You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

for Cookie - I'm So sorry, what a shit time you're going through. Ttc is hard enough without the other one changing their mind! I don't know what I'd do in your position, just know that we're here. Hopefully he does just need to get his thoughts and feelings in order!

Sending lots of love!

Without giving to much detail away, he had a really bad childhood and his parents are basically shit, he thinks if we have a child together then he may end up hating me, hating the child and resenting the whole situation when we were perfectly happy before, however he is not seeing the whole picture as i am not perfectly happy i want a child. So last night my mum came and picked me up and i am at their house now, dh and i have texted all morning and still seem to be going round in circles.

So i sent him a text saying we're breaking up, i'm going to move out. He said he doesn't want that and basically said ok fine we will have a kid, of course i am forcing his hand, i don't want to. But the truth is, i don't want to live without him. I also can't bear not having children.

I've been looking at flats this morning seeing where i can move to

Not sure if we are gonna stick it out, but i just want him to try. I can't belive that this time yesterday i was so blissful happy and now i am in tears 90% of the time.

oh cookie I'm so sorry this is happening. Massive hugs and support to you.
All I will say is try not to make big decisions right now...maybe get together in a quiet cafe, somewhere neutral, and try to talk it over. Or maybe see if someone like Relate can see you to help have the conversation?

It's a lot to take in, all at once, with the diagnosis and what that might mean for you, babies, his feelings, his childhood...it's a lot to deal with, particularly in the aftermath of an MC.

xx

Oh cookie I'm so sorry :-( to me he sounds scared. Scared about MC, scared about the baby, scared of turning into his parents.

I'd like to tell you he'll come around in time but I can't make that promise, I just hope that you guys can work through this.

What I would say though is hold off on the flat for a wee while, you don't want to rush into a lease without fully exploring what's happening between you both first

Xx

Cookie give it time - I know that is hard. Men are impulsive and fearful but I am sure that as he loves you it will all be alright when he sorts it out in his head. Men just take longer to process things than women. X

Just saying hello and sprinkling more baby dust.

Cookie

So sorry to hear, that's harsh.

cookie I think the bigger picture is that he needs help to deal with what's happened to him. I think he needs counselling and relate seems like a good place to start. I think he does want kids, but he's scared of all the uncertainty.
you need to give yourself some time to really think about what you need. I'm concerned that he knows how important this is to you but he still keeps blowing hot and cold. what's to stop him changing his mind again in 5months? what if you get pg and he changes his mind and runs? I can't tell you what to do honey, just offer my opinion and tell you what I think I would do, and what I would do is leave if he's not prepared to take action to deal with his problems eg by going to see a counsellor. you deserve the happiness of having a baby with a loving partner without the uncertainty of how your partner will react to it. don't make rash decisions, but there's no harm looking at flats and letting him know this is seriously make or break for you. xx

We're right in the middle of buying a property. Really just waiting to exchange now. Started looking at flats to rent by myself earlier!

And of course cookie don't forget we're all here for you xxxxxx

Oh cookie love, I echo what the others are saying. He sounds scared, and we all know how men retreat into a childlike state when scared.
I hope he can see what an amazing, strong and lovely woman he has and doesn't let his past cloud his future, before he makes any rash decisions.
I suspect he's still in mourning after the mc also, which won't make you feel any better but this is what my husband does when he's backed into a corner with emotion, completely shuts down.
I'm sending my love x

I echo people's advice re counselling, in my opinion everyone should have it! My friend went to relate for a year and said it was the best thing they did!

Name: mrsb
Age:26
dc: no just 3 doggies and dh
ttc since dec 13 so very early days yet!

I think I like this fred, all those opks....charting and day counting was scaring the bejesus out of me!!

Oh cookie men are a syrange breed, always overreact and then regret it later. Hopefully everything will clarify itself once you have spoken to him properly x

**strange...

sorry

Welcome Mrs B!

hi mrsb

well that's it, last straw, even the celebs are rubbing it in. I go on Facebook to be met with my friends liking Jessica Ennis' pregnancy announcement. ugh!

She might have been trying for months too.....who knows?!

lil exact same convo at mine last night!

She has said it was a complete surprise.
GRRR.

I'm sat at home on my own as DH is out with friends who've been together five minutes and now she's four months pregnant. The two blokes just talk bloke stuff constantly and I am so not up for questions about nursery decor tonight so I'm just not doing it to myself. Feeling quite happy about that decision!

Welcome mrsb

cookie any progress today? Hope you're having an relaxing evening xxx

Thanks for all the warm welcomes!

Juniper I bet you feel like its being rubbed in your face, not sure how I'd feel in your shoes!

I was talking about it with DH, he thinks I'm being somewhat irrational. I know life isn't fair and blah blah blah. But it would feel like it was being rubbed in my face and I know that I would get wound up and come home stewing about how UNFAIR it all is. So, I'm not doing it to myself! At home reading & listening to CDs. Very nice.

It always feels that way and probably are being irrational but it doesn't stop us does it?!
It will be your turn soon im sure!

Tonight is dvd and snuggles infront on the woodburner (with the dogs!). Whats everyone else upto?

i did the food shopping, repaired something for mil on the sewing machine and caught up on greys (omg!) and Jamie & Jimmy's friday night feast. my Saturday nights are sooo rock n roll! I just need the baby upstairs asleep so I have an excuse to be this dull!

I worked this morning, came home, had a cheeky snooze, then headed out to meet some friends at a local pub that had a beer festival on! Enjoyed being able to booze it up (whilst AF is in town!) and had a nice time! Then decided to head to the local cinema on my tod to see American Hustle it was very good! Just got home. Walked there and back which is about 3 miles, so really quite pleased with myself - walking more is one of my unofficial New Years resolutions!

Haven't read through properly, but just wanted to add my support for Cookie hope you're getting lots of RL support at the moment. It will get better

I would strongly recommend the Relationships thread, it's full of some very wise MNers who will give you lots of wise words of help. They have been amazing to me through several difficult times.

And Welcome MrsB!

I'm in the throes if ERTD misery, so it was a greasy breakfast out with DP, followed by a lovely walk with the dogs today, then pizza, a film and Red Wine! Lovely!

Why am I awake at 7am when it's Sunday and I don't need to be?!