Come and join us on the brand new, rather fabulous, and very slightly notorious (or so we'd like to think!) JUST SHAGGING PART 19!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 18 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1843945-Put-on-your-capes-and-rub-the-Unicorn-belly-aka-my-dear-please-pour-baby-gravy-on-my-egg-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-18" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we become a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Wow you've all been busy posting today! Let me see if I cover everything...

wagga tentative congrats!

min also a member of clot club

I am 28, hubby 30 (and I bring it up a lot)

We have to bribe the dog with a long lasting treat when we DTD to keep him out of the room as if he catches us he genuinely cries!!!! Trust me. All erections die in that situation.

ha romance, what's that? dh's idea of spontaneity is to say "let's have sex". no deep passionate kisses like in the movies to get us in the mood, just an announcement, like "I'm hungry" Lol
needless to say the pressed goes in once he's made his announcement and we are in the bedroom. I figured doing it lying down would be best to keep it up there?

Hilarious pet voyeur stories! Loved the ball tickler in particular. No pets here, but the walls are quite thin. We can hear the old lady next door when she coughs and I once heard the couple on the other side having very loud sex - or maybe it wasn't that loud? I can sometimes hear their conversations ...

I'm a clotter too Minion. I try to ignore it though. Docs didn't seem bothered when I told them.

We definitely don't do it 8-10 times. Maybe this is part of the problem. I have an 11-12 day period and my cycle is 28-30 days long on average. I ov usually around Cd 14-18. So that basically leaves us around 6-8 days to go for it. We go for EOD, but sometimes DH is away or we're both too knackered. I just don't think we could manage every day without said friction burns or general exhaustion!

Ha ha Lil -keeping me amused.

Lynsey- I imagine you out shopping with OH and then you pop into the butchers for a bone and OH comes out grinning

Next door just coughed again . . .

My next door invited me in to look at their house a couple of years ago, no idea why as houses are exact same lay out but I am a nosey cow so went and had a nose. Showed me the second bedroom which is his bedroom as they sleep separate (there seems to be an age where you don't want to sleep with hubby anymore!) and his headboard is right on our bedroom wall. It's so close! He's just the other side of the wall now!

Also had one of the cats walk in during vital moment once and announce his presence with a meow. Worse cos they aren't allowed upstairs!

twinkle - such a journey but great to hear you have got success! Wishing you both all the best for the rest of the pregnancy! There is hope for us all.

Woah - post explosion!!

Congratulations Wagga!! So thrilled that you've started us of with the first 2014 BFP - fx for it being a sticky one! I guess you're wise to be cautious, but I hope you're letting yourself get a little bit excited!!

I'm 31 (32 in Feb) and me & DH have been together 9 years... Always wanted to be married before kids, and was waiting for a proposal from about year 3 Ah well, he finally made an honest women out of me

Minion - yup weird fanjo monsters have happened from time to time, not every AF, but the odd one

I've probably missed loads, will catch up properly tomorrow viroids!

Happy new year! I have a ton to catch up on but wanted to say a quick woo hoo to wagga! I hope that this sticks, and that you feel amazing for nine months, and get your little guy/girl. So exciting.

I finally told my mom over the holiday while visiting about all this IVF business. She admitted she just assumed we were not going to ever have kids and so was surprised to hear we'd been trying. She is totally over-the-top excited . I still want to surprise my father and grandparents if/when we get a BFP, so she is keeping her lips sealed.

Welcome to beetle and any other new gals I've missed!

34...going on 35 this year...we've been married for five years and really did focus on travel, and careers, and fun. The "clock" never really went off. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but there was nothing compelling me to get moving. In my head I am still so young! Then I realized it was time to shit or get off the pot so to speak.

it was time to shit or get off the pot so to speak - Such a pretty way with words

We're all similar ages aren't we.. for me, I just never found the right guy to try for a family with. My last boyfriend just walked out on me after 3.5 years, I was convinced we'd marry and have kids.. so I found myself suddenly single aged 31.. that was scary!

DP and I have been together over 3 years now, but it takes time to decide they're the 'right one' to start a family with. Then we had his VR to deal with - so I find myself TTC for the first time aged 35 through no real fault of my own

RE animal voyers... we have 2 dogs who now both sleep in our bedroom (didn't start off like that, but one of them had health problems and I'm scared to leave him alone). When we DTD, Big Dog gets up and walks off in disgust every time. He then waits for me on the landing for when I make my inevitable post-DTD toilet visit, and he knows the coast is clear. Little Dog is completely deaf, so he just sleeps on oblivious!

I am similar Cosy. I hate it when people talk about "leaving it too late". I would not have chosen to start trying at age 35. It was so important to me to be with the right person before having a child. Now I feel like it is life slapping me in the face that I have finally found the one I want to have children with and we are having a little trouble with it. Right, pity over, new year, new positivity.

