Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

Awww, sorry to hear that ayles

Passes and

Sorry Ayles :-( and hugs.

Shagging every day is all well and good if it works straight away... but it really didn't work for us (obviously) and actually put a lot of strain on the relationship somehow. Not sustainable for anyone surely!

sorry ayles

hi to everyone else.

still feeling like crap here

I am finding that too Rpopz. That's why I wonder if contraband might stop me trying too early so it doesn't become a chore.

Oh Duck that is shit. Have and a , only because I've never seen it before. Aargh why isn't this whole thing easier for us all?!

So Rpopz what samples/tests have you had already? I take it the 'infertility' comment just referred to the nature of the tests/investigations?

(((((( Hugs )))))) to Ayles sorry it didn't work this month.

(((((( Hugs )))))) for Lil too, don't let it get you down.

Popz what did your results say? We can help analyse the numbers.

Min wanting to rip my arm and twat the husband over the head with the soggy end is just a standard Wednesday over here you a funny lady, don't leave us, you make me laugh!

I have Gigantaspot brewing on my nose - defo a sign that the witch is imminent.

Oh as for sustaining a JS marathon - I managed 9 in one month, nearly killed us. Physically knackering, both totally lost the will to do it, and my .. erm.. environment wasn't exactly conducive towards the end of the marathon.

Have never attempted it since.. going to try EOD for a while, but we usually give up straight after I think I've Ov'd. which obviously isn't working so I should shut up now

Wil / Mich I've just had my day 21 bloods taken today. And am having day 2 bloods taken when the time comes. Not sure what will happen after that. At 7 months I don't technically qualify for these tests, am only having them for "mental health" reasons. The nurse wrote "infertility" as reason for testing on my request form... I know its just standard but was a bit brutal to see it in black and white!

No results yet, was just checking my sample had arrived in the lab which it has. We don't actually test them in our lab, they get sent to the across city site. So will be a few days before they get done I think.

And Wil - thats why I started the contraband. To take the pressure of DH for shagging when 75% of it was probably at totally the wrong time!

Ah I see Popz, that's ok then. Try not to worry.

I've had the tests too, even though I hadn't been trying that long. my GP was lovely about it. I've had 2 'day 21' tests now, both times got dodgy progesterone result, so my GP says I can keep trying until we hit the right day. Trying not to worry about the poor result, I think it was down to being on the wrong day - hence the contraband, to get it bang on the right day.

Might as well make the most of the NHS, I haven't asked it for much in my 35 years!

something/zenry how exciting!!! I was on my phone earlier and your pic did't show up - I did wonder at the time what 'news' you were talking about and now I can see! Hooray, congratulations!

dulcet and Popz I put ad up about pony today and have already heard from two promising loan homes that are within about 30 mins from my house, so I could still see him :) I think I might be able to do the comp - depends when he goes out on loan. All in all I feel a lot more positive now.

I need to get over my funk and get cape back on!

mich you're kicking a box of bees!? Brave lady! I loved your bit about being a 'professional' conservationist. I spend my life talking about animal welfare - but in my own time I have two neurotic cats and a horse who nearly ate a plastic bag and a hose nozzle last week because I left them within reach. Oops.

I think I'm on CD8 but I've stopped checking and counting - I need to get back in the game!

Popz what does that mean? was that them stating the reason for the test, or the results? Hope youre ok xx

oh duck I'm so so sorry :( that's rotten. Have some xxx

Bugger I was on the second to last page of Fred, not last. So all my questions were answered on page 36, sorry for asking again feel free to ignore!

wil I am your spot twin. I have a big bugger on my chin. Mr Duck is longing to squeeze it but I look at him like this >> and he goes off to do something else.

AF has decided that along with tummy cramps we're going to have pains in my back and wind (tmi I know but I can't stop farting!)

Think

Well my face has decided to try and be a pizza today, I had 3 whiteheads just up the crease of my nostril, one on my chin and one on the end of my nose, I'm so glad I noticed them on the school run. I thought I was going to have a beauty of a zit on my forehead this morning, as I felt it brewing last night. Sodding hormones!

Back on slimming world with a vengeance after a 5lb gain, can't do anything drastic just in case, but if I get bfn or AF I think I'll clean 9 again.

I'm freezing today, its so cold, and I've got a headache coming on, I think its the stress of all this uni work I have to get through in less than a week !!!!!!! rarrrrggghhh

What are you doing at uni Babble?

What happened there Wil??

Sorry to all the spotties... that'll be me next week!

Sorry, my stupid phone is messing around. I meant to say, think it was Mich with the spot, but I also have 3 of the feckers so I can be spot triplets, or even quadruplets with you all. Not even AF time.

Ooh Babble, when I was pg, I was freezing all the time. Sorry for fuelling the mental.

Well I had the nicest smear test ever today. Nurse was lovely and it seems it's a whole lot less painful since childbirth. She used to be a midwife so we were chatting about the mc and ttc and she was very reassuring and helpful.

Oh also meant to say that I'm giving you a kick up the bum Lala, get back to the shagging.

Right, I want a live chat Q&A button on my body so when something weird happens I can press it and a little face pops up and explains. Like on the Kindle Fire advert! I just had some weird bumping inside my belly, like someone was knocking to get out. What is that all about?! I want to press a button and say 'what was that?' and then it can tell me. Also means I can press it everyday and say 'am I pregnant yet?' and the little dude will come out and say 'No'. Until one day he says 'Yes'!!

Good job we are only virtual friends then viroids, don't have to stare at each others spotty faces. Mine will happen next week. Usually only one but it's a big one and it stupid places like middle of chin, forehead, end of nose. You know how it goes!

Boo to the farting duck, but I get that over icing as well! It's very attractive...

What CD are you on Dulcet?

CD 21 but for me that is only 4DPO I think. Not thinking it is baby related necessarily but just felt odd and I would love to know what the odd things were!

Isn't it weird how many odd things your body does... but you never notice it until you're actually monitoring it! Before ttc I never realised how much of the month I spend with stomach cramping...

9dpo here.... arrrgh.... TWOTy Twot...

A nice smear test! wil that did make me chuckle a bit, but I do know what you mean - I really like my dentist so even though I hate fillings it's not as bad.

Spots? I had loads last month. Hormones suck.

Farting, spots and smears - we should give seminars on dinner conversational skills

Thanks for my kick, much needed!