TTC 10 months + Part 17.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

For all the lovely 10+ers, and anyone else lurking, who has been trying for long enough to start worrying. This is a great place to rest until the elusive BFP shows up.

hi everyone, I'm new to this thread & MN... Been enjoying the supportive messages & happy stories. Feeling a bit low atm as been TTC for 14 months, and today got AF which was 4 days late. ugh. DP very supportive but feel so sad for him. we've had all the tests and apparetly i have pcos but totally asymptomatic. Waiting for the gyno app but it's taking AGES. just thought I'd say hi as it's so difficult to talk abotu stuff in real life - people seem embarrassed but it's obviously so common!

Rabbit I agree baby george doesn't give me baby envy at all. MrSea thinks he's cute though..
Are you not tempted to POAS? Go on.. do it. Why not rule it out?
As for eczema and being instadiff... ummm i think that does make me feel better. There's no direct link I don't think but the consultant told me things like hayfever could be linked to high immunes etc. Who knows! I must say I am not 100% convinced about immunes but with no clear answers this was a way of getting some answers.
I did full chicago immunes back in April/May and they found high cytokines and recommended humira. Latent TB was found because to do humira you need to get that checked out. 1st lot of humira made cytokines shot up even more. Did 2nd and now waiting for results of the 2nd. I just called them and they told me results come back after 2 days!!! But it can take over a week for the doc to review?! She said she will see what they can do.

x post nolly! Welcome to the thread. Sorry you find yourself on here and I hope your stay is short for all the right reasons. Getting your period is the worst isn't it.

i agree baby george looks ridiculous. she's probably wearing a corset, no? hi seamermaid - yeah, it's pants. this thread has been amazing tho, so many good tips and also info. is it just me or is it impossible to get good advice from e.g. nhs?? it's all so vague. even GP (clearly at least 5 years younger than me - I am 31) had to look pcos up on net

Very quick and selfish post from me. I had my scan this morning, doctor said there were lots of eggs but they still need to grow bigger. So I've got to carry on stimming and have another scan on Tuesday, with ec maybe on Thursday. It wasn't my usual dr because mines on holiday, he must have only spoke a few sentences. He didn't say how many eggs there were but I thought I counted 6 on one ovary and 3 on the other. Lining was 7. Something. The follicles all looked to be different sizes though, this is what's worrying me that they're growing at different rates like last time. I asked if it was what he'd expect to see and he sort of mumbled a yes. Maybe it's just his manner but I'm worried now. Sorry, I know I need to be positive but ec still seems a long way off.

Mrsd didn't want to leave you hanging. i had multiple scans before ec and some bigger follies and smaller ones. we still got 8 eggs at the end though. try not to panic but i know i did too

Welcome nolly

MrsD - Big hand hold. I know it is worrisome but as Nelly says it's quite normal to have follies growing at different rates. You only need one!

Nolly - GPs are generally not knowledgeable about fertility stuff. Mine admitted this to me. The best thing is to get referred to a cycle monitoring unit. Worth asking your GP I think.

AFM - not good news I am afraid. Cytokines still high so no cycling for me this month. Have to wait for a doc to call me next week.

Sorry about the high cytokines, sea!

Welcome nolly, maybyour stay be short and sweet!

It will be ok, mrsd! Keeping stuff crossed!

Thanks for all the good wishes, the scan was fine! A good string heart beat, which we heard and measuring just over 8 weeks :) such a relief!

Lemons that's great news. I am so happy you got to hear the heartbeat.. it must have been amazing. I am so pleased it's good news.

Quickly popping on to say big hand hold mrsd and sea

sorry about the worry mrsd.

sea so sorry that you have to wait

welcome nolly. I hope your stay is short for all the right reasons.

Rabbit that is annoying - are you going to poas? Maybe Sunday if still no sign?

Euro that sounds like a good clinic plan, I think sticking with create where you're comfortable is a good move for the next round. Otherwise you might be at crgh thinking that you'd wished you stayed at create iykwim.

Lemons that's amazing news, am so thrilled for you.

MrsD my follies all grew at random rates but most were mature on egg collection day, so do think you had an unusual reaction last time. I think the bit to focus on is a good number of follies were seen. Don't read anything into umming and erring, he was probably thinking about his lunch!

Sea oh that's so annoying, how frustrating. I really hope they can give you a better plan of something to bring them down as the humira doesn't seem to be working. I can't recall, did they retest for the latent tb, is that definately gone?

Welcome nolly. I think I found the point you're at the hardest, as you're still coming to terms with things not being straightforward and it is very hard to start talking about it with friends. I have to say the friends I have managed to talk to about it have been by and large brilliant, and its definately got easier over time - I could bore anyone these days. How did they confirm pcos?

Coco how's things, what news?

