The hot new TTC after MC thread - all welcome, bring a fish and all the posifrickentivity you can muster! Prepare to overshare.

[Seasides]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Re. progesterone levels. I read that PMS symptoms are a good sign of progesterone, as is no spotting before AF.

I used to always get cramping before AF but I get nothing know to indicate she is on her way.

Now

Welcome to the newbies

Sebsmummy I'm just finishing my first AF after mc. Some people's cycles click straight back to normal and a lucky few get another bfp straight away. For me I had tons of pregnancy symptoms but finally got my AF 8 days late after a long 40 day cycle. Just wanted to warn you this could happen to you. But fingers crossed it won't. Also, it's very early days. I'm sorry for your loss, give yourself some time to grieve if you need to.

Thanks for the welcome! Still no AF here. My cycles are either 28 or 31 days (random I know!) Today is day 31. So don't know whether to think I'm pg, or just that its my body playing a cruel trick on me (my body is evil!) xxx

Hi newbies Welcome and hope you can naff off soon!

So I feel like I've just been hit by a bus. DP is the oldest of four brothers, his parents have no DC. His brother, despite lot of invites hasn't been to visit our new house (to be fair he does live quite far away but he often works in this city). Anyway, my suspicions have been confirmed and after having beers with his brother in the pub last night (he wouldn't come to the house again), DP has just confirmed that BIL and SIL are pregnant. I think that DP had previously told BIL about the mc, and SIL is due when I was meant to be due, so actually BIL is only being lovely and trying not to upset me.

And oh my word do I feel horrendous I actually feel really bloody guilty for feeling so jealous and unhappy. BIL and SIL are lovely and they have been trying for a while, but still not as long as me and DP I just want to feel happy for them, I really do. But instead it's raked up all the mc memories and, if I'm being honest, I feel jealous and bitter and horrible. We were meant to be the first to give DP's parents DC, we were meant to be the ones telling everyone the sex right now, blah blah blah. And now, I'll have to endure family meet-ups with SIL's bump at the stage my bump should be

So, I think that I need both a fish slap and an un-mn hug.

Oh, and fingers crossed for those joining the poas party tomorrow - let's get some more bfp's please

Hugs otter - I know you know it's normal to have those feelings and nothing to feel guilty about but I will tell you again anyway! I have the exact same situation with BIL & SIL. I am getting better at dealing with seeing her but until the baby arrives I don't think I'm going to be 'normal' around them because it's too painful a reminder of my own loss, nothing to do with their baby really.

Also had another pg announcement this eve, one of Mr Ps friends. Definitely an instadiff - they were living in separate countries until about 6 months ago. Feeling seriously but happy for them too. It's def easier to be happy for people when they're in another country!!

Oh dear that sounds awful :-( I know how you feel. 18mo into our ttc my bro and sil announced their second (unplanned) pregnancy. I was so upset, I went home and cried for days. I even told DH I wanted nothing to do with them or the baby. I couldn't, or wouldn't, watch them play happy families while we struggled for a baby of our own. It wasn't fair and I was so

I'm ashamed of myself now, but at the time I was in a really bad place. Happy to report though that was 4 years ago, and I love my little niece to pieces

As someone said to me a while ago - fake it til you make it! Force yourself to spend time with them. It will get easier I promise. Big hugs xxx

Oh Otters, I feel for you, I really do. You are not a bad person, just normal person who has been through your own personal hell. It really is tough sometimes. Hugs.

Thanks Parsley. I know many other upduffed people at the moment but this one has really winded me, I'm sure you know the feeling exactly. I don't begrudge or envy their baby, but it makes me grieve the whole 'what should have been' for DP and me. SIL lives miles away and I don't get to see her often, and I do appreciate BIL having lots of tact knowing our situation. But oh, fuckity fuck fuck bugger!!!!!!

I struggled when me and my sister were both pg and I lost mine. I'm the end I almost had to deliver my nephew in a bathroom floor emergency. Everyone thought I was especially heroic considering the circumstances. Funny how things turn out!

