Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

bin the pate, drink the booze!

may I say you might not be able to nor willing to booze by Christmas.

DH waved a glass of Champagne under my nose at New year's Eve when I was about 10 weeks pg with DS1 - next thing you know I was puking in the loo.

just saying.

what are your "provisional" due dates?

Ive had a look (assuming I didn't have a false positive) (and assuming it sticks but with these cramps who knows) it would be about 14 July or so.

minion

I'm due on Thursday and if I'm pg that will be my date too!!!!

the cramps could easily be implantation pain.

7 July on one prediction calendar 14 july on another... who knows...

Just been trying to make sense of what i can eat - whats the deal with mozzarella, feta and philadelphia?

They aren't pasturised I don't think? So bugs in them haven't been killed - not sure what bugs though???

Just spoke to the flipping hospital. Only 6 weeks since I went in and they told me my cervix was crap and I'd not heard anything so I chased again. They said they haven't even discussed it yet (some tool told me last week they had) and they are scheduled to meet to talk about it on 22nd Nov, and then I should expect a letter within 4 weeks. FFS. Most annoying this is there is FA I can do to speed things up. On the bright side, at least I know now that I am icing, so I'm going to get the supercharged cape out this month while I wait for that pigging letter.

check what's pasteurised - if in doubt leave it out.

with DD I couldn't eat any pig related food while pg and the first few months of bf (I'm not telling you why), so no bacon, no sausages or ham or anything for almost a year!
it was a tough time.

(first world problem of the year)

Looks like I'll be eating the pate.
I've started bleeding.
Great

oh drat. minion, sorry about that!

minion

Didnt have a hope in hell did I?
Was alerted to it as had the worst cramp of my life. Oddly enough it's now gone.
Onwards to November, bit gutted I allowed myself to become excited.
What. A. Fool.

So sorry minion :(

Aww noo minion . Eat the pate and drink the balies...the whole bottle!

wagga
I wish it were a full one, sadly it's a bloody mini one haha!
Husband has run out in the rain for fish, chips and curry sauce, yum!
And we are viewing another house again tomorrow so, alls not lost...

Is it defo a full bleed minion? Just trying to have some hope that's its a blip. Hope the chips have cheered you up either way.

Argh that sucks Minion!! Fx that it's just a blip, but deffo scoff the pate anyway

Oh no minion thats not fair!

Yep think its ERTD finally paying her respects. Funnily enough straight after the big cramp I had absolutely nothing, but then it came back after 2 hours and is now a minor annoyance.
Grrrr
Think the line was just a evap line in all honesty. So lord knows how I will feel should I ever get upduffed seeing as though as I get all the pg symptoms every freaking month.

Oh, minion, that stinks :( Indulge in the pate, the fish, the chips, the booze, etc. I was really hopeful for you.

essie the brownies are amazing - from the Barefoot Contessa cookbook (is Ina Garten on any cooking channels in the UK?).

I get the ban on booze, raw fish, etc. but I think the whole cheese thing is ridiculous. The chances of picking up listeria from cheese are so small. I probably wouldn't eat anything moldy or super runny, but mozzarella? Come on!

Awaiting ERTD here. No sign. I thought I saw some spotting last night, but clear right now. Should arrive on Wednesday. Doing my Day 3 blood work Friday, then and going over final plans for IVF! Nervous!

Why why does a Facebook announcement of someone pregnant reduce me to tears?

minion sorry to hear you has a wee false alarm. Wine for you!

Congrats on the BFP maggie hurrah!

Exciting stuff with your IVF hurrying along red. Best wishes and I have my fingers tightly crossed!

I know just how you feel Quark - just found out today that my cousin AND one of my pals at work are pregnant! Happy for them - sad for me :-(

Maggie, re: cheese, I'd copied & pasted the NHS cheese guidelines for myself because I'm a massive cheese nut, so pasted below if it helps! It's not nearly as strict as I thought at first

Cheese that's ok!
You can eat hard cheeses such as cheddar, parmesan and stilton, even if they're made with unpasteurised milk. Hard cheeses don't contain as much water as soft cheeses so bacteria are less likely to grow in them. It is possible for hard cheese to contain listeria, but the risk is considered to be low.
Many soft types of cheese are OK to eat provided they're made from pasteurised milk. These include:
cottage cheese
mozzarella
feta
cream cheese
paneer
ricotta
halloumi
goats' cheese
processed cheeses such as cheese spreads
Thorough cooking should kill any bacteria in cheese, so it should be safe to eat cooked mould-ripened soft cheese, such as brie or camembert, and cooked soft blue cheese, such as roquefort or gorgonzola, or dishes that contain them. It's important to make sure the cheese is thoroughly cooked until it's steaming hot all the way through.

Cheese that's not ok!
Don't eat mould-ripened soft cheese, such as brie and camembert whether it's made with cows' or goats' milk.
You should also avoid soft blue-veined cheeses, such as Danish blue, gorgonzola and roquefort.
This is because soft cheeses are less acidic than hard cheeses and they contain more moisture, which means they can be an ideal environment for harmful bacteria, such as listeria, to grow in.

I'm on the sticks this month, after being told my bloods indicated I maybe wasn't ovulating. Sod's law, smiley today when I am away from home. We did get a shag in Sunday so still hope!

Oh the Facebook announcement quark, I think it gets to most of us! It's sometimes the surprise I think too. I had one in the week from a girl I've not seen since college and I still sat there looking at it thinking 'why?!'

Do you get some choices to make with the IVF then red? How exciting to be so close, but scary too! Although hopefully you won't need it if ERTD stays away!