'TTC after a miscarriage - heres to bouncing 2007 babies'

[pepperpots]

Well here is the new thread
Here is wishing everyone all the luck in the world and i hope everyone's stay is short (meant in the nicest possible way!)

Lots of sticky baby dust to everyone
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Okay, I think I am seeing things a little clearer now. I think in my case it's most likely just lefover hormones, since the test definitely did not get darker and taking from what other womean report. (I assume that AF doesn't come back until your hormones are below some critical value and it seems that it takes for some women up to 8-12 weeks before AF).

I had no aftercare at all. I had the ERPC, then was sent home. No tests or scans. I went back later to my GP since I am not copying well emotionally and he wrote me sick. (My GP changes every single time I go there.) I am not familiar with the UK system but in the German and US system you get much more care. In Germany you get routinely a scan at 5-6 weeks (implantation scan) and then one every 4 weeks.

As you might have guessed, I have no kids and it was my first try. I have no friends who had a m/c and I am still under shock and slowly learning how common it is etc. I have to say that I feel left completely alone by the health system and this is why I am so happy to have found mumsnet.

I don't want to blame anybody for what happened but from what I am learning they might have suspected a blighted ovum, if they had only checked the change of my hormone levels once or scanned me earlier. It would have been so much easier for me to have learned sooner, since naive as I was I had celebrated the completion of the 1st trimester and told everybody.

d4phne, so sorry, that sounds such a tough experience.
By the way, I don't think you should be feeling guilty or responsible for wanting to start trying immediately and causing your current confusion. I get the impression from MN that most women start trying immediately, so I think it is 100% normal and understandable. I think the care that you have had was pretty poor, frankly, and had you been talked to and checked properly in the first place then you would be feeling less confused now. It is odd how it varies so much from trust to trust - some women on here have mentioned getting some sort of counselling at their hospitals, but then there are people like you who are practically turfed out onto the street.
Your doctor may tell you to wait a while longer, I really don't know, he/she may send you for a scan. At the very least they should give you their professional opinion of what could be considered 'normal' after and ERPC (although there doesn't seem to be any normal after a m/c).

Have you been pointed in the direction of the Miscarraige Association? They have booklets and information and they may be able to find someone locally to you to talk to, if you feel you need to talk further.

Edie - let us know what your GP says tomorrow.

Hi All

Edie and daph i realize you are now in bed but hope you are both ok.
Edie i would have to say you can't count all the way back to when baby stopped growing, my impression is your body still thinks it's pregnant until m/c or d&c happens.
I also thought i might have got preg first cycle after m/c as after bd had ov pains and thought i better do a preg test straight away to see if there was any hcg left from before, anyway neg that was about 4 weeks after m/c. Probably that doesn't help you now. Anyway hopefully gp can do a bood test for you. good luck

I am not getting my hopes up. Trying not to think about it until I see my doctor. He is really good. Thanks everyone for all the advice. xx

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Apparently hormones begin decresing when mc happens but won't start to disappear until after op. Thats what I got from PAM website. Prof Lesley Regan says that the earlier the mc, the smaller the hormone amount is. Will find out later hopefully!! Wish me luck!! Still not getting hopes up as test was not very positive xx

Rubles,Uki, thanks so much for the encouraging words and the reference to the miscarriage association. I had contacted them and they were extremely helpful providing me with lots of information etc. I am going to see a counsellor today (privately), since I think I need some prof help. Friends are trying to help, but nothing seems to work. Sorry to be so self-centred.

Anyway, thanks again to you all -- you support has been incredibly helpful (so something seem to help after all...)! Will be logging in to see how you all are doing but probably be posting less, since it might be weeks and weeks for me before having a chance ttc again.

Edie - Thinking of you and eager to hear what you'll learn. I hope your news are better!!!!

D4phne

Glad MN has helped you. You don't sound like a self-centred person to me. Good luck and keep posting, even if you are not TTC for a while. Will be good to hear how you get on with your counselling.

Will update you later xx

D4phne - don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone copes differently with an m/c. It hits us all at different times in different ways and to different degrees, but believe me when I say that we all know those feelings of loss you're going though. It is quite simply one of the most awful things you will ever experience and you need to give yourself time to come to terms with it. Time really is the best healer in my experience.

