Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

[Sal1977]

Our brand spanking new thread full of luck, baby dust, BFPs and a few choice swear words.

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Unexplained infertility for 7 months?! Wtf.

I had that for 10 months and doctor wouldn't even see me for fertility help as it was apparently normal. So that person was talking rubbish seaside

Good luck over for tues. I'm calling EPU on Monday as I
Scared I've got the prune juice discharge of ectopic..and my bfp was weak, conception indicator still 1 to 2 weeks on Friday and not feeling that pregnant either.

Thanks so much for your support over and fedup - these low moments just hit sometimes, don't they? We've been trying since Sept last year now - so 15 months. We took some time out after the EP, so I'm now in the 2ww of month 7.

But I know how both of you feel - even in the 2ww I'm feeling twinges on my right side and immediately thinking, 'this is it, it's another ectopic.' I think when I do get my BFP, if I feel how I am now, I'm just going to assume it is and prepare for that. But, and this applies to both of you - that is a psychological reaction, and not what the stats should lead any of us to expect. It's so rare to have one, and especially two.

Even if I/we do end up losing both tubes, the worst case scenario - as my doc said at EP 1 - is that we're an IVF doctor's dream - everything else works fine. It's a 6 month waiting list, taking that "when will it happen again" out of the equation. So it will be vile, but we will get there. In the meantime, I hate waiting!

Please let us know your results over - and fedup, is your EPU not open on the weekends? I went to mine on a Sunday. You're right to call for peace of mind, I'm sorry things aren't progressing simply.

hello ladies,

please could i join you all? ttc #1 had a mmc at 12.4, scanned at epu due to spotting and found baby had died at 9ish weeks :( this was sept, had mm (which was awful but felt i needed to be in control and wanted to be at home).

af took 5wks to return, have had two cycles since which were bfn's..cycle has gone from 28 days exactly to 34 and 33 so we missed ov both times due to working away etc.

struggling with being down tbh, mainly just after ov and wk before af - think hormones take over and my mood hits rock bottom!

hope it's ok to join as i haven't felt able to confide in anyone really in rl except for dh and one friend as i feel like telling people puts the burden on them (how weird?!).

have skimmed the last couple of pages and you sound like a really supportive group, will have a proper read through as it sounds like people have been through some really tough times but are very strong ladies :)

xx

sadly not seaside, my EPU is helpfully mon to friday 9 to 1pm. thats it!! rubbish i know.

like you, i'm sort of preparing myself for the worst. DH is too. think its the only way i can cope with this... sounds silly and i should be all positive but just not feeling too good about this one with the discharge / blood etc. big hugs for you xxx

Hi chosen I am so sorry you find yourself here but you are very welcome. This is a great place for support, sharing, having a rant or a moan and asking questions.

fedup sorry the GP wasn't very helpful. Definitely try the EPU. I have found them to be really supportive. Fx for you. Let us know how you get on.

How are you feeling today handsful? Did you get your tree?

I had a brilliant night out with my best friend last night and am suffering today!!! DH has taken DD out to pick a fairy for the top of our tree whilst I die on the sofa. Need to recover for a hold lot of DTD over the next week

Hi there Chosen. Sorry you find yourself here but welcome to the clan. I've been quite open with people which has its advantages (support) and occasional disadvantages. I don't think people have tended to feel burdened - I hope not anyway.

Hugs to you Seaside, using the term 'unexplained infertility' after 7 months is ludicrous. No need for you to be thinking in those terms.

Glad the tests all came back clear Sal. I'm right there with you with regard to weight gain. 1 1/2 stone since wedding last November. Comfort eating + pregnancy eating = a shed load of food!

Very excited on behalf of MissP. I blimmin loved my wedding. You'll have a fab time.

Sundance - I know you posted about this a while back but wanted to commend you having managed a trip to mamas and papas. You're clearly a very lovely friend.

Sorry about your shitty shitty month Wing. I hope your dad gets better very soon. Check out the stroke association, they're usually very helpful. And sorry about your poor horse too. I'm a horsey person; you must've been devastated.

Hugs to fedup and over. Sending lots of positive vibes.

After my 10 days of flashing smiley, when we had all but given up, I finally got a fixed one last Monday. Sadly by this time I was away with work but have my fingers crossed that some swimmers were still hanging around from earlier in the week. Bad timing though and had basically written this month off until a bit of spotting just now which I'm fantasising is implantation bleeding (at 5dpo, too early?). Hopes well and truely up. If anyone has any stories of spotting at 5dpo please feel free to share ( including ones where it didn't end up in a bfp as need to manage my expectations).

Hi Chosen, of course you're welcome to join. Sorry for your loss. I'm very open about it all, except at work (though my editor knows it happened), but I'm generally very bad at keeping things to myself! People have been nothing but great about it, and I've found it very comforting having people to talk to - and hearing all the stories of other people's similar experiences that come out of the woodwork when you broach the subject.

