If TTC # 2 has turned you into a nut job this thread is for you! (Part 4)

[sebsmummy1]

Hey!! We have had lots of graduates from Part 3, so let's get on the TTC bus part 4 and make this place a ghost town.

Destination Pregnancy, choooo choooooo

[fedupofrainydays]

Hey ladies. Sorry sebs, stupid witch. I don't blame you either for sacking off Christmas. Hopefully you like cheese and / or pâté so can eat lots of them instead of the booze mission that I'm on! Although my two day hangover makes me feel I don't want to be a drinker any more!! ;) although still laughing about Fridays events.

I'm so with you all on DTD fatigue and having to dtd with a husband that isn't always up for it. It's so not true that men always want sex. We struggle with nights too. But as the months ticked by, DH took it more seriously. We went for every other day tho during fertile period. Every day was far too tiring when at work / have a toddler.

I would just carry on as norm cake and test if af doesn't show. Bit if you want to know then test on Christmas Eve!

Welcome lucy. I'm a proper veteran on this thread! I can get very nutty, hence why I've tried to calm down on the obsessiveness of temping and opks etc. got pregnant last month after ttc for 10 months since mc in feb but unfortunately miscarried again. Currently, just trying to enjoy Christmas (if poss) and get back on ttc next year.

[Cakebaker35]

Thanks fedup. And I'm so very sorry about your mc, just shows I should read threads more closely. Wishing you all the very best for better news in 2014 and meanwhile hope you enjoy Christmas getting hammered

[sebsmummy1]

Ok I have cried and cried and howled today and am now sort of calm again.

I need a new plan now because TTC is depressing me and it's not healthy that my efforts are being solely concentrated on an area that is just bringing me misery. Everything I read regarding short cycles tells me I am now in peri menopause country and I an going to have to assume that either it won't happen or it could take a very very long time. My only plus is I seem to ovulate in the middle of my short cycle, so at least it seems a pregnancy could be viable.

Anyhow. I need to start looking for jobs now or start thinking about self employment. I am sick of having nothing to accomplish or stride for in the day. I know raising DS is an accomplishment in itself but I have a feeling I'll only really know if I succeeded there when he is about 25!!

Can I ask what everyone else does for a living?

[fedupofrainydays]

No worries cakebaker. And I hope 2014 is better for all of us!!

sebs you are exactly how I was about 4 months ago. It is definately the right thing to do, ie focus on something other than having another baby. Life before (second) baby should not be miserable. I spent too much of 2013 and my little boys second year of life being miserable and moping. Which in turn made me more miserable as I was upset I wasn't enjoying the life I was having with ds and was preoccupied with ttc #2.
Yeah. I'm a management consultant. Really hard job to have with children as its v stressful, fast paced and involved a lot of travel. So I don't recommend it!!

[fedupofrainydays]

Ps. Am planning to change my career but in early stages of planning at the mo so bit too nervous to reveal all. But I will be self employed!!

[sebsmummy1]

Yep I think you're right. I've woken up this morning feeling a bit brighter. Think I'll leave this thread for a bit and just hide the conception area for a few months, see if I can concentrate on other stuff.

Really really hope you all get your BFPs soon. If anything has taught me a lesson this whole experience has. I really really took my fertility for granted, never gave it a second thought. Now if anyone talks about their struggle to conceive I will truly understand it. Terrible the pain it can cause xxxxx

[fedupofrainydays]

Good plan sebs. Sorry to see you go for a while but we will be here when you fancy saying hello! And PM me any time!
Much love xx

[Cakebaker35]

All the best sebs and hope to see you back here soon x

[zippygeorgebungle]

oh no, see you soon hopefully sebs with news of your bfp. And do remember that in terms of post bfing you are in early days. If it helps, obviously. If it doesn't, please ignore.

if you are worried about peri menopause bloods may help reassure you? they did for me. and if there is any problem it might help them to remedy it.
you've been a good support sebs xx

[zippygeorgebungle]

blood tests, I meant.

[fedupofrainydays]

So I went back to EPU to see the doctor. She couldn't have been more nice really. And empathetic. She got me and my situation and didnt fob me off with stats and medical jargon. Phewf. She's said if I get pregnant again she will scan me at 6 weeks to find it and check if viable. But if I don't get pregnant - she said not to stay stressing for another 10 months but to come back and she will start the testing process. I just feel so much better as more supported than by that stupid GP who said she wouldn't help me for 2 years. What a difference.

I think I'm ovulating too. I've got some ewcm. Bit scared of it all now but also want a baby so got to be done... Eeek.

Met one of my NCT friends today. Patronising moment - "oh it's just so much harder with two". Yeah I know. And I know it will be tough. But I'm sure no tougher than ttc hell. Well at least a different kind of tough.

[Cakebaker35]

Great news fedup that you've found someone who is being helpful, glad things are feeling brighter and fingers crossed for you.

Day 30 here and still no sign of AF (this is a long cycle for me) but got BFN this morning. Sigh.

[fedupofrainydays]

cake it's so frustrating isn't it. I'd have a few drinks and naughty things to eat as even if you are pregnant, nothing passes to baby til over 4 wks anyway. So I would relax over Christmas and try and enjoy!!

Think I'm going to have a funny cycle this one as well... Boobs feel weird and v bloated. Think hormones are going a bit mental post mc.

[fedupofrainydays]

Happy Christmas ladies to you and your families. Lets enjoy it with DC1 and 2014 will be our year for #2. Much love xx

[Cakebaker35]

Just checking back in with you all, hoping you all had a fantastic festive time?

