Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

[Sal1977]

Our brand spanking new thread full of luck, baby dust, BFPs and a few choice swear words.

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Oh wing how awful. I'm so so sorry. Very upsetting that your family have made such assumptions too. How insensitive and inconsiderate. I know they're grieving too but still... Maybe tell them gently that how they're being is not in fact ok, rather than accepting it and letting stress build up? Don't know how responsive they'd be to that?

Hope you have good support in rl, from friends and partner if not family. We're right here. . Take care of yourself. Lots of love.

Cross post Fedup. Glad it was manageable, suppose its about looking after yourself and DH now. And ranting when needed!

Here is to 2014 being better for all of us. Xx

I'm so sorry wing I hope you have a chance to properly fall apart and grieve over the next few weeks - I know I was left with all the arrangements when my mum died and bottled it all up for years which was v damaging.

Hello newbies- sorry you find yourself here. It's proper hell but better than going through it alone.

Bfn for me today on 11dpo with a 9/10 day lp so serious knicker watch! I had some cramps and spotting yesterday am but not since.
Feeling sorry for myself as everyone around me is having twins (that's just excessive!) and it is my work party tonight and still can't drink but haven't got the good news to make it worthwhile.

I'm missing my work party tonight so very much looking forward to the 'what was wrong with you?' Question from
Those that don't know...

Also, just been emailing HR and she raised putting me on a less 'intense' project. Me being me, was like noooooo. I guess I don't want to be bored / do something noddy but at the same time should I just go with the easy stuff for a while? I don't know really. I suppose I feel the easy stuff means putting me in the weak and pathetic pile...

Fx for you fairy pants and hope the no drinking is because there is a bfp lurking!

Twins is a bit excessive I must say. However, I have this weird feeling (and DH had seperately) that we would have twins... Unless that's what I just miscarried. Who knows..

Right, time for more chocolate and crap TV.

So sorry wing big hugs to you.

Glad it sounds like things have physically happened for you fedup. Enjoy the chocolate and tv, it really is a crap time.

2013 has been such a crap year for so many people in rl and on here, fingers crossed 2014 is better for us all!

wing so sorry for your loss. So sad. Take care of yourself.
cam I love your new name. I
alyant so exciting. So pleased that your time has come. Xx

I can not wait for 2014. 2013 sucked all round. Not long to wait now.

fedup. Glad that is over you. Hope your doing ok. Xx

Holy crap Wing I can't believe it. I'm so sorry for you and hope that the rest of your family wind their necks in and rally at such a horrific time. We're all thinking of you. Xxxx

Aly you little beaut!

My step sister just whacked a 12 week scan photo on FB - gutted. I've been trying since before her 1st on and off and he's 3!! I think the rest of the family probably already knew but didn't say anything which I'm pissed off about as it would've been nice for a heads up!

I agree that other than getting married 2013 was a shitter. Be glad to see the back of this year!!

Devastating wing, this year has truly thrown everything at you. Hope your family pull their fingers out and help you, and you've got lots of support from OH and rl friends as well as here.

Argh Sal, can really see how some notice would have been nice there, how insensitive. This year has been the worst I can remember. I'm not superstitious, but I do think 2013 can fuck off now, it's made its point. I'm going to be so happy this new year's eve, 2014 can only be an improvement.

Oh Wing, you so didn't need this on top of everything else. 2013 has been a real shit of a year all round, hasn't it?

Sal, sympathies on the FB "surprise". That's got to be one of the crappier, more thoughtless ways to be informed.

My eldest daughter (21) appears to have inherited the family tendancy towards mc; she had a mc this morning - we worked out she must have been at 7 weeks. She hadn't realised she was pregnant until she started bleeding & cramping and poas on a hunch - sure enough got a bfp. Totally unplanned, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting. It's her second mc.

Hello all - just back after a couple of weeks away (moving house).... so much has happened!

sending much love and huge hugs to everyone who's been going through a tough time.....

and quiet cheers to the bfps......

hello hello.
I introduced myself as a newb a few pages back but then disappeared after getting a bit frightened at the whole ttc thing.
Hopeful congrats to Alyant and hugs to everyone else who's been having a rougher time of it, esp wing.

