Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Donor IUI?

999 replies

MinnieMooMoo · 09/10/2013 15:12

Hello! Just looking for a group/quiche to join but not really sure where I fit it.

I'm intending to go it alone and have Donor Insemination by IUI starting in January providing my investigations all come back clear.

Any one else in the same boat, or has done it alone in the past?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Kwick709 · 14/12/2015 19:16

I spent yesterday with my cousins twins... Lovely girls but a complete handful! I am still not deterred!
I have a lurgey (sore throat).... Normaly I would move stright to lemsip but I am not sure that is safe...so have only had 2 parcetomol in 24 hours... And have been using my neti pot and drinking orange juice! Oh and pulling coconut oil... Some that must work!
Only a week of waiting left!

Kwick709 · 16/12/2015 00:02

I am going to ramble on...
Just had day from hell.... Slept really badly, woke up and was sick and then diarrhea... Yuck. Had to get train to Paris. Got last train back which was delayed by 1 hour.... Feel like death warmed up. Have fever, feel like will vom again and am knackered.... I am NOT a good patient!
Horrid, horrid lurgy :(
Night night!

INeedNewShoes · 16/12/2015 11:35

Kwick you poor poor thing. That sounds horrid.

Can you rest at all today?

Make sure you drink plenty of water to flush the lurgy out and replace the fluids you lost.

Flowers
pickle162 · 16/12/2015 19:32

:( poor you, sounds very similar to what I had/have. Still feel totally wiped out from it, so wish you a very speedy recovery.sleep and rest as much as you can!

Germ20 · 16/12/2015 20:42

Hi can I join?

Me and my partner are wanting to start iui treatment. We are a same sex couple. We are new to all this and are just wanting some views and help lol

We are wanting to know how to go about choosing a clinic? Is is best to go to your gp first? Do you think it's worth trying through the nhs or going private straight away? Sorry about all the questions.

Also Kwick I wish you good luck with this course of iui. Fingers crossed

Thank you in advance 😁

INeedNewShoes · 16/12/2015 21:40

Hello Germ

My first port of call was my GP. I knew that IUI wouldn't be available for me on the NHS as a single woman but I still appreciated the opportunity to chat through my plans with my GP, who actually then offered to run some of the blood tests for me (saving me probably £300). Because I have a medical condition the fertility clinic have insisted on a letter from my GP stating that I'm in a fit state to be pregnant and look after a child - it was a relief that my GP was already in the loop when I had to request this.

In terms of choosing a clinic, I would have thought there are three key factors:

  1. Statistics of success rates (available on most of the clinics' websites)
  2. Logistics - you need to be able to get to the clinic easily, sometimes at short notice
  3. Cost - the cost of clinics in the UK was prohibitive for me (I could have afforded a couple of attempts but would have been left absolutely skint which would be no good if a baby is on the way)

There's not really any substitute for you doing lots of research online. Check out fertilityfriends.co.uk where there are hundreds of women talking about their experiences of doing this. Look at clinics' websites to get an idea of the treatment options etc.

Hope that's a bit helpful. I know it seems like a minefield but the more research you do the clearer it will become!

Kwick709 · 17/12/2015 21:43

Dear Germ20 - welcome! May i wish you every success in your endeavour.

Ineednewshoes - you should do this for a living! You hit the nail on the head regarding choosing a clinic :)

Pickle - sorry you have been poorly too.. Hope you are better now.

I went to see "my" gp... But my practice is pants... i get a different doctor each time. This time the gp started off by saying I should contact local nhs fertility clinic and then he would refer me... I then clarified that I was a single women (something which is on my file supposedly) and he said there was no nhs funding for single women. He then told me about natural ivf in the Netherlands - where according to him a country girl goes to Amsterdam gets drunk, has sex with a stranger and gets pregnant. !!!!!!!!!

So the waiting is driving me crazy..... I think i might start testing from tomorrow.... I have fooled myself into thinking that this is for logistical reasons as if I am pregnant I need to get to the clinic and get my hormones tested before Christmas but it is more because I just cannot bear the suspense anymore!!!!!! Any thoughts?

Germ20 · 17/12/2015 22:19

Thank you both for your replies.

We are going to see my gp but like you Kwick I see a different doctor every time. I've done some small research into clinics and the nearest one with okayish stats is nearly 60 miles away which is Leeds clinic.

I worry my gp will turn us away for being 'too young!' I think that's why I hesitate a little about just saving and going private straight away.

Thank you both for your help and I wish you both good luck. I'm still researching and have been for months 😂

best wishes

Kwick709 · 17/12/2015 22:22

Spanish proverb: baby that does no cry does not get fed - no harm in asking your gp... They can only say no.

INeedNewShoes · 18/12/2015 16:18

Have you managed to be patient and wait to test Kwick ? Is it Sunday you should be waiting until?

I have no idea how I'll handle the TWW. I think it'll be a case of keeping as busy as possible!

getyourselfchecked · 18/12/2015 21:40

Hi,
Can I just say, some NHS trusts DO fund single women. Mine would have but I went private due to time constraints/age. Definitely worth asking.

Kwick709 · 18/12/2015 22:31

I have held off from testing!! I am supposed to test on Monday but that seems an awfully long way away.....
Sorry for my stupid question but can anyone help me find the abbreviations key... The only ones I know are LOL and BTW and they have nothing to do with fertility!
I also have a confession to make... I fell off the (food) wagon earlier this week and had some red meat (i got a craving for ribs) - but I am back on the wagon again!

