TTC 10+++ months part 18

[Mrsden]

This is the BFP thread.

doll how lovely to "see" you. I hope you are all doing well.

gin how are you doing? I saw your post about your awful neighbours on the IVF Worriers thread (I lurk occasionally to see how my old thread buddies are doing). I'm glad that you seem to have successfully put them in their place!

I'm just back from the EPU and once again, amazingly, everything is fine. They focussed on finding the source of the bleed this time and managed to. It's a subchorionic bleed. Basically, it is coming from below the sac and the blood is going straight through the cervix, so it shouldn't be interfering with the pregnancy. Which is good news. They offered me a rescan in 2 weeks, but I'm travelling then for work, so barring disasters, my next scan will be the one I have with the Harmony test in 2 and a half weeks. I should feel elated but I feel strangely detached from it all. I guess it's self-protection.

Oh Euro that is just amazing news! Finding the cause must be such a relief, and our wise Sar (I think it was?) was right. So, how many weeks pregnant are you now?? . what's a harmony scan

So I got hold of the clinic who are sending me information but I can't imagine it will tell me much I don't already know. Though they mentioned tests. Haven't I had enough already. Unfortunately their UK wait list is 6-9 months and I don't think I want to wait that long. Their overseas place is 1-3mths dependant on your requirements, for example my northern colouring might slow it down a bit. So now thinking about Independant options. Buzzy I haven't really used FF but will look into it. Serum is one option isn't it?

Cos thinking of you.

Euro - phew phew and phew. I think you'll feel elated once you give birth- until then it's too nervewracking. Glad they have found the source that must give you some comfort. Well done centime. Great name btw - she's not your hundredth egg is she?!

devon my 10th (not 100th, thankfully). But it seemed to fit well as a mini-euro!

nelly I'm 8 weeks today. Apparently a heartbeat at 8 weeks means a 98% chance of a viable pregnancy. So I should feel hopefuly, but I don't really. I just taking it one day at a time. If I get to the end of this, I really deserve a sneeze birth, but I suspect there is no justice in the world!

Harmony a blood test for chromosomal abnormalities. It's supposed to be more accurate than the nuchal offered on the NHS (in fact, UCL are currently carrying out the first NHS trial but at the moment it's only available privately). We wouldn't terminate for Down's syndrome, but we just want to know.

Nelly My clinic had a waiting list of 4-5 months but I believe others are shorter, I only went on to FF to get info from the others, they were great for answering questions even about where to eat or stay etc. I filled in the form then had to pay a deposit 2 weeks later.
I'm not sure why I chose Reprofit, they have a good reputation, I don't like Athens I mean genetically Serum might have been more sensible but just couldn't face the place
The clinic will ask for your results, I know Penny at Serum is keen on covering everything so she might suggest things to you, I think you can email her, she is really good

Cos I hope you are able to get some blood tests

Euro Glad that all is ok and that they found the cause of the bleeding

YAY here as well, euro!

Thinking of you, cos! I second the calls for some blood tests. I really hope the climbing hcg means good stuff!

Sorry you're so ill, sea! I am hoping it's all for a great cause. Keep yourself safe! I thought with ohss you need to monitor your weight and get back to hospital if needed!

Exciting steps, Nelly! Ready to cheer like mad!!

Buzz, it's a boy, we did find out :)

So much happening on here at the moment but I am in gruesome work hours this month so barely keeping up and struggling to type (hand problems continue - it isn't looking good, sad face). Wanted to send huge hugs to cos and sea and euro - all this waiting and worrying, so so tough. Euro, fantastic news today though - hope little bits of believing are slowly filtering in. Cos- this has to be good right? Did you ever see 2-3 weeks before? you must feel on a right tightrope. And sea - ouch. So hoping this is a good sign for you that a bfp is just around the corner but do take care.

