TTC 10+++ months part 18

[Mrsden]

This is the BFP thread.

Happy New Year everyone. New Year is a tough one for me, I hated 2013 though so glad to see the back of it. Did anyone else feel like vomiting when reading people's fb statuses? One of my relatives really upset me with some stupid one about 2013 being the year of babies and how many new additions to the family there had been and how they were hoping for many more in 2014. Cue, responses of distant relatives saying they were due next year. It seems my wider family is very fertile.

euro I don't think I ever congratulated you. This is such wonderful news, I understand the men killing. Sending you every good wish for the scan.

sea you're doing really well. I stimmed for days and days, I can't remember but think it was 15 days in the end.

joy grrr at stupid questions. Did the person know about your situation? That's very sad about your sil. Isn't it quite unusual to miscarry after 12 weeks? I hope they find out why.

fox it is a grieving process so don't be hard on yourself. DE is a big decision and it takes time to feel ready I'm sure. I have had issues with body confidence since my teens and had finally got to a stage where I was ok with it, then all this ttc/ivf has brought it all back. I feel very annoyed with my body, and have lost all confidence. It's also brought my anxiety back and I find social situations very difficult at the moment.

sar such a beautiful baby :) In fact I think 10 plussers have exceptionally gorgeous babies, and very good taste in names too.

My Christmas was wonderfully relaxing, just what I needed. I hadn't realised how run down and tired I was. I didn't really think of ttc too much, of course AF had to turn up on xmas eve. New Year I didn't enjoy, all my friends talk about is how amazing their lives are now with children, how next year will be so exciting. People are starting to announce second babies now and this is particularly painful.

sea that is an incredible marathon. Twice daily blood tests? I'm not surprised you have had enough. I had 2 or 3 in total whilst stimming and that was plenty for me! It sounds like EC isn't too far away now, so you are on the home stretch.

mrsd that NY sounds tough. Most of my friends have completed their families now. I do feel very left behind.

I agree with euro that twice daily blood tests sounds like a punishing regime. I had only two throughout my whole cycle. Twice a day sounds slightly ott.

Poor sea, twice daily blood tests sounds excessive. I bruise really easily so got a polkadot belly quite soon, but thankfully they only took bloods twice to time EC. Not long to go now and I just hope there is a perfect crop growing in there.

Oh mrsd I think you need some more gay friends with wild lives, I really enjoyed their fb updates over NYE. But there were a fair number of sickening ones too. I am sorry about NYE itself. I've found it always quite a tough night, it really asks for looking back and it was always very scary to look forward. Even now, though I am incredibly grateful and happy, I still find looking forward petrifying.

On difficult periods, fox I am so sorry for the difficult time you're going through. I think you're doing amazingly well, but this is so tough. I hate that it's stirred up old issues as well as new ones. I am sure you'll pull through it, but am very sad you're feeling low and miserable.

Joy I am so sorry about intrusive questions! I was horrified by your SIL's mc as well, because leaving the first trimester behind seems such a big step. Have a big hug, take care of you and roy first and foremost. And I am willing a funded cycle to come your way soon.

I am generally wishing for good things to all my lovely 10+ers. I've missed poutster for a while and I hope all is okay with her! I am wishing better years nearly all round and am here to hold-hands whenever.

Fox – i’m so sorry about the bad place you are in at the moment. As Euro says there is so much to come to terms with and the emotional impact of course is immense. I’m so sorry to hear about the dire counselling – that should never have been the case. When you seek out help from a professional, you would hope they do help you. I often feel a bit unhelpful on here as all I can do is offer some kind words and I just wish I could do more. There is just no doubt about it , infertility is emotionally damaging and it’s very odd how it seeps in to all areas of our lives and stirs up old pasts. I think looking after yourself and your emotional wellbeing is key over the next few months and then hopefully things will become clearer and easier to deal with.

Euro – i hope you are ok. Is your 7wk scan tomorrow?

