TTC 10+++ months part 18

[Mrsden]

This is the BFP thread.

Also, exclusive donor is HUGELY expensive. I cant go overseas due to general hospital panic, it would send me over the edge I think.

Yes, it's today cos and I have to say i am feeling everyone of my +++ years. This has been a helluva a few weeks and has aged me considerably! Happy Birthday for Sunday!

fox the hormone crash is rough. I understand the hospital panic.

Hmm, wish I could confidently say that would never happen with the nhs!
Grrr. Fingers crossed you get answers soon so you k ow what you're doing.

Cross pos euro, yes I can well understand. Do you ever sometimes feel about 50 just from a life experience point of view?! I often feel I have more in common with people far older at the moment!

Lots of sorries all round.fox housemess on top of everything is just bloody annoying. :(

Sorry for the complete headfuck sea. How are you now? Have you got tests in the house?

Sorry about another delay ray. It's an interminable wait, isn't it?

Many happy returns from me too, euro. I hope next year you'll be cuddling with centime with all this behind you.

How are you cos? Early happy birthday for Sunday!

Happy birthday Euro! I know what you mean. Ivf and all its shit is thoroughly draining. I look and feel old which scares me.

Cos lovely, how are you today? Are you still bleeding?
I do feel like I have gained life experience in the last few years. Felt pretty battered to be honest.

Fox- very difficult to have faith with the nhs. I haven't heard anything and it was a month ago I was told I would be called back on the day to be told if I get a cycle.

Fox , nellly - out of interest have you had conversations with family members and friends about DE? Are they supportive? Just curious as I had a long conversation with my bro and his wife last night about it and they seem to think that is a better route for us than adoption. they surprised me actually.

euro I thought your birthday must be coming up soon happy birthday

foxy I actually found going overseas less stressful than dealing with clinics here, no lost letters or medical notes, they were polite and on time, always answered emails.

cos Happy birthday for Sunday, how are holding up

devon I have to say that I don't think I came across any real negativity about DE, if people thought it was strange they never said it to my face, my IL's were very supportive about it. I think for some people it is something they have never thought about as they haven't had fertility issues or that terrible yearning to be a parent.

Happy bday euro. At last, you don't have to say "another birthday where I'm not pregnant"

Sea oh lovely everyone has given you good advice but I can't begin to imagine how stressed you feel.

Foxy, deep breaths. House mess is temporary as is the hormone crash. Hugs.

Cos I can't believe they won't even do blood till 8weeks. I would be banging someone's door down by now.

Ray can't believe there is more waiting, sometimes it feels like I've been in a queue for this stuff for about 45 years....

Devon we've not talked to our family at all, they have no idea of our dark secret (infertility I mean). My sister does know due to her history, she is fully supportive and would have done DE herself if it hadn't worked with her own eggs.

At work so gotta scoot.

Dev how did you feel about them saying that, who brought it up?

Buzz when's d-day again?

I haven't had any more bleeding so am going for a head in the sand approach for as long as possible. Last time when it stopped even though I was taking all the prog I just started to feel very wrong so figure I'll know about it.

Fox, I hope you get an answer soon. So much waiting just adds to the pain. I don't know what aspect of foreign clinics you might panic about but my experience has been that the level of care is superb here. It hasn't got me pregnant though!

Nelly, do you think your family have guessed? I suspect mine might have done. I lost count of the times over Christmas that my mum told me stories about people having ivf and it being successful. It just never felt quite right to tell her though. Also in her stories it sort of showed her ignorance about it all and I just don't think I could cope with having to explain everything in detail. It's sort of nice knowing that no one is going to ask me about it. I actually don't like talking about it.

Joy, how is your sil after the miscarriage?

Happy birthday euro.! What a fantastic one you will have next year, exciting times.

X post with cos. fingers crossed for no more bleeding, I wonder if you have something like what euro has?

Happy birthday Euro

Just coming on to wish Euro a very happy birthday. I remembered you and Cos are fellow January babies.
I wish you a very uneventful pregnancy for your birthday.

Cos. I'm glad the bleeding has stopped. Would you not be tempted to pay for some private hcg blood tests just for peace of mind? I feel in my bones that you are close! I really really hope so.

Ray I'm sorry for the immune testing delays. I know how frustrating that is. Will you be doing the full Chicago bloods?

Fox I'm sorry hormones are playing up and Nhs is dragging their feet. In my experience you do need to keep chasing the Nhs.

Devon I can't believe they still haven't told you about your round. That's not acceptable. I would be on the phone to them. I find contacting PALs help.

Lemons a boy is just fab fab news. I'm delighted for you.

Waves to buzzy, ten and free!

Afm, another crazy day running back and forth to the clinic. I spoke with them about my worsening ohss symptoms. I can no longer put my own shoes and socks on. All my front is rigidly bloated. I struggle to sleep on any side and the room spins when I lie down flat.