I'm feeling rather glum tonight. No particular reason just feel sad. Where I work doesn't help - there's a massively cynical group at work who bitch all day long and I mostly ignore it but it really got me down today. I've seen another job I quite fancy but seems like stupid timing if we want to do more Ivf as I can fit it in so easily at the moment. Ho hum.

lemon great news :)

mrsd your lining is looking good, I think its normal to have follies grow at different rates, my donor had 10 eggs but 7 were mature

sea fingers crossed you get some answers soon so you can cycle this time

nolly welcome

rabbit how are you holding up

cos Sorry you are feeling glum, big hugs, its hard to know what to do about work, if it is easy to get the time off then maybe stick it out, you'll be updiffed soon and your colleagues won't be a concern

Yay Lemon, this is fabulous news :). Please, fertility fuckers, let the next 32 weeks be dull and boring for Lemon.

Sea, not so happy for you, I am so sorry. Any gut reactions as to what to do next? I definitely think I'd be leaning towards a cycle now. But it's hard to know what to do.

Hello nolly, I'm Nelly so hope we don't get confused

MrsD, Mad speaks sense! Stay calm, it's very early days yet. The bigger ones will likely slow a bit anyway. Lots of follies is good though, so fingers crossed for you.

Got a letter from the NHS today. As I'm in otherwise in disgusting health, I convinced myself they had noticed I had passed 3 years and were going to offer me a cycle. Eh no. It was a "you are due your smear" letter. As I had the last one done at the start of TTC, this was yet another metaphorical kick in the guts.

Euro I missed your sad date. It's so crap. Hooray for your bestie, she sounds lovely. Your time will come though, you are just having bad luck. Your plan sounds good but ouch at the tests.

Sorry for gazillions missed again.

mrsd it sounds like everything is going in the right direction. You'll be fine!

Welcome nolly. I hope your stay here will be mercifully brief.

Oh no, sea. I'm sorry you can't cycle yet. How frustrating.

drizz that's brilliant news. :) About time we had some on this thread.

Thanks nelly. Bestie is lovely. She has 3 IVF sprogs so knows all about the heartache.

dulcet CRGH is just another clinic - a more expensive one!

cos sorry about the glumness. Your hormones must still be all over the place. I agree with you about it being a terrible time to jobhunt, but I am talking to another firm about a possible move. I've been putting it off for a while because it's easy to just slip out for appointments at my place, but I've let so many good opportunities go, I decided to just go with this one and what will be will be.

rabbit how are you doing?

joy you are gorgeous and bright. Don't do yourself down!

buzz I think we will probably fit in one more go before Xmas. How are you doing? Do you feel more relaxed about things now you have passed the danger zone?

Waves to coco and anyone I have missed!

Amazing news lemon, I'm so happy for you.

Thanks everyone for the hand holding. I feel a bit better, there's is no point worrying about it. I have a scan on tues so hoping for good news then.

That's crap that you've got more waiting to do sea, what is the problem with these cytokines? Will they cause mc?

Welcome Nolly.

euro I'm glad you'll have a go before xmas, a BFP is all you need from Santa, to be honest I don't want to moan but I have been unwell, up at A&E being checked out for clots on the lungs. I do feel calmer though, I'm having my last intralipids this weekend, I was going to do another one but don't really feel it would make much difference, but then again tomorrow I might panic and do it anyway

I am grateful to be pregnant but I'm not having a great pregnancy and just want to have my baby asap.

Buzzy, I'm sorry to hear you've not been well. Please don't think you can't moan on here, we're here for all 10 plussers past and present.

Thank you for all the support ladies.

Cosmos – Of course you feel glum. You have been through so much and you have been so strong. I hear you on work front. I too want to make a change post Masters but I am so worried about all the time I will need to take off for ivf. It’s so difficult to live you life when you have to somehow consider everything with the AC lens. Part of me, like Euro thinks we should just go for it regardless of ivf and baby concerns, a la Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In.

Buzzy – Are you okay? What’s been the matter? Please don’t feel like you cannot share here. MrsD is right we are all here for 10 plussers. Are you still having intralipids? Is this for NKcells?

Coco - Where are you at now? Have you have tests booked in?

Nelly – I know just how you feel re smear letter as I got the same one a few weeks ago. I called and said but I just had it done recently… it was 3 years ago. I too had it done just before AC testings etc. Sigh. Do you have a plan for ivf? Are you waiting for a NHS round?

Euro – Good luck with the role. Sounds like a good one. Your plan for ivf sounds v sensible. I am pleased you will be able to do one before Xmas.

Rabbit - Any sign of the red witch?

Pout - I don't know if you are still reading. I thought of you today. I do miss your posts and your general positivity. I hope the pain of the last ivf is somehow subsiding. I miss you on here.

MrsD – Not long till Tues. Try not to worry. It does sound like you have quite a few eggs so that’s good news. Numbers do look promising and I agree with others re not paying too much attention to manner of doc. He was probably thinking about something else.

