TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :)

[mama31]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive for a lengthy period of time who may be considering/attending further tests/scans or is about to begin fertility treatment. I hope this thread can provide information and support, alleviate fears and can help one another to remain positive during this difficult journey that can only be understood by those experiencing it.

Please join and share your story, knowledge, support, laughter and tears.

Hi ginger. I know that I'm setting myself as once had this before but just not so obviously. Anyway, I test this morn with FMU at 13dpo and bfn so losing hope ... Will keep you all posted.

DH thinks we are this month because I half mentioned sore bbs last week which had made me want even more if that's poss!!!

mama so impressed with your no ICs resolve. Long may it continue... But if not, we're here for the crazy!!!

M33R sorry about the bfn. Is sore boobs unusual for you?? I always get them pre af, so I'm waiting for no sore boobs in the 2ww! Lol apparently all these symptoms are related to hormone changes which happen anyway in the 2ww....listen to me being all sensible....when it's my 2ww I will be symptom spotting like crazy and relating everything to pregnancy!!! How can I go from being so sane to so crazy within a matter of days?!

M33R still holding out so much hope for you, good luck x

Happy Friday ladies, anyone doing anything nice?

Ps M33R the no purchase of IC's sounds good now....wont be so good when I am spending crazy amounts on preg tests from the local store because I have no IC's!!

Hugs to you m33r, BFNs are so gutting, still hoping for you, hang in there x

Hurray for Friday!! I've got a lovely eve in with dh tonight, film and a curry Then lunch with a good friend tomorrow, home to see my mum&dad then a walk and a roast on Sunday. What's everyone else up to?

Jesse it was you saying about the sharing thing wasn't it? I'm a sharer too, not very good at hiding things. Initially I didn't tell a soul as wanted it all to be a big surprise when we made our announcement, but that was back in the days when I thought we'd only be waiting a month or two Then as it went on and got harder, I got more tearful each month, and then felt the need to talk to people so I have told my close friends. They have mostly been v good, but then I sometimes regret it as I don't think anyone really gets it unless they've been through it. As much as someone tries to empathise and understand, I imagine it is hard to know what to say, so all the cliches come out about just relaxing, or going on holiday, and I find myself withdrawing at that point and questioning why I told them. But at other times I'm v glad they know as I'm sure it has saved some well-meaning but inappropriate comments about when we're having a baby. So I try and tell myself stop beating yourself up, they know now, they're your friends, yes they might not get it completely, but it is nice to know that they are hoping for us....just hope we're not waiting too long to tell them some good news Bizarrely I haven't told my friend yet who had similar issues getting pregnant and attended a fertility clinic! Seeing her tmrw though, keep debating whether to share, just don't want to open the floodgates as it is all so emotionally draining that just want to forget it and have a nice time when meeting up!! Will see how the mood takes me tmrw. Positively she has two lovely little ones now, so keep the faith ladies!!

Oh yes forgot to say, I caved on the every other day bit and we dtd last night. I always get this panic that we're going to miss the egg!! Had a positive opk Wed morning so theoretically the egg should be released in the next 48hrs ish right? So we dtd Wed eve, then if we'd have left it to fri eve we'd have prob missed our chance so we went for it last night and then planning Sat morn too (my fav, just like old days, we are so weekend morning people!! this whole ttc thing holds a mirror up to your dtd preferences doesn't it?!) You can't win with this though can you, I am now annoyed that I didn't stick to the eod thing, but then if we hadn't dtd last night I know I'd have been annoyed about that too!!!!!! I make my own head hurt lol

Haha one I am with you on the head hurting bit! It's so strange when you listen to yourself planning out when to have sex! I am going for the less is more approach this month, I keep reading about people who gave up for a month, didn't have much sex around the fertile period and then got a surprise BFP. I had a positive opk on wed and thurs morning, dtd tues night and will go again this afternoon, but I have been worrying that I have left it too long! As soon as I get a positive I feel I just want to jump on DH to maximise our chances!
Your weekend sounds lovely one, hope the weathers kind to you for your walk. I am also seeing a friend today and have been debating telling her, I find the longer it goes on if people ask I just feel inclined to tell them now rather than lie and come up with some rubbish excuse.
Sorry about the bfn m33r, still a few days early yet, hope this is your month for a positive, that would be so lovely. I get sore boobs when I ovulate, and as soon as they stop hurting means AF is on her evil way.