Nelly, really interested in the clinic news, we will have to do some note swapping at some point. Tests? Eek. Not that any test can shock me now.A fibroid might totally piss me off though! I'm interested in how you decided who to call, FF? I am hoping to stay at my current clinic. I can't say they have been in any way imaginative with my treatment but they are kind, super supportive (not the ultrasounders - they are mean) and the place is plush and clean. Is this enough!? I have to wait to see if nhs will fund donor - it is a bit of an unknown. If they don't not sure what I'll do as I still have a round left (it would prob end up a 'natural' ivf type treatment with reduced menopur and oddly, clomid?). I won't know any of this until the end of the month and frankly I am glad of the break from thinking about it. There will be a 2-3 month wait allegedly as I have 'fairly average features' . I can't imagine it will be before summer though. If it doesn't work I will go down the immunes route before I go any further. They do do that at my clinic. I feel very relaxed about it all at the moment, I can't imagine ever being pregnant and don't have the mental space to think about adoption. So I'm just bumbling around really. I don't even feel that sad anymore. There is no longer the ticking clock so much. If I don't get where I want to be by 40, 42, (other than shameful old parent status). Of course, this calm is subject to change. Ironically a good friend is accidentally pregnant and doesn't want to be. Life is a sod sometimes. I didn't even feel sad or bitter. I felt sorry for her actually.

I am behind so sorry for not more personals. It is lovely to see art, critter and buzzy (soon!), princess, sar, lemon, gin and doll stopping by. Miss you all but so glad you are on the other side. Waves too to pout, devon, ten, ray and anyone else missed.

I can't bear January. Bring me my sunshine! 4 weeks til holidays

That cut off my sentence, it went, 42, 46, 48, 50! doesn't make much difference. Was not implying that 42 equals shameful old parent, was thinking about being 65 with 15 year old, it all came out wrong, pass me the shovel!!!!!

Euro - I am so happy and relieved the bean is okay. Glad they found the cause of bleed as well.

Cos - How are you? Did you manage to see a doc? Thinking of you.

Ten - How do you feel about starting again?

Devon - Any word from NHS?

Thank you ladies for your concern. It means a lot to me. I am sorry for the me me me post.

I feel terrible and my stomach is now so enlarged I am struggling to do anything. I can't fit into any clothes and I have put on another 2kg. I look 6 mths pregnant. The clinic have been good and called me twice today to check that I am okay. Unfortunately there is not much they can do at all. As long as I am still passing urine I am still considered okay. They told me that if I am pregnant I can expect this to go away in about 1 month's time. If it goes away it is more than likely I am not pregnant. I am now in an odd situation where if I feel better then it means bad news and if it continues like this it means I am preggo and I should be happy. I am so resentful of instadiffers right now. I know I should be happy that this could be a sign of it all working... but seeing my body like this is actually v scary and I struggle to do anything - even lie down or sneeze, eating is impossible... I am surviving on nuts

Oh Sea this is so miserable for you. What a wicked thing to have been put through. I can't imagine how awful you must feel; the only possible "right" solution will be to have a BFP confirmed. Instadiffers can go and do one. You have had such a tough journey and you deserve your BFP so much. I am glad the clinic are checking on you. Would you consider having the fluid drained? I know nothing about OHSS, having been so far away from the possibility of it myself.

Fox it's so lovely to hear from you but sorry you are so busy. This was just my normal clinic I called. I am not sure about their overseas link - as in, not sure it's for me. For instance apparently you get absolutely NO donor information before ET. This seems insane to me. So I am starting to look into other options. We can indeed hand hold together, very tightly I suspect!

Buzzy thanks for the info, I have never been to Athens so not sure about that side of it. Brno seems cheaper than Serum, but that is way cheaper than Valencia which is where my clinic use.

Sorry for incomplete catch up! Loves to everyone else. Oh Lemon, I think I must have missed your post about 20 week scan initially, and didn't say congrats. And a boy! We've had loads of girls on the thread (Doll the only recent boy I think) so that's a nice contrast. :)

oh sea big hugs

phone post

cos what? WHAT? What is this horrible confusion. So sorry you are going through this.

sea poor you. I hope you are being well looked after and feel well again soon.

euro one day at a time. Glad it was good news. I'm quietly willing things to go your way.

ten Thursday next week. Good luck with the meds

buzz exciting exciting exciting.

lemon great news about scan! Hoorah.

