Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

[Sal1977]

Our brand spanking new thread full of luck, baby dust, BFPs and a few choice swear words.

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Sounding positive aly fx

so after waiting almost 3 months for af post mc I am CD10 today and appear to be bleeding again - wtf! not masses but also feeling a bit campy. I will nip out at lunch to grab some liners to monitor how much. Just as I was feeling hopeful about being able to start trying again. I want to crawl into bed and cry

Hollyben - I had that too. Teeny tiny amount and only lasted about 2 days. just made it tricky for estimating ovulation dates.

alyant. Brill news. Fx is a sticky one. Xx

Yayyyy aly fingers crossed and sending you lots of luck xx

Great news aly! Hope this is a precursor for a bumper fertile Friday :-)

Hi ladies. Sorry for the downer, but I will be joining you again. Mc confirmed today by dropping hcg levels.

Broken. How do I pick myself up from this again???

fedup so sorry to hear that. At least you didn't need surgery, not that that makes it any less heartbreaking. Sending you big hugs and lots of love.

So sorry fedup that really is the pits. I have a friend who had multiple mcs (at least 4 I know off) and and eptopic which resulted in both her tubes being removed. She has recently had a DS conceived through her 3rd round of IVF. When asked how she kept going she always said she just did. I don't mean to gloss over what you have been through. Just trying to say there is always hope. And someone here for support x

That's awful fedup, I'm so sorry. I can't offer anything other than the usual (true) cliches-give yourself time, be kind to yourself and it will happen successfully for you in the future. But I know they're all insubstantial just now.

oh no fedup i'm so sorry.
I'm sure the wait won't be so long next time and that the next one will be the lucky one to stick. You're going to make a perfect baby one day, and perfection takes time. All the heartache will be worth it one day in the not to distant future, I'm sure.
You must feel awful, so allow yourself a good cry. you deserve it

I wish I felt like wine :(
Had an erpc for last mc as wasn't happening naturally. Bit scared about the pain the is to come...

Thanks ladies for you thoughts and best wishes.

I feel like total turd as you would imagine
Xx

So so sorry fed up that is truly awful for you :( it's very hard to pick yourself up, I struggle tbh and only time seems pass and then my moods lift slightly. Understand why you are worried about the pain love, not sure why we have to go through these things but then as holly says we have to keep slogging on...

Sea, are you in the 2ww then? I'm just starting with ewcm so hoping end of this wk or wkend will be ov for me....then we can be poas (resisting?!) buddies?! Just need to try to keep the hopes under control or am worried Xmas/ny might be a downer :(

Holly, this is annoying with the bleeding messing you around. I was almost sure I was going to get af when I was expecting ov this month as I have had all af symptoms, bloating, mld cramps, spots and now it's ewcm so just think the hormones are going nuts. Are you still bleeding?

Xx

Evening

I had a MMC at 10 weeks in June and had an ERPC. My periods went AWOL for three months after that, my second cycle lasted 47 days and the third cycle I ovulated CD12 and got my BFP that cycle.

We were so happy. My DP and I are both 44 now so we are ancient in the fertility stakes. Sadly, I have just lost this pregnancy at 8 weeks. I went through it naturally this time and can already feel the difference physically. A scan on Tuesday revealed my miscarriage is complete and my uterus is back to "non- pregnant"shape and I am ready to start cycling again apparently even though I only miscarried on Saturday. Emotionally it is not so easy - I don't think I have cried so much in my life but because of our age we can't really take time out and will need to get back in the TTC saddle ASAP.

The grief about a miscarriage is hard to explain to people who have not been through it but I know you will a) understand how sh*it is generally and b) understand how grim and emotional the business of trying TTC post miscarriage can be. Mind if I hang about with you?

Ps. fedup I am not sure how far along you were but can assure you that at 8 weeks it was manageable for me and I was a big girls blouse scared. Happy to share my experience if it would help? So sorry you are having to go through this.

Oh lizard so sorry to hear that and fedup sorry to hear your news. Really hope you both get bfps again quickly.

No one prepares you for the shit that comes with ttc and it can be so hard to pick yourself up but one day we will all get our babies one way or another xx

Lizard, sorry you are here, but welcome. How utterly grim for you. I have lost various family members so far, but nothing felt like the sheer desperate aching grief of losing a tiny bean. I think it's the loss of the future and all that potential for love. You can't help but love your baby from the moment you see the line. In time it gets easier, but I'm struggling to feel I can recover without another baby.

Fedup, you poor poor sausage. I am so sorry. There's not much that one can say that is not trite not insultingly positive. Biggest virtual hugs.

Aly, a little, timid, tentative, whoop!

And Hollyben, thinking of you and your funny cycle. Things will sort themselves out in time, our bodies have been through so much.

I had a ball watching my 4 year old in her nativity this afternoon. She was a hilarious sheep, but not as funny as the brilliant little boy who discovered the microphone and spent the whole play shouting in it and making the whole audience jump!

greenlizard. So sorry your here. I too have had two mc and it's utterly s*it. We will keeP you company until you go again.

fedup. Sorry to hear your news. Each day we can only hope we get stronger and can face this turmoil. So unfair. Big bugs.

Holly hope everything settles soon xx

Feeling a bit down tonight. I spent the evening as an elf at clic sargents Santas grotto. (like to do a good deed each year). Anyway everyone was bringing in their babies and a put on a brave elf face but each baby made me feel sadder. On the plus I usually ovulate today or tomorrow so better get busy.

