Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

Hi everyone!

I've not read back over the whole thread, but am coming back on to say hello to the original cast and welcome to the newbies!
For those who don't know me, I recently had DD3 (DC4) at the age of 46.
We've just been for our 6 week postnatal check at the doctors and the subject of contraception came up. My GP stressed the importance of contraception,she said the oldest natural conception she knew of was at 56 and that conception in your mid to late 40's is a definite possibility! Just thought that might offer some encouragement.

Linda ,congratulations!
Jass well done on the half marathon, wow!
Gum hope you're feeling better soon,glad the problem at work was resolved.
JBrd it must be a very difficult time for you. I wonder if your DH is trying to be positive,put on a brave face and make the most of things to provide support for you in a way.Men and women seem to react to pregnancy loss in different ways. My DH felt our losses very keenly but his way of coping after a while was to put it out of his mind and move on,I think it's harder for the woman to do that.I think he also didn't want to open us up to the possibility of further heartache.
I hope counselling helps and that you get a chance to relax with your family on holiday.Thinking of you x

Sorry not to namecheck more people,good luck to everyone ttc!

Grizzer and the grinch, I do know what you are saying. The fact that I have to persuade myself of the positives of ds being an only shows how much I would like another. He won't have any cousins so once we are gone he'll have no family. So I would like him to have a sibling.

I have never heard of cough medicine for conception?! What is this strange magic?

The cough bottle just helps to loosen the cervical mucus if you are usually quite dry around ovulation time. Chesty cough bottle with the only active ingredient being Gauifensin I think it's called, lol. I took it twice a day from cd5 until ov

Congratulations, Linda, on your pregnancy! i think that is exactly what justpick needed to hear -'we said there are many who briefly join and go missing due to getting their bfp and settling for uneventful pregnancy. The bunch of us longtimers hence give the false impression it is really difficult. It is for us, but not necessarily for others!

irish, neve mind contraception discussion, how is your baby doing? i guess you both were checked up?

7dpo here. bad cold, business trip tomorrow, but thereafter 3 long days of weekend. Bliss! Luxembourg has a habit of giving every religious reason for days off - it is whit Monday next week, so sunshine and freedom for us:-)

Thank you jassS if I'm honest it hasn't been any easy couple of weeks since getting my BFP, been bleeding on and off with some pains but had an early scan and baby seems ok, just have to try and relax. I'm convinced because it happened so quick that something will go wrong

I hope, Linda, that the bleeding episodes ars over! have you demanded progesterone support? it should stop the bleeding and give you some peace of mind. I would go to GP and insist, honestly.

Congratulations Linda quite a hilarious conception story for you to pass on when your baby is all grown up (jumping ahead a bit there!) lube, cough medicine & soft cups!! I've never heard of them but will definitely look into it! I hope everything is ok & it's just your body adapting. Glad the scan was positive & everything seems fine x
Jass well done on the half marathon. Running has never been my thing but I must get the motivation to go back to the gym.
Just pick & grinch dd is lucky she has 4 cousins between the ages of 6 and 10 who all mother her so she is not alone but is still desperate for a sibling, well a sister if she's feeling particularly demanding!!
Actually, she sat on the sofa this morning & said 'you're going to have a baby soon.' I know it's just wishful thinking but wouldn't that be a great story to tell. I have to confess I'm getting my hopes up this month & I'm really not sure why....

I have a gp appointment next week so I'll say to him then, hopefully it'll help

Oh grizzer I so know that at some point in the future, and probably infront of dc's friends, when I'm full of wine I will merrily tell this story, lol

Ah, Grizzer, sometimes these bairns have a sixth sense and coupled with your hopes...I am feeling excited for you

Linda, you've inspired me - I am going to get the cough syrup out and start taking it tomorrow (day 5), then I am going to shag my husband every second day...or...pee on some opk's and when it is getting close to positive, start the regular shagging. Just don't know if I can manage the every second day plan with so much going on at work. If my fertile time could be a week later, that might work. I am glad your scan showed all is well, bleeding in early pregnancy is so common.

Nice to hear from you Irish. It is very heartening to hear that us older ladies need contraception.

