Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

popz I'm only doing an open university course an intro to health and social care, I would like to do social workers stuff for the elderly folk. The poor souls seem to be neglected somewhat and I'd like to be able to work in a way that would make the end of life more comfortable for them, that's the plan anyway. By the time I've finished the course new baby will hopefully be 6 and in school, dp can then be househusband while I work and he studies!

I've had a cracking headache on school run thought it was just a little fringe headache but then I started the car and it was like I got hit round the head with a bat!

I heard that if you pee on an opk stick and it turns up positive there's a chance you could be pregnant, is this true?????

twinge not fringe, although it sounds more apt to the area its in.

babble certainly rings true for me. In fact the second line comes up quicker than the control line and quicker than it ever did when I was icing.
Have you peed on one?

had a pee on one earlier, negative, but I am 8 days away from AF so there is still time (clutches those straws).

Yup apparently that is true, despite my scepticism! Read it on another Fred a while back.

Well the Witch got me bright and early today - no great surprise there, I'm actually quite pleased as it was bang on time.

Unfortunately it once more came complete with pooing blood clots (TMI sorry) I'm still waiting for an endoscopy to diagnose what's wrong - but with blood clots and cramping on my bowels only around my period, I'm pretty certain I have endometriosis. I'm so bloody frustrated because I've been on the waiting list since November. I know that as soon as the gastro doctor diagnoses it, I'll be straight back on a waiting list for a gynae consultant, and all the while the endo could be doing untold damage to my poor little tubes. Pissed off and worried.

Anyway, managed not to let ERTD get me down too much today, my magic Mefenamic Acid pills work wonders on period cramps and the dodgy bowels. If you have problems and don't have this wonder drug yet viroids, get thee to your GP and demand it. Works a dream for me.

Said to DP "Well I'm not PG then" He said "It would be a bloody miracle this month if you were!". So I got him to agree to get back on the JSing horse in earnest next month. Whahey!

Oh I do love a good share of bodily functions

I'm not normally windy but I woke myself up three times in the night. THREE TIMES FFS!! it was like the Great British Fart Off!

Mr Duck has bought me a cheapo easter egg. £2.50 in marks reduced from a tenner, bargain! This is because I have let him play golf tomorrow. It's currently pissing down so he's gonna get wet, if he plays tomorrow. If he doesn't play...well I'll have eaten my egg by then. ha ha ha

mich come round mine and help me eat my easter egg. Sorry you're entertaining AF.

x

Oh mich, that's horrible and a long wait! Do you know how long it will take on the waiting list? I looked it up after you mentioned before and sounded horrible. At least one good thing is the agreement to get the cape back on with intent!

Opks can pick up being pg but not always apparently so better to do pg test. I think generally they do though.

Sorry to hear about AF Mich... are you still doing the camping out thing too?? That is shitty, waiting for referrals. I think that's my biggest issue with all this ttc/ fertility stuff... the constant WAITING...

Mwhahaha Duck, loving your evil plan. DH bought me a reduced creme egg yesterday haha. Scoffed it!

Going to pizza hut tonight because OH GOD I NEED PIZZA... too early for craving Definitely not on my healthy eating this week!

Omg... is anyone else addicted to the AIBU threads? I've literally wasted an entire afternoon reading and laughing at them!

Ha oh God, this would be a really bad week to be quoted in some article - our bodily functions immortalised. I have seen my Mum for the first time since Easter and she arrived with an egg for me. Score.

Mich that sounds so shit. My friend got to see someone much quicker than that. You need to move to Scotland!

HAha Rpopz. I have been through that stage already. They mostly annoy me now but when I first found it, I thought it was hysterical. A bunch of REALLY opinionated people telling other people off for being judgemental.

I love AIBU.... there are some hilarious threads that make you think get a bloody grip!

Oh dear, just started a thread by asking a really stupid question on behalf of dp, got asked if I was on glue. not sure what emoticon I should use, and i need to remember to never ask on Mn if dp wants to question something!

What did you ask???

It was in regards to his work and nights out, and whether he should get paid for it, dp was sure that he should get some sort of call out pay and I wasn't sure how it worked and thought the company were a bit on the iffy side anyway.

turns out that they are doing what everyone else is doing, and I'm sniffing glue (even gave me a head tilt )

POAS again this morning, is 2 days pre AF, the test says it's 97% accurate at this stage. BFN, feel so flat.

The Great British Fart Off!!! ah ha ha hahaha ha ha haaaa! That just made my day!!! ayles that made me laugh, thank you.

Popz

babble that's really admirable, I love your reasoning for doing the course.

mich so sorry about your witch and your poo-blues - it doesn't sound nice at all :( I don't know a lot about endometriosis but I've two friends who had it and they have both got pregnant once they'd addressed it.

Blooming men - I've been married 1 year next week. Dh said he would book a night away - he did. Guess what? He booked the wrong bloody day!!! Honestly...
I would love to go to work and for dh to be house-dh, but he would probably leave baby on a bus or something...

I thought when you're pg the opk shows up negative - but now I know better!

Watching Gogglebox. Oh my god I've never seen it before, it's hilarious!

What's AIBU? Am I the only one who only reads this Fred? It's the most interesting and you're all much more fun.

Oooh just googled it - if you have to go on a thread that's titled 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' surely you're definitely unreasonable!?

Glue sniffing? Sounds perfectly reasonable...

Oh zyla :( keep positive - still early! xx

Just read my post back - I sound unhinged. I have to keep scrolling up and then down and writing, so they always seem a bit like I've got ADD.

lala it was the head tilt that made me although I do look back on things and wonder if I have some sort of chemical imbalance going on!

Ha ha ha ha ha just read the one about cat poo! Cat poo! Get a grip! It's a poo! When you have a baby you'll have loads of them to deal with!

Direction:

1. Fetch a spade (any spade, doesn't need to be Laura Ashley)
2. Push spade underneath offending poo
3. Pick up spade, with poo balanced atop
4. Flick poo into bush at end of garden. Alternatively should there be no bush (i.e. if your garden is one of those minimalist types) open bin lid and shove poo inside bin.
5. Put spade away.

Haha its great isn't it La! I originally got suckered in by a post about that wench who's having an abortion to appear on big brother (who incidentally I'd like to burn at the stake right now) .... Not so hilarious.

Boo, sorry Zyla xx