hi berries, thanks for the input on this latest question of mine. RP no you're not being presumptuous; this TTC mess has really gotten me down and mentally I feel overwhelmed by the gravity of it all more often than not, although I try not to show it IRL.
I spoke to FC's nurse last night (who as Charming said is lovely) after she had to call me back bc she needed to sort her kids out 
oh the irony. She reminded me that the polyp may not actually be a polyp; v common to have a mucous buildup that is then shed with a period. FC doesn't remove them privately so she's checking with a colleague for the price in case I can't get the NHS to do it quickly enough, should there be a need. So on that count I feel like I have a few options, which is all I need to not feel panicky.
I've opted to skip the clomid this month, mainly bc I ovulate on my own anyway (doubly so), so the useful features of the monitored cycle for me are the scan to check progress, and the trigger shot - and that's what the FC would scrap if the aqua scan confirms a polyp. So I've set up an aquascan for next week and obviously will hope that it was some sort of uterine sludge that has bid me adieu, and then maybe I could still go for the follicle scan/trigger shot at the appropriate time, just without having taken the clomid.
I think once I have an answer after the aquascan, I'll book a consult with whatever clinic we decide is top choice, and start the process of IVF. As much as it terrifies me, I just can't keep going through this disappointment every month. Even with all the BFNs, I had started to wonder if maybe I was pg after all, and had grand ideas of surprising my family back home with the news in person, but it didn't work out that way. I think I will follow Gil's lead and try to focus more on the gym; I am woefully unfit and and the next best thing to having a baby bump over the summer would be having a bikini-ready tummy so perhaps I could get one or the other.
still catching up on the thread 