If TTC # 2 has turned you into a nut job this thread is for you! (Part 4)

[sebsmummy1]

Hey!! We have had lots of graduates from Part 3, so let's get on the TTC bus part 4 and make this place a ghost town.

Destination Pregnancy, choooo choooooo

that all sounds rubbish, sorry to hear that Sebs.It's difficult to see what harm at least doing some blood tests would do, surely they would tell you if OV was happening etc?

BFN here today and then AF turned up just to confirm things. Really fed up of all this now, it feels like it isn't going to happen.

Oh darling I'm so sorry the bitch has turned up . I try and have a good look at the info I gleaned from the cycle and use it to make me feel more positive about the next one. Has this cycle changed from the last at all? Ovulation day different? LP longer?

You have lots of time so I can assure you it WILL happen. You have had really positive test results, you know there is nothing wrong with you thAt a bit more time won't correct. So don't feel down xxxx

He said if I was getting regular periods now I was ovulating

How old are you sebs? I thought if over 35 it was only 6 months before they referred you? Although I think that differs of you already have a child. Did you specifically ask for tests? All sounds a bit rubbish, but in a weird way it's good the doc thinks you are fine.

zippy sorry bout period arriving. Rubbish.

Fed up is fed up. First day back at work today and sucked. And think my period is late but not pregnant so it's going to be a whole load of messed up cycle crap again after this mc :( and all my NCT want to meet up with babies as well as toddlers and I can't face being the only one without a second child :(

Sorry for the gloom, just feeling shitty at the mo xx

Thanks sebs. Nobody knows in rl, so the support on here is lovely.I'm glad you're back

My GP said that about the ovulating too then changed her mind when she saw the blood tests and said my progesterone was 3 and it would be 30 if I was ovulating. The consultant then said I was OVing but very late.

Thinking about it, the GP is wrong too with you because if they did find a problem - eg you weren't ovulating (not that there is any reason to think that but just if that was it) - then there is stuff like Clomid that can fix that. Or if a scan showed something that needed fixing, that too could be done.

Poor fedup, I know exactlym exactly what you mean. I am having a really busy awful time at work too. I work a lot in the evening and at night so I can be with the baby a lot in the day but it is very tiring especially as the baby wakes up three times a night. My nct lot are great but are either with bump or baby except one who is trying soon, so it is really, really hard. I don't want to lose touch with them because we have bonded surprisingly well as a group but it is really difficult. I'm seeing them in my lunch time this week. I think you sound amazingly strong fedup.

Hey all,

Welcome back Sebs - shocked your GP was so unhelpful, but it really does seem to be a lottery as to whether GPs are good (helpful/caring) or not.. I agree with Zippy though, in that Clomid is the next step (so I've heard from various sources) before IVF.. Is there another GP you could see for a 2nd opinion?

Zippy -Sorry to hear about AF :-(

I have spent the whole day on knicker-watch after some pink cm yesterday.. had a bit more today but not AF yet.. Part of me thinks 'woohoo could be implantation', whereas the logical part of me remembers the same thing happening last month and it was AF.. and I am just being tortured with hope that bit longer this month! Only positive is that today is 10dpo, so at least if AF doesnt come until tomorrow then my LP is 1 day longer this cycle.. (though the cycle itself is 30 days today, compare to 22 last cycle! Slightly messed up!

Fed up - sorry you are fed up :-( I'm so lucky that no one in my NCT group has had no 2 yet, or is even pregnant. Only me and 1 other are ttc at the moment. My best mate is 8 months though, and wants to talk baby gro's and vests this weekend (it will be her PFB).. I really want to be happy for her.. and was when she first became pregnant.. but that was when I thought I would only be a few months behind her!!

I've actually just turned Holby City off (on TV) as one of the characters was in the middle of giving birth.. and I just kept thinking 'b*tch'.

On that high note I'm off to phone DH.. last night away from home this week.. I get to go home to my boys tomorrow night :-)

xxx

I'm 39 in February, so knocking on 40. He wasn't fussed about my age either for some reason. Actually I too think he could be wrong re. the tests being pointless. But you know he was very fixed in what he was saying and it would have been a hiding to nothing to try and force him to do anything. I said I thoughts the tests would at least put my mind at rest that I was ovulating, he said if I had regular periods I was. Well what can you say!!