Cytokines are regulators of host responses to infection, immune responses etc. They are one of the things they test for in the Chicago immunes. According to Dr Beer and my clinic, they could be responsible for implantation failure, miscarriages and unexplained infertility. Argy won’t do an ivf unless levels are below 30. Mine started off at 37, then 48 after 1st lot of Humira and now I don’t know but they are not below 30. Next step is probably intralipids or ivig for me. I am tempted to forget the immunes and just go for my NHS round to see what happens. I talked to the NHS today and they have offered to do a dummy embryo transfer for me next week but actual IVF will probably be Jan because they don’t like to do IVF in Dec due to hols etc. I still don’t know what is the right path to go. I just feel v despondent. I know I have no right to feel this way as many 10 plussers have been through much worst than this. I am just not sure how much more waiting I can handle. I feel like I am in a v black place in my mind. I’m really sorry for the me me post. Think I will take a melatonin and get an early night as I have to work all weekend as well.

sea yes I chose to extend my intralipids, usually you stop at 16 weeks I also took the Hydroxy for an extra 5 weeks too, they say you can have a flare up between 16-20 weeks so I wasn't chancing it, some have had intralipids up to week 32.

Are intralipids and pred also part of your treatment plan, is the ARGY doing your immunes

Lemons - super news, what a relief.

Buzz - goodness , I am sorry you are so unwell. As Mrsd said, you must come and moan on here and get it off your chest if that is what you want. Don't feel you can't. I hope you get better soon.

Cos - you have been unbelievable during all of this. I have admired your strength and positivity. It is totally understandable to feel crap. Your hormones are all over the place as well.

Mrsd - sorry about the worry. It's easy to worry about every single thing but follies do grow at different rates so hopefully you'll have a much better picture on Tues.

Sea - I am so sorry to hear about your cytokines again. What a nightmare. That's it for humira now isn't it? Could you do our nhs cycle with doing intrallipds /ivig??? This waiting around must be so hard.

Sorry posted before finishing...

Sea - what is involved with a dummy transfer?

Nolly - welcome and sorry to hear you are having a tough time. And oh dear the GP having to look up pcos.

Well I have been so bad with my eating since last ivf. Biscuits everyday. Cake etc and now I have thrush. Serves me right. Sugar overload has brought it on . I hate it!

Lemon - so delighted for you. What wonderful news and 8 weeks already. Congratulations my lovely. This is really happening.

Gosh sea- so sorry for the stress and confusion. So can you do the nhs round regardless of the private round? In which case you could start with either. Im sorry I dont know a great deal about immunes but I do know that the gut feeling about what is / isnt wrong is usually correct. I know that horrible black cloud. Its not a nice feeling. Once a decision is made you will feel better.

rabbit - oh my days. Any updates? I agree about poas to rule this in/out. Do you know what.......there is literally bags of hope for you. Your body is not far from achieving its goal. So glad you liked reflexology. I think it can be very powerful.

euro - I was sad to read your recent posts and hope you are feeling a little better. Bestie and wine sound good! I greived deeply for my mc too. Your body is very capable of pregnancy. It is sheer luck and time now, that is all. You will get there.

Den - those scans sound good and a nice amount of follies. Remember that when there are a good handful rather than lots they arent competing with one another for nutrients. Even though my cycle failed the stimmimg part was slow for me too and I got good eggs in the end, all mature. You seem to be going the same way, keep believing honey.

Buzz - oh no, what an unpleasant experience. Hope you are feeling better and your health concerns are being taken seriously. Are you able to finish for mat leave soon?

Oh and welcome nolly. Hope your stay is short and sweet. You will find this thread ca real comfort and resource.

joy - sorry about the thrush, yuk. But I would be the same with the treats,. Its hard to be good all the time. Take care sweetheart. X

buzz I'm sorry you are suffering. I strongly feel that after all we have been through to get here, we should breeze through pregnancy and have sneeze births!

joy sorry about the yucky thrush. I only ever get it on the Pill. So it's never likely to be an issue for me again!

sea I think I might be inclined to go with the NHS round. But then I tend to feel better when I'm doing something! I'm not good at patiently waiting.

Thanks for the support ladies.

Euro - at sneeze births. I am tempted to go with NHS round but MrSea rationalises that if immunes is the only thing that is found to be "wrong" with me so far, shouldn't we continue with treatment for it? Difficult to argue with.

Joy - Dummy Embryo Transfer is basically a trial run process of ET. They do it to take measurements and note any deviations of the uterus. It also allows them to establish how easy/difficult it will be to do ET. Oh they also do a 3D Saline Infusion Sonography with it. I am not entirely sure what that is. It's v odd as all the paperwork UCLH gave me on this was printed on CRGH letterhead as was their consent forms but when I talked to them they said the procedure will be done at UCLH. You will find all this out when you cycle there I am sure. Good luck with your follow up consult with the Argy this week. Pls update on what they say.

Buzz - I hope you are feeling better! Yes Argy is doing all my immunes stuff hence the Humira. Did you have your ivf with a clinic that also provided you with immunes or did you have a regular ivf (with DE) and additional immune support elsewhere? Are you continuing with intralipids up to 32 weeks? Have you found any side effects from them? I think this is the next step for me. Pretty sure this is what the docs will say next week even though I know intralipids is meant to be pretty ineffective for Cytokines.

Rum - Where are you at now?

Rabbit - Did you POAS? Any sign of the red witch this weekend?

MrsD - Hope the weekend has been restful and your lovely eggies are growing well.

Hello to Coco, Dulcet, Nelly, Nolly...

Waves to our glowing preggos - Lemons, Sar, Gin, Doll, Critter, Buzz, Sweet... we have quite a list now!!