TTC 10 months + Part 17.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

For all the lovely 10+ers, and anyone else lurking, who has been trying for long enough to start worrying. This is a great place to rest until the elusive BFP shows up.

Cos. Nice to be your bday twin. I dread birthdays mainly because it comes right after New Year. Xmas makes me quite blue anyway what with my fractured family.
No luck with the clinic. I called 4 times today - twice they put the phone down, once no answer and final time I got through but was told the big man still had the file and I should get a call before the end of the week. I have given up now.
Will you be doing another fresh round in the new year? Will you stick with your clinic? I know you says you might consider the argy any further thoughts on that?

mrsd so sorry it has been confirmed as a bfn for you, big hugs

That probably makes you a week or two wiser than me then . I hope they call you tomorrow, it's so frustrating thinking your results are on someone's desk. It can't hurt to keep badgering them. Afm mr cos is pretty against going to argy at the moment because of the practicalities and cost. He'd rather do more rounds locally for the same price. I don't really know tbh. I think we might stick with the local clinic for another round in the new year possibly without all the immune treatment but with extra progesterone.

Early morning waves! Like critter, I too am angry for mrsd and rabbit. Huge hugs.

On a very different note, I've created a new home for ALL ten plussers in off the beaten track. here
I miss chatting to you ladies. It doesn't feel right chatting here and I'd like to chat to you all as friends :)
There is and waiting :)

Sea - I had forgotten to say Grrr at the clinic. So they have the results and haven't called? That is so bloody annoying. Honestly they are irritating but not normally as bad as this. It can only be because it is November. Hopefully it will settle down there soon.

Cos - I had been to see this man who took my pulse and told me what day of my cycle I was on. He then asked whether I had breast pain. I mentioned how painful they had become since TTC - I was sometimes having to wear a bra in bed. He said that in Chinese medicine breast pain is a sign of infertility. It means oestrogen dominance. I had to start rubbing in progesterone cream in around day 10 - so before ovulation for a few months. He said it may affect ovulation but the point was to rebalance the oestrogen. Low and behold the breast pain subsided and didn't kick in until a few days before my period as opposed to ten days and even then it wasn't that bad.
It's very odd as another acupuncturist had told me it was a good sign and meant I was producing lots of progesterone and of course it's a sign of pregnancy so it can't be all bad! But no pregnancy to show for it of course but it was a hormone balance thing really.

Princess what a lovely idea. Will come over and have a look.

sea how ridiculously frustrating. How can they deliver such a poor service and charge so much?

Nice idea Princess. I'll look in. But you are always welcome on here.

joy that's interesting about the boob pain. Mine starts pretty much as soon as I have ovulated.

cos/sea I'm another January birthday here. I'll be 38 though. How TF did that happen?

as I'm on holiday this week I am of course waking up at Dawn's crack every bloody morning. Grrr.

Den I am sorry you had a confirmation of what you knew, it can't be nice to hear it. At least that's something I'll be spared. I got an erm ring us if you're pregnant or book in your review. How are you? I've been thinking of you. I hope it isn't insensitive of me to say that it could be you have to play the numbers game longer because of the way in which the process happens where you are. Would treatment abroad be out of the question? Are success rates a tad lower there? (This is meant to be me saying that this is not indicative that this can't work but everything that comes out of my mouth sounds lately).

Euro I like the hairdresser story too. I have become a lot better at discussing pregnancy with interest and neutrality. Surprise announcements make me feel awful still though.

Sea. Would you like a progesterone fuelled angry rabbit to go and kick arse?!! Why can't all results be on a computer I wonder. You must feel so frustrated. Worth turning up and refusing to leave?

Joycep you are such a trooper for doing all that with independence. I'm too anxious about hospitals now and made H set all appointments and do all phone calls. I never even saw a drug or needle, I'm such a wimp. Roy should know how very lucky he is and of your immense bravery!

Princess that is a great idea! I'm off to look now.

Wave to cos. My birthday is in the week of otd which is the first day of December, a true advent treat. It's so far away, I'm expecting a period at some point after the weekend. Does progesterone affect that?

Euro have a fab hols! Yay to another January baby!

Cos I think that sounds like a good plan. I have heard the argy are much better once you are cycling so don't let my moaning put you off. I read the current argc cycling threads over on ff. It is v intense and takes over your life but I do see lots of successes. But I think another local round makes sense.

Joy. That's v interesting about your male Chinese doc. I like the sound of him. Is he London based? Wld it be okay for me to get his details from you? And yes it is frustrating about the argy. I think their communication is quite poor for people who aren't cycling yet. I do understand the people doing ivf have to be priority but it doesn't make it less frustrating.

What a lovely idea princess. I will check out the new thread.

