Come and join us on the brand new, rather fabulous, and very slightly notorious (or so we'd like to think!) JUST SHAGGING PART 19!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 18 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1843945-Put-on-your-capes-and-rub-the-Unicorn-belly-aka-my-dear-please-pour-baby-gravy-on-my-egg-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-18" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we become a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

I'm 38 (ouch)

Doc has given me a prescription for clomid, and some instructions for some tests, sounds like a laugh

I'm 31.
Always planned to have kids at 28 but I let my husband persuade me otherwise, I'm gutted I did now. Should have slyly flushed my pill down the loo or something.
10 days a month? Phew, I've got friction burns just thinking about it.. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong eh.
It's def ERTD. But thankfully she's a completely painless one. Still no cramps as per so that at least I'm thankful for.
Small things.
Actually a bit o' tmi coming up. Went to the loo earlier and passed something which looked like a pink slimy piece of meat. Small, not painful.
I've lost my uterus haven't i? It's just got bored of waiting and simply decided 'fuck this, I'm off'!
Anyone else had it? I'm assuming it's lining, but it bloody freaked me out for a bit.

Hi mrsH! Welcome. Don your cape and get on it, quick spot.

My cape this month has inbuilt sound system, might have to play some of the boob to get things moving in the right direction.

hi misshobart and welcome. good to know I'm not the only one!

beetle a lot of our random abbreviations are on the thread opening post. if u are on PC u should be able to get a list of general mumsnet abbreviations in the talk pages. thinks its a blue link above the thread. 21 day bloods is to test progesterone levels to confirm ovulation. sa is sperm analysis where they check count motility and morphology. think I've got that right.

I think I may avoid the zeta west book!

They have no idea what it's like, or how you feel. Mostly they just don't know what to say, I don't really think that they're judging, probably because I wouldn't be judging if it was me asking stupid questikns

It is awful though, years ago I found out I there was a book running in my office on who was going to get pg next, I had very short odds apparently, wasn't even trying then

ooh cross posts. min my life plan was engaged at 24, check, married at 26, check, first kid at 28, FUCK I'm 29 in April! well that ain't going to happen then. ok so new life plan, first kid at 29, or by 30 latest!

lentil that's horrid about the book!

Thanks lil. I got the ones above ... I quickly read the others but have a shocking memory! I remembered ertd but forgot was af stands for though I assume period.
I shall not buy a book , I shall not buy a book , my husband should surely do something , I def think he needs to feel part of this worry , perhaps s.a may make him realise this sucks ;) x
Minion I had something similar on hols this year but I had a period, normal lenghth, it stopped and them two days later I had (tmi) horrid long clots. Scared me stupid. Stopped and periods normal ever since. Friend though maybe pg and lost it but I don't think that was possible.
Sure it is nothing to worry about.

I donned my cape with a vengeance this morning!

I'm going to avoid the book from now on too! I like the idea of just getting on with it! I started ttc last year with ovulation sticks and a smart phone app! These are not good things! Both times I've actually caught I've been actively pretending I'm not ttc! This is very annoying as how do you stop thinking about it?!

For all the advice out there I also think about all the millions of babies being born in the world to women with no knowledge of the right things to do/not do or without the advances we have here so it should happen eventually without paying out for expensive books/tests/foods.

That said I am thinking about trying acupuncture to make it stick next time!

minion I've got friction burns right now!! Zita comes across very nicely I have to say. I might save up my birthday pennies and have a consultation, if it comes to it. Hope you're treating yourself very nicely the next couple of days. Lots of nice choccy, yeah?

I often get...er...chunks during AF, always have so don't freak out.
Sometimes they are huge and it is gross.

lentil how you feeling about the clomid? When do you start? Best of luck it works. And that is horrible about the book. Ugh. Your workplace!

Welcome beetle and misshobart!

Minion - a horrible thing but you made me LOL with the idea of your uterus saying "fuck it, i'm off". A little dark humour will get us all through!

Beetle - The first time I get a BFP was the first time I'd used BalanceActiv instead of normal lube. I didn't know prior to that that normal lube is bad!?! Non of them say so on the packet. I assumed that was the trick of it but it seems not. I think it'll happen if it's going to and won't if it's not. That's what I think is the worst thing about all this, no control, no sense as to the whys or hows. In every other part of my life I'm a bit of a control freak so this is the hardest thing for me to accept! And I don't accept it! Meh!

oh forgot about the preseed qn. I'm using for first time this month. been using the recommended 3g and no problems. can't really tell its there, doesn't feel sticky or yuck, quite natural.

min I get clotty bits now. seems to have got more the longer its been since coming off the pill. not big enough to be my uterus tho, lmao at that. I do love Ur humour.

misshobart I often wonder the same myself. Some of the people I work with have substance abuse problems, as do their partners and they have loads of kids without constantly necking spinach and staying off the booze/cigs/hard drugs. It does make me wonder.

