Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

[Sal1977]

Our brand spanking new thread full of luck, baby dust, BFPs and a few choice swear words.

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Hugs to you Sundance, I think we had ERPCs on the same day. It's utterly overwhelmingly sad, and it keeps surprising me. I think I've only had two days since it happened that I haven't cried. Today I took my 2yo to playgroup, and it was run by a church group, they have a little prayer at the end. When the vicar's wife said 'bless all the babies in their mummies tummies' I crumpled, right in the middle of 30 odd mothers and millions of kids, and had to be mopped up by my darling friends.

Your dog story made me laugh though. I think mine likes to roll in dead things, by the smell of her sometimes. I do hosepipe and shampoo outside though, she is the size of a small horse!

Sorry for the BFN and AFs arriving, have a drink everybody, while we still can!

Hi can I join? I had my first mc at 9 weeks in August and am on cd 14 of this month.

I'm petrified of getting pregnant again but also desperate to do so at the same time. DH and I have a pretty low sex life (him not wanting it much) so it took 8 months to conceive the baby we lost. I'm praying it doesn't take that long again!

Has anyone else's cycles gone weird since their losses? I used to have a 28 day on the dot, day 1 was my heavy day type cycles. Now they are 27 days long with 2 days really light spotting before I start. Is this normal?

Oh for those considering counselling please please give it a try. It really has helped and also helped me open up more with DH

Welcome normal I can empathise with what you say about being terrified but impatient at the same time. It's hard isn't it? I think what your experiencing with your cycle is probably normal. I used to be 28 days on the dot. Since mmc my cycle has varied between 24 and 27 days with a couple of days of spotting before AF arrives. I'm not worrying about it yet.

Sorry to hear about BFNs and AFs arriving. AF has just finished for me so we're back to behaving like bunnies again.

Anyone else started to think that dtd out of the fertile zone is a waste? All I could think about as we dtd this morn. Bad isn't it. Never thought it would get to that in my relationship! Horrible what ttc does to you.

If you're getting like that you probably need a break from TTC.

DH and I had a very frank discussion about it and he said we stopped having sex for us and he was really feeling pressurised to cum every time and it was ruining it for him.

So we took a break. Talked about it. And then started again.

Yep we are, as a result!
DH doesn't feel the pressure though, just me! So going back to normal this month now and I'm not temping, using opks or nothing and just going to have sex when feel like it. I feel oddly happier about it all too.

To be honest, the only time I feel like sex is when ttc. My libido is basically at zero. Even ttc feels more like something I HAVE to do rather than actually want to do. I'm in the 1% of women who are incapable of orgasm. It's not vaginisimus or anything like that; it doesn't hurt, I just don't get anything from it so it's all just rather boring, sweaty and messy and I'd rather have a cup of tea! But cups of tea don't make babies.

So yes, I get the whole "dtd when not fertile is pointless" thing - all the time.

See I think that DTD when there's no pressure to 'finish' is much more fun!

I got a positive OPK yesterday do booked an hour out of work at lunchtime to nip home for a quick bonk! Unfortunately I was running a bit late so got a grumpy text from DH saying "hurry the fuck up, I've been wanking furiously for the last 20 minutes!!" (Sorry about the details) I nearly wet myself laughing!!! At least it was done and dusted leaving enough time for a cheese and pickle sarnie!!

Sal - that's a brilliant tail - your stories never fail to make me laugh.

Fab news on this thread at the moment - congratulations to all the BFPs! Everything crossed for you all that things go well this time. Welcome also to newbies.

I'm reappeared from my pit of doom and am feeling a little better. I got my recurrent miscarriage test results back by post this morning. I have positive lupus coagulant apparently which I gather from Dr Google is one of those clotting problems treated with aspirin and heparin. On CD2 today so now just keen to know when Gynaecologist will actually see me to tell us the plan (anxious at the notion of TTC without this having happened for obvious reasons). There are still a couple of tests to come back apparently so there might be a wait - v. frustrating.

Everyone in the whole world seems to have babies - one friend on my fb newsfeed just had twins - greedy imo ;-)

Thanks handsfull and big hugs back at ya. Sounds like you have some lovely friends there too which is fab. I have managed (so far) not to cry today so that's something. I feel a lot better after my not so little outburst.

camomile - how long did it take for these test results to come back? How do you feel about them? Tbh, I'm hoping that I have the exact same issue as it seems to be the one problem that has a very high number of success stories once treated.

If it helps at all, I never tell my DH when it's 'peak season' time, he'd rather not know when he has to DTD and pretend I'm just being some sort of horny beast. Often is the case I'd rather just sleep but he genuinely performs better without the pressure, making it overall as enjoyable as it's going to get....and I read somewhere that orgasms can help with getting pg. But that may have been written by a bloke!!