I'm going to try and ignore this months fertility monitor throwing up a thousand highs and focus on the fact that whilst I was using the CB digis they always gave me static smileys. I have just started doing my basal temp chart again as I'm sleeping properly now so it will be accurate.

I'm hoping that next month I might get a peak on the monitor and FF might agree with temps. Who knows lol, pigs might also fly and unicorns start shifting rainbows.

Shitting

Punky I wonder whether a 3o day cycle is actually a good thing. When I got a 21/22 day cycle months and months ago after I came off BCP I think it was anovulatory. On that short cycle did you find you bled really heavily?

Punky I can relate about the pink CM. Now this is going to be TMI but on lots of sites they talk about checking CM with yr fingers or checking cervical position. I didn't really want to start sticking my fingers in their regularly, so instead I use a clean cotton bud.

Well last month there wAs dark brown CM on the cotton bud on dpo8 and I got really excited thinking it was implantation. It wasn't sadly. I can also tell a few days before AF is due that it's coming because the cotton blood will start staining pink then dark red.

I know it's grim but in a way it's easier than waiting for her to turn up properly and I know I'm out the game quicker.

Lol, I definitely think a cotton bud sounds less grim to me than sticking a finger up there.. It's weird.. very little gets me squeamish but for some reason the whole 'checking CM' thing does.

I didn't bleed any heavier than normal on the short cycle.. in fact I think it was lighter than usual. Will just have to see what the next cycle decides to do!

I forgot to mention that my DH's reaction when I messaged him to say AF had started (it turned out it hadn't and was just more pinky streaks) was 'thanks for sharing'. I don't know.. for some reason I thought he might be interested to know.. you know, like he cared if we got pregnant or not.. and cared I would be upset :-( I guess it is hard to read these reactions when not face to face.. but just made me feel even more shit. Like I am just forcing ttc onto him, which is how it feels when I am in the fertile phase... We normally talk about everything, but I'm too scared to talk about this as I worry he will say he doesn't want to ttc anymore.. so just carry on walking on eggshells.

Oh bless you Punky, this is such a difficult situation and I'm sure your husband wants a baby as much as you. He just probably wants to get back to the fun sex that wasn't caught up with timings and emotional upset. He also probably doesn't know what to say when you are upset so ends up saying something thoughtless

Ooooh maybe the witch will stay away. How many dpo do you think you are?

I am a terrible over sharer with DP. He gets to hear all about my cervical mucous, whether I'm spotting or bleeding. I've also used soft cups this cycle which look like diaphragms d I've had him trotting out to the landing to grab one post coitally and then I've popped it in lol.

I honestly think since he witnessed me having my rather horrendous labour, nothing fazes him anymore.

Hi all,
Being a newbie to the thread, I'm just chuckling about the last few posts! Cotton buds and soft cups! Been there and done both of those. Tried the moon cup hoping it would keep the swimmers in the right place, but managed to come back from holiday without it! God knows where I managed to leave it and god knows who eventually found it!
Oddly enough, I've had pink cm today. I'm pretty hot on cm and monitor it very closely and have never had it before. It was literally two wipes and none since. I'm 9dpo I think. Of course I've spent all day believing it is implantation bleeding but most likely it's just another sign that my hormones are just totally shot