Calibee, are you out there in virtual land? We haven't heard from you in a while. I hope all is well.Are you having the IUI treatment?

Have a good day everyone.

Gum here's a little bit more TMI for you! We only actually dtd twice in April the rest of the time oh just, ahem, wanked into the softcup, came up and woke me, I added conceive plus, popped the cup in and went back to sleep, lol. He was working dodgy hours and we have 2 little ones who don't sleep very well so hardly get a chance to shag

Hello again ladies! I joined back in March and my stay was very short-lived as I got a BFP that month. But it resulted in a mmc so I'm back again. I took a month off and now I'm ready to jump on my DH and shag him every other night again!!

Linda, a story at least for the 18th birthday!! I do hope your pregnancy is settling down so you can really enjoy it.
I don't think this is my month - think we missed the window, actually. I managed to acquire a herniated disc which isn't particularly conducive to DTD! Fortunately it was a mild one, so we should be back on track now. Doesn't stop me obsessing slightly through the 2WW though... Only 7 days to go before I would be officially late...
See, there is no hope for my brain!!

Thanks lindamagoo!

Sorry, that thanks was from the other day! It was sitting in my iPad when I just went in to it again, so sent it then before reading posts..

AnnieHoo really sorry to hear about your mmc. That must have been tough. Glad to hear you are shagging again though!

Linda, I hope your pregnancy is proceeding well now.
It is interesting about the soft cups. I investigated DIY AI as sex was so painful for so long after ds was born (think 13 months....) but happily things are back to normal now I have totally stopped bf. ( though would have loved to conceive whilst bf, sigh). Anyway one DIY method I read about was to use a diaphragm to hold sperm in place. I imagine we will resort to this as I am back at work soo and will be knackered working and looking after ds!
Grizzle, that would be a great story!
And Grinch, there is no hope for any of our brains, I think! Obsession is the name of the game!

Sorry for your loss Annie. Glad you've come back though & hope you get your bfp soon.
I'm about 11dpo I think. Went to the loo earlier & there was a spot of blood in my knickers. Nothing since. Have quite a strong feeling in my left groin, kind of an ache. Also had a strong wave of nausea when I had my breakfast this morning. I'm adding all these things together & coming up with a whole load of madness! If by some small miracle that spot was implantation, there's no way there would be any other symptoms yet would there?
Here I go again, setting myself up for the crash! Lots of weird signs this month though. I have hope x

Actually, *Grizzer, there could be symptoms this early, even if implantation only just happened. A lot of people say it isn't possible, but I know I get symptoms quite early (and I am basing this on the 10 pregnancies I've had). I often get small waves of nausea before a bfp. And it isn't necessarily after implantation. Also, implantation spotting can occur a day or two after implantation.

It is exciting, and I do hope this is it for you.

Thanks ladies, feeling fine now and raring to go. It's so good to find an over 40's group.

Lindamagoo just read your conception method. That is pure genius. I'm so gonna try DIY AI this month. Congratulations !

Lol Annie do it honestly it's a lot less stressful than on demand sex

Grizzer, sounds like it could very possibly be implantation bleed. Everything crossed in good luck for you!

Evening Ladies

Hope you are doing well and big hello to the new joiners Thought I would swing by now I am back from my holidays - I had an amazing time here . I am still injecting so had to rush back to my room every afternoon at the same time which was a bit of pain but frankly not that much of one given the setting! Unbelievably I started bleeding whilst I was there - FFS even when I am essentially in the menopause I am bleeding . I did get a bit worried that it wasn't working so e-mailed the clinic and they assured me that it was normal to shed uterine lining whilst down regging so there wasn't much I could do except get on with relaxing a bit more - more yoga, more massages and a bit more sun and sea . These drugs don't half mess with you - I am having vivid dreams (and not very nice ones) and have started getting night sweats. I feel exhausted all the time as well as looking it!