Thanks for the new thread, princess. Is it a baby/pregnancy/infertility free zone?

Sea, gah that you have to wait just because the clinic can't get their arse in gear. It does sound a little chaotic there, let's hope their clinical procedures are more organised.

Joy, you're such a brave lady to have done so much of this on your own. I hated ec this time because I didn't get a private room so was with 5 others and there was no room so the men had to stay in the waiting room and I hated being without mrden. What I hate most is how the process is so focused on the woman.

Rabbit, you're right that I think it's more of a numbers game here. Interestingly, their success figures for live births are comparable to uk clinics. Although I take any stats with a pinch of salt when I haven't seen how they've been compiled. What I'm a bit worried about is that all four of mine were supposedly good quality on day 2, I've had two 4 cells, one 3 cell and one 5 cell put back. Yet they seem to just die off so I'm very scared that there is something else going on. I don't have great faith that they will even defrost ok let alone do anything if they're transferred.

I have eaten rabbit. New name for new stage. I like the thread. It feels safe and cosy. But here is spiritual home and I will remain here (possibly with broom) UNTIL I HAVE MY BABY!

Den, they will thaw. There is still lots and lots of hope.

I did float the idea of going abroad for a future round where we could take them to blast. I haven't done any research on this, my criteria would be mainland Europe and cheaper the better.

Oh hello foxy! Yes, I'll be staying here too.

It might be worth a go den. You can make lots of eggs, enough to get some to blast I'm sure. I wonder if you can synch with a local clinic for scans and just go over for ec/et?

Mrsd - I think it is hard to get a full picture on day2 though. Mine look fine on day 2 and even on day3 and I am not saying you have my problems but it is hard to really know what is going on - it is quite a guessing game at that stage to pick the strong ones especially if you have lots to choose from.
It's very odd they can't even take you to day 3 as that was always the standard pre blast. But you do have the fets and they will thaw. There are loads of great clinics in Europe and a hell of a lot cheaper than Blighty.

Just popping in quickly to say mrsd a lot of our embryos died off between day 2-3, which the consultant put down to poor sperm quality. I think the sperms are meant to take over a couple of days after fertilisation. As joy said, I've had 5 embryos put back (out of about 23 eggs produced!), 3 of which were seemingly good quality - last full ivf cycle one was a grade 1 8 celler on day 3 so really should've worked. I too was convinced there was something wrong with me, as well as Mr G, but looking back, I think it was prob just a numbers game, not that it makes it any easier. Some friends of friends with male factor in the country you're in popped over the border for their 3rd ivf cycle, due to the whole blast issue. Think they are in a different part of the country to you though. Big hugs, I am thinking of you.

joy you are such a trooper! No way could I have done EC and ET on my own. In fact Mr G came to every appt and did every jab for me. I think the fact he felt the need for treatment was his 'fault' meant he felt he had to be ultra supportive, but that was what I needed and we're all different. It did pee me off that he seems to get much more stressed and upset about work than the ivf fails. Men are weird.

Waves and luffs to everyone else. Despite the new space, hope you don't mind me popping in here from time to time. As you say, it's the spiritual home and I identify with so much of the chat on here. Gotta go, running late, argh!

Hello lovelies! I'll be here cheering and hoping, or being angry or sad on all your behalves! I have been reading, rejoiced over the poutster return, but been very moved by the moving on convo going on. I think SB was getting close to that stage and we might still foster or adopt after this. It seemed a good plan for us, maybe not even B. But I feel a little out of place commenting too much, being one of the lucky ones!

Mrsd I'd have a look at belgium, been hearing good things about their health care from friends! And I agree it's a numbers game!

MrsD so sorry the BFN was confirmed. This sucks :)

Just marking place just now. Will post tonight properly.

mrsd my clinic do OE IVF, I was more than happy with the whole process and with them, they charge 1950 euros for everything but the drugs, they are 800 euros, our trip all up for 8 days all inclusive was £5200.

euro hope AF stayed away and the scratch was successful

sea we're just staycationing and the week is almost over now. Boooo! It has flown by far too quickly. We couldn't fit in a proper holiday between family visits and IVF shyte. And frankly with 4 rounds in one year, we couldn't really afford it either!

joy you have done incredibly well to have done so much on your own. Mr euro is not properly up for this cycle and was not massively supportive today. In some ways I wish he hadn't bothered coming! But usually I am glad that he is there to chat to me and take my mind off things as much as anything.

mrsd as well as our own buzzy quite a few of the Egg Buddies have gone to the Czech Republic and they all seem to have had good experiences. Another is cycling in Spain but I think she lives there anyway. Or I guess there is always the good old UK! Not the cheapest option but some clinics are very good.

gin you and the other differs are always welcome here. :) I for one like having you around both for company and as a reminder that this slog is all worth it in the end.

