TTC 10+++ months part 18

[Mrsden]

This is the BFP thread.

Cr

Critter I am so so sorry that you are going through this. I simply can't imagine how heart breaking this must be. My thoughts are with you and mrc. I am in awe of how positive your posts have sounded but if you need to please dont feel like you cant shout /scream/ grieve in any way you feel necessary. Take care of yourself and mrc

Critter - I can't stop thinking about you and MrC. You are a wonderful and amazing person and you should not be having to go through this. You of course will be in deep shock and I am pleased you have had good care and you have your parents out there with you at the moment. I just want to say that if you feel like you want or need to write things down and to talk about the time you had with your son, your grief or anything, please know that we are here. Don't ever feel like you can't. Much love. X

Darling critter I think we have all cryed our hearts out here. You are such a beautiful person, this is so terribly terribly sad. All my thoughts are with you and your family.

You will be in shock critter. How are you physically after the bleeding and c section? It's so typical of your kindness that you were still thinking of us when you post. But as Devon has said, post whatever you want on here, if it helps to write it down then do, we are all here to help you in whatever way we can. You, mr c and beautiful James are in my thoughts.

Critter, I am in awe at your ability to see the good things. I am so glad that holding and cuddling little James made it all worthwhile. It makes it even more unbearable that it was so short. I am grateful for the good care you've had from the hospital and that your parents are with you. I am however furious with the universe for this happening at all. I am sitting in my commuter train quietly crying for you, mrC, and James. All my love, thoughts and care.

As others gave said please feel completely free to post your thoughts and feelings, both beautiful and hideous. This is so wrong, there are no words!

Oh Critter. Tears here too. As the others have said, words are inadequate. Sending lots of love to you, Mr C and James. I'm glad you got to meet your beautiful son but so sorry that your time with him was so cruelly short. Things like this should not be allowed to happen when you have already been through so much. Huge hugs across the internet xxx

Critter - I am devestated for you, oh sweetheart words are not enough. James sounds like a beautiful baby born to beautiful parents. I am glad you had a short time with him. Take care and stay close to your loved ones. Thinking of you both. Xxx

Critter, I've just found out about your poor boy and I just can't believe life can be so cruel to someone who has been through so much. You are such a caring and warm person I just find it inconceivable that this has happened to you. I am so glad your family was with you and that you all got to spend time holding James (those memories will be so precious). As others have said there is nothing I can say that will be of any use to you at all, I find myself in tears and feel like giving myself a slap as it's not my pain to feel. My thoughts are with you and your family, and your lovely boy.

Critter, I lit a candle for James last night and dreamed about you all. You are very much in my thoughts. I'm glad your family is there with you. I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you. x

critter Everyone has said it all so much more eloquently than I ever could but I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you. I laid in bed last night thinking of you and wishing that I could do something for you. I also wanted to say that James sounds like an amazing and smashing baby who won't be forgotten by anybody on this thread.
Like everybody has already said if you need to speak/grieve on here please don't hold back we are all here either on the thread or via PM. I am so, so sorry critter. Much love to you.

Thanks so much everyone again. I am humbled by but also so incredibly grateful for the outpouring of love from you all and all the lovely and comforting things you guys have said. I feel a bit embarrassed to have derailed the thread, especially in the light of sea's wonderful and so well-deserved news, which we should be celebrating. Sea, honey did you get your hcg tested again to see if it's doubling? And cos and euro, I hope you're both ok? I know everyone has gone through some horrible misery on this 'journey' which is probably why you are all so amazingly compassionate and kind. But I am so sorry again for the thread hogging. I think I'm going to wait several months and just see what happens before trying to get pregnant again as apparently the longer I wait the stronger my uterus scar will be and I'm scared to risk another baby in any way if there's something I can do to avoid it. But I would like to pop on here and cheer you all on while I wait. Love you guys. Thank you so much for being here for me.

Critters - you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about whatsoever and you are not thread hogging at all. I am in total awe and admiration of your kindness, positivity and generosity especially when you are going through such a horrific time. I am just so so so sorry I can't be there in real life to provide you with a little bit of comfort. I haven't be able to stop thinking about you, MrC and little James. I am so happy that you got to spend some precious time with him and so devastated that you didn't have more time with him. I am amazed by your strength and I have absolutely no doubt that you will be a mum again - and very soon too. And know that James will never ever be forgotten by any of the ten plussers. I know I will also remember him in my heart. Love to you Critters and MrC too. xx

Critter – i just want to say you are an extraordinary human being. I’m in total wonderment of your remarkable character and outlook and how you can even think of others at this time. Please be sure that you have not derailed any thread and don’t ever feel like you can’t share anything. I think it all sounds very sensible to wait a while so you can grieve and try to heal physically and emotionally. Thinking about you and your family a lot.

Sea – lovely , how are you doing and your beta? I hope you are feeling a little better and some of the pain has dissipated.

Cos and Euro, thinking about you both as well.

Your kindness and generosity show in your thoughts for others, critter! But please feel free to post or pm about your devastating loss whenever and however you want. This is not Thread-derailing. We all came here to give and recieve support during this journey. Yours took a terrible turn, if you feel comfortable anything you want to post about Zjames, the birth, the day and the aftermath is completely welcome here.

If it makes you feel more at ease, I can confirm I am very happy for Sea and rooting for her and euro and all the others on deserved wins, that stick.

But lovely and wonderful critter my thoughts are and will be first and foremost for you. So feel welcome and know the derailing as you call it, is our need to try and support or empathise with you and mrC!