We've not been TTC 'properly' this month (1st cycle since MMC) but have dtd a few times. I'm not convinced now that I am quite ready this month, so I think I'm going to take Xmas to re-group. 2013 has just been a big old pile of shit.

One baby bombshell so far this week (from a good friend who told me in a reply to a message I sent her telling her about the MC. Thanks for the tact! ).

Wow ark, what a morning. Hope your DD is ok-it's way more likely to be a coincidence than anything else, must have been quite a shock for her though.

That is super tactless of your friend parsley. It's a hectic time of year to be diving back into ttc, particularly if you're feeling shaky about it. New year, fresh slate-that's how I'm seeing it too.

Af arrived this morning-we're having Chrismas day with the in-laws today, so enjoying guilt-free fizz and smelly cheese as two fingers to her.

Parsley, that is awful..people just don't seem to appreciate the enormity of a MC?

Sorry to hear about af Seaside and your daughter Arf :(

Well things haven't gone so well for us ttc this month, was thinking based on two previous post MC cycles that my cycle would be approx 33 days this month (35 and then 34 previously), used opk for first time and got peak on day DH was away and had been for three days before (makes cycle 29 days) so the only day we dtd was day after peak on opk :(

Next month if 28/29 days I will be away :( , seems like a cruel joke! X

chosen that is disheartening but you could have caught the egg en route so don't despair until AF shows her ugly face.
As for next month, I guess the only 'bright side' (if you can call it that!) is that if your cycles are still a bit out of whack you might find that peak days fall elsewhere.
My cycles were like clockwork pre-MC, I'm sort of half expecting AF this week and half thinking it'll be weeks (typical pessimism!)

Yeah, my friend meant well I think, wanted to tell me before announcing it but she has an established habit of always turning things around to be all about her. (I.e. Anything you've been through she's had the same thing but much worse etc. etc.). Seems like I can't escape damn baby news at the mo!

Evening all. First, Wing, I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you. May nature bring you a baby soon to brighten your family a bit.

Ark, how sad for your daughter. You will be the best possible support for her, knowing how much it hurts.

Parsley, how could your friend possibly think that is a kind thing to do? I do think that until you have had a m/c you can't appreciate the devastation, but the 'mememeness' of that is unspeakable.

Chosen, that really sucks. The only reason my daughter exists is that my DH refused a posting to Dubai for 3 months straight after our honeymoon. It's the only time he has said no to anything, and I am eternally grateful.

I am considering dropping out of my favourite playgroup, because of the density of bumps and babies. They also do a prayer for all the babies in their mummies' tummies, which is like a kick in the guts every week. The boy loves it, and I love seeing my friends, but I don't think it's that healthy for my mental wellbeing.

In other news, AF has gone and it's ready, set and go go go on Project Baby to Cheer Us Up. All I want for Christmas is to conceive...

Nothing like a baby bombshell. I've had that a few times as well, even had people pretend they aren't pregnant and I talk to them about ttc woes and then a couple of weeks later I get a 'oh I'm 12 weeks pregnant' and I feel such a dick for talking so openly about ttc and the ttc woes to them when they were pregnant all along :(

Spent most of the weekend in bed. Still bleeding and very tired. Think tiredness is from all the emotions rather than physical tiredness. dH asked when we are trying again. As soon as this bleeding leaves the building I think, although I feel dubious about another 10 months plus...

Sorry to hear that ark. But at least you can genuinely empathise with your daughter, which believe me I could have done with rather than have a mum who was positive I was still pregnant or does the 'oh well, you wouldn't have wanted a very unwell child, would you'? People just don't get it do they. I have one friend who had 5 mc and I'm disappointed in how she's been in all this... Keeps banging on about how much her daughters love one another and how sweet they are together. Breaks my heart...

In other news my ex- husband's bit of fluff has just had their baby at the weekend. This is the girl I was friends with until my husband had an affair with her. Although he failed to have the balls to tell me at the time, just told me that he didn't want to be married and definitely didn't want children, so felt it was best for both of us that we part. Dickhead.

