TTC 10+++ months part 18

[Mrsden]

This is the BFP thread.

no sea blood in pee doesn't seem normal at all. Do go to the GP. Thanks for the Chinese doc suggestion, I'm not that far from China ... but I don't know how I would go about finding non-Western medical practice, ridiculous. nelly thanks for your suggestions, the teas I likely could find, no harm in trying. ray I'm not too bad now, apart from this issue, thanks for asking. I know bloating is common after any adbo surgery but 3 months after? Weridly I had no problems at all after my lap where they deliberately filled me up with air! It really does my head in.

sea that isn't normal at all. Please go to see a GP (or A&E/OOH if you feel you need it). I am worried about you.

And on a lighter note, happy birthday to cos!

Thanks guys!

Doll this is probably not all that helpful but when I get trapped wind in my digestive tract which happens fairly often the things that help it go are cutting out / down on gluten, dairy, sugar, going on gentle walks and lying on my stomach. What you've got sounds quite severe though I second an alternative medicine practitioner, maybe some kind of massage?

Sea what was the clinic's rationale for not draining the fluid, was it anything to do with affecting the outcome or just how severe you were? Can you push them a bit? Great news about the line.

Waves all round.

sea is it OTD today?

Cos Happy birthday!

sea Oh God at blood in your wee. It doesn't sound right and I would go with your instinct and get a second opinion (difficult as that is when you have a whole load of other numpties at the clinic trying to play it down). I have been thinking of you loads and imagining how crap it must be to have to sleep on a chair with your head against the wall. I hope that you feel better soon ignoring the faint positive thing until you feel better but secretly cheering on little bean!

doll I am sorry too that you have had complications after your C- section. How crap. I think Nelly had some great advice.

Thank you ladies for your kindness about the non referral. I don't think that it is worth appealing since it is quite clear having reread the PCT guidance note thingies that you need to be within a certain area. It is just galling that if I was aged 34 I would get another go at IVF based on this address with no issue. Fecking galling when you have been in the system for almost 4 years! Anyway I feel a bit better today (many thanks for the suggestion to read the thread in Chat about benefits of childlessness, it cheered me up alot!). I guess I just feel that I was meandering towards acceptance of "the end" by taking baby steps and this latest door slamming in my face feels like someone bundled me into a Ferrari to destination 'end of the road' and I'm not ready to be here yet.

Hope that we all have lovely Sundays planned. It's lovely and sunny here so that's cheery!

Doll - I don't know where you are in the world but if you are in Hong Kong or Singapore I might be able to ask friends in that part of the world for an English speaking Chinese doc. I think expat sites or just asking all your network is the best thing. It's always best to get a personal recommendation for Chinese docs as there are charlatans around unfortunately.

Pout - These hard and fast rules are so unfair. I know you are not keen an appeal but it seems to be you have a good case if you have been in the system waiting for 4 years already. I am really angry on your behalf. Maybe it's worth sleeping on it and thinking it through? I hope you enjoyed the cake yesterday.

Cos - They think draining is too much for the amount of water I am retaining. They just think it doesn't warrant drainage at this stage. I am still v bloated but since I cut back my water intake I am feeling a little better. Are you doing something nice to celebrate your birthday?

Euro - Yes it is today.

I got a call from the clinic and my hcg beta is 540. I have no idea what that means but they seemed to be happy. So I guess it's all worked. I am v happy and of course apprehensive about what the forthcoming weeks will bring. They also want to check me again tomorrow to understand the cause of the ongoing bleed. Apparently urine test showed no infection so it's a bit of mystery.

Sea what brilliant news! That is very high hcg - I hope you're feeling a little better physically.

Cos, happy birthday lovely.

Doll I am so sorry to hear you've been so unwell. Thinking of you.

Pout that's incredibly frustrating about your referral.

Warning - selfish post coming up. I'm sorry in advance for posting this here but don't know where else to put it. It doesn't fit in miscarriage and doesn't feel right in the bereavement area either. My little son James was born at 39 +3 yesterday morning at around 1am by emergency c section. He was active right up to late Friday night, when I started bleeding and went into the hospital shortly after. I didn't have contractions but wasn't sure what the blood was. Something went wrong with the placenta apparently. Anyway long story short he was deprived of oxygen by the placenta issue and his heartbeat had dropped massively by the time we got to the hospital. He was born severely brain damaged and his organs started slowly shutting down over the course of the day. He slipped away last night. We got to hold him for a day which was amazing, and my parents also arrived in time to hold him before they took out his tubes. MrC was awesome, the hospital was wonderful, I feel so grateful I had this time and got to take photos and cuddle him. He looked like MrC but with my coloring. They've advised me to wait at least a couple of months before trying for a second baby, so I may lurk a while and then rejoin you all. Apologies for freaking you guys out - this was apparently a 1 in 1000 chance or something so very unlikely to happen. Love to all.

Critter - sending you huge amounts of love. I'm So sorry to hear of your loss, and totally amazed by your upbeat post and that you're able to see the positives. With your families support (and ours I hope) you will come out of tragedy all the stronger.

Oh my darling Critter. I am in tears reading that. I have no words. You are such an amazing wonderful person and for you and Mr C to have been dealt this had defies any right in the world. I am so very very sorry for your loss. Know that we are all here for you, whenever you need us. Please don't apologise for posting; or indeed for not posting. This is the cruellest blow and I ache for you, and for beautiful James too. With much much love xxxx

critter I am so so sorry, I can't imagine your heartache,after everything you have been through, thinking of you and mr c

Critters I don't have words. So shocked and sad for you, MrC and James. I wish I could give you a huge hug. I'm in tears posting this. Please post anytime you want to. You are always welcomed. We all love and are here to support you.

Oh critter I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible news. Congratulations on become mum to James, but many, many more condolences on loosing him so soon. I am amazed you can still see the positives and be grateful for the day you had with him. Huge squeezes. I am crying for you on the other end of the world and the other end of the internet. Handholds and lots of love.

Dearest Critter - oh my love, I can't believe what I've just read. I am ever so sorry for your loss. There are no words. Life can be utterly devastating and cruel and I am so so sorry for the loss of your son. It is a testament to your sheer strength and generous character that you apologise for telling us but also for seeing any positives. I am thinking of you at this horrible time.

Oh critter. I can't believe what I have just read and am so utterly devastated for you and your family. I too am sobbing as I type. I am so so sorry you have to go through this. Please take time to mourn James (who I'm sure was gorgeous) and look after yourself. I wish I could do something to help and make this a little less painful for you. Sending you and Mr C big big hugs. I'll be thinking of little James the next few days xx

I just lit a candle for little James. I am so devastated for you.

I am so sorry critter, words are inadequate. I too will light a candle for James. Tears streaming down my face so I can't begin to imagine how you and mr c are feeling. I'm pleased you have your family around you, and that you can take a little comfort from having had some precious time with James in your arms.

critter my lovely, I am so, so sorry. I feel absolutely devastated for you. I cannot believe that this happened. I am posting through tears. How can such an awful thing happen to such lovely people? I'll light a candle for James tonight. Please post here as often as is useful to you. We'll be here when you need us. x

Oh lovely Critter how unbelievably heartbreaking and unfair, I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss. I know this may not be of any comfort and talking of other situations isn't always that helpful but this same thing happened to my lovely next door neighbour - she has now had two further gorgeous children and she says she still thinks about her first born son often. There is of course some comfort in how easily you fell pg with Ivf and the number of frosties left but oh my dear having come all that way to get such a short amount of time with him is just devastating. Sending you all the love and best wishes in the world and so glad Mr C and your family are with you.

critter there is nothing I can say apart from take care of yourself and MrC and take time to grieve the loss of your son. You sound so strong and positive but your emotions will be all over the place. I am so very very sorry xx

Oh Critter I'm simply devastated for you and MrC. This is utterly unfair, I'm aghast. I too am shedding tears. You're very brave to post and with positivity too. Like Lemons I will light a candle for your beautiful son, James. Hugs sent over the internet don't seem enough. I don't have the words to express how sorry I am. Sending all the love in the world. My thoughts are with you and your family Xxx

critter I am so shocked and sad for you and MrC. I am so sorry that you didn't get more time with your wonderful son James. I am also sorry that I don't know what to write to express how devastated I am for you and MrC. Lots of love to you both X

Critter, I am so devastated to come on here and see this news, I'm heartbroken for you. There are no words I know that will help but we are here for you, both within the confines of mn and beyond, if and when you need us. You are such a beautiful person and I'm in shock that this could happen. I echo princess in admiration that you speak here with positivity at this time. I'm glad you got to meet James and make some memories. I'm so sorry Critter, big big love
X

critter I don't have the words to express my sorrow having read about your loss. Know that I'm thinking of you, MrC and your beautiful baby boy James. Sending you much love and sympathy.

Thank you all so much for your lovely lovely messages. It means an awful lot. I am very sad and in shock I think still but the hospital has been wonderful and so kind, and I am just grateful I got some time with our little guy. The feeling of holding him made everything worth it, and so I guess what I want to say is to keep going, don't give up on motherhood, because it felt like the most magical and special thing in the world to cuddle my baby. I want you all to have that feeling.