Ah dang it. Pretty sure its AF arriving now - too heavy and crampy not to be - at 5dpo which is bizarre. Off to strop around the place.

Implantation can be quite heavy and crampy cam, I think it can mimic af. It sounds more likely than af at 5dpo? Hope it is implantation bleeding.

Ffs! Have ovulated 4 days early! Meaning we've only dtd once! We were gearing up to start tomorrow!!!

Bollocks.

Hi chosen, welcome to project desperate! Hopefully it will be a short stay for you but you're in good company.

sal, bugger, balls, feck!! Is there any chance you DTD close enough to ovulation for it to count?

I'm in a similar boat, I think. We went to stay with friends for the weekend and I forgot to take my ov sticks to check. I was due to ovulate yesterday given pre-mc patterns but took a test last night and nothing. So I've either missed it or it is late.

DH has been feeling very low lately, last night he said he wants to take a break from ttc until we've have the genetic testing done in jan. I get where he's coming from but at the same time I'd rather just carry on. Given it's only one cycle away I can wait and it would mean we can relax over Xmas.

It's so stressful. I think we officially the last couple in our circle if friends to have a baby, except for the singletons. I know you shouldn't compare and we don't know what goes on in people's private lives but it just seems ti emphasise our own issues.

Sorry....Monday blues kicking in. Need some posifrickintivity!!!

cam I bet AF hasn't started at 5dpo. Much more likely that the cb digi piece of shit stuffed up and you ovulated a while ago. Would this be roughly normal timing for AF based on your last cycle length?

welcome chosen. Sorry that you're here but we all feel your pain and know exactly what you're going through. So we can do lots of hand holding and hugs when you need them.

bugger sal. well, maybe that one dtd will be enough!

sundance i'm sorry that your DH is feeling so low. Maybe you could agree to taking a break - since it is only one month it's not like you'd be losing lots of time, and it would mean that you can completely relax over xmas..... hard to contemplate though when you want so badly to be preggers.

handsful i hope that your weekend got better and that you got the perfect tree.

seaside i'm so sorry to hear about your mum's partner, and also that your siblings are being SO rubbish. What's with not coming to support your mum?? shocking. Also, as others have said, 7 months of not getting pg is not 7 months of "unexplained infertility". Bah!! Complete and utter bollocks. That's why the docs won't even look at you until 1 year. It's completely common for it to take at least that long.

hollyben hope you're feeling a bit better today

somewhere between 8 and 11 dpo here today. had a slow rise with my temps this month so a bit tricky to know when i ovd. had a sore back yesterday and feeling twinges on the right of my uterus so pretty sure that means that AF is on her way. rats.

Boo hiss for AF symptoms Aly, hope that's not the case. Have your temps dipped? I know, I'm really shocked at my siblings. At least a sister is flying to the UK in a few days, hopefully she can come and stay soon.

Sal I know it's good to have swimmers ready and waiting, but I thought dtd shortly after OV was ok too? I think my pg was from a 'just in case' bonk so definitely worth a shot.

Sorry about DH Sundance. Mine had a mini-meltdown the other day too, saying he was tired of always having to be the positive one, and I should be more positive about all this. Tried to explain that this is one of the hardest things we'll ever go through in our marriage and it's ok to feel shite about it, you don't have to pretend to be ok, especially with your OH.

We're officially the last of our circle to get knocked up too. I think a friend will lap us soon with DC#2...but they're lesbians so weirdly it's easier, they just go to get turkey-bastered! It's expensive, but everything is checked out for them, and the chances are pretty high. Took wife 1 two cycles, and even then she was devastated when the first didn't work. I guess I would be too at £1k a go...at least DTDWI is free for us!

Hi there, another new joiner if that's OK, graduating from the club no-one wants the join.

I've been reading this thread for a while, while going through my own MC and everyone seems so wise and supportive I thought it'd be good (for the soul at least) to join.

In a nutshell:
Me, 32. DH 32. No DC's. Unexplained infertility after TTC 18 months for #1. Finally got our BFP beginning of October which sadly ended in a MMC on Nov 15th (baby stopped developing at 6 weeks).
Still in cycle 1 post MC, not really 'trying' this month, just DTD unprotected and enjoying being close again. I was a POAS OPK addict first time around and sort of don't want to get back in to that again, but also don't want to diminish our chances of conceiving! Our BFP was actually conceived the first month I thought 'ah, fuck it' and didn't bother with the kit! I was also taking Agnus Castus that month too, but i can't see how that could have helped after only 1 month?!?

I am very apprehensive about our chances given how long it took us to conceive first time around so I'd LOVE to hear some positive stories from anyone else (first hand or otherwise) who also had unexplained infertility issues!!

Thanks and good luck to everyone!

Welcome Parsley!
Sorry to hear your about shitty time. We've all been there, so know what you're going through! We're a friendly nutty bunch and you're expected to have highs and lows aplenty! Fingers crossed you won't be here long in the nicest possible way!

