting the head space on!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa I love the farting unicorn - it's just like my horse! My horse is grey and farts when he gets excited or scared. I wish they were rainbow farts, that's the one drawback.

Good luck wil get those legs in the air afterwards! My dh works nights at weekend hence my new obsession with AIBU as he's not here.

What was your thread about babble?

And Wil that cake is fascinating, and disgusting... and PERFECT for this thread!!!!!

it was just asking about proceedures regarding dp and working away, and whether he'd get a bonus???

Love that unicorn cake!!! do you get kicked off if you symptom spot or use contraband?

do you get kicked off if you symptom spot or use contraband? if you did, there would be none of us left here!!!

I don't plot my temperature on Fertility Friend, oooh noooooo

babble well that sounds pretty harmless and inoffensive?

mich I used to call my MIL 'MIL' when I wasn't married - it's no one else's business xx

Oh it's a dangerous world out there in AIBU! I mainly just look at active threads and most of then are chat or AIBU. Don't tend to post on them much though. It can be really clic-y out there.

Meal out with my Dad tonight. He's moving away next week and I feel a bit sad about it now. How will I (eventually) tell him I'm pregnant?! Email doesnt seem as special!

Dulcet I don't think I'll ever forget how I told my dad the second time,(first time OK I was married) I was single and had asked him to pick me up from the supermarket, and as we were coming to the end of loading up I told him I had something to tell him, I grabbed hold of the trolley and said " I'm pregnant" then jogged whilst shouting behind me "please don't have a go at me because look at how I was conceived!!" completely forgetting that I would then have to sit with him in the van whilst he drove me home!!!

I find myself in relationships a lot, not that I think I'm an expert on relationships, in fact I've only had one successful one, but find myself cyber shaking people in ea situations, then getting frustrated when they take them back! I find that I am reminding myself this is not my life, I can't change people, I can't stop this.

omg omg someone's cat uses the toilet and their is a way of training cats to do this, I'm doing it!!! so excited, sorry do popped out I needed to tell someone

Mich that is awful! God what a bunch of witches. I generally don't have an opinion on whether the 'OP' hate the bullshit acronyms is unreasonable or not but I end up thinking half the responses are totally unreasonable. I once read one where everyone was competing with each other to show how much they didn't spoil their children. It was all 'well I give the DC a mung bean and a used ink cartridge for Christmas and they're thoroughly grateful for it.' 'Why anyone would shop anywhere but the pound shop is beyond me.' And if anyone suggested that an adult should shock horror receive a present, they were totally vilified and told they were entitled and grabby . Luckily don't think AIBU reflects real life. Certainly noone I know anyway! Ooh apparently I needed to rant about that !

Hahaha Babble, symptom spotting surely takes up at least 25% of our time. As for contraband, am going to indulge if I am not successful this month. I am finding this month really difficult. We normally just go for every 2 to 3 days but I wanted to basically give it one month of going crazy at it. But it's just not fun! Goodness me, I'm rambling like a mad woman.

Is your Dad moving to a different country Dulcet?

Haha. How did he take it babble?

Yeah wil, dont want to be too specific in case I out myself but he's moving 8hrs time difference away for a long period of time. I'm mostly ok about it, got to do what's right for him, but if we do one day get pregnant I am afraid he will miss out a little.

Oh, and I saw the cat in the toilet one yesterday. I thought that was awesome but a lot of people were grossed out! I would love it if my cats used the loo!

oooooh!!!! nearly time for a shiny new fred!!

I love it. It's like getting in a freshly made bed when the sheets are all crispy.

Who's gonna start it?

I'm so glad you lot feel the same about the judgemental lion's den that is AIBU. If I read a thread where the OP is being unreasonable.. I just stop reading. I don't feel the need to go on there and berate them incessantly for their decisions... it's just bizarre.

FYI you can 'Hide' whole topics so they don't come up in your Active threads. I did this with AIBU and Conception, as well as all the pregnancy and parenting stuff - if I don't know it's there it can't upset me

I'm not starting the new thread, can't think up a good enough title!!

Suffering mega period pains and javelin arse (TMI but a wonderful term I learned here on MN which perfectly describes it) today, enough to make me scream out in pain.... it's going to be a hot water bottle day for me.

Dulcet sorry to hear your Dad is moving so far away, but I suppose it's something that will make him happy so that should be good.

As for missing out - Skype of Facetime is wonderful these days. I have friends who live in a different country to their parents and they use this all the time for their DCs to chat to their grandparents. It's not quite the same of course, but it does help I think.

Will you get to have nice holidays with your Dad? Hope so.

Blimey you lot have been busy! Give me an hour to get back to you all.... haha...

Morning!