TTC 10+++ months part 18

[Mrsden]

This is the BFP thread.

Have you been crying a lot, cos? I find that wipes me out and leaves me feeling like crap. Are you sure it's all over? Has af turned up?

Dh would leave Xmas shopping to Xmas eve which he has done many a year. He forgets that we need to post stuff to the uk. I suspect we've already missed the last posting date.

cos I also don' think you are self-involved. of course you are thinking about what is going on with you right now and trying to deal with that and need to talk about it. That is completely normal and what I like about this thread being a safe place to talk and all the kind people on it.

mrsden - can you internet order and ship to england?

Grr annoying. Is there a nice cosy bar you can hole up in drinking mulled wine till he's done tomorrow? Do you speak the lingo where you are btw?

No tears yet. I'm a bit of a bottler - maybe I need to do that to release it. No af yet but ovary twinges.

Free very true

mrsd I have the whole weekend to myself. Mr euro has gone to visit the inlaws in Ireland to deliver Xmas presents. I love it. :)

He's actually quite good at pulling his weight on the present stuff. The card writing tends to fall to me but his family don't go in much for that where as mine does.

Something's definitely happening, but then "something" always does, so it doesn't mean much. I'm trying to ignore it, but it has been impossible not to notice the cramps. They have eased off now though.

cos we all obsess on here when we are going through something horrible and/or confusing, and support the others when it's their turn. It's how it works. We're here for you. (I appear to have nominated myself the 10+ers spokesperson by this point, but as I know these posters so well at this point I know they will feel the same.)

OTD is next Thursday (14dpEC). I will probably test on Tuesday as I have always got a positive by 12dpEC and if it turns out to be another chemical I would rather know.

Cos - I agree with MrsD, Free and Euro. You are not self involved at all. You have been through an awful lot. I do think it would be good release to have a good cry though- all in good time. Big hand hold.

Euro - I am hopeful that bean is nuzzling in nice and tight. You are still sounding quite chilled. I am impressed. I know what you mean about having the place to yourself. Now and again it's lovely to just be in your own company.

Mrsd - Quite right that you should drag Mrd shopping. MrS is awful with gifts. I buy all the presents for everyone every year but I actually enjoy shopping for others so I don't make too much of it.

Free - Try not to worry about the scan. It is v early so you can't expect to see much. I know it's easier said than done. I am keeping everything crossed for you that you have a worry free pregnancy.

AFM, day 6 of DR feeling really fluey and coughing a lot. I think I got sick and the DR drugs are making it just that bit worst. Spent the day retching and running to the loo and now I am sure everyone thinks I am pregnant when I am just ill and anxious (this makes me retch and dry heave usually). Wondering when AF will come...

oh Cos, it's horrible for you. I hope you're ok. Have you tested again, is it still bfn? (& you're not self involved!)

Euro - i'm willig this eurobean to be bedding down. It's clearly very vocal.

Sea - you poor love. You don't get sick normally do you? Has the humira done its thing I wonder? They whole thing is anxiety inducing. It's not easy but you'll be surprised how quickly time goes especially once you start stemming.

Mrsd - sorry you are home alone tonight.

waves.

Morning lovelies!

Good luck with Christmas shopping with the unwilling man, mrsd. How annoying he does not pull his weight... SB is actually very good with present shopping both for his side and all the small people on my side.

Well done on the bedding down eurobean. Glad it has clearly reached blast, hatched and doing its thing. Let's just hope this is The One. You sound very relaxed still, euro, I am very impressed with it all.

Cos the others have said it, but I'll say it again, you are not self-involved and even if you were it would be fine. Massive hug and some chocolate. This is just difficult.

As to what next, my approach would probably be very prog-supported FET but that is just cos that worked for me after mc and cp

Sea so sorry you've been feeling rough. It sounds like your immunes are taking a break, which is a good thing. Annoying to get suspicious colleagues!

Waves and tail feathers to all of you.

sea I've just looked back and my period arrived on my 9th day of downregging, a couple of days late. It's not unusual for it to be a bit delayed by the drugs.

I'm sorry you are feeling so crap though. DRing is hard enough without being ill on top. Do you have something nice planned for the weekend?

How are you feeling today cos?

I am still pretty relaxed. I think I have so little hope that this one will work out after what the embryologist said last weekend, that it's actually helping me to manage to 2ww. I have ridiculous constipation from the progesterone at the moment. That might be responsible for at least some of the cramping!

Morning all. Relaxed is good Euro. Fingers crossed for Eurobean, and like Lemon it must be getting beyond hatching blast stage. What prog are you taking? I'm better for a good nights sleep. I think once af starts ill be feeling more normal. How's everyone else doing?

The minging cyclogest pessaries, twice a day. Bleugh.

When I mc'd my fanjo was so sick of sanpro - it had had almost 6 weeks of cyclogest ick and then 2 weeks of bleeding to contend with.

I'm glad you got a good night's sleep, cos. That makes everything seem better.

400mg?

Euro can you remember with Mr S's super ov programme whether that included the pessaries?

cos yes he suggests prog for everything

Thanks for the sympathies ladies. Had the worst night - cold, hot, coughing and retching. The humira might finally be working because this is the worst cold I have had in ages. I am a bit concerned about the DR spray now as I am so so bunged up.