Bloody hell sea that sounds awful. Is mr sea looking after you well?

fox and nelly exciting times ahead. I occasionally dip into FF and there are definitely a lot of very knowledgeably posters over there.

A boy drzz. :)

Oh sea that does sound terrible, I hope you are managing to get through it. Are you managing to sleep? How about gentle walks does that help shift things around a bit, shake out some of the bloat? You've come so far and been so patient, not long now till you get a test result. Do they give you a blood pg test at your clinic?

Euro that's fantastic news, gosh it's really happening for you, how brilliant.

Lemon a boy - there's been so many girls, it seems more of a surprise!

Foxy I'm glad you're in a cruising place currently, I so agree about the sunshine. It's so important to have breaks from this crap, or lulls at least. I hope you have a chilled month, a nice hols and then get more of an idea of a plan.

Ray and Devon I hope you're ok. Waves all round.

Thanks so much for all your kind words and helpful suggestions. My clinic doesnt do hcg blood tests or scan before 8 weeks and I'm not sure i can face gp or elsewhere so am just going to try to wait it out and see what happens.

nelly don't let my dislike of the place put you off :) most people rave about it. Yes Brno was cheaper, I have heard Spain is pricey, I think there is a clinic in Cyprus as well

sea sorry you are feeling so crap, hope you get your BFP out of all of this and don't suffer too much

lemon a little boy, very exciting

cos fingers are crossed for you

Another selfish post from me. Bright red bleeding now and I'm 2 days from OTD. Can't help but think it's all over. Was all the suffering for nothing?

big hand hold sea thinking of you

Sea - that's exactly what I had dont forget. I was in bits and thought it was my period. You are on a lot of progesterone aren't you? I am pretty sure that holds period off so quite probably implantation bleeding. Is it a lot of blood? It all sounds horrendous though and very stressful - are you still in a lot of pain today?

sea if you're menkulling then do an early test if it will help. Bleeding really doesn't have to mean bad things. My friend had a full period after IVF and didn't even bother to test and when she went for the follow up appointment a couple of weeks later, it turned out she was pregnant!

Sea, I wasn't pregnant on either round and I didn't have any bleeding until a couple of days after stopping the progesterone. So I don't think bleeding is necessarily bad news. How is the ohss? I'm so sorry you're feeling so ill.

Euro, that is fantastic. It's great that they found a cause for the bleeding, it sounds like you've had good care from the epu.

I was supposed to be getting my bloods for the immunes done on Thursday but now I've got a meeting scheduled I can't get out of. So yet another delay, so typical.

Oh sea, I can only imagine how grim you are feeling. The trouble is, bleeding can mean either thing so hold the hope if you can. I had v faint spotting on prog but it was a full three days at least after I stopped that I had red bleeding so it could well be implantation. Hand hold from oop north.

I'm spotting and all positivity zapped away and replaced by futility and stuckness at the beck and call of the nhs. Again.

It's the hormones fox. Progesterone crash always zaps my positivity. Is your plan to do a donor round quite soon or will you be having another round with your own eggs first? I get the wibbles when I think of doing another fresh round.

Sea big hand hold, keep going lovely it could mean anything, it's not over yet.

Euro is it happy returns for today? (I lurk on other threads sometimes). Hope you have a good day. Mines sunday.

Fox massive squeeze. Hormones are a nightmare. Did you say you're expecting to hear end of jan from the nhs?

Ray how annoying, delays just add to the mental ness of it all.

Ray if nhs say yes I will move straight to donor. I can then use savings for another donor round if it fails. Otherwise I'd be putting all of my (actual) eggs in one basket and that scares me. I can't justify putting my body through a fresh round with a less than five per cent chance. It's sad but I'd rather be pregnant with h's baby than not pregnant with our baby I think. Though if the wait is mega long I might do iui to up the chances while I'm waiting rather than doing nothing. I always have shitty sleep a few days before my period so I'm crabby from that too. And I'm having work on the house and I can't stand mess. I was joyous to be around this morning

Cross post cos. End of jan in theory. What will actually happen is that at the end of jan I will phone, a letter will have been 'lost' etc etc. Inner wail.