I know ginger, I never ever imagined I would be planning our sex life!! This is so not the dreamy 'make love and oh look here's your wonderful baby' thing that I thought it would be!!! It's quite comical really, I told (and I mean told, how utterly romantic!!) dh that we would be dtdeeding last night whilst chopping up onions for tea, who says romance is dead?!

I'm with you on telling people if they ask after a while, that's what happened to me, just couldn't keep a front up. Hope whatever happens tmrw you have a nice time with your friend

Hello all, sorry to see so many familiar names here - you know what i mean. Good thread mama.

I am resolved not to test til late. All i seem to read on here is heartache when people get an early bfp then af arrives later.

Don't even think i have any tests in the house! Af due tuesday 18th and if not here by thurs will test.

We'll get there ladies.

Re support. My mum sister and a friend know. But recently my mum asked how the baby making was going. I haven't told her much just that i am not on contraception.

Think shes a bit surprised. She got pregnant first go with three children. My sister had two (seperate) nights of unprotected sex and has two sons...... I think they were expecting me to have a baby by now.

This is the first month I have actually tried not to plan out when we DTD, but mainly because DH has started at a new firm (he's a lawyer) and is working crazy hours to get up to speed with everything. I didn't want him to feel more pressure than he is already under. So it's only been twice in (what I think is!!!) my fertile period.

Still no OPKs+ this month.... I don't know what's going on there. I get all the other ovulation signs and tests seem to show I ovulate :-S

Nottalotta- my mum was the same so I think this big long wait has her baffled! And my husband's family kind of measure your worth and value as a woman on how many sprogs you can pop out (they are a large Irish Catholic family)! So it doesn't matter what project I could be working on, where I've travelled that month or who I've met... if I ain't making babies, they're not interested! They kind of nod half-heartedly at my work chat and then.... "Sooo, when are you guys thinking of..."

Anyway, TGIF! Wine and mini twirls tonight, I think :-)

I had to laugh at the planning the sex life. My favourite was this month when I had to set the alarm to get up early. I had also told DH the night before over dinner that we''do be dtd-ing tonight and that the alarm would be set for the next morning too! Good thing is that DH is supportive so it's still funny... We did however have two months where we really had to rally the troops! That was very depressing.

notta you are so right about testing early and I never do it for risk of cp and also for the unnecessary heartache of bfn but this month I was / so sure. And I've been on here long enough to know exactly how I sound but you can't help it sometimes.

For me sore bbs were hardly even 'sore' so I'm not exactly counting it as a symptom but I was 'aware' of them iyswim...

Stomach cramps, nausea, headaches all gone. Normal tiredness. It's not looking great for it. I would like to think I won't test tomorrow but prob will - please send me willpower and good sense!!

Hey lindaay. That's so frustrating when you're doing axing things and have interesting things to say but all the chat is when are the babies coming. People just don't think.

Honestly though, if I hadn't gone through this myself I wouldn't realise and would be at risk of being part of the 'try to relax crew'

Anyway out tonight for friend's 30th so will have a little wine (am I being judged?)

'Axing' meant 'amazing'

Hi girls, can I join in please?

Cd5 of cycle #16. I'm 33 (34 next month), DH is 35 and we've been married 6 years.

I've had blood tests this month and day21 shows I ovulate, which is great. We are waiting for DH to get a date through for his analysis. Need to know like right now though!!

Just told my mum the situation last month but she worries too much for me! Really want hubby to tell his mum as she is constantly going on about grandchildren and I think she should know so she stops! It hurts too much these days, the longer it goes on.

Nice to meet you all :-)

No judging here, M33R! I'm going out for dinner with hubby tonight and will definitely be partaking!

Hi Victoria :) My husband hasn't told anyone really, but I don't think he feels the need to. He is definitely NOT a sharer and more the dark and brooding type! LOL He is also so chilled about all this TTC stuff (which offsets my crazy!) and feels like it will finally happen for us. My mum worries too... it's their job I guess!

Hi victoria. Welcome aboard. My mum is great but but does she have her moments re grandchildren! So hard to understand if you haven't been through it though ... Lucky we have each other !

Just got all my bloods back and I'm perfect! Woohoo! No reason why I shouldnt get preg! Just got hubby to worry about now. I do hope he's not firing blanks.

