TTC 10+++ months part 18

[Mrsden]

This is the BFP thread.

free I am so pleased about the heartbeat! And hurrah that your little bean is already very advanced and measuring ahead. Brilliant brilliant news.

cos thanks so much for telling me about your neighbour - it really has been a comfort to hear about other people with similar experiences and it's a massive reassurance for me that I know I can have this awesome doc oversee (hopefully) a future pregnancy. And I am really comforted to know that I have frosties waiting for me to use in six months, as if one implants, he or she will be effectively a non-identical twin of James, coming from the same batch as it were. One of the rare upsides of needing IVF!

Love and thanks again to everyone. sea how are you feeling? I am so excited for you!

pout have you thought about next steps at all? I'm so upset on your behalf about the postcode lottery issue. It's so unfair. Is there any way around it?

critter how is your physical recovery going?

The highs and lows of this thread are incredible, as is the support we give one another.

euro my c section scar seems to be healing nicely, I am hobbling about and basically housebound and avoiding stairs, but it's already much easier to move about than it was. The doc told me he did a special double layer suture or something so that it would be extra strong and heal extra fast. Sounds like something you'd do to a cake! My breast milk came in a couple of days ago and that has been a bit miserable as it's a physical reminder that there is no baby to feed and so I just have these sore huge rock hard boobs, plus I think there's some bad hormonal thing that happens when you have milk but aren't feeding. But I've had cold cabbage leaves in my bra (which apparently reduces engorgement and dries up milk) and am drinking sage tea and today has been a bit better, they seem to be going down a bit. At least I know they work! Is your work trip next week? I can only imagine how nerve wracking these early weeks must feel.

Oh Critter. How very miserable to use your word. You're handling this with such unbelievable grace - can I please do some angry fist shaking and wails of why you at the universe on your behalf?

But yes a non identical twin sibling (twibling?) waiting in the freezer. How many were there again?

Another enormous squeeze.

I'm glad the healing is going well. That dr sounds fab. I wondered about the milk. That must be so hard. You are doing amazingly. Big (breast avoiding) hugs. x

Yes, I am off on the work trip next week - Tuesday - Friday. It's to a country I have never visited before, so I am quite looking forward to it. I'll probably be out your way again the week after Easter (and would love to meet up again if you would like to). We are considering trying to tack on a week's holiday one side or the other of the work trip, so that we get a sunshiny holiday without me having to do loads of long haul flying if the pregnancy gets that far. Maybe Central America or the Carrybean.

Lovely Critters. I'm glad the physical scars are healing. Of course the milk will be a horrible reminder of your lost. I'm just so angry and sad that you are having to experience what no one should have to. I don't really know what to say but just wanted to give you a huge hug and say I'm still thinking of you and Mr C.

Euro - your travel plans sound v exciting. Enjoy the work trip. Hopefully that will fend off the men killing.

Cos - have you done any more digi tests? When do you have a doc's appt?

Oh critter you are doing unbelievably well all considered. I'm glad you're healing but sorry of the physical reminders. A lot of mnetters are very fond of kellymom with regards all matters breastfeeding. I'm so sad that there is a resource for you here and I hate that I'm pointing you in this direction. I hope that there is at least some practical help for you here

I'm sure James' twibling will bring so much joy. I'm so glad that you can take some comfort that they're all waiting for when the time is right. It also sounds like you will have the very best in medical care.

You are already an awesome mum to James and will be the best to his future siblings.

Please don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything. I wish I could be there to hold your hand right now.
Huge hugs xxx

Ps I'm joining forces with Cos at shaking ragey fists at the universe.

Free wonderful news.

Hugs for all.

Agreed with all the fist shaking at the universe, cos and princess!

So sorry about the physical reminders and discomfort, critter. You are doing amazingly well. I am in awe!! I like the sound of you cons and hope you'll recover very well. Thinking of you three all the time. I hope and think James' twiblings will bring lots of joy. But the loss of your first son is just incredibly sad and unfair.

Quick waves at all, commuter train posting again. I am so ready for the weekend!

Critter I am sorry about the horrible physical reminders that you are now having to go through. It sounds as though your consultant is giving you the best care possible, which is great news, at this awful time. I am still in awe at your ability to be so positive, coherant and graceful. You are a brave lady and will make a fantastic mum again in the future to James' sibling.

Euro Hot holiday drooolllllllll. I am desperate for some sun.

Sea How are you feeling? How often do they test your beta? I imagine you are still regularly being drained of blood?? I am glad you feel that the ARGY has treated you well, it is always good to hear of peoples expereinces at different clinics. I don’t think we would do another round at create, but never say never I guess. I think if we went to ARGY I would have to take time off work, which is a bit off putting tbh.