I went back to the clinic this afternoon to have yet another scan and my lining is thinned down to the right thickness (2.5mm) and my ovaries are not doing anything which is also what they were aiming for. They will ring me tomorrow to check to let me know if we are ready to go to stage 2 (taking oestrogen whilst still injecting while my donor starts stimming). All things being we could be at embryo transfer in about 3 weeks (if we manage to make some)

I haven't taken my temperature or peed on any stick for nearly a month and it feels very weird after obsessively doing both for the best part of two years!

xx

Oh wow Green, what a fabulous place for a holiday. Sounds like just the thing to do before having an embryo transfer.

Well, I had a nice little encounter yesterday. DS was at yet another bloody a birthday party, and I had a lovely chat with a lady I'd never met before. She had her beautiful three month old daughter with her. I had the pleasure of cuddling her for a bit. Anyway, we got talking, as women do, and I must admit having wondered about her age,as she does look a bit older more mature than the other mums, and she had her baby at 44! I was chuffed to hear of another over 40's mum. And you know what, she wasn't trying to get pregnant! She said it's a bit embarassing as she is a mid-wife and didn't plan the baby. However, she's pleased, and who wouldn't be, her DD is absolutely gorgeous.

As uplifting as that was, I was also pleasantly surprised to not have the usual pang of longing I used to get when seeing new babies or holding them. She was quite fussy (it was that time of the day) which didn't bother me in the least, but I did have a realisation of, 'gosh, my life would be very different with a baby'. Having said that, I'd be more than happy to have one, it just feels good to know that I may be coming to acceptance that I might not have another baby in my 40's.

I asked her about testing, and she said she'd had the Harmony done here, for free as the big maternity hospital in the city were trialling it. I'll bet if I do get pregnant, the trial will be over and it will cost $1000. However, I'd still get it done. If it means no invasive procedure like CVS or Amnio, then it is worth it.

I don't know if I'll get a shot at ttc this month, and honestly, I am feeling very relaxed about it. DH and I still have such huge workloads at the moment, though I am hoping it will settle by the weekend. It means that I go to bed early and get up early, and he stays up later working and sleeps in as long as he can. It really does mean very little bedroom action DH's father has just gone into the Hospice too.So that is a real worry for DH. I think it's more that his mum is on her own and not doing all that well herself, and she's still on the farm, which is an hour away from us. So, along with all the workload issues, he's worried about them. I can't say he's been very easy to live with, but I am cutting him a lot of slack under the circumstances. He probably needs a right good rogering actually...

Maybe I'll take some cough medicine, just in case...can't really do any harm, can it?

Glad you had a lovely holiday Green despite the daily injection. Sounds like everything is going well though - next holiday you may well have a baby with you!!
Things sound totally hectic Gum. Hope you get to have a rest soon x
We're just back from getting results of dd's kidney biopsy. She has been put on steriods for a few months but they don't anticipate any permanent damage or long term effects from the steroids so that's good.
My problem is she needs 6 tablets a day (in one go) & she's refusing them. I've crushed them & put them in juice but she still won't have it. I feel awful as I now have her in 'time out' but I can't have this battle every day for months! Any advice please??

Grizzer, I am glad your DD is ok, but 6 tablets a day???That's hard. I've no idea how I'd manage that. I think I'd probably use bribery: my son has a star chart. Every time he does the right thing, he gets a star, when he's got 20 he gets a little something he wants (like a game on the ipad). I guess you could also try popping it on the back of her tongue and getting her to swallow with some juice?

Sorry, I don't have a clue really. Perhaps you should start a thread, I'll bet there are many mums on mumsnet full of good ideas and experience.

Jass sorry not to reply for a few days ,we're doing fine, after a slow start to gain weight baby is getting bigger and chubbier now. She's started smiling and interacting more and is an absolute joy,our little miracle! I'm ok apart from the sleep deprivation!
Grizzer glad your daughter is ok but it must be a pain giving so many tablets. My DD2 was on steroids after a bad asthma attack, though she was a bit older, 6ish. We found bribery worked! I crushed the tablets in a small amount of liquid so she could swallow it quickly and then had choclate waiting to pop straight in her mouth to take the taste away.
Green exciting times, good luck with it all!
Hi to Gum and everyone else, got to run and make up some packed lunch for DD1!
Oh btw, met a lady yesterday whose mum was 45 when she had her last child, and whose grandma was 48!