INeedNewShoes · 19/12/2015 00:00

There's a website where you can check whether your PCT (or whatever the modern equivalent is) fund it for single women. When I looked I don't think there was anywhere in England still offering NHS treatment, but it's always worth checking. My GP has confirmed that treatment isn't available on the NHS for me.

Kwick Well done for not testing yet! I don't think you should worry about the red meat.

Here are the acronyms

www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

(though use them with caution! MN etiquette seems to be to write in proppa sentences innit, with the exception of things like BFP, TWW, DD, DP etc.)

INeedNewShoes · 19/12/2015 00:07

Actually, re NHS treatment I have just found this:

www.bhamivf.org.uk/

They seem to treat single women on the NHS so obviously it is available in some areas.

All the info on the NHS and HFEA websites seem to imply that you would only be eligible for treatment as a single woman if you have known fertility problems.

Kwick709 · 19/12/2015 16:21

So what is TWW? You see, I am that ignorant I do not know! I was looking for the fertility ones as I went on to fertilityfriends and it seems to be in code!
I am getting geared up to test tomorrow (one day early)... Which I think is a nice compromise :)

Kwick709 · 19/12/2015 19:05

Is TWW two week wait? That makes sense, and yes it is very hard to endure... Even if you are busy as you are reminded twice a day when you apply the crinone gel - which I think is prescribed for both iui and ivf and the bugger of that are the side effects - like cramps, nausea, boobage ache, clumping, etc, etc... I should imagine that headaches is also one as I have been getting loads of those recently which is very unusual for me.
I felt so yucky this morning that i have had a day on the sofa... Very naughty as I have a lot of stuff to be getting on with but I just felt like death this morning. I am going to have an early night also and hopefully a bit of a lie in tomorrow.

Germ20 · 19/12/2015 19:24

Thank you for your help.

We are going. To see the gp after Christmas. Hopefully find out the wait and if we can get any funding at all but I highly doubt it :(

No harm in asking.

Thank you 😁 Good luck on your testing tomorrow Kwick

INeedNewShoes · 19/12/2015 20:22

TWW is indeed two-week wait.

Good luck for tomorrow Kwick

Kwick709 · 20/12/2015 06:27

BFN :( will test again tomorrow... This is exhausting and soul destroying.
Thanks for everyone's well wishes.

pickle162 · 20/12/2015 07:55

Hi everyone,

Welcome germ20 :)good luck with seeing the gp and starting your journey.
I went to an open day at one of the clinics that was having a seminar which was so useful.also a lot of the clinics websites have soooo much info on. I don't think there is an age thing (except an upper age) for same sex couples as the fertility issue is no sperm which isn't going to change so hopefully won't meet any judgemental gp's along the way.
There are so many options too, my friend at works niece has just had a baby with her wife and they decided one would have the baby and one would provide the eggs which would be implanted into the "host" mummy therefore both of them being involved and linked to the baby, which I thought was a lovely idea.
I too have been advised to go down to local 'rough' bit of town to "just meet someone random and have sex" which infuriates me greatly 1)why risk std from stranger 2) you have (possibly) made that person a daddy without him knowing or consenting 3)would u tell him,then you have to have someone involved that you don't want involved??
I don't why people think this is better than a safe way of trying to become a parent??! Anyway I'll get off my high horse :)

Kwick I'm so sorry to hear bfn but do try again tomorrow if that's the 2weeks there may just not be enough hormone yet, be kind to yourself xx

INeedNewShoes · 20/12/2015 08:20

Sorry Kwick . When things don't go my way I find planning my next step helps so that I feel I have some control over things.

Germ20 · 20/12/2015 13:56

Hi pickle.

I am 20 and my fiancée is 23 that's why I feel they will say we are too young. Not yet married but plans are processing. I hope no judgement will be coming from my gp although I can't remember the last time I went 😳 So I don't really know any of them. Thank you for your kind wishes

I've been doing lots of research into clinics there is one closer to me than Leeds but it's stats are not as good.
We have discussed the eggs from my partner being used but we are wanting info from the gp before we decide anything like that I think.

I need would need to lose a few pounds before treatment anyway 😂

We have a long process ahead but it will all be worth it ❤️

pickle162 · 21/12/2015 13:30

It's all very exciting tho :) good luck when you go. I should really speak to a gp but a bit too scared and I work for nhs, in one of the buildings I work at family planning are there too but I don't want them to know why I'm having to go down that route and see them every week plus they use the same notes system as us so don't want anyone else seeing :/ I'm such a wimp lol.at least the fertility people do this all day everyday:)
Kwick how are you doing?
X

Kwick709 · 21/12/2015 14:04

Bfn again this morning Sad I spoke to a nurse at the clinic who said that i need to go in for a baseline scan day 1-3 and then, as I am doing medicated iui this time, inject every 2 days from day 3. So now just waiting for period to start Confused
I am sad.
I had to tell my 10 year old nephew as our star warsathon (which starts tomorrow) or Christmas may be impacted, he was very understanding Star
I am trying to keep the negativity at bay.

Pickle sounds a bit complicated re: seeing gp... Not sure what to advise except to say my gp was a waste of time anyway!
Anyway I had better get on with my day....

pickle162 · 21/12/2015 18:35

Dry and put to the back of your mind and enjoy Xmas with your family and start a fresh with plan b. Keep ur chin up sweetie x