Pout I am so cross on your behalf that you don’t get an NHS round, it makes me particularly cross that there is such a postcode lottery as I don’t use the NHS for anything else so I feel like it is our bl00dy right to at least get some IVF out of it. Is there anyway you can work around it at all? Have you appealed?

Free I hope the good scan has reduced menkilling stakes in the Free household!

Fox every cycle where it is possible I always think this will be my ironidiff month, infact even if I know we didn’t dtd at the right time or whatever there is still a little devil on my shoulder saying ‘well it could be you’. Every month AF arrives, and it is disappointing. Two and a half years in……will I ever learn?!

Devon Great news that you get an NHS round. As Gin said to me, often it is just a numbers game. Third time’s a charm and all that. When do you start?

Nelly What news with your DE? Have you decided where to go?

Cos how are you feeling?

Waves Lemons Mad and everyone else I have missed.

Moan alert: Started taking the pill yesterday, is it wrong I have absolutely NO FAITH this round will work due to the total lack of medical supervision. Are any of you ladies an NHS round success story? I just feel like this is a pointless waste of time and me taking hormones I don’t want to. I know I should be grateful we get an NHS round at all, but given the level of care I have had so far it seems a bit pointless.

ten in fact art was an NHS success, first round. I wasn't NHS but was in a never-the-less unconvincing situation (never had a single blood test before or during my two rounds for example) in a very much one size fits all cycle. Just to say, it can work. Good luck.

Ten I think mad was an nhs round too, weren't you mad? You never can tell, you've started now so keep going and good luck. Where are you doing this round? How long will you take the pill for?

So I did another digi today (and also weds) both still saying 2-3 wks, so not gone up to 3+. Finding it impossible not to worry so have booked a scan at epu on Monday.

Thanks Doll I think I probably just need to shut up and get on with it, but it is very disconcerting I haven't seen a doctor yet, just been sent a big bag of drugs!

X-post Cos, a scan sounds like a good idea to stop the worrying. I hope everything is ok and Monday comes around quickly to give you some reassurance.

I am at St Hellier which is a loooooooong way from where I live. I think I take the pill for 26 days and then start the Buseralin injections, I have contacted the clinic and I am going in next week to have a conversation about the round so at least I am given a vague idea of what to expect in terms of timelines etc.

ten I was an nhs round although to be fair it was my second round that worked. Both attempts used exactly the same protocol but with one I only got 2 eggs and with the next I got 8. I am a firm believer that sometimes we just get lucky. I guess I'm saying go with the flow. I only saw doctors for scans and the EC and ET otherwise it was just nurses. Sometimes they went out to ask a doctor a question but usually it was just them.

Scan sounds good cos. My digi test didn't go up either so try not to read too much into it xx

I have heard of the cabbage leaf treatment critter. Hopefully it works quickly for you.

on the phone and needing to get back to work. Have a good weekend all.

Oh Mad, thank you for that. I've been really worried its stopped and analysing every twinge.

Handhold cos I'm a firm believer that those digi tests are the work of the devil. I'm really hoping that you have a positive scan and that you get to see someone lovely. I want this to work out so, so much. I often think of you, especially as I walk down to the warm feet village, which I do often. In fact I'm doing it this afternoon to get a train to the seaside. I'd love to meet up for a coffee sometime but understand if you don't want to / if it's too awkward. Hope you have a lovely weekend planned and that it passes quickly with not too much men killing X

Princess would love to meet for a coffee and a cuddle, (with Elodie obvs, though may need one from you too if this goes wrong!). There's some great places for coffee near us - I like the restaurant / cafe in your village which rhymes with what you feel when you need a drink!

Mad how are you doing by the way, did you have your 20 wk scan ok? Know what you're having?

critterbig hugs the crap just seems to continue, I hope its Savoy Cabbage down your Bra, that is the best one for the job.

ten I am at St Helier in Sutton ??? I was told they didn't offer IVF on the NHS unless you mean a different one

devon great news you get a round on the NHS

cos I found the digi didn't go up to 3+ when I thought it should do, actually just looked at my ledger, it went up then back down to 2-3 weeks then back up to 3+, That all happened over a week with bleeding thrown in for good measure, I think a scan is a good idea

Cos yay! Let's do it. I like that place too. It's quite close to my house which is a big bonus. Let's arrange! I'll FB you xx

cos I did have my scan thanks. Will be 24 weeks on Monday and all is fine. We didn't find out what we're having. I like the idea of something being a surprise. Signed off by the consultant last week which is good. What I have found most surprising is that none has gone near my nether regions since the internal scan at 7 weeks. I keep tidying things up just in case though . Jealous of your lovely coffee with princess! Can you tell I'm distracted today?????

critter I am glad to read that you are home and heartened that you received such kind care in hospital. I have been thinking of you often & marvelling at how strong you are being. It is so crap that you are having to deal with physical reminders of everything. I hope that the cabbage sorts things out pronto.

mad lemons and free I was very happy to read that your scans went well. mad I chuckled at your tidying up just in case. That is the only good thing about being dropped from the treatment system, I don't have these worries any more about what is appropriate!

cos I too have heard that the digis are the work of the devil and cause so much concern because they simply aren't accurate. I am so hoping that this pregnancy works out for you, you have been another one of our ten plussers who have been in my thoughts alot over the last few months. Have you made an appointment at the EPU?

sea I don't think that I have properly jumped up and down and screeched my massive congratulations at your line and fab blood results. I am so chuffed for you especially after all that patient waiting and stabbing you had to do before even cycling.