Apologies for fat phone fingers, I know he's called James and won't forget. X

critter just to say I too am still thinking of you, James and Mr C lots. I'm not religious, but said a prayer for James. Please please don't apologise for derailing the thread lovely lady. Vent, rant, ignore, please do whatever you need to. And do look after yourself and make sure you get yourself fully recovered from the section. I still can't believe you are having to go through this xx

sea I don't think I've said congrats yet!! I'm thrilled for you and wondering if there are 2 onboard... I do think you should go down to a&e and get checked out. Ohss affects kidney function, so the blood in your urine should be checked out. Also you shouldn't be left so uncomfortable. Have they given you clexane? I had a high dose to prevent clots when at ohss risk. I too wonder if the clinic don't want to record a patient hospitalised with ohss... Anyway hope you are feeling better and that the bfp is sinking in!

euro I know this sounds wrong, but I was chuffed to read of your haematoma! So so pleased centime is settled in. I WILL see you at the create baby party :) Yes our neighbours were twunts about ginster crying for 5 mins at 6 am, but my passive aggressive note to them did the trick and they came round and apologised with chocolate! Has made me even more desirous of living in a detached house, which we'll never be able to afford...

pout I was gutted to read of your shit appointment. The postcode lottery makes me VERY cross. I'm sure there must be ways of abusing the system and saying you live elsewhere...

Waves and luffs to everyone else. You are such a great bunch of ladies and really are so much more than randoms on the interweb.

Critter I work near the seafront - I came down tonight in the twilight and said a prayer across the ocean into the sunset. Xxx

Critter - It's absolutely true. I have received so many lovely PM from all our 10 plus ladies. We just all want so much to be here for you now. Please post as much as you want to - about anything you want or feel. We are always here to listen and support. Hugs and love to you.

Euro - How are you? Any news on another scan? I think you have to go on a trip when the next one is schedule - no?

Free - I think it's your scan v soon or maybe you have already had it. Did you see a sac and/or heartbeat?

Cos - How are you? I hope the bleeding has gone.

My beta went up to 745 today so good news but it looks like it will be intralipids or ivig for me on Wed. I waited 2 hours to see the doc only to be told that as I am no longer bleeding as of this morning (I have been for the last 3 days) that they won't see me!? I should have probably said I was still bleeding just to get checked out properly but they had just taken 9 vials of blood from me and I was feeling so dizzy I wasn't thinking straight. Let's hope the blood in urine doesn't reappear now. I still look around 6 months pregnant and I have no idea what to say to clients I am seeing tomorrow who are bound to ask why I am suddenly sporting a massive belly.

Gin - yes I am on 2 x 20mg Clexane a day plus baby aspirin. They did do a liver function test and it's all fine. So I guess it looks okay. Hopefully the blood will stay away. But I will definitely go to A&E if I feel things get any worst. Thanks for the thought!

critter you are hardly derailing anything, we are all here for you, we can't imagine what you are going through but we are here to support no matter what.

sea glad the bleeding has stopped, and yay to improving HCG

cos and euro I hope all is well with you two

critter you and your lovely husband are in my thoughts. I hope you are doing ok physically. I cannot imagine recovering from emergency surgery on top of everything else you have to deal with.

sea that's very good news about your beta. I do suspect that there are 2 lurking in there with those numbers! I'm glad the blood has stopped but I'm sorry you are still so bloated. That cannot be comfortable.

I am away on biz next week when the EPU offered me a 10 week scan to follow up. But I'm booked in for the Harmony test at 10+4, and I think they do a quick viability scan before they take the blood. That's 2 weeks today, which seems like a long time, but hopefully with the trip in the middle to distract me it won't drag too much. And then the private clinic that does the Harmony test will do a nuchal at 12+4 when I get the Harmony results. My NHS 12 week scan appointment has come through and it is also on 12+4, so I will cancel it. The bleeding appears to be easing now (but every time I have thought that over the past 2 weeks, it has always returned with a vengeance, so I am not counting any chickens).

cos how are you doing?

critter this thread is so wonderful because it is here for all of us when we need it. You have been a brilliant support to so many others and are more than deserving of support just now. Have been thinking of you all day xx

sea i didn't get a chance to say congrats either. Your patience and perseverance is paying off. Please err on the side of caution with getting a second opinion at hospital though. It all sounds dreadful!!

euro i agree with gin that it was a relief to read that you know what is the cause of the bleeding. These first weeks are definitely the longest but your trip will be a good distraction until the next scan.

cos I think of you often and so want this to work out for you. I am impressed that you are able to wait dorm a blood test. I don't think I could do it.

On my phone so big waves to all will have to suffice but I'm trying to catch up on all the news. You really are a wonderful bunch and I'm only sorry that we can't all be there to support each other in person instead of just over the internet.

I agree Critter you've been unbelievably supportive to everyone all the way along, but your ability to think of others now is just awe inspiring.

This thread really has brought together some of the most wonderful people I've ever 'met'.

Thanks for asking, I'm fine, feeling very normal. I've had quite bad insomnia for the last 10 days but last night slept through, took a temp which was lower, cue a big wobble, but digi still said 2-3 and the 'pregnant' bit came up quite quick. So to sum up, overanalysing every little detail? Of course.

Mad that was so sweet to say you think of me, I'm so chuffed for you that it's all still going well.

And Sea, great news about the numbers, are you feeling any better ohss-wise?

Cos I would be analyzing every detail too. The test sounds good but I know you won't be able to relax for a while. Creating new life is a scary business. I will be willing you to have some good luck this time.

Euro really crossing my fingers for your scan. Hope the business trip isn't too knackering.

Sea I wondered if it might be twins with those high numbers... Will be hoping the bleeding stays away an that you can get some reassurance soon.

I also totally agree that this thread has brought together some of the most amazing people I've ever met. I have talked to you guys about this more than to most of my real life friends because I know you all get it and understand. Am so lucky to have found you all.