hello ladies, I piped up to say hello a few days back and haven't said anything since! I am very impressed and also a bit daunted by all the recent posts, you ladies sure know your stuff and I will definately be bending some ears for advice if that is ok!!
I am just into cycle 7 of ttc no 2. I promised myself I would relax about the whole thing this month, but only 2 days after AF has finished and I am driving myself crazy with baby thoughts. I have fully convinced myself that I will never again be pregnant, and I am just fed up and depressed with the whole thing. I am going to start using opks tomorrow, and aim to dtd every other day. I will try my best to eat healthily and not stress out about it all this month. Other than that I don't know what more I can do. It is just so rubbish that we have to go through all this anguish and heartache to have another baby, and it almost feels more cruel when we have one naturally conceived child running around showing us that we can get pregnant and have children!
Interesting to hear your results from the doctor sebs, I have been thinking of making an app for myself, did he tell you to go back at any point in the future if still no bfp or will you make another app to have your blood tests done?
Sorry about DHs reaction Punky, I know what you mean about judging their reactions and forcing ttc onto him, it is hard to know what they really think about it all, and I suppose they feel they have to be the strong ones for us.
Very early good luck to you maybe Jakey?
Anyway, sorry for the late night ramblings, I just wanted to check in and say hello and so much good luck to us all.

I did say to him should I come back at some point and see you? He said if I wasn't pregnantatr summer I could make an appointment, but I honestly get the feeling that unless i want to go down the IVF route, he really feels he has nothing to offer me.

Late summer that should have read!

I'm really squeamish and the thought of checking cervical position really grosses me out! I could cope with cotton buds to check cm tho!

Good luck jakey sounds like it could be implantation.

punky it's so tough isn't it. I too have starter to tell my husband about cm too. Fortunately he's so keen for another child (ds is 2.3 now and we wanted no 2 since he was 1) he puts up with it. I do think you should talk to your husband about it or it will just get worse. Sounds ridiculous perhaps but would diarising sex days work? Then at least he know what's expected at the beginning of the month of he wants another child? I usually have a chat with My husband about what's out plan this month. That way it's a shared plan that you both stick too rather than you feeling you are forcing him at certain times?

Still in my dark place. Day 2 of work. Ugh. Feeling crampy so maybe af on way at last. Want it out the way now :(

Oh fed up chick I'm sorry work is bringing no solace. I often think if I was working FT I wouldn't be thinking about the baby stuff. But actually over Christmas when I was out and about I was still taking those thoughts eith me, so obviously not!!!

Has anyone taken the supplement I see discussed a lot, Vitex? I asked the doc yesterday if he could suggest anything else I could do aside from shagging . He said don't drink, don't smoke, I don't do either, so he was like lovely job, goodbye lol. I am do close to ordering some as I hear people raving about it, but then I hear other people saying it can make you ovulate earlier and I don't think I need to be ovulating any earlier!!

Oh god I tell you what else I did when I was desperate over Christmas [hangs head]. I ordered a pregnancy prediction reading from one of those online psychics that are about and regularly discussed on various TTC boards. I'm not going to say what she said incase I jinx it, but she could see a pregnancy this year!!! Oh let it be true lol

Thanks girls :-) I'm not sure if I have the guts at the moment to have a discussion with DH about the ttc, but it really feels good just to get these things off my chest as I have no one else I can talk to about it. He is a bit old-fashioned so I don't talk about CM to him.. You are right Sebs in that it is the whole sex on demand he can't stand. He has never been one to be told what to do and has told me many times how much he hates it. We have agreed that as long as he has prior notice he is a bit less annoyed with the whole thing, but it is difficult at the mo when my cycles are soooo messed up.. and unfortunately there is no way we can go for the 'every other day' approach as we are both knackered and fed up within a week, and this month I was over a week late Ov'ing.. so by the time I was fertile he was totally off the whole thing! Like I said before.. I managed to get one more in one day before Ov.. but the whole couple of weeks were awful for me. Next cycle I am definitely holding off until I see EWCM.. and forget what my app predicts!

I'm 11dpo today (last month AF came on 10dpo so at least LP is 1 day longer). More pink CM today.. though feeling slightly crampy so am hopeful one minute and depressed the next.. I sooo think the witch is coming today.

I actually was ready to go and buy some Vitex yesterday Sebs! I was reading about extending Luteal Phase again and on top of B6 some women swore by Red Raspberry Tea and Vitex (apparently you can buy them together in one product). At the moment though LP seems to be extending again naturally, so might wait one more cycle to see what it does. I really don't want to be pill popping as I may just get more obsessive about this than I already am!

