The Elderberry Pavlovas and the eternal hope for a fresh, springy and healthy Palace of the Child! (thread 15)

[Bunnygirlie]

Here we go again.....

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 6+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

Moping on the doorstep of despair. Don't want to come in until I've snapped out of it.

Whassup barking ?

Come in, I have and

Nothing new, just feeling sorry for myself. Over 5 weeks since the bleeding started and still no sign of ovulation or AF. I know it can take longer but I was really hoping it wouldn't. I've now got to the stage where everyone assumes I'm ok and I feel like screaming it's not like getting over a cold you know but there's no real point or benefit in telling people you're feeling miserable. Had a really tiring week at work so I'm probably just run down and more vulnerable. Didn't think 5 weeks on I'd still be randomly crying. Maybe today's extra emotion is a sign AF is due desperately clutches at straws

Awww Hun it's gonna take a while, hugs x

barking I don't think anyone assumes you're fine, like bunny says it'll take time. I guess people just don't want to remind you of it all the time but it doesn't mean that people don't want you to talk about it. We're all here, whenever you need us

Hugs Barking. I second what Blind said. It will just take time

BFN here this morning having all sorts of irrational and depressing thoughts that I'll spare you all from reading as you've probably had the same "it will never happen" thoughts yourselves. I think I've convinced myself that because I want this so badly, I'll never have it, or like I'd be pushing my luck to count on it. Going off to have a little cry and then will snap out of it somehow and will check in later this evening. Hope you all have a fab Saturday - great weather here & hope it is your way too xx

Barking, as Kitty says, it's hard to know on which days talking about it is what you would want/need vs days where you wouldn't want to talk about. I don't expect of think of you as 'better', in fact I suspect there is only one thing to make it better. Hugs. And praying for AF to start for you.
I'm not waiting for sid

Grr sid cross post. What kind of test was it? Hate to say it but its early. How do you feel today? No AF I assume?

Remember the night before my bfp I had a stark white bfn and cried myself to sleep x

Morning!

A bloody miserable day here, rain rain rain

How are you today barking? Hope you are feeling better.

Oh sid hugs! Maybe leave it a few days until AF is late and try again.

How is everyone today?

Oh Sid I'm sorry. BFN is just so depressing. I agree, wait for AF and see........

barking I am guessing it is like most other kinds of grief, that some days you will feel you are moving on - and other days you will just feel shit. Your body is healing like you are, and you know you can do this, you can conceive. It's so hard to know what to say without sounding really trite...

Barking was thinking of you, and how you were doing??
Sorry its all so pants, i remember havig a few better days then it catching me off guard and being soo pissed off because you really dont want to feel like this any more and just keep going over and over everything.
It is still really soon hon, and I can honestly say it does get better, does not go away, but gets better than now. I also remember being really pissed off and thinking that everyone else thought I was fine now or should be fine by now, actually no one wanted to bring it up in case it upset me. I am kind of glad they didn't cause people say some really stupid things when they try to make you feel better, which I didn't want, someone to listen maybe, but really preferred it when they listened and agreed it was shit instead of telling me crap like "it will happen soon" or "at least you know you can" and other rubbish i am sure people have said to you too.
When I had my mc the epu gave me a test to do 2 weeks later to make sure it was negative by then - were you asked to do the same?

Sorry sid, but its not over till thefatbitchsings AF turns up, hugs x

Barking have blocked bits of it out so really could not remember precisely- but working it out from my dates of AF in aug and sep I must have had 1st AF after mc about 5-5 1/2 weeks. I do know they say up to 6 wks is normal notthatthishelps

Quiet again today, people fed up with Berry HQ?!?

How about if we bring out the and

sid how many times was I negative? Like merk, even the day before my bfp I was still saying that all 3 iuis would fail and I'd prob need several ivfs!

Hmm just noticed that barking hasn't been back on all day. Hope she's ok x

No cramps today; I feel 'off' still, nausea comes and goes but eases up if I eat something. I know what it sounds like, but I just don't think it's happened. Today is at least 10dpo and there wasn't even a whiff of a line. Merk the test was an IC. Not really sure how I respond to those but I'll keep on testing and see what happens.

Today was tough bc I remembered that last October I was late by 3-4 days, and shocked to get a neg on a test. DH suggested it was an early miscarriage and today I had the fleeting thought that here we are, a year later, with nothing to show for it except the beginning of a steady stream of fairly daunting clinic bills.

Tomorrow's another day though, and even if the result's the same, I hope to be in a better frame of mind over it. Your support means everything, though. It's nice to think that other people believe in my body's ability to function, even if I'm not sure I do.

sid and for you x

sid it's really not over till af shows. I (like everyone else on this thread) know how you're feeling and you just have to remember that one day this will all be a very distant memory. The odds are, we'll all get what we want at some point, and who knows - you may end up with a bfp yet!

Hope everyone else is well. X

Hugs sid
Feather's note about one day this being a distant memory really hits the nail on the head. I know how hard it is, and I know waiting for it to happen and wanting it to happen sooner rather than later is emotionally draining, but it WILL happen for you x

sid this has every chance of working for you this month, don't give up hope just yet!

Morning Berries!

How are you sid? And everyone else too?

I think we have all had those feelings of hopelessness, anybody who has been trying more than a year has x

Sid there's still time, I'll hang onto a little bit of positivity for you!

And ditto what feather and merk said xxx

Morning berries,
In bed with cough & sore throat, rang in sick at half 3 this morning, pants.
Thanks for the & bunny will have a little of each of thats ok?

more hugs on their way barking

how you feeling today sid?

Oh no foody feel better soon!