Joy - This is the 2nd time I have been properly sick this year.

Euro - I am hoping AF hurries up. 9 days seems average I think. I have family over this weekend but the kind that I have to look after and cook for... I wish I could just stay in bed for the weekend.

Sorry to hear about constipation... would some linseeds with water help? I find it works well.

Cos - I am glad you got a good night's sleep.

cos I am so bloody sorry that you are going through this. What a horrible thing to happen. I know it is zero consolation, but two mcs in a year suggests that it is only a matter of time before one sticks (although it's totally miserable emotionally and physically). It is good news that on the first time you used progesterone, in an unassisted cycle, you had a bfp. I agree with Sar that it suggests that egg and sperm met and probably always have. And that for other women, cps probably happen very frequently and are followed by sticky beans. It's just that when you've been trying as long as the 10 plussers, the stakes are much much higher. The other ladies have better advice than me on what to do next - but it should definitely involve progesterone, given your recent experience. I am thinking of you lots. Please be gentle and kind to yourself. This is like a bereavement, after everything you've been through in the past few months.

euro sweet girl I am thinking of you and am so in awe, as always, of how you've managed to stay supportive of others and calm during this round, after an exhausting year. I am hoping and hoping for your little embie and sending lots and lots of bedding in thoughts across the Atlantic. I so want you to have the best surprise Christmas present ever. You deserve it so much.

sea sorry you're feeling so awful. You've been through so much, it seems unfair to get flu on top of everything else. I remember the downregging feeling like it took ages. I do think and hope you'll feel better once you can finally start stimming. I'm rooting for you lovely.

free those hcg levels sound really good. I know these next few weeks will be tortuous, but 4-5 weeks is really really early to see more than just a tiny sac. I am quietly sending 'hang in there' thoughts to your growing bean.

mrsd online ordering is the way to go with Christmas presents and recalcitrant husbands. Mine is quite good in terms of his intentions but gets overwhelmed by the shops. Hope you're having lots of yummy European treats and gluhwein.

Love and a big floofy tail feather zhuzh to everyone else.

The thread's quiet atm, isn't it?

cos two pessaries a day, so whatever dose that is. How are you doing?

sea I hope you are feeling better by now.

AFM... I just caved and tested. It was a faint BFP. But I've been here before and can't get excited (although my imagination is running away with itself).

I kind of knew for the last few days - insomnia, exhaustion, boobs like bazookas and feeling dizzy a couple of times when I got up too quick. How wonderful it would be to be a first time instadiffer without the memories of what happened last time and the knowledge of the shit I had to go through to get here.

So no congratulations please, ladies. I can't handle it. Just some handholding and crossed fingers for a nice strong HCG number from the blood test on Thursday.

Euro not congratulating you but offering a super tight paw squeeze and sending gentle encouragement to your bean. Hang in there.

Euro - I am growing some extra hands to offer handholds and crossing fingers for you. I really really want this to be your time. Fertility gods please do your thing.... it's her time.
I feel for you Euro, I know this will be a gut wretchingly worrying time. Oh to be an instadiffer..

Fingers tightly crossed for you euro. This is positive though, and I know it's so hard to think of a good outcome after your previous experiences I really do think that this might be it, why not? How many dpo are you?

I was on 800mg per day. Fat lot of good it did though. I don't think low progesterone is our problem. I know we're not getting to the implantation stage. Almost four years and never had a bfp. Fet should be end of jan/ Feb. I'm hoping we can do our final round of Ivf in July or August.

Euro - wishing and hoping that this is a sticky bean. It's so sad that what should be a joyous occasion is in fact a crappy wait.

That is the crap thing about long term ttc. We have to put up with nerve racking waits. I sometimes think that if my first Ivf round had worked I'd also think Ivf was easy, having a failed round puts a very different spin on things.

Euro - firm handholds and sticky cakes winging their way to you. X

sea - so sorry you have been feeling rotten. This is not an easy path, big hugs.

free - I truely believe your scan is too early to see anything other than the sac. Hang on in there sweetheart.

den - great to hear fet is on the cards soon. Sounds like a good time of year to go again. Try to block out all things ttc and allow yourself a super duper Christmas.

cos - how are you my lovely? I think joy gave good advice about what to do next. I agree that the full blown fresh cycle doesnt appear warranted just yet and natural and fet cycles supported with the correct progesterone and immune meds may be the missing link.

Hello to the lovely fox, joy, pout, lemon, critter and everyone.

Euro - Big paw squeeze. The long term TTC does feel like one stressful wait after the next. I am sending sticky thoughts your way.

Sea - I hope your cold is subsiding by now.

MrsD - The FET sounds promising. I agree with everyone else who suggested online shopping as the way forward for the Christmas gifts.

Hello and waves to Fox, Joy, Pout, Critter, Lemon, Cosmo, Sar, Free, Gin, Buzz and everyone I have missed. I hope your winter holidays start soon and are enjoyable.

I will be heading out shortly to shovel some more - I have to say I love snow around the holidays .