Hope you are having a better day today Fed Up.xxx

Oh sorry, forgot to say hi to Jakey and Lucy

ha ha yep! Watching my DPs face contort when I tell him we need to BD is not particularly sexy lol. We had sex five days on the trot on the fertile window then day off either side and then once more. To be honest the last time I really wasn't in the mood either but if course have to be all alluring and sensual when all I want to be doing is wearing my flannelette pajamas and drinking cocoa.

God at some point the sperm better bloody meet the egg.

Just checking in ladies. Wow you are all so knowledgeable, I would have no idea how to check position of cervix and even if I did what would I be looking for?

Sorry sebs your GP was so dismissive, I'd be tempted to see someone else in a few months time if I were you? He is right to say 6 months isn't that long but I'd want to know he was at least interested in seeing you again in a few months. V impressed with 5 days on the trot DTD! Really hope it is your month for good news.

punky I totally know what you mean about trying to get DH on board (ahem). Ended up having a mighty row with DH the other eve as he hates the whole on demand thing. I didn't handle it well to be fair and just went into full shouty mode which was pointless as DH never responds well to that! When I finally calmed down I managed to explain to him a bit more about just how tricky this conception thing is, that dtd every so often just wont work and that there really is a v limited window etc then it seemed to sink in a bit - we were so lucky first time around I think he is under a big false idea it will be easy again too. Anyway I think he got the message as arrived home last night, made me down tools mid bolognese cooking and said right come on then!! But we will see, it really is hard to sustain every other day when you have busy lives.

fedup so sorry work is rubbish, what do you do, if that isn't too nosey (and I haven't missed earlier in thread)? I'm a SAHM at the moment, but almost double edged sword as I have too much time to think about this baby making lark and am always surrounded by children, not helping me to be calm and avoid being a nut job!

Welcome jakey and wishing you lots of luck and hello to lucy, this thread is full of knowledgeable people isn't it, plus me who's a bit clueless and going more nutty each month

I'm in the same boat with the shagging. We do everyday around the ewcm and then a few after for good measure. Luckily though dh is good with this and just does as he is told. He's also never been one to take his time so I'm not subjected to hours of it or anything. He can usually perform within 10 mins so at least it's over with and I can fit it in around having a toddler !
I've been to the gp about this and also got no help. He said I needed to make an appt with a lady dr who knew about breastfeeding and periods as he didn't. I kid you not. He also said he wouldn't do bloods until I stopped bf. Also unhelpful.
Having said that though, what could they offer??? Other than ivf which we can't afford. I guess there is clomid but I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating as temping.
It all feels a bit hopeless at the moment tbh. Going to night wean over the weekend and see if that helps. Not looking forward to that one bit.
I've looked at vitex but shied away due to the concerns about ovulation, I've been on 100mg b6 for an eternity and that Def lengthened LP so would reccomend if you've not tried. I'm also considering acupuncture and going to try to eat a better diet. Running out of ideas though now!

Bloody hell jakey your GP sounds like a useless b£stard! Definitely do try to see someone else if you can, if he's that disinterested in you then I'd be worried about seeing him for anything tbh.

Really good luck with the night weaning, it may not be as bad as you think, and even if the first night is tough hang in there as it can only get better.

Hmm shagging in 10 mins, sounds ideal, my bolognese might not have been burnt then. Perhaps I shouldn't tell dh to hurry up tho in case it puts him off forever

Decided if we have no luck this month then it will be opks next month. On another thread I asked if Internet cheapies or big brand ones are best? Quite a mixed response, would love to hear any other experiences/recommendations?

Also - whilst on the topic of shagging. We took ages to conceive ds, ended up seeing fertility nurse. At the time dh was working crazy hours and we were only Dtd once or twice a month, around mid cycle. She pretty much told me to go away as I wasn't trying hard enough, she told me to forget timing it and just to Dtd 3x weekly every week of the next cycle and come back in six months if it did not work. I fell pregnant that cycle!
We've been trying to stick to this but it's been very difficult with dh work but maybe this approach would be easier on your dh's that are struggling with Dtd on demand. Just tell them they need to Dtd 3 x a week and leave it up to them when that is???
Just a thought