You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

This is my first JS thread! Here thanks to a nice obstetrician colleague- I asked her if there's any research evidence that you get pregnant faster if you use OPKs and she said NOOOOOO they just mess up relationships and are only useful if one of you works offshore and you need to plan your liaisons very carefully, everyone else should just make sure they have sex every 2-3 days... Just Shagging is Obstetrician-Approved!!

Name: Catypillar
Age: 31
DCs: DS aged 6
TTC: hoping to start in a couple of weeks
Preferred cape: sparkly silver to match my shoes

Currently deciding if I'm going to remove my Mirena myself or get the GP practice nurse to do it. Accidentally pulled the last one out because DH was complaining about the threads so I thought I'd try to feel them, and pulled them by mistake so it got dislodged, was in the process of breaking the news to DH that we couldn't have sex until I'd got the coil sorted by the GP and suddenly felt really dizzy, vague memories of "cervical shock" from medical school, figured I'd better remove it properly before I collapsed, it came out very easily but DH was disgusted (in retrospect maybe I shouldn't have shown it to him...) I can't be bothered with the trip to the GP as I'd have to miss work and catch up later but DH is like "eww no that's really offputting, there will be no shagging if you do that again"

Hi!

Name:Wooly
Age: 27
TTC: starting on Monday actually after I've had my final xray following an operation!
Dc's: none

the things you learn on mumsnet! who wouldve thought there would be a thing called "cervical shock" I'm lmao here. no offence intended catypillarâ?¦ welcome to the thread!

Not party pooper at all Lil. Any info is welcome. I don't know what's going on. I was worried I had a short luteal phase since I started thinking about when I ov but what I do know is I have never in my life had this long a cycle. LIke I say, it could be a good thing if I am having late ovulation to have longer cycle but it's never been this long before in more than 20 years. Something is up, just need to work out what. I'll be pleased when this is all resolved, if not BFP then back to shagging without worrying again.

Catypillar - that's great that the just shagging approach is medically approved. Sounds good to me.

Woah, I got a bit lightheaded reading that Caty Maybe GP's is best?! Welcome to the thread!

Welcome to you too Woolly!

Oooh thanks Rach I haven't had Jaffa cakes for years!

The Bastard ERTD hit me with full force this morning, I was late for work because of the endo / IBS misery. Luckily my boss is lovely and understanding.

To commiserate myself, I have had a lovely stodgy casserole, BEER, and then ordered DP to make me caffeinated tea and dig out a box of After Eights that have been hidden in the cupboard since Christmas 2012...

I feel a bit better. New Cycle starts here, I too am going to give it my all this month - JSing every other day...

Welcome to the newbies!

Latium longer post doesnt mean longer lp, just later ov. if your worried about lp go to the docs or temp for a few months

lmao cycle not post

Name: Lynsey14
Age: 28
TTC: since Dec 2013, all shiny and new!
DC: only a fluffy doggy!
Preferred Cape: pink and glittery

Can I have a hooya/smack round the chops, please? Doing symptom spotting and getting myself all worked up. Only CD24 so really shouldn't. The breadsticks are feeling very strange, on and off. I'm sure it's just one of those "new" ERTD symptoms that keep us on our toes. Or maybe...

hopes

Hi newbies, and sorry about ERTD catching so many of you. Let's hope that's her only showing for the rest of 2014.

Am currently reading about SPERM in Zita. Absolutely fascinating!

Morning
Mini hooya juniper, though you can be forgiven as you're in the prime symptom spotting time of the month!
What do we need to know about sperm then?!

juniper I love the nc! hang on there, but mini hooya for you!

Morning wimmin!
Drink more water POA is going splendidly. Finding my eyes quite fresh in the am instead of all crusty after a nights sleep, and yes, I find I'm more.. Ummm.... Moist (sorry ha) than usual.
So get on it, though it's a bit of a ball ache. I only had 6 glasses yesterday and went to the loo 13 times!
All for the greater good though I suppose eh!