I mainly got the book to see if there's anything else to try before the big GP appointment...which will be booked next week. Any tips on what you say? She knows my history well so might just spit it out and see what happens.

oh and we go between 8 and 11 times a month up to a day or two after ov. then we give up until the next cycle! I do ov quite late tho

juniper spit it out and see what happens sent well for me Lol

I am so with you all on the ppl who shouldn't have kids and have loads. what's getting me atm is my bro has one testicle and his wife has a long term illness and they've just announced no 2! how is that fair! grrr rant over sorry

I get clots minion, and a fair bit too. Although if its unusual for you and carries on could be worth a chat with GP?

Not disparaging at all beetle, just realise it can sound like these young'uns trying to get knocked up and wanted to make it clear that wasn't the case!

I have a relative with 7 kids. 7! I just want one (for now at least!) lol.

We are on 6 of the 10 recommended this month then. I'm not sure I've even ov'd yet though! Cape on for n.7 tonight though. Even though I feel a bit crappy.

So is the Zita West book worth a try then? Anyone else recommend it?

Tell me more about PreSeed - I think we could benefit from that, particularly if DPs swimmers are having trouble (assuming he has any at all...). At risk of asking for TMI - at what point during DTD do you put it up there? Do you just discreetly go and do it in the bathroom in preparation, or is it something you have to do 'during' the event..?

Still about 10 times a month... managed 6 so far this month, and icing is well and truly past I think, so any further DTD would be truly JSing to make DP feel like he's not just a machine...

Mind you, I don't want to knacker him out before he has to perform in a cup on Monday..

Delighted for wagga - hopefully this is the start of the New Year BFPs.

I'm turned 35 in October, married in July this year and like others, we wanted to wait until we were married to try. It seems kind of silly now and I do wish we had just started trying. Hindsight and all that. We should all just look forward now.

Minion I also had a similar clotty thing a couple of months back. It was quite disturbing at the time but I resolved not to worry about it.

I might need a small hooya - I POAS on New Year's Eve (in my defence because I didn't want to risk drinking and not knowing but also didn't want to sit in a corner feeling sorry for myself not drinking if it was the inevitable -ve). It was -ve. Now AF still hasn't arrived (due yesterday) and in further symptom spotting I had to walk out of the kitchen when DH was making breakfast this morning because of the smell (no drinking yesterday so defo not a hangover food aversion). I know it was -ve but I can't stop thinking I might be. Do you think wanting to be PG is enough to make your AF late as this is the second month this has happened and normally I run like clockwork on a shorter cycle?? Grrrrr - just typing this I have hooya'ed myself!

Pahahahaha @ lil1ady - fucking typical isn't it! 1 testicle! sniggers Sorry for being very immature but that was hilarious!

CosyTea - preseed/balanceactiv are lubes designed to mimic fertile secretions in viscosity/ph/nutrients which in theory gives the swimmers a better environment to get up to and through the cervix. They come in applicators so you can squirt them up high! I don't know about anyone else but I use them (any lube) prior to dtd. I tend to go to the loo and use some before getting into bed! Sometimes I'll use it before OH even knows it's on the cards!

cosy - doesn't DB need to abstain for the test? Don't want you to get a false reading.

latium - POAS tomorrow with FMU if no sign. That's three days difference do could have changed.

More POAS!!

CosyTea - According to Zeta men need to continue ejaculating (via sex or other means ) every few days. If sperm are not ejaculated they start to degrade and die off, so if you're not dtd for a week or more after hopeful conception when you go again the quality won't be there, it takes 2 ejaculations to clear out the old knackered ones apparently! So you're doing the right thing to keep going past OV anyways!

We use PreSeed although we are very unromantic and have the...ahem warm up and then slap a bit on. I may rethink this technique after reading this though. We are not a very romantic couple though! Plus various pets like to sit and watch. sigh

latium yes, POAS stick tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Juniper - we also have a pet problem!

The latest addition when we first got him a few months ago (kitten) interrupted the deed by tickling Oh's balls from behind!! Pahahahaha! We now have to close the door every time! The oldest cat has learnt to only venture in afterwards!

We never told anyone but a few weeks later my best friend and her fiance were house/cat sitting and he did the same to them!

Juniper and MissHobart lol on the pets interrupting the action. Our dog must hear us upstairs sometimes and he barks like he knows we are playing and thinks we are leaving him out of it (which of course we are)!!

juniper my cat watches, I thought I was the only one with a porn loving pet!

latium fx for you!

I'm 30 & DP's 35 in a few weeks, been together 5 years but not married. The 'when are you gonna get married' questions seem to put most of the baby questions on hold at the moment!

Will maybe POAS again tomorrow am then unless there is any sign of the ERTD. Thanks ladies, it helps to chat it out.