When I called about the bleed they said if it's bright red I had to go in right away. Drugs wise - I'm on 100ml Gestone every day along with 2 x Clexane, baby aspirin and steroids plus anti sickness. Anyway, the good news, the blood seems not to be coming from the fanny. It's more than likely an infection (the pain when I pee is now quite bad - blood every time). The bad news is ohss has got worst. Water can now be seen in pelvic area, around ovaries and the stomach. I have now been told to reduce my water intake. I'm still considered okay and don't need to be drained yet. The doc told me "it's a good sign you can still speak!?" Anyway I'm awaiting urine test to see if I do have an infection. Funnily enough I'm not men killing at all about OTD. I'm in too much pain and discomfort to think about that right now. I had thought ivf was okay up till now. Yes the injections, constant blood tests and dildo cams were tough going but bearable but the pain I have felt in the last 3 days have beaten me. I feel totally beaten by ivf now. Ivf = 1, Seamermaid = 0.

In my head if this cycle doesn't work I will use my frosties and see how that goes. I don't think I have it in me for another fresh LP round.

Forgot to add Nelly. I understand the not wanting to share with family about infertility. I didn't say anything for a long time but just before this round decided to tell close family members. Their reaction has been less than supportive. I wish I had kept my mouth shut tbh.

Sea - my god, it sounds absolutely horrendous and utterly miserable. Poor you. I really hope tomorrow brings a better day. Sorry to hear you didn't receive much support from family either. Some people will never understand.
Please look after yourself.

Holy sh*t sea. You poor poor thing. It sounds absolutely horrific. I'm thinking of you.

Happy birthday euro and happy birthday to cos soon.

Sending winter sunshine to all of you suffering with January blues.

Oh sea it sounds awful. I am so sorry you're suffering so much. I am by now fairly convinced the twins have snuggled in, but we need a mum to carry them to term. I am afraid it won't get better soon, and I would be tempted to have the fluid drained for a modicum of comfort. Also being in hospital for a few days may actually be a good thing. How are you feeling this morning?

Just quick waves to the others, posting from bed!

Me too Lem. Must get up!

Sea you poor thing. That just sounds fucking awful, if I may be so charming.... I guess good news about the bleeding, because the only way this level of suffering can be forgiven is if a couple of beautiful babies emerge out of it. Oh you are being such a trooper but don't be too brave :(

Ray, I think my mum might have, only cos she hasn't asked about her next grandchild for some time and I think she snoops when she stays here but other family, no.

Cos no more bleeding is good, I am a tiny bit quietly hopeful for you.

Right I have decided today is a day of action so up I get after a few more minutes on MN

Oh sea, you poor thing. That sounds totally miserable. Getting two beautiful babies is the silver lining though but I don't suppose that's much comfort when you feel so awful. I think I'd be tempted to get some fluid drained off if that's still an option. Are you on bed rest?

sea that sounds completely horrendous. Poor you! When will the clinic see you next?

Is OTD tomorrow?

cos how are you holding up?

ray whenever I see your new name, Phil Collins pops into my head singing "I wish it would rain down"!

Phil Collins? Who is he? Must have been before my time .

So apparently a nun in Italy has given birth without knowing she was pregnant. FFS. A nun. Come on!

I'm also feeling a bit sick about the sad news from Scotland this morning about the little boy, not sure if it's made headlines further sarf. Proof again that nature has no idea what she's doing. I was cheerier this morning as it had been dry. It now it's raining again so better get off the sofa and carry on with my day.

Oh actually my sentence above (re nature) doesn't make sense. I thought I'd read something conclusive about what happened, I hadn't, it was bloody stupid speculation. Must remember not to believe everything I read on the internet. . Still a terribly sad story.

Happy birthday euro

sea Oh I am so sorry that you are feeling so poorly. It sounds absolutely horrific. Not being able to lay down without the room spinning when you feel so ill must be so difficult. Sending you much love.

cos I have been thinking of you loads too and hope that you are okay.

nelly at the nun

Quick post from me, I really need to get showered and get to the supermarket but wanted to vent about my referral. We went, did all the weigh-in and BP thing, long history etc taken only to be told that we won't be offered any help because of our address. The nurse was absolutely lovely but we could have done without the bloody appointment. Then my stoopid, bitch of a body decides that my AF will be two days late and throw in a couple of "new" PMT symptoms just to get my hopes up of an ironic post all hope is lost BFP. Sorry ladies for the me, me, me crap when there are so many of you with real problems right now on the thread but I just feel so defeated. MrP has bought me some M&S lemon cheesecake and West County thick cream so I will attempt to self medicate on calories

Thinking of you all and big love and waves

Pout :( oh no I had so hoped this would work out for you. Can you appeal? And did the AF actually turn up, I am not sure from reading your post. Cheesecake sounds like a Good plan.

Also there is a thread in chat that I have just posted on, about the benefits of a child free life. Recommended reading for many of us. I feel better.