I have my first driving lesson tonight and once again, I'm shitting bricks. Someone pls tell me I'm not going to crash and burn myself or some poor little pedestrian just trying to get to her home after a week at work.

Also for the past 5 nights I'm having the most surreal dreams. Things must be bad, sometimes I really only remember snippets, but this is weird.

Ahhhh

minion you'll be fine chuck. fx your driving lesson goes smoothly.

lol at moist. my friend loathes that word. particularly if it is paired with gusset!

Moist gusset! Ewwwww

I hates the word 'quiche', it's a wrong'un fo' sho

Yep, that is what I meant lol. don't think I expressed it very well. I think I have had late ov which would explain randomly long cycle this month. It is the first month I have even thought about when I ovulated though so could ge wrong. I am by now pretty sure am not PG but dh gets back from work trip tonight so will prob jump his bones even if the late evil one is just around the corner.

Oh, and i must drink more water!

lil not lol, lol!!

Sperm:
GCSE biology was wrong! I am sure they said they grow and die every three days. Well, it's 100 days!
Sperm formation very important so don't drink, smoke or do drugs. 80% of alcoholic men are sterile!
Zinc supplements are good as long as your copper is balanced.
A man would have to ejaculate 30 times to empty his tubes entirely, they hang around for ages!
Only need to "store" up the sperm if there are problems with them.

Thanks for the hooyas!

Minion you will be fine, they have dual controls so the instructor will stop anything bad from happening, I did all sorts of terrible things in driving lessons and the guy saved me every time... good luck!

hI all, catypailla, omg you pulled it out and showed dh! that's so funny and gross at same time. I'm all up for drinking water and did an amazing job when at work as nice cool water dispenser, but took two days off and it's gone out of the window. meant to be using these days do bring my number up to 10, but ended up going to bingo with dh then playing games on the pad til 3am. woops. maybe next month.
symptom spotting to a minimum, had lots of cramps and booby ache, but that's regular after ov. also no 'moist' (sorry can't remember the word you use for it) at all. more dry than the Sahara desert! !! maybe shag later, pull out the Ann summer's gear lol.
well its medically confirmed right? !

rach - I openly hate those words. Are you my RL friend?! Scary thought!

Hmm interesting what Zita says about sperm Juniper - I was under the impression that you needed to, ahem, 'release' them every few days to keep them fresh. But that was the advice from the VR team, who I guess assume that their patients might have sub-standard sperm.

I also read somewhere that it takes about 3 months for the sperm that's being made to be ready to do the business. So you will reap the benefits or suffer the damage that you do now in 3 months time. So feed those swimmers plenty of Zinc, pumpkin seeds, avocado, tomatoes, sweet potato, fish, red meat... and get him to stay away from fags, booze and hot jacuzzis!

Good luck Minion you'll be fine. The dual controls will prevent you from any disasters. It's scary as hell to think 'Shit, I'm in control of this large metal box on wheels', but you get used to it. Be thankful if your instructor doesn't do what mine did - place his hand on your knee every time you should brake.. interesting strategy for a 60 yr old instructor teaching 17 year old girls, dontcha think...

God, what a lovely thought that this could be my last ERTD for 2014... I currently feel like my uterus is falling out of my arse/fanj and there's no way I could leave the house this morning :(

moist

Am on with the JSing this month even though due to the mc I'm not sure when I'll even be fertile! definitely not checking for ovulation by POAS

cosy I'd need to read back but I think the idea is that if they ejaculate regularly (like daily/every two days) the older ones at the "top" of the tubes are released and the fresher ones below so I think what you've said is more or less correct. She used some example of a bloke working on the rigs and not ejaculating for two weeks (HOW?!) and obviously when they dtd his spermies weren't as good. I'm actually going to buy the hard copy version now so I can leave it open on the relevant pages for DH to read. ;)

Good luck with the driving minion. I started laughing when I first made a car move! I love driving, enjoy.