Fedup, I am glad you've been able to take it easy this weekend. My tv consumption has gone through the roof since the MC, I am now an involuntary expert on Homes Under The Hammer and Pointless.

Sal, that truly sucks. Huge hugs to you. Are you likely to see them around? I hope not.

Hoping for a baby bomb free Christmas now (unless it's you lot or, god forbid, me!).

Oh my word, it's like 2013 couldn't be shitter, and then December comes along and crams in some horrible knife attack on us all!!

wings, I am so sorry for your loss. With everything else this year you need the support of your family and I hope they come around and help you out. You poor thing, thinking of you.

fedup, sounds like the truly horrible bit is mostly over Hun, plenty of rest required and remember that we are here to listen to any rants or just when you feel like a good cry. Here's to a better 2014.

ark, hope your daughter is ok. I doubt it will make a massive difference that this wasn't planned, a mc is a total shock and can be very frightening but thankfully she has a supportive mum to help get her through it.

My weekend was going ok until we visited my DH's grandparents (85 & 86 years old), it was over lunch his grandad told me that the mc was probably my fault...as their side if the family has lots of kids there surely isn't anything wrong with my DH's sperm, and maybe I was taking it too easy this time.

I mean...at what point do you hope they just stop digging. I know he didn't mean to upset me and would be mortified if he knew I cried myself to sleep, but it just really highlights how shitty this all is and how people don't understand until they've been through it themselves. 2013 can't fuck off quickly enough for my liking. I still don't seem to have ovulated yet so thinking it's just not going to happen this month. My body obviously just needs more time to recover and I'm ok with that.

I haven't dropped by for a while, but can share the sentiment about 2013. Thank god it's nearly over!

Big news for me is that I'm OVing 13 days after last MC started. Am holding off as I got pg last time straight after MC, and then MCed again with threatened ectopic (what fun that was!). So, no TTC for us for a month or two. Very sad not to be, but need to get back to some semblance of normality.

In the meantime, it's shake me and I rattle Tanny, with vit b complex, folic acid, omegas 3, 6, and 9, pomegranate extract can't for the life of me remember why vit c and baby aspirin all washed down with gallons of raspberry leaf tea. Lush.

Hello to everyone, and nice to make a comeback on this thread. I had to disappear for a while whilst threatened ectopic and then MC were happening as the thought of coming back to TTC was a bit of a kick in the gut.

Will try and catch up with a couple of pages, but in the meantime...

Just quickly, to say Fedup I have been going through the same issues, with a possible ectopic that turned out to be a blighted ovum. I ended up spending a weekend in hosp and battling to have my records altered to show it wasn't ectopic.

My care was excellent though, and I have a scan to check how things are on Thursday, and to check it's all clear.

This is my 4th MC, and I am now getting somewhere, but battling through NHS referral routes seems half the battle. I am on the RMC thread, and a lot of the women there are either under the care of St Mary's in London (NHS) or see someone in Coventry, Prof Q (private). I can find out details, or feel free to head over to the thread.

I'm tempted to make a self referral as it seems to be like wading through treacle.

Hi tanny
Sorry for what you've been through :(

Literally just today I've been given details of someone at st marys and also one more local in Epsom. Come the new year I think I will give them a whirl as self referral. My issue is it takes forever after mc to get pregnant again... But if they can do tests whilst we are trying then I guess it speeds things up / might uncover issue with conceiving too. I don't know if at only two I count as recurrent miscarriage but I don't care!

I already have a child so kind of poo pooed anything being wrong but apparently immune changes can happen and lots of testimonials I read were about second children...

I totally agree that it is very difficult for anyone to understand if they have not been through this type of loss.

I also cannot wait for 2013 to be over. My dad passed suddenly at the beginning of the year, followed closely by my great aunt. My aunt was diagnosed with cervical cancer, my friend lost her baby who was a week old and my mc topped it off.

I still have a very faint hope that a bfp will recover it slightly before nye

sundance what an awful thing for the grandfather to say - just awful.

holly that is a shit year.. I hope 2013 redeems itself by a bfp for you before dec 31st