Sea – the argy do make it exhausting and it doesn’t take long to look like a druggy. You are now very close to EC and you are doing so well.

Mrsd – sorry that you have had to deal with smug , narcissistic fb updates. My fragile emotions wouldn’t be able to cope with all that.

Well i see that i posted a comment on NYE and I can’t even remember posting it. I haven’t been that drunk for years and I thought I may as well let my hair down with one of my very few married friends who doesn’t have a baby. Completely understand the crap feelings about putting on weight. I’ve been very big and I’ve been slim in my life and I’ve always had an odd relationship with food. I’ve struggled to get the weight off since the last round of ivf and right now I’m incredibly unfit and feel very flabby and this is probably contributing to my miserable state. I found it very hard to be cheerful over Christmas and I was consumed by anxiety and worry about the future. This dark cloud hanging over me has been very hard to shift. I kept saying to Roy I was finding it hard to look forward to anything – gees what a misery. I know I’ll come out of it again as I always do but bloody hell it’s just so tiring and tedious. I’m so bored of trying to ride these waves of emotions. They just can’t seem to be controlled and creep up out of nowhere. Bleugh. Hope others feel more chirpy!

Scan is tomorrow, joy, but I'll only be 6+1. I have The Fear and I'm pretty sure it's not going to be good news. I have no symptoms. Even my boobs have gone back to normal. And the bout of nausea that went away after one day a few days ago does not seem promising. It's pretty much a rerun of what happened last time. I'm mentally prepared for it to be bad news, but I can't face more of this shit. I hear you on the whole thing being tiring and tedious.

Oh Euro I so hope you are wrong. What a miserable experience having to wait for the scan and also all the awful memories of last year. I just am hoping it all to be fine instead.

Euro - Big handhold to you for tomorrow. I hope you are wrong wrong wrong and this is just one of these things where symptoms comes and go. You have been so good with the waiting for scan. I really really hope everything is fine. Please update us! Will be checking back for your news. Go sticky sticky little eurobean!

MrsD - I'm glad you had a good Xmas where you didn't think too much about TTC. It is tough getting news of 2nd babies. I have friends at different stages so there are a few who have completed their families already but some just starting out and some still single. I do think having the latter makes it easier sometimes.

Lemons - I have a rather artistic collection of bruises on my body, arms and legs (blood thinner's work). I am sorry that it is still scary looking into the future. Agree Xmas and NY is a tough time.

Joy - I am sorry you are having a hard time too. It must be difficult thinking back to this time last year. You have been so strong and your words on here are always sympathetic and really helpful!

Cos - How are you?

Pout - Did you have a good Xmas? I remember you were doing lots of preparation. I hope it all went well.

Fox - I hope you are feeling a bit brighter today. Still thinking of you.

Free - I hope the wait for the next scan is not too men killing for you although I am sure it seems an age.

AFM, I trigger tonight and EC will be Sat AM. It seems I am at quite serious risk of OHSS, they spent 45 mins telling me I must drink 4 litres of water. I'm struggling a bit and threw up today and am now v v bloated. Still drinking as much as I can. Finally met the big man today who cracked a lot of jokes (some more funny than others) and it looks like I might have around 18 follies (hence the OHSS risk I think). Off to set alarms for 3am and 5am wake up water breaks. Feeling a bit nervous but just trying to take it one day at a time.

Just had lovely visit with dear preggo friend who is due tomorrow. She was enormous and it was lovely see her so happy. I surprised myself I actually felt completely fine about spending time with a number of advanced preggo in the last couple of weeks.

Am still in a bit of an Xmas induced emotional fog but will attempt a brief catch up:

Sar that is great news, well done for getting through it.

It is actually fairly remarkable to have had so many thread successes in 2013 given all our histories.

Euro good luck for tomorrow - it is very early isn't it, hope it doesn't end up being a headf*k just because of that.

Massive hand holds for Fox and Joy and MrsD, big squeezes and lets hope our moods lift soon.