You're absolutely right about female orgasms being good for TTC as the contractions make the cervix dip into the spunk and scoop it on its way! When doing TTC sexy times, DH always does his thing as quick as possible then slaps my arse and goes and makes a cuppa leaving me to 'sort myself out'!! Haha, works for us, everyone's a winner!

sal has it right, you need to orgasm after the bloke to have the scooping effect! Maybe that's what we are doing wrong as I do before!
Sal you crack me up. Although I'm slightly jealous you both work so close to home that the lunch time shag is possible!! Hmmmm cheese and pickle, one of my faves.

Hmm I'd disagree. My pregnancies have all been conceived through sex that only he orgasmed during.

Sundance - it all happened quite quick, referred in August; the tests were 24th Sept (and that was choose and book with the original appointment being early Sept), and results came through 17th Oct. Yes, letter arrived in Oct and only opened today - somehow it had got filed away (read. shoved somewhere) without being opened and I found it today during a tidy. I think its good news - sort off. Can't decide how I feel about it: rationally I know I should have the sense you described of relief that its something identifiable and treatable but that's not quite where I am yet. Feel much the same sense of fed-up-ness that I did before I read it truth be told.

I should probably stop telling DH its time as I do think it puts pressure on him but I always get too excited and announce the presence of EWCM or a smiley from the bathroom ("DARLING DARLING DARLING EWCM EWCM" - its beautiful). I figure he'd know anyway; we've been together 12 years and sex every other day is not the norm (tell me that's normal).

Oh, and seeing as we're sharing: fedup - I tend to.. uh.. 'be the first one there' too so I 'do a Sal' and send him on his way once he's done.

I know. I think showing my DH my ewcm was not a good sign. ''Look, this is the stuff I've been talking about'!!!

Yup you don't have to orgasm to get pregnant, it just helps apparently. I have conceived twice with orgasm before dh so not to worry for those who don't, it just helps of you do! Love everyone's stories of the man running off to make tea / food and leaving you to it!!

Congratulations nerdy and wiggle great news!

As you can see i'm still lurking and checking in on you all and just making sure you're doing ok. Sorry to those who are feeling down, its so rubbish, so hard and you are all great x

Random query, any advice or opinions welcome...

Those of you who have been polite enough to listen to me moaning about lady pains for the last few months, might remember that I suspected I might have endometriosis. I even went to the docs regarding pains in my ovary areas and uterus before I got pg for second time. They wouldn't test for endo until ruling out other things first so they began tests, I was clear of uti, pelvic ID, they even did the 21 day bloods but I never got to go through the results of this because I fell pg again and the doctor just said, "your bloods must be fine then".

My query is, if it is endo, would I likely have got as far as I did into both pg's (12 weeks), as I was under the impression that getting pg in the first place would be the main issue. I can't find any relevant info on Dr Google so thought I would see if we have any endo experts on here that might be able to help.

Any help, experience welcome.

I too understood endo would cause problems getting pregnant more than one carrying one full term.

Hi Sundance, I don't know about endo I'm afraid but I've been having pelvic pain throughout my cycle for a while. I had my 21 day bloods taken last month and they were fine and I was also referred for an ultrasound scan which I had yesterday.

It appears that I've got some fairly large ovarian cysts and my ovaries are swollen and that is what is causing the pain. They couldn't see my follicles because the ovaries were so swollen but they did say that because my bloods were ok it appears that I'm ovulating and it shouldn't affect fertility. They did also say that they were quite common.

Have you had an ultrasound Sundance, it should be able to pick up anything not quite right.

So after af arrived Friday afternoon a week early, I had 24hrs of bleeding, was sick yesterday morning and now nothing. So not sure if that was af or just a bit of a random bleed - has anyone else had anything like this?

Sorry will catch up with other posts later as on stupid phone!

sundance. Sorry your back here. Hugs. I am just catching up after a break. Not sure of link between endo and miscarriage (I think people differ in opinion whether linked). Conception is the big thing with endo so if you do have it and are conceiving then that's good. I am hoping after 2 consecutive miscarriages there is no link.

Hello after a long time - I've been lurking, but have been away and don't find posting by phone easy. Sal you and your DH crack me up! If when this 2ww results in AF I'm going to ensure I...finish...after DH rather than before as we do at the mo. I had wondered about that, I'd heard it helps.

Massive congrats and FX to you wiggle and nerdy, so pleased for you. Hope it all goes well - and wiggle, you give me hope that it is possible post-ectopic.

It's completely understandable to feel so sad Sundance, and Cam I'm glad you've got some answers. I've been looking into taking baby aspirin if I ever do get pg as a precaution. I'm going to ask my doc about it on Tues.