I drank my own body weight in port so it's all a bit of a blur here. Still no AF and still BFN! 34 day cycle for me, never ever had one this long! Stupidly got my hopes up that maybe, just maybe if I did another test today I'd get a BFP, but nope, I'm still being a nut job about it all.

Now where did I put that port....

[fedupofrainydays]

Ha ha, I love port! I've drank every day since Xmas eve and off out tonight for a birthday too!
Think I haven't ovulated this month but suppose after mc that isn't unusual.
Sorry about the weird cycle / bfn scenario. I hate it when af is uncharacteristically late...
Right - just got new laptop. It's all modern and touch screen! Here goes figuring this one out...

[zippygeorgebungle]

.cake, I was late this month too and it made the bfn somehow worse. let's hope it is your turn for bfp, we need some on here!

This has been my first christmas of drinking too in a while, i was bfing last year and pregnant before that.Day 19 here but several days of high fertility (not peak) on the clear blue monitor. Trying to remind myself this is only cycle 2 post bfing. Consultant was clear that my hormones were that of a woman bfing and I have unusually low FSH (supposedly a good sign aged 35?) consistent with bfing but undoubtedly in his view likely to be causing conception trouble - should be fine once settled down. I suppose it is just a case of waiting for my body to readjust, but no idea how long this takes. I still leak a little milk occasionally (I always had tonnes of milk from late pregnancy onwards). I forgot to ask the consultant how long, foolishly. I'm sure it would have come with some warnings about every body being different anyway.

It's great we know so much more than our grandmothers would have done, but I sometimes wonder if all the knowledge makes it tougher for us too, oddly enough. Though actually my gran, in her 90s who has many children, said to me bfing was a great way to space out children so maybe they were using the same timing techniques we are for the opposite purpose.

[Cakebaker35]

Well AF finally made an appearance today - so this is officially my longest ever cycle grrr.

Thanks fedup and zippy, it is definitely worse with all the hanging about and waiting, feel better already now just knowing we can get cracking again soon!! And yes zippy I think all the knowledge is a double edged sword sometimes - but mind you if we were back in the day we'd all have about 7 children each wouldn't we by the time we were 25!

Fingers and toes crossed for lots of BFPs in 2014!

[fedupofrainydays]

Sorry af rocked up cake. So annoying when she's late.

Yeah, I said to the doc at EPU that I just know too much. Wish I was ignorant about ttc and could just relax and it would have happened. But true... Back in the day we would have popped them all out by this age and have a few grandkids of our own!

[PunkyBubba]

Hey girls, sorry I haven't written in a while, been hectic with Christmas, etc, and also pretty confused about my cycle and didnt want to just ramble on here. If you are still lurking Sebs am sorry to see you go, though understand your reasons.. Hope to see you back when you are ready.

So basically the reason I am confused is that for months I have ov'd on cycle day 13, before and after the EP. Last month I ov'd on day 13, but cycle was only 22 days long.. which is unusual for me. This cycle I am on day 22, and still not ov'd. DTD every other day preceding day 13, but think I might have mentioned on here I wasn't getting EWCM.. that didnt come until day 16 or 17.. and finally on Friday I got a pos OPK (day 19), and again on Sunday.. I was out all day yesterday so didnt test, but this morning still no temp rise!!! Also been nauseous, and having pains on both sides for days.. I usually get a bit of ov pain, but it tends to be short-lived, and I don't normally get nausea with it! Anyway, as I previously mentioned DH got fed up of DTD well before Christmas though I convinced him on Friday night after the pos opk.. now I just feel very deflated again and hacked off about it all. I just want this cycle to end, and hope the next one will be more normal! This was meant to be the first cycle ttc again since the EP and it has basically been a total washout as far as I am concerned :-(

I've been making the most of being able to drink this Christmas too.. mulled wine, sloe gin, and quite a few Tia Maria coffees :-) Really hoping next year will be different though.. xxx

[zippygeorgebungle]

oh punky,boo hiss.

day 20 here and lots of high fertility but no peak. I think I had all the OV signs yesterday but no peak. fed up of the whole thing now! x

[fedupofrainydays]

Just a quick one to cheers in the happy new year with you! 2014 has to be a good year for us all. 2013 has been utterly shite and I'm so glad to see the back of it. Actually feel all emotional about it and burst into tears on way back from my trip to shops... Thank god it was raining or all passers by would have thought I'm nuts which we all know I am

Sorry to hear about weird cycles and weird ovulation timings - I believe 2014 is going to sort it all out for us and we will have our dc 2s next year - whoop! Xxxx

[PunkyBubba]

Totally agree FedUp.. 2014 will be the year for us all. Am glad to see the back of 2013 (apart from the getting married bit which was a rare highlight)..

Got a high temp this morning, well .2 higher than it has been.. so am hoping this is it.. will see tomorrow! All this hassle just to ov!

Happy New Year everyone.. Looking forward to a quiet night in as DH is ill so other plans cancelled. Hope you're all doing something nice.xxx

[fedupofrainydays]

Happy new year! We are now in 2014 and it's gonna be a great one!

Yay for a temp rise punky - phewf!

Got pretty drunk last night but I didn't cry which is more than I can say for yesterday afternoon!! Head hurts today so chilling on sofa watching toy story with DS

[2beornot]

Happy new year, ladies. Hope you're doing ok. I hope 2014 is the year you get your longed for babies (or BFPs at the least).

Fedup - I agree with you about 2013 being a pile of shit. I burst into tears during auld lang syne last night. Hopefully the new year can help us put the anguish behind us x