Well, I survived the scratch. It was actually fine. I thought he had already done it at one point as the catheter going in was ouchy. The scratch itself felt like a tickle in comparison! The worst bit was the scanner pressing on my very full bladder, so no different from ET really. rabbit you were right - I am apparently well hard in the ladygarden area. :)

Oh bugger MrsD my happy face was meant to be a sad face. Sorry for coming across like a heartless wretch!

Still on phone! Will turn laptop on soon and do the proper catch up.

Hi All,

Sorry again for being absent. Work is nuts !

Just popping on quickly to say sorry for the bfn Mrsd. Knowing ahead of time, doesn't make it any easier to hear.

Paw squeeze for you foxy, I can't believe the clinic let Boris slip out early. Hopefully the new name will bring you new luck.

So much more I wanted to say but gotta go. Love and waves to all.

C xx

cos not really temperature charting, but I keep a track of cycle length as chinese doctor is trying to get it down from 45 days to nearer 30 days, make a note of when I pounce on MrFree.

Euro you are well hard! I am pretty tough (way too many hobble related injuries over the years) but found the scratch pretty sore, if only very briefly. I hope it does the trick for you. I am still p'd that I wasted £250 seen as I didn't even get to ET with that round.

Coco you sound way too busy!

Joy I am in awe at you doing all those things alone. MrN has been very present supportive during the various rounds but would never ever bring TTC up in conversation. He is usually pretty good at talking about it if I bring it up, but has on occasion managed to completely ignore warning signs of me being quite upset about something, and called me out on something when he should have cut me some slack. Like last week when driving home from our review appointment, when we basically talked for half an hour about how shit my body was, he then snapped at me because I couldn't decide if I wanted to go out for dinner or go home. . Anyway you are such a trooper and that is what will make you an awesome mum!

Pout MrP deserves some serious words from your 10+ posse! I am interested in your plan B you mentioned earlier. And also the crafting, what is your speciality? Do you quilt? I have been thinking about getting one for our very cold bedroom though perhaps this is for the other thread . I am so pleased you are back with us by the way, except for the underlying reason we are all here of course.

MrsD I think an overseas clinic would be a great idea and I too have heard good things about Belgium. I hope you forgive me my smiley face error up-thread .

Cos I love the words you said to Joy and Pout - so wise! I'm not surprised you are worried about the Tent, you have been through so bloody much.

Sea the clinic would have sent me round the bend by now. Oh I so hope it results in good news.

Like the new name Fox! Sorry you have been having so much low-ness through all this. I hate what TTC does to us all. The new thread is a good idea. It's sometimes useful and cathartic to wallow in the TTC misery, and other times I don't want to, and feel cheated from a good and fun and happy life. All the moving on chat has been fascinating to read, but there have been posts that have made me hold my breath with the eloquence and wisdom, but oh so much sadness :(.

I was also drawn very much to the talk of a battle that must be won, rather than the end result. My crazy hypno lady said right at the start "we aren't here to get you pregnant, we are here to get you a baby". I think even then it didn't really resonate. These days, I am just happy if it looks like I ovulated one bloody egg.

On which point I have no idea what is going post-IVF. I was told on my first cycle, that the first cycle after failure-bleed would be 4-6 weeks. I can work out from first round that it was 5 weeks and 2 days. Not sure about the second round, I didn't pay so much attention, but it was about 5 again. This time, tomorrow will be 6 weeks and so far nothing. But I seem to have had EWCM today Can I really be ovulating after 6 weeks? At the same time I feel like AF is imminent so who knows! These days though, I'm curious rather than particularly bothered about it. I think that having DE as such a real prospect means it really takes the pressure off. And that can only be a good thing.

(Typing on MN "hmm my period should have turned up by now" is usually a sure-fire bet to bring it on, so better nip to the loo )

Sorry for everyone I have missed. WFH tomorrow so will try to catch up a bit more. I know there were several other things I wanted to say but they will have to wait.

nelly be glad you weren't in London - mine was £350! Proof that everything is more expensive down here, even womble damaging.

I'm on AF wait too. I didn't bother temp tracking this cycle but I had EWCM on Saturday a fortnight ago, so it must be imminent. My boobs are less sore, so that is a sure sign that it will come soon.

fox I meant to say I love the new name. And the comment about eating rabbit!

Just a quick note, I have been slowly keeping up with the thread but haven't had time to post and feel as if I have turned into a lurker.

MrsD - sorry about the bfn.

Foxy - Big paw squeeze, I'm sorry and angry that the clinic dropped the ball. On another note, I like the new name.

Waves and handholds to everyone in the different stages of waiting, hoping and treatments. I have to run back to work. eek!