Sea keep going, you're doing well.

Waves all round to everyone else.

Just popping in quickly to wish euro lots and lots of good luck for tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you and so hope everything turns out well - you more than deserve this. The scan wait must have been agonising.

sea great news about the no. of follies but sorry about the ohss risk. Try to eat lots of protein too. I have a GOOD feeling about this cycle and you certainly should get a good no of embies. If ohss appears, they can always freeze the embies and put them back in once the risk has gone. You have done amazingly well so far and should feel v proud of surviving the Argys full on regime.

Sorry to hear fox, mrsd, joy and cos have been having a hard time recently. It's a tough, reflective time of year. fox you must give yourself time to grieve before moving onto DE. I know when we were seriously looking at DS I was just desperate for a baby, but there was a massive undercurrent of sadness about wanting DHs child, which surprised me. Finding a good counsellor is v important. My clinic's was great and I'd recommend her to anyone in London.

Waves and luffs to everyone else. Come on fertility gods, bring us some more 10+ ers baybees in 2014!

sea that's awesome that you have so many follies, but physically it sounds uncomfortable. It's great that EC is over a weekend so you can rest afterwards. I felt worst about 24 hours after EC - if there's any way you can rest on the sofa, with a lot of water, tomato juice and gatorade (or lucozade) to replace electrolytes and salt as well as liquid. I also ate salty crisps.

euro I am really hoping for good news for you tomorrow. Remember, your HCG numbers were much higher than they were last time. And in early pregnancy, symptoms come and go - I didn't have any nausea until I was about 6 and a half weeks and some people don't have any at all. Hang in there - I know it must be really hard.

fox honey I am so terribly sorry you're feeling so low. I do think it's a huge thing to get your head around. Take all the time you need in making this decision, there is no rush. It's an awful, confidence-sapping marathon that you've been going through, and you're doing brilliantly.

This really is a rough time of year with all the inward thoughts that happen. I am so hoping for a better 2014 for everyone.

Just a quick post holiday check in from me. I'm sorry the festivities have been the usual introspective emotional soul searching time. I've always hated New Year for the aspect of measuring yourself up against some ridiculous benchmark of happiness or achievement. Spending it on the plane was ideal as we didn't really hit midnight at all vomming in the airport lounge loo not quite so charming

Euro I hope you get some reassurance from the scan, but won't say more in case I've cross posted.

Fox I'm sorry the counselling was awful. It is a heck of a lot to deal with, I know!

Gin and Sar congrats to you both. Your girls are both lovely. Hope you are getting a bit of sleep!

That's all for now, better get back to work.

popping in quickly to say welcome back nelly and to say that I'm thinking of you today euro.

Euro. How did it go?

Thinking of you Euro.

thinking of you euro

Thanks for all the thoughts ladies. It's lovely to know that so many of you are rooting for me.

It was ok. Saw a teeny tiny heartbeat. I am stunned. I have lost all my symptoms in the last few days. They're scanning me again in 10 days.

That's excellent news Euro. So so happy for you! Don't think too much about symptoms - those really is different for everyone!
Well done Eurobean!

Fantastic euro. How amazing was that to see a heartbeat?

euro

That's wonderful Euro and a very good sign that there is a HB this early on. I am sure you can't relax but hopefully this has given you a bit more confidence.

Just: YAY!!!

Wow, that's great news, and very early for a heartbeat, surely a good sign. Lots of luck.

Thank you, thank you. I hope you are all doing ok. Hopefully 2014 will be the year that we empty this thread!

Great news Euro!

A selfish post coming up... Can anyone tell me about ET? From books I see that Day 3 or Day 5 transfers seem to be the most popular. This may be a silly question but it is Day1 the day they collect the eggs or the day after?
Trying to figure out time off next week. I have flexibility to a certain extent but it does require some planning in advance (clients to manage). Any help or insight would be much appreciated!