I think what has happened in my case this month is that even though I started bleeding 5 days later due to the CP my body must have cracked on from when AF was actually due as the dates work out that way. I had a smiley yesterday (just thought I'd check as I had a load of EWCM and ov type cramps for the last few days) and we did actually DTD yesterday and we'll do it again today and tomorrow just in case, but I normally try and get at least 3 or 4 in before OV as I know that's better than doing it later on. But hey, you never know, after all those marathon sex months, it could be sods law that I get upduffed on a one shag month!!

Sun I said to DH that I wanted a break if it didnt work out when we got that BFP a couple of weeks ago. I'm now eating my words as he's said 'are we having a break now'. I'm not sure I could face a break to be honest, time is cracking on and I feel time is of the essence!!

seaside i'm taking a bit more easy this months with the temps in preparation for giving up completely next cycle (weaning myself off). so now that i'm in the 2ww i'm only temping every 2nd day. yesterday they were still high. Will poas on wed if AF hasn't arrived as my first xmas party is that night. xmas party season is a great silver lining for this cycle!

do your lesbian friends not have any handy gay (or not) male friends to use for a DIY turkey basting?? Would save on the £1000 per cycle...

welcome parsley. so sorry for your mc after such a long time of trying. I don't have a success story to tell myself, but I have friends who have just recently (she's about 20 weeks now) got pg after 2+ years of trying. It only happened for them once they gave up trying.
I think it's all completely random. If average time to get pg is around a year, then it stands to reason that it varies greatly. So hopefully this time around you will get your bfp very quickly.

sal that makes sense re AF start time.

Ha ha aly - my DH and wife #1 are really good long-time friends, we always used to joke about him knocking her up when needed...now everyone's looking for a resemblance!

Aly - I think that's exactly what's happened. It's a little early but only a few days. Thinking of writing an email and seeing about getting money back! Perhaps its programmed to show a peak when it realised its missed it. Fingers crossed for you though.

Welcome Parsley. Sorry you've had such a bad time of it. Fingers crossed for a much quicker conception this time round. They say people are particularly fertile after miscarriage, hopefully you'll prove that!

On training day today - v. bored.

Evening all, and welcome to chosen and parsley. I'm sorry that you find yourselves here, and I do hope your stay is short and sweet.

Camomile, how was training? At least you had time to ponder the intricacies of the CB digi nonsense while idly staring out of the window?

Aly, I can't wait to hear what Wed brings - hope the temp stays high. Yes to Christmas party season, a compensation. However, being an organised sort of girl, I had already compiled a list of Christmassy non alcoholic cocktails in October before the m/c. I guess I could just add gin to all of them! V much looking forward to doing schnapps with my Danish family though. Mmmmm.

I am deep in the throws of AF, 2nd since m/c. It is vvv heavy, more so than usual. God London was depressing today. I swear every second person walking down Fleet Street was wearing a bump on board badge. I miss my bump, it was little but it was there.

Well, I tested again this morning and again got a very faint line. Guessing it's another CP though, because AF just started - and yes, it's the real thing, full-on flooding and cramps.

I really wish I could have been pregnant for Christmas. It was the only thing I wanted.

thanks for the warm welcome ladies and hello to Parsley too - sorry you find yourself here :(

handsfull have you found your cycles have lengthened snce yr mc? I found my second the most heavy I have ever had. i am around ov now but am quite sure it is going to be late again this month as no signs yet,

Know what you mean about the bump, I miss that and the secret happy feeling that I used to have....

Cam thats strange with the af feelings so early, can the opks just detect at the wrong time? I was thinking of giving them ago if no success in next few months? xx

Ark, am so sorry to hear that hun :( very hard for you with the hopes up/down - awful

My bfp/af is due between xmas day and NYE and tbh i know that it could be a big blow to me and then be really down over xmas/ny as my moods have been awful since mc

Take care hun, I can really understand that you wanted the pg for xmas

Ouch ark, that's hard. I'm with you about Christmas too - AF is due this year on the exact day I found out about my EP last year.

Very best of luck today Over, I so hope bean is in the right place.

Fedup, did you have any luck with your EPU yesterday?

Just letting you all know I have had my scan...baby is in the right place this time. I am so shocked, really wasn't expecting good news. Everything was seen which should be and saw the heartbeat flickering too. They said I am just about 6 weeks +.

I am so relieved that my remaining tube works, even if this doesn't work out at least I don't have the worry of my ectopic trauma this time. I have a long wait ahead of me.

I am so grateful for all of your support over the past year, this thread has been my lifeline. I am sticking around and sending you all lots of luck and positivity. Hopefully I give some hope to other one tubed ladies that a pg can at least happen.

Xxx

P.s. Ark, sorry to hear AF arrived try and stay positive don't let it ruin your Christmas xx