Good news devon that you will get the funding you need. It would have been grossly unfair if you didn't given everything you have thrown at this. Hurrah!

ray any news with you as to when things might kick off with your FET?

ten Goodness, you will be starting soon. I was also surprised about how non plussed off & matter of fact the hospital were about the IVF especially the natural FET cycle. I guess because it is such a massive deal for us we kind of expect that everyone else should be rushing round in a state of blind panic about it I am sure that things will step up a bit more at the hospital once you get underway.

buzz any news with you ignoring the fact that I am doing that annoying thing people do when others are imminently going to have a baby

Buzzy in carlshalton? I have to have everything up to ec there and then et onwards is at kings. It is a separate lady unit at the back of the hospital....wierd if it is the same place... Not long to go now!

Pout you're right, I am just going to have to relax and go with it.

Mad HA, ttc has resulted in me finding it strange if I go to a doctor and they don't immediately dildo cam me!

Thank you all for your words of advice etc, sometimes you just need someone to tell you to calm down and go with it hey;)

critter - i'm so sorry you have had such a painful reminder. I can only imagine that it is extremely miserable. I hope it all subsides soon and desperately hope nothing hormonal occurs. I feel sickened that you are going through this. But I am still in awe of how you have handled everything.

Cos lovely, I'm so sorry about the stressful time. Are you about 6 weeks now? I too wouldn't put much emphasis on the digi sticks. I think they can be very misleading in more ways than one. But I understand the need to know that things are progressing as they should. I will be thinking of you on Monday.
Is your consultant MrS in Epsom? I do believe that progesterone/oestrogen balance is vitally important. I am currently trying to rebalance mine which are totally out of whack and then i may think about progesterone support. Your successes with it have got me thinking a lot about it!

Ten - i'm sorry you are feeling like this. I can totally relate though. i also can't believe an nhs round will work for me. Whilst i'm grateful I have the one shot at it, I can't see how it will work. In fact i posted on FF to see if anyone had had success anywhere after failed cycles at my clinic and I didn't get a response. That would be a no then! But Mad and Art did have success and many others do and it could very well be your lucky break.

Free - excellent news about your scan. So thrilled for you.

Sea - I hope you are well and everything progressing nicely.

I think my first ivf appt is around 20th March and then it's another 4-6 month wait after that so a long way away. Our new place doesn't have a shower and can't have one as ceilings too low and so Roy is roasting his sperm every night in the bath. Not only that he seems to be drinking every night as well so both these things are not going to help our cause!

critter you are being incredibly strong, but don't feel that you always have to be (at least on here). Grief means going through some different stages and often anger and some pretty ugly emotions. I don't want you to feel that you can't let those out here if you want to. We're here for whatever you need.

cos time seems to move at a different speed in early pregnancy. I feel like it has been months already, but I'm only at 9 weeks. I'm willing myself on to 12 (although of course that brings no guarantees, but is a big milestone).

devon I'm sorry that you have more waiting. A friend I used to work with has a similar history to you and has mc'd (twice I think) after treatment at the same clinic. Her NHS round didn't bring any joy, but she seems to have been glad she did it and had a break from spending vast amounts per cycle. I'm not sure what her plan is now. We are overdue a catch up. I think it often is just a case of catching the right egg and sperm combination, and that could happen at any clinic. (Funnily enough, she has just started working at the same place as one of the egg buddies who was successful - it's a small world!)

sea how are you doing? If nothing else, my work trip will take away any temptation to pop to the EPU next week! And then I have the Harmony test and quick viability scan just after I get back.

ten that's interesting about Create. I wasn't wowed by them but liked the relaxed approach to drug taking, which is why I stuck with them for 4 rounds.

buzz how are you doing?

princess nice of you to visit. :)

AFM, I am feeling a little better. My nose is peeling and I am still ridiculously knackered though. I'm trying to work from bed. Must. Get. Off. MN.

ten yep thats the place, big white opressive building with minty green walls, womens bit at the back

pout nada, I had a failed sweep yesterday, couldn't reach my cervix bump is still quite high, I do get lots of trapped wind and can fart like a squaddie much to Barrys disgust, can't stand the competition, roll on Tuesday, I had a cry today as for some reason I feel so guilty, even got upset about how this will all upset the cat