You can start to TTC quite soon after an ERPC, but wait until you are ready EMOTIONALLY for it.

FWIW: my pattern after the ERPC was AF 14 days after, then 31, then another 31 then BFP, so it doesn't have to take a long time to get pg again and I know others on here were even quicker.

Good luck x

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Just had call from GP who is soooo nice bless him. He wants me to go to surgery Monday morning-is not officially on duty but is teaching his students. He wants me to have a pg test with them seeing me, (he is teaching them about pg at the mo and thinks it will be interesting for them) then he will see me and if the test is not conclusive he will run some series blood tests.

In his opinion, it is a new pregnancy so fingers crossed girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Wow Edie -- sorry you are still in limbo but this is good news ... I keep five pairs of fingers crossed!!!

Juicy, Firststar -- thanks for your kind words. I hear you. I think I am emotionally ready, but I am really scared of that intercontinental conception business... I am somewhat bouncing around on the world (literally) and this is the first time I would have had maternity leave & it would havve solved the two-body problem. Just can't handle this out-of-my-control business.

Okay. I am working up my guts now and then I will call my GP. There I am: I have travelled around the world and am scared to bits to call my GP. I feel I have never been as vulnerable in my entire life.

good, positive news Edie - I hope we hear even better on Monday - how are you feeling within yourself? Your GP sounds lovely!

daphne - keep posting - I have been here for the last few months even though my DH has been away, so have been unable to TTC - I still have bad days re MC and the girls on here have been great support for me on that front?
It is not easy TTC if your other half is on the other side of the world, but some people manage it - Try and stay positive [[HUGS]

I hope your GP gives you some reassurance one way or the other.

sorry not caught up - been really ill last couple of days and now trying to catch up at work. BTW - neurofen at this point in cycle CD5/6 any negative effect on eggs/ovaries? Been avoiding it, but at one stage had to give in on Tuesday as I thought my head was going to explode, but feel really guilty about it - am I being silly, as i won't ov for at least another week?

Take care all,
x

OK. Rang GP, but didn't pick up the phone. No possibility to leave message. Rang Ward that performed ERPC. The said if I haven't had AF it will be leftover hormones (this is obviously wrong in its exclusivity, but I guess they didn't want to differentiate). I asked if I can have my hormones checked to see if they return to normal and they said 'No. Your body is ready when it's ready.' End of call. I am not lucky, am I?

Great news edie
daph keep posting we are not always actively ttc concieve here maybee just working our way up to it.

babyfettle I won't actualy take neurofen anymore, it hasn't been around that long really and well yeah lots of reasons . Panadol or even panadeine with codiene are safe all through preg.
Not that cd 5 would be anything to worry about though. Just thought i'd convert you for the future.

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Fingers crossed for you Edie

D4phne - don't give up. Keep trying your GP and explain how distraught you are 1) about the whole m/c and 2) now about being in Limbo over your body's status. I hope you find a sympathetic ear (i.e. get past the receptionist - who sometimes act like they're the ones with the medical degree )

OK here is my story (try to keep it short). Moved to UK for work 2yrs ago after having lived with DH for 5yrs. DH has been trying to find job in his field (20+ applications), but unsuccessful. We have been quite involved in our respectie jobs, so thought of being unemployed in a foreign country is not appealing to either of us. So we thought: if one of us has to quit his/her job so that we can be together, maybe we can combine it with having family? (We both want children but the time never seemd quite right before) -- Okay, naive, but hey, it could have worked... Were very happy when pink line on test after Connecticut trip in July. Every day emails, excited. DH flew over for first photo op at 11 1/2 weeks. Then: unforgettable deep black spot on screen (i.e.empty placenta; blighted ovum). Shock.... Here I am!!!!

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D4phne

Sad story. Really hope you stay on here, as somebody else said, not everyone is actively TTC, sounds like you could do with some support at the moment. Please stay xx

D4phne - so many people go all the way to the 12 week scan before they find out their baby stopped growing at 6 / 7 weeks. It just makes it more cruel and you feel like your body has played a trick on you.

Honestly, if that makes you naive then we all are

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