I'm also partaking in wine tonight. Going to the pub with my bestest girlfriend since forever. Her to take a break from her three kids, me to forget I haven't got any!

Ah the irony victoria! Happy knowing you ovulate day!

Welcome Victoria and congrats on blood results, great news :)

Hi notta!

Of course I will be partaking in wine tonight. Making a nice beef stroganof so red wine is essential :) having a relaxing wkend as have a busy wkend next week so taking it easy chilling with DH.

M33R thinking of you, hope af stays well away hon!

Still no sign of DH SA kit from GP!! Frustrating! Just really want to find out if there are any issues with his sperm and it's taking forever just for a kit to arrive....such a joke! DH even commented by the time it arrives he will be firing blanks as he will be so old (he's only 34 and was exaggerating re the delivery time for the kit being years!)

Onelife I have a confession to make also....we just dtd!!!!! Couldn't even stick to eod once! Grrr....we are so weak! Ok not going to beat myself up about it, I'm only on cd6 so if I do eod from now that will be ok.....must stick to it....no sex until Sunday!

mama31 - thanks for the clarification re dtd. Was beginning to wonder if we're the only ones who had lost the will a bit, but can still appreciate the need to get on it over those cricual days ;-) And planning is absolutely necessary!! The key is being able to still laugh about it!

Sympton spotting followed by bfn are the worst aren't they - feel for you m33r

welcome victoria and congrats!

Happy weekend and wine to all!!

Definately not judging m33r I have been guzzling the coffee like there's no tomorrow this cycle, and got drunk on red wine 3 nights in a row last week!
DH finished work early today, and he needs to go and get a haircut, so he briefly considered using his extra free time to get one done, but then thought he would come home to 'service me' (his words) instead!! I appreciate his enthusiasm!
Lindsay my DH is also chilled out about the whole thing, he thinks I am being a crazy neurotic woman, only slightly true....
Excellent results victoria! Enjoy your evening, and wine

Out of interest has anyone read any books on fertility? I cleared out the shelves at my local library of any relevant ones, and they have just made me feel worse, they seem to enjoy suggesting there is no rhyme nor reason as to why some people conceive and others don't, but it is actually really all your fault. All the statistics over caffeine/alcohol/acupuncture/IVF change from book to book too!!

Ginger I haven't read any books related to fertility specifically. But I have read book about positive thinking and visualisation related to basically any goals you want to achieve. And when I have followed this in other areas in my life I have got good results so I do believe that it relates to everything- including fertility. I think preparing for, hoping, praying and believing it will happen...will result in it happening. it may take time, but I do believe it will happen.

Also my GP told me last week "no one really understands fertility" and given the fact people go through IVF then some concieve naturally after failed IVF attempts and some are told they can never have children naturally due to medical issues but still manage to concieve....id say my GP is right.

Fate is fate, we don't have control over this......and if I had any sense I'd stop obsessing, "trying" and would leave it to nature/fate.

Mama I like your attitude! I might try some of those positive thinking books, I am currently convincing myself it will never happen and am trying to accept that and look to the future, which isn't at all positive thinking really! I have discussed this with DH, who thinks it is a load of codswollop, (typical man) but my mum is a firm believer in fate and that it will happen one day. I suppose in the good ole days they had no choice but to leave it to nature, and just hope and pray that it would happen.

I realised yesterday my blood tests are booked in for day 20, not 21, and as I don't ovulate til day16 they needed to be done on day 23 really, but I can't change my appointment now, so I hope it doesn't affect the results too much . Wonder if I'd be better cancelling and doing them next month on the correct day?

Hope the wine was flowing freely last night for everyone

Ginger, yes it will make a difference to your results! Happened to me. GP told me to book the "day 21" 7 days before my earliest expected period. Because I am usually 28/29 with a few 30's I booked actual day 21. However the results came back with lower progesterone and I was gutted. But then I went back again day 25 for a repeat and it was high! I thought I ovd as late as day 18 this month and that was confirmed by 33 day cycle this month.

GP should have told you this. Mine said you need several days of bloods. Day 21, 25 and day 29 I was told as it depends of when you ov. As progesterone is released by the follicle it takes 7 days to reach its peak. Please book another date too, I don't want you worrying like i did! How long are your cycles?