In POAS #2 update - still negative…and still no sign of the evil one.

hiya. just found your thread and wanted to join the party please? im 35, oh 38. been together 5 years. decided 2 years ago to start a family but didn't really think about it too much. Over the years I have had megga psycho modes which zapped any fun away, and have gone full circle as I'm now sitting back trying to enjoy the deed rather than only go on certain nights. saying that I still try to raise my butt after lol. Have thought about pre seed and your comments have been really helpful. also is there a book anyone can recommend?

luckily my neighbours live the opposite side of the house and no pets, but used to have a cat who I'd forget about only to be mid way through, glance down to see the weirdest look in his eyes! (the cat, not dh lol) very off putting!

Happy New year to everyone and I have a great feeling there will be a lot of smiling people on this thread x

Hi Saznut. Happy new year!

Hi Saznut welcome.

Brief book review: For total newbies I reckoned "Taking charge of your fertility" by Toni Weschler. This explains how it all works but has less of a strong focus on TTC, in my view.

Just started "Zita Wests Guide to Getting Pregnant" which is pretty good so far, explains all the science again but more of a whole body approach to getting a BFP. So she'll explain how ovulation occurs then also talk about necessary nutrition etc which the first one doesn't.

Hope that's useful.

Sorry abt the BFN Latium disappointing for you but maybe not completely the end?

thanks juniper, I'm a bit of a book worm so I'll give them a go. kindle here i come lol.

Welcome Saznut this thread is a great place for advice and support.

I'm tempted to download 'Zita West' on my kindle for some stealth reading - DP worries about me getting obsessed which I am so I wouldn't let him see it!

Latium how many days late are you, and is your cycle usually spot on? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you too, it aint over till the Evil one sings.

I'm in the throes of 2nd week of TWOT obsessive hell. I need a major Hooya. Havent POAS yet, because this brilliant website told me not to - can't remember if I found that link on here or another thread. But I like it.

My only symptoms are sore throat and majorly sore water balloons. But this happens every month, so really nothing to get excited about.

I've just read the impatient woman's guide to getting pregnant. informative and hilarious but focusses a bit on contraband. I liked that it dispelled a few science myths re chances at different ages etc

think I'm icing but in car for next 4hrs and been at dhs gps all day so no shagging been done. must jump dh when we get in....or in the motorway services car park?!

Am only two days late so shouldn't have been POAS'ing. That is a good website Cosy - I will refer to that in future to prevent premature POAS'ing. I am usually fairly regular - it fluctuates between 26-28 days but never goes over 28. Am fairly sure I have detected the familiar cramping that signals AF and keep going to the toilet in the hope it will just get on with it and put me out of my misery but nothing. Hear ya on the sore water balloons, Cosy - I get that quite a lot but interestingly this month, not.

lil I can just see you trying to explain that one away if you got caught- but officer you just don't understand - it is icing time!!!

Actually I am not in the twot as did a cheeky opk and it's +, so ovulating soon!!

Ooooh this thread is getting popular, hello newbies!

I read that book, too, lil - enjoyed it! And the Toni Weschler one, which I've since passed around my circle of girlfriends as it was very informative about the female body in general. I could have done without some of the graphics in the middle. Although I did get a laugh the day DH opened it right to those center pages - eyeballs nearly fell out!

By the way, will be very impressed if you get it on at the car park!

I am constantly shocked at how insensitive people can be with what they say. When we do get pregnant, if someone dares to comment on how long we "waited," they may get slapped.

We've done it with the cats in the bed. They are usually totally disinterested.

Not planning on getting any books, quite content with torturing self using conflicting advice from google, already eating heaps of greens, not doing tea, coffee, chocolate, cut down on booze, not using nasty chemicals including toothpaste with chemicals and antibacterial soaps, so, drawn a line as I reckon that's enough to be getting on with for now

Don't know much about clomid, so have no strong feelings about it, I was told it would regulate cycle, which is anything from 24 to 34 days. I'm assuming I'll get some hormone crazy side effects, the bit that I'm most apprehensive about is the mid cycle tests, which need to be booked 2 weeks in advance and done shortly after DTD. No pressure there then.

RedShoes - Pahahaha @ the cats in the bed! We probably would is they kept quiet but they tend to stick their noses in, not literally!

I suddenly feel very behind. Mainly due to following:
A I don't have any books.
B I confess that until I asked a friend I didn't realise that you could only get up duffed at certains points in month !!! That was before trying though. And still think that can't be true or how come anyone who has been on Jeremy Kyle has no idea who the babies father is. Unless regular partakers of group sex!
C I had no idea about any of the above app from cutting back on alcohol. Which is also crazy as two of my friends got preggers when hammered !
D trying to persuade DH to bonk with regularity is a flipping nightmare! Minute there is no chance of conception he is raring to go!
E I have no pets ; )
F I think my job is conspiring to keep me unfertilised . As soon as any possibility of ov a work trip is swiftly arranged! I can't take sperm with me , imagine trying to get that liquid though in a clear bag!!!!!!!'

Il buy that gloop tonight I think , make a bit of an effort !

ahh beetle that made me chuckle! esp the spunk in clear bag!

I think the worst thing about timing sex around ov is that when I'm ov sex is uncomfortable bordering on painful and its the last thing I want to do! where's the sense in that!

didn't brave the car park at the first services stop...maybe the next one

ugh can't get the toni welcher book on kindle grrr

Lilady if you get up duffed from bonking in a car park I think we should all give it a try!!!