And thanks all of you It helps immensely to offload here with you other mad ladies I will channel 'cool auntie' thoughts....

Wow Just - that's incredible! Just goes to show how bloody string we need to be are

Strong, not string!!

Hello. Welcome to the new joiners. Sorry that you find yourself here.
sundance that is great news that AF is not here yet!! It may be your turn this Friday! Who all is poas tomorrow?

I had my hycosy today. All clear. It was a bit painful but was shirt lived thankfully!!
Very depressed as just found out another friend is expecting no. 2. Beginning to think this is never going to happen for me.

Miss Hobart I am cd 9 here and also not starting until Monday!

Oh god I can totally imagine how you must feel Otters. You think you are keeping it together and starting to feel slightly better and adjusted to things and then suddenly you get totally blind-sided by information you weren't prepared for.

It sounds as though they are aware of how painful this news will be and are trying to be thoughtful. Least that might mean you are not going to hear baby news constantly from their direction.

Don't feel guilty. Let them concentrate on their happy news and you concentrate on being kind to yourself. Also if they are on your Facebook newsfeed, block 'em

Thankfully Sebs they are not on Facebook! Small mercies huh?

I have opened some and ordered a pizza. I'm going to embrace not allowed in pregnancy activities all weekend. And avoid answering the phone to MIL.

Buggery balls! I've sat on my hands all day so as not to POAS too soon but as AF was a day late I got myself all worked up and excited and rushed out to get a test. Well of course I got a BFN! I knew I would really as we missed ovulation this month but am really upset :( Apologies for the self indulgent rant .

Oh otters,I totally get how you feel. Although I'm fairly confident neither BIL & SIL or my Sister will announce pregnancies soon, all of my best friends bar one announced their pregnancies as I was miscarrying. It's horrific! It stirs up all the pain and 'that should be me' feelings. My only saving grace is that I'm abroad and don't have to see their growing bumps or hear their constant baby chat.
I'm sure it will get easier, but right now allow yourself to wallow and feel a bit and , it's normal.
Sending you a big un-mn hug!

I totally get it too otter - it would be nice if everyone else could just quit getting pg until we've got there first! Massive Having a beer in my pjs to cheer myself up.

Doc's agreed I can have my FSH and Oestradiol checked too, so that's good. Can't do it this AF as we're away for Valentine's, but next one for sure. Just want to rule everything out - particularly the blocked tubes, that's what I'm most worried about. Glad yours are all clear triple, that must be a relief.

Can't really post in the office but been reading on my phone - my acupuncturist got me worried that my hormone levels were wack (turns out we were reading the chart wrong) but it really panicked me that something was actually wrong. I think I'd felt a bit like you missH, that it would be good to know what the problem was, but now I'm desperately hoping it's all fine, because then I might actually be able to get pg each month, rather than having to wade through the NHS's treacle slow treatment schedules.

Baxter - totally get you with the symptoms. Been imagining nausea for three days now, fully aware it's psychosomatic.

Argh! Have actually been doing some work for a change and missed loads! Welcome newbies.

Massive unmumsnet style hugs Otter. Being sad, angry and upset doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a human, and one who's gone through some horrible experiences at that. When I start to feel bad about my reactions to things like this I try to imagine what I'd say to a close friend if they were feeling like that. We're often so much kinder to others than we are to ourselves.

Totally on board with the passive-aggressive commuters club. To my shame I am quite competitive so have a little game where I have to catch up to the commuter in front of me when walking up the escalator. I also nominate people to overtake on the street and feel a burst of satisfaction when I power past them. Oh dear!

PMSL penguin

I might be crap at incubating babies but I can overtake other pedestrians!

Tonight was a particularly rubbish commute. Left office at 7, just got in. Ugh. Good job I like walking!

Good luck POAS party people for tomorrow! Bring on the BFPs.

I'm with you on the competitive passive-aggressiveness Penguin. When I worked in London, I was full of rage at all the book reading, slow walkers! Casually muttering 'get out my fucking way' just loud enough that they might hear.