Hi lizard sorry to hear what brought you here, but welcome. I know where you are coming from on the getting back in the saddle (I am an not quite so ancient 39 and DH is almost 41) but please give yourself time to grieve and recover. I to had a 3 month wait post ERPC. I am currently CD10 and had a mini breakdown today as I was bleeding. Still a bit but only when I poke around wipe. I am hoping it won't come to anything or is a sign of ov. Just going to keep trying with OPKs and dtd around midcycle.

handsful love stories of nativities/concerts! At DDs nursery they do a carol concert but only for the over 3s. DD is not 3 until March so I am a bit peeved to be missing out

oh greenlizard i'm so sorry
it's such a shit, but you will get there in the end. big hugs.

Fedup, you poor thing, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Hope you're getting lots of support, hugs and tea from OH.

I wanted to get back to normal as soon as I could and for me that meant just crying lots. Get it out, punch something, drink booze, eat pate and soft cheeses!. It will happen...you'll get your bean.

Welcome also to Lizard - the club that no one wants to be in, but we're a great bunch nonetheless. I've also had 2 mc's this year, I don't have any dc's. Have you had any feedback on why you mc'd or have they offred any tests?

I found myself spending far too much time browsing mn yesterday, reading stories dating back as far as 2005 from people who had suffered several mc's and still gone on to have healthy full term pregnancies afterwards. It always helps me when I'm feeling low to read stuff like.

So... Still waiting to bleed properly. I just want this over with :(

Will the doctors still not help me til I have had 3 mc? Did anyone else who had been unfortunate to have two mc get any medical support? I don't know if you remember but last month I went to doctor about fertility help and essentially she told me she wouldn't help me for another year - ie we need to have been trying for two years. Is that right?!

Just had a lunch of cured meats and cheese. Lovely stuff. And cried lots too as you suggest sundance and had the odd 'this is so unfair' toddler tantrum. If I had the energy I would start on a punch bag.

But honestly, Am really sad. And fed up (not with rainy days but ttc). I also feel hopeless.
this has also really affected my faith. Just have no idea why God would put me through this utter crap twice. Why?!

Sorry you are here lizard. It sucks so much doesn't it. Xx

Ps. Was not even 6 weeks so hopefully will just be like a heavy period when it does get going...

Hi lizard, sorry you're here-you've really been through the mill, and it must be extra stressful feeling Luke you're against the clock. Have you had your egg reserves checked to know whether you can relax on that front? A 41yo friend was very comforted recently by doing so.

Hate posting from my phone, sorry to miss people out.

chosen knicker-watch has begun-af due sat I think, but confused by ov dates this month so don't know what to expect. Will poas tomorrow, but think it's too early, poss only 9dpo.

Hugs fedup, I'm sorry you're feeling so desolate. Hope will creep back, but of course you feel shite until then.

fedup, you are basically me 6 weeks ago! Not sure if that's any comfort but I found looking for similar stories helpful. It will get easier in that you learn how to cope, but the unfairness of it all is still very raw.

I was 11+5 with 2nd mc...I'd started spotting so I knew it was coming. Long story short, I was sent home but had to go back in an ambulance several hours later when contractions kicked in. We had a lovely nurse who said that given we were on our 2nd mc and as they had the equipment there to sterilise the mc matter, they sent the stuff off for cryogenic testing straight away. They don't normally do this until 3 mc's but I think they felt sorry for us given we were getting so many weeks in.

My results came back last week-it was turners syndrome so proved it was a chromosomal issue and baby didn't have a chance, but it also suggests this was just really bad luck as turners is not hereditary. Oddly, this has been some comfort to us so if there is any way you could push for this I would, but you would need to mc in hospital. The hospital offered to book us an appt to speak to a geneticist regarding these results which will hopefully mean we can push for blood tests too if we are lucky.

Also, after my 1st mc, I'd started getting horrendous ov pains, in addition to bad af pains , I was in agony for 2 weeks of every month, so I pushed for some tests hoping this might also investigate and discover any fertility probs.

I have a gynae appt in jan for these tests, which I asked my doctor to chase up after 2nd mc. Had I not already complained of pains I'm not sure how long it would take...but you could also try this. I'm hoping for a scan of uterus to see if I have endo, though I know this would be unrelated to 2nd mc.

Finally, we asked doc about blood tests etc to find out why we were struggling, she said they don't run tests until 3mc's but she said we could speak to a specialist privately (an initial consultation costs £200), but, if the consultant thought we should have reason to be tested on the nhs then they could refer you back to GP with a letter who would then be able to start fertility tests.

I hope all this makes sense , and happy to answer any questions on our story, I think the key is to keep pestering the gp if you do want tests - the tests they run after 3mc are basically the same as the ones I'm getting done.

You just adopt this "lost the battle but not the war" mentality and then peel yourself up off the floor and start fighting again! It's hard, but we are all here to support.

Thanks sundance.
I have to go back to EPU on weds so g

Thanks sundance.
I have to go back to EPU on weds so going to ask some more questions. I also wonder what will happen to the random bleeding in my pelvis? I have since wondered if this is endo. They were asking me a lot about painful, weird periods when scanning me.

I also had v painful ov after first mc. (At 11 wks plus 6) but seemed to sort itself out after about 4 or 5 months. Things seemed more normal by the time I conceived. I'm just hoping that because this one was so early it's not going to take an age to right itself again. If it ever had righted itself.
Somehow I know I will have another child. I just don't know when or what further pain (emotionally more than physically) I'm going to have to go through to get there.

I think I'm too early in process to mc in hospital. Ie at less than 6 weeks its not even an embryo. And my mmc was just a huge sac as the baby had died ages before and disappeared.

I will pick myself up, I know I will. You just do, don't you. I just don't feel I can just yet. Maybe in